Celeriac and Cured Trout…adulterated from SMH.
I saw this recipe last week and it tickled my fancy. You don’t need to cure thetrout or salmon (it takes about 3 hours to sit and marinate) and youdon’t need to cook the celeriac. This means it takes about 5 minutes tomake.
More to time to eat and drink.
You need for 4 fashionista and 2 men, 30 models.
200g table salt
200g caster sugar
1 tbsp coriander seeds, roasted
1 tbsp chopped fresh dill ( optional)
4 fish fillet
1 small celeriac
2 sticks celery
3 tbsp mayonnaise
1 tbsp salted capers
Extra sea salt
Freshly ground white pepper
Fresh bunch of Coriander to accessorise
- Head to the Fruit shop and find a celeriac.
- You may not know what they look like. Think Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse. On a bad day.
- On arrival at home remove YSL platforms, Floral Balenciaga dress,Marni cuffs
- Slip into Missoni kaftan.
- Pour a wine.
- Find the coriander seeds.
- Heat a frypan and roast the coriander for a minute to two til they smell and looked suntanned. Set aside.
- Find a bowl.
- Throw in the salt, sugar, coriander seeds.
- Then place the trout in the bowl and cover it completely with the coriander salt mix.
- Pop the trout into the fridge for three hours to sit alone and ponder life.
- Pour another wine and sit back and flip through latest US Vogue.
- When you go back to the fridge for more wine you can also remove the trout.
- Wash the salt mix off the fish and dry on it some paper towel. Not a Missoni towel.
- Now pull out the celeriac.
- Hope and pray that your skin does not look this. Ever.
- Vow to always wear sunscreen and Crème de la Mer religiously.
- Cut off or peel the skin off the celeriac. Think a facial scrub.
- Slice very thinly into thin little sticks. Think the Prada runway. Think karli Kloss.
- Chop up the celery into cute little slices the size of a Chanel bag buckle.
- Find a bowl and throw in the sticks of celeriac, the mayonnaise, the celery and the capers and give it a good mix.
- Put another wine. Drink this one slowly.
- Now is a good time to cook the trout or the salmon. Roast or fry. You decide.
- To serve: dollop the celeriac on a chic white plate.
- Let the fish lie back and relax nonchalantly on top.
- Accessorize with divine, little green sprigs of fresh coriander.
- Crunchy, fresh and as delicious as the Dior resort show.
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