"There are many ways to find happiness, but I think the only true way is to know yourself, although it helps to have millions in the bank and a good-looking 28-year-old boyfriend!" Demi Moore is deliriously happy.
"I’m one fascinating b**ch. I’m not gonna lie to you." Lindsay Lohan truly knows herself. Happy?
"Tabloids don’t sell movies or help anyone’s career. If that were true, every Lindsay Lohan movie would open to $80 million." Cameron Diaz never lies.
"If I was a gold-digger, I would have a lot of money in my bank account. I’d be worth millions and millions." Heather Mills is not happy. Lies.
"Never film yourself having sex. You think you’ll look powerful and vital but you don’t. You look like a sick, shivering polar bear." Ben Affleck. Polar Bears are very big animals. Shivering or not.
“Eva Longoria is angrily denying rumors that she will be playing Beyoncé’s lesbian lover in a movie. So no one knows if the movie is real or just a dream I had." Conan O’Brien.
"I’m continuously Googling myself. And I Google myself in different languages too. I see what the Romanians are saying about me, or the Finns. Apparently I’m very popular, especially in Finland." The Office star Rainn Wilson.
"I can’t wait. I still want them to be big - they’re certainly not going to be small. I just want them to be more pert. I’ll put them on eBay and I’ll want a minimum of £1 million. I’ll give some of that to charity." Model Jordan on her plan to sell her implants online. Happy.
"It smells like sex, basically. It’s like Chanel No.5 after being in bed for the weekend." Thandie Newton at jeweler Solange Azagury-Partridge’s party for her first fragrance, Stoned. Stoned?
"Yeah, there’s a war going on in Iraq." Justin Timberlake, when asked to comment on Britney Spears and Kevin Federline divorcing. Nuf Said.
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