The FiFi Report 201

Rich Chocolate Brownies… adulterated from Jill Dupleix

Jill Dupleix says "this is a full on hit of rich dense, gooey, pure choclate cooked in a slab. Cut into generous messy, fudgy square. The top will sink and crack and look like a disaster area. This is good."
You need for 40 models, 20 children, 10 teenagers and 2 gourmandes watching a romantic comedy late at night

250 gm bitter chocolate, chopped
175 gm butter
175 gm white sugar
3 eggs
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
100 gm walnuts, roughly chopped
100 gm plain flour
1 level teaspoon baking powder

  • Turn on the oven to about 180ºC.
  • Find any old cake tin that’s about 10" by 12". Think George on a good night.
  • Head to fridge to find the chocolate and the butter.
  • Ignore the wine.
  • Close fridge door.
  • I said ignore the wine. Put it back.
  • Moisterise the cake tin with lashings of butter.
  • Do not even start counting calories.
  • Find a saucepan that wil fit inside another so you can melt the chocolate over simmering water.
  • This is so easy. Just fill one saucepan with water then get it simmering.
  • Break up the chocolate and eat a chunk to test it’s edible and throw it in another saucepan with the butter.
  • Put the this saucepan of butter and chocolate on top of the other so it’s floating.
  • Stir the chocolate and butter and taste it to make sure it’s Ok.
  • Please take off pristine white Jil Sander dress before any finger licking.
  • When the butter and the chocolate has melted let it have a little quiet time by itself and cool down.
  • Chop up the walnuts roughly. They like it rough.
  • Then find another bowl and toss in the eggs and sugar and beat them baby, beat them.
  • They should be lovely and pale and creamy as Nicole Kidman.
  • Fold the chocolate mix into the egg as gently as you would fold a beautiful Lanvin pleat dress.
  • Sift the flour into the mix with the baking powder.
  • Taste again to check it’s delicious. There are no calories in tasting. Scientific tests have proved it.
  • Add walnuts and vanilla essence and fold it gently.
  • Pour it all into the cake tin.
  • Whack in the oven.
  • Get out spoon, sit down and work your way through licking the bowl.
  • Do not think of bikinis. Summer is nearly over.
  • Let them cook for about 35 minutes; you want them gooey and soft like your thighs.
  • Then cut them up and sprinkle with icing sugar. Think Chanel Couture show for the snow sprinkling inspiration.
  • Eat. Pray. Love.