The FiFi Report 288

Spicy Prawn and Coconut Salad ………………adulterated from jamieoliver.com

A delicious, crunchy, tangy dinner with summery Asian flavours. So easy to whip up…. Oh and I did I mention slimming too? You can do this with poached and shredded chicken instead of prawns.

You need for 2 people : you and George Clooney or for 10 models.

12 cooked king prawns. Or large poached chicken breast
½ cucumber sliced very thinly
2 large handfuls of snow peas, julienne
2 large handfuls of beans sprouts
¼ fresh coconut, shelled, shaved.
½ bunch each coriander, mint, thai basil, chopped.
1 green and 1 red chilli, sliced  (depending how hot you want it make sure you get a big, long red chilli )

Dressing
1 green chilli, finely chopped
1 lemongrass, outer layers discarded, root finely chopped ( this is optional) Lemongrass can be a very strong flavour
Small knob of ginger, finely chopped
Juice of 2 or 3 limes
Pinch of sugar
4 or 5 tabs vegetable or peanut oil
TIP: I say also add a drop or two of sesame oil , dash of fish sauce and even some Mirin to get a fabulous dressing.

  • Slip into your Gucci Caftan
  • Slip on your Hermes thongs
  • Pull your hair up into a chic chignon
  • Apply crème de Mer
  • Find a big bowl to toss all the ingredients in as you chop.
  • Pour a glad of wine.
  • Now slice up the cucumber ever so thinly: think a stick insect model or Vicky Beckham. Tip: You can do this with a vegetable peeler so the slices are truly as thin as Vicky B’s arms.
  • Chop off the ends of the snow peas and chop ever so thinly: Think Nicole Kidman.
  • Ask George Clooney to break open the fresh coconut with your sharpest Jimmy Choo stilettos
  • Then order him to shave the coconut flesh: Hint: tell him to use a vegetable peeler to shave off thin slices.
  • Now grab the lovely fresh herbs and roughly chop them.
  • Now slice up the chilli with a knife and fork so you don’t get burnt when you are wiping the mascara off your eye.
  • Pour another glass of wine. AA is booked for next week.
  • Get the prawns shelled and ready for eating. Delegate George to do that it’s so icky with the manicure.
  • If you are cooking a chicken breast instead of prawns then best to poach that now with a lime leaf in the water.
  • When it’s cooked, drain and let it cool and then pull it apart and shred it with your fingers.
  • Grate the ginger (or chop finely) so it’s as small as Heidi Montag’s brain.
  • If you want to add lemongrass then chop it up very, very finely as small as your bank account……otherwise the flavour is too strong.
  • Mix the dressing ingredients together in another bowl. Stick your finger and taste. Make more so that the salad is juicy and moist.
  • Toss all the other ingredients in a bowl.
  • Drizzle over the tangy dressing
  • Sublime !