The FiFi Report 365

Sicilian aubergine stew (caponata)…. adulterated from jamieoliver.com

I love anything Italian and I am always looking out for recipes I can whip up and then keep in the fridge to quickly cook up later with chicken, fish or a steak. You can serve this as an antipasto or as chic little side dish. There are a few versions of Caponata: some recipes have capsicum, some have celery and some have canned tomatoes. I like this unadulterated taste of eggplant.

You need for 4 fashionista, 2 men or 40 models:

2 nice large firm purple aubergines, cut into large chunks ( not too small or they soak up the oil)
1 heaped teaspoon dried oregano
sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 small red onion, peeled and finely chopped
2 cloves of garlic, peeled and finely sliced
a small bunch of fresh flat-leaf parsley, leaves picked and stalks finely chopped
2 tablespoons salted capers, rinsed, soaked and drained
a handful of green olives, stones removed
2-3 tablespoons best-quality herb vinegar ( if you don’t have herb vinegar then use half Balsamic and half white wine)
5 large ripe tomatoes, roughly chopped
olive oil
optional: 2 tablespoons slivered almonds, lightly toasted

• Slip into your new Celine jumpsuit.
• Climb out of your new Chloe wedges.
• Pour a huge glass of wine or ten.
• Chop up the aubergine into large chunks:TIP:  if they are too small they will soak up too much oil. Just like you.
• Pop on your new Prada kooky sunglasses to chop the onions into small little kooky pieces.
• Please don’t cry.
• Chop up the garlic as small as Kim Kardashian’s brain. Actually not that small .
• Ask George Clooney to pick the leaves off the parsley and chop the stalks. He needs a job.
• Drain the capers and remove the stones from the olives.
• Pour another glass of wine and inhale.
• Roughly chop tomatoes.
• Find a large pan and pour in a couple of lugs of olive oil and turn on the heat Baby.
• Toss in the aubergine chunks and sprinkle in the oregano, season with a little salt and give it a good mix so the aubergine has an even moisterising of oil.
• Cook it a high heat for around 4 or 5 minutes, giving the pan a shake every now and then. Like you do to George when he is not listening.
• TIP: Jamie says depending on the size of your pan you may need to cook the aubergine in batches.
• When the aubergines are as nice and golden as an Hermes bag on each side you can throw in the onion, garlic and parsley stalks.
• Cook away for another couple of minutes.
• Ok: Pour another wine.Hic.
• You might need add a little more oil to moisterise the pan if you feel it’s getting too dry. Think Crème De Mer Serum.
• Toss in the drained capers, the olives and drizzle over the vinegar.
• When the vinegar has evaporated, throw in the tomatoes and simmer for around 15 minutes or until they have softened and are as tender as George on a good night ( after a shake).
• Season and then taste it to see if you need more anything.
• To serve you can drizzle with some good designer olive oil.
• Accessorise with chopped parsley leaves and the almonds.
• Molto Buono.