The FiFi Report 252

Anzac Biscuits… adulterated from Jill Dupleix

You need for one day of eating.

100g rolled oats
50g desiccated coconut
130g plain flour, sifted
100g sugar
Pinch of salt
125g unsalted butter, diced
3tbsp water
2tbsp golden syrup
1tsp bicarbonate of soda

• Climb out of Nina Ricci platforms.
• Listen to your toes murmuring thank you.
• Slip into Chanel track pants and hoodie.
• Now crank up the oven to 150C.
• Find two baking trays and line them with baking paper.
• Grab a big chic mixing bowl.
• Toss in the oats, coconut, the flour and sugar and the pinch of salt and give it a mix.
• Get the fabulous unsalted butter and outrageously naughty golden syrup out of the fridge.
• Put back the wine. Right now. AA is reading this.
• Find a saucepan and melt the butter, water and golden syrup.
• Stir it and watch it go smooth as an Hermes bag and bubbly as Moet.
• Get it off the heat and now quickly stir in the bicarbonate of soda so that it goes as light and frothy as Gossip Girls.
• Pour that wet buttery yummy mix on to the dry mixture of the oats and coconut, etc.
• Mix it quickly and make sure it’s all worked into together like a good face pack.
• Taste it to make sure it’s delicious.
• Grab a tablespoon and drop a blob of the mix on to the baking trays. Make room between each one for later spreading in the oven. As your hips will after eating.
• You can lightly press each one if you want to be an Iron Chef.
• Toss in the oven and cook for about 15 minutes. But keep an eye out and watch out they will burn as easily as Karen Elson.
• You want them as golden as Donatella but slightly soft in the middle like George Clooney.
• When you get them out of oven just gently slide the baking paper on to a wire tray so they can cool and have a rest.
• The idea is to let them cool completely and remove the paper. It should just peel off.
• Store in an airtight jar so you can take about 3 hours to eat them.
• Then say a prayer for the Anzacs. Bless.