• "I’ve actually rented Björk’s swan dress. I know that’s kind of recycling, but I saw An Inconvenient Truth.” The Office star Rainn Wilson, on what he plans to wear to the Emmys.
• "I love to avoid scenes where I ride on a broomstick for obvious reasons. I want to have children in the future." Daniel Radcliffe, on his least favourite Harry Potter scenes.
• "Yes. I am innocent … I did not do drugs, they’re not mine” Lindsay Lohan (which is only slightly less credible than the ‘My dog ate my homework’ defence). She was riding a broomstick at the time.
• "I’m just hoping people do get it and don’t truly think that I do sunbathe in high heels and a bikini and a full face of makeup." Vicky B (Victoria Beckham) we believe that as much as we believe Lindsay’s Dog ate her homework and put drugs in her pocket.
• “If things go well and we get married, I’m going to be smart this time and I’m going to have him sign a pre-nup and if we get divorced, I’ll get half his allowance." Paula Abdul is so dumb at being smart. Her Dog ate her pre-nup.
• “I’m not walking into Katie Holmes’ performance, I’m thinking of it as an opportunity to play somebody who’s alive and smart.“ Maggie Gyllenhaal on her part in the new Batman movie (so Katie really is dead and dumb).
• “’Who is this man with a ball cap and this woman with black sunglasses?" One of the French employees of a theme park on seeing Brad Pitt and Angelina’s van with blacked-out windows pull up.
• "To see Brad Pitt knocking around in a bouncy castle with his children and screaming like wild animals was like a hallucination." Another employee at the Park.
• "I think they have this impression that I’m this miserable cow who doesn’t smile. But I’m actually quite the opposite." Victoria Beckham has a hallucination that is she is not a miserable cow. She is miserable Fembot.
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