The FiFi Report 186

Little Lemon Tarts
Need a little sweetie to take on a picnic? Perhaps a little something to serve after dinner? These little tarts are sexy.

You need for 100 models or 8 fashionistas, 4 men …Makes 8.
2 short crust frozen pastry sheets
60g butter
1/3 cup caster sugar
2 eggs
1 teasp lemon zest
70ml lemon juice
1 tabs cornflour
1 lemon
1 tabs caster sugar for accessorising later on the lemon slices

  • Preheat oven to 180
  • Get pastry sheets out of fridge
  • Get wine out of fridge
  • Put wine back into fridge; it’s too early.
  • I said put the wine back in the fridge. With the chocolate.
  • Zest the lemon.
  • Watch the manicure
  • Juice the lemon.
  • Scramble around in bottom drawer to find a big muffin tray with 8 muffin spots.(Muffin spots not tops)
  • Moisturise the muffin pan with butter. Think Creme de la Mer. It’s just makes it all seem better.
  • Now slice up the pastry sheets into 8 squares. Best if the pastry is still slightly firm. As your hips were before you ate these.
  • Gently press the chic, little squares of pastry into the muffin pans. Yes you have to use your fingers.
  • Apply as you would a face mask.
  • Chuck the butter and sugar into a bowl (always better than the bench. Not so messy) and then give them a good beating. They love it. You want them as creamy and pale as Nicole Kidman in Cold Mountain.
  • Add the eggs one at a time. Beating it all up after each one.
  • Now toss in the lemon zest , lemon juice and the cornflour. Beat it more. Beating is good for the upper arms. Lemon tarts are bad for lower bottom. Muffin bottom!
  • Dip your finger and taste it. No calories in that . Now spoon about two tabs of the gooey lemon mix into each of the pastry squares waiting quietly and patiently in their tins for attention.
  • Whack in the oven and cook till the filling looks firm and set. Think Joan Rivers face. If it doesn’t move it’s cooked. The pastry should be golden as a Miu Miu shoe.
  • Before you serve them you can slice up some lemon, sprinkle them with sugar and toss under the griller.This will caramelise the lemons in about 2 mins.
  • Accessorise each lemon tart with a piece of the sexy, little caramelised lemon.
  • Sprinkle with icing sugar for a few more calories