The FiFi Report 261

Chicken, Leek and Mushroom Pies …adulterated from Cuisine.

On a cold rainy night is there anything better than a very French Chicken and Leek Pie? The key to French cooking? Butter, cream and wine…

You need for 4 x size 10 girls, 2 hungry shopperholics or 30 French Vogue Fashion editors.

25g butter
2 to 3 chicken breasts cut into 2cm pieces
300g button mushrooms
2 leeks, finely sliced or 1 brown onion
1 clove of garlic, finely chopped
4 sprigs thyme
1/4 cup plain flour
1 cup chicken stock or 1 cup of white wine
1/2 cup sour cream
4 tabs chopped parsley
salt and pepper to season
1 sheet frozen puff pastry, thawed
1 egg, beaten

• Preheat oven to 200°C.
• Flick on Open Fire DVD.
• Turn on heater.
• Slip out of Burberry puffa jacket and into Burberry sweater dress.
• Step down out of Balenciaga platforms.
• The air is colder down here on the ground so pull on your Prada socks.
• Pour a wine. Gulp.
• Take off Hermes gloves.
• Put on Chanel sunglasses; reapply waterproof mascara.
• Now chop up the onion. Don’t cry.
• Chop up the chicken into the size of a Cartier Pasha watch.
• Chop up garlic into the size of Lindsay Lohan brain.
• Chop up the mushrooms into the size of a Prada bag clasp.
• Pull the pastry sheet out of the freezer.
• Now find a frying pan and melt the butter (you can add olive oil too for even more fabulous calories).
• Throw the chicken in the divine butter until it’s browned a little (it will cook more later).
• Set it aside on another plate so the chicken can have a little alone time.
• Now toss in the garlic, leeks, and the beautiful thyme.
• Pour in the wine and then why not? Have another glass yourself. I insist. Hic.
• Let it simmer for a couple of minutes until the leeks are nearly cooked. It might take about 5 or more minutes.
• Pop the chicken back in the pan (it was getting very lonely).
• Now let it simmer and cook away for about 5 minutes or so.
• When it’s cooked pour in all those naughty calories of sour cream and the chopped parsley.
• Season with lots of salt and pepper.
• Now cut the pastry top so that it will fit the top of the pie dish.
• Now spoon the chicken moosh into one big pie dish or into 4 cute little ramekins.
• Pop the pastry on top and give it a prick. If you know what I mean. This is an air vent.
• If you can be bothered you can brush the pastry with a beaten egg but it won’t be tragic if you don’t.
• Toss in the oven and cook for about 20 minutes or until the pastry is crisp and lovely and golden as an Hermes bag.
• Serve with une salade verte.
• Délicieux.