The FiFi Report 167

A tribute to Paris Hilton and her jail sentence

  • "I feel that I was treated unfairly, and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted. I don’t deserve this" (Yes and that’s what we said about your singing.)
  • "I can’t believe this, I can’t believe this." Kathy Hilton (Why surprised? This is worse than a sex video?).
  • “I can’t believe this, either." Rick Hilton (that’s what he said about the video)
  • "I don’t know what happened," said Paris. (You ignored the law dumb dumb)
  • "And after all the money we spent!" Kathy Hilton (on education or plastic surgery?)
  •  "You’re pathetic. Can I have your autograph?" Kathy Hilton, red in the face, to one of the prosecutors (Like mother. Like daughter)
  •  “I am ready to face the consequences of violating probation. No one is above the law. I surely am not. I do not expect to be treated better than anyone else who violated probation. However, my hope is that I will not be treated worse." Says Paris (she understands the legal system well. She will be treated worse?“ )
  • "My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sign it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!" writes Paris on her petition to be above the law and to drop the jail sentence . (obviously the money was spent on plastic surgery).
  • " If it were anyone else, this would’ve never had happened."  Kathy Hilton (True. They would have obeyed the law )
  • "I think I get in more trouble just because of who I am. The cops do it all the time. They’ll just pull me over to hit on me. It’s really annoying. They’re like, ‘What’s your phone number? Want to go to dinner?’ "They just pull me over, and the paparazzi, of course, take a picture. All the time. I have so many cops’ business cards.” (They are called fines darling).
  • “ the 45-day jail will actually increase her star appeal in a very sick and demented way, There’s a segment of our society that’s somehow engaged in the soap opera that is Paris Hilton, and this a very compelling plot line in the soap opera." Says her Publicist. ( Fantastic! Make her the most popular celebutante in existence and leave her locked up in jail forever)
  • "I’m looking for another house right now, in Malibu, and another in Bel Air. I’m going to keep this house as my office, or a party place, or whatever. In my new house, I will not have pictures of myself everywhere” (Wanted Dead or alive posters?)
  • "It’s a very nice place." Says the Jail
  • Free Paris Hilton here http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/PH21781/index.html
  • Sign the petition to send her to jail here http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/jailparishilton/?