The FiFi Report 183

Broad bean and Pecorino with Tagliatelle (or try it with Chicken or Lamb) ..adulterated from The River Café Cookbook

You need: (for 2 Dags, 4 Fashionista, 10 models)
700g Frozen or fresh Broad Beans
100g pecorino or parmesan
1 bunch fresh basil
3 garlic cloves
salt
freshly ground black pepper
75ml extra virgin olive oil
juice of 1/2 lemon
250g dried tagliatelle or lamb or chicken

  • Take off Marni shiny plastic T shirt and wooden necklace.
  • Put on old favourite T Shirt
  • Pour a wine or two
  • Climb out of very high Chloe platforms.
  • Get frozen broad beans out of freezer. Don’t frown. Frozen beans are snap fresh and fabulous. It’s the same philosophy as Botox.
  • Remove the pod from the broad beans. With your fingers. Mind the manicure.
  • Divide the beans into 3 batches.
  • Now grab the basil and tear the leaves up roughly. They love it rough.
  • Grate the pecorino into a bowl
  • Now find the Mortar and Pestle and throw in the about a third of the beans with 1 garlic clove, 2 tabs of basil leaves and a little salt.
  • Think of ex boyfriends and husbands. You will do an excellent job at pounding it into a course paste.
  • Now drizzle in a little olive oil. It needs moisterising. Just like you do.
  • Give it a good mix and then pour another wine.
  • Throw it (the mix; not the wine) into a bowl to sit for a little Zen time by its lonesome.
  • Now go back to the Mortar and pestle and toss in the second third of the beans with another garlic clove, more basil and salt.
  • Think ex boyfriend and pound, pound, pound!
  • Moisterise with more oil. Think Crème de la Mer.
  • Add this add to the first mixture resting in the bowl
  • Now repeat the pounding with the rest of the beans, oil and basil.
  • Taste and lick fingers: season with pepper and lemon juice.
  • Now cook up some chicken lamb or pasta.
  • If cooking with pasta keep the pasta quite wet after you’ve drained it
  • Then toss in the broad bean sauce and grate over some more Percorino (or parmesan)
  • Drizzle with snazzy designer olive oil and accessorise with green Basil leaves.
  • Sensational