• “David Hicks can’t tell difference between solitary confinement and Adelaide. Human rights groups have called Hicks’ return to Adelaide proof the Howard government endorses the use of torture” The Chaser
• “She’s never been alone… This is real time out." Kathy Hilton on Paris’ time in jail. (She has never been to Adelaide!)
• "Why should there be prejudice against someone who’s had success and looks a little better than average? It’s my genes, so don’t hold it against me." Cameron Diaz on looking fabulous
• "It was uncomfortable, like wearing pantyhose everywhere." Jessica Alba on her Fantastic Four costume. It’s in her genes. If you had that body you’d wear panty hose all day too.
• "It’s ridiculous to ban contraceptives. You only have to think of the diseases that are transmitted without them. I think it should be compulsory to use a contraceptive." Giselle Bunchen on the Pope’s ban. It’s in her genes. No diseases for her.
• “It was itchy and scratchy and I couldn’t eat anything that would stain it. So no chili or tomato soup." Steve Carrell on transmittable diseases? No, on the challenges of wearing a long beard for the film Evan Almighty
• "About a year ago I called him on his tour bus and heard giggling voices in the background. After that I said, ‘No more girls on the bus.” Katherine Heigl, on her no-groupies policy for musician fiancé Josh Kelley. No itchy scratchy diseases.
• "I don’t disagree with anything Tom says. I just have an opinion on things, and there is nothing wrong with stating your opinion” John Travolta on agreeing with Tom Cruise. Oh dear. Agreeing with Tom is a scratchy itchy disease.
• “Paris is known for her variety of looks, this season it’ll be stripes. The judge who sentenced Paris Hilton said he had considered a community service order instead of jail, but had decided that Hilton could best serve the community by being removed from it” The Chaser
• “More problems today for Paris Hilton in prison. Apparently she saw another woman wearing the exact same outfit that she had on.“ Jay Leno (Stripes are in).
• "Somebody sent her some family photos and she tried to put some on the wall and the guard came in and ripped them off." Kathy Hilton on Paris in Jail. Probably shots of her in bad stripe outfits.
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