“I guess the mosquito in Juba looked at me and thought I was the bar.” George Clooney has malaria after going to Africa. Bless.
“Clooney malaria update: now have 24,563 offers to nurse him. But his rep says medication’s worked and he’s OK. Sorry, ladies” Piers Morgan.
” One day, we were driving and you could smell it from somewhere. My daughter asked what the smell was so I told her it was a skunk. Then she said, ‘Sometimes Daddy smells like that!’” Mark Wahlberg, on why dope is no longer dope
“Her child will probably need therapy after seeing Black Swan.” Jake Gyllenhaal on Natalie Portman
“It’s going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: breakfast.” Golden Globe host Host Ricky Gervais.
“Many of you in this room probably know him best from such facilities as the Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angeles County Jail.” Ricky Gervais introduces Robert Downey Jr.
“Aside from the fact that it’s been hugely mean-spirited with mildly sinister undertones, I’d say the vibe of the show has been pretty good so far, wouldn’t you?” Downey Jr. later said on stage
“We recall when Ricky Gervais was a slightly chubby but very kind comedian,” Tom Hanks. ( when was that?)
“I think there will be a collective sigh amongst women across the United States when I say Ryan [Reynolds] is not my lovah, He’s just been an amazing friend for 10 years … but I don’t get his loving after dark.” Sandra Bullock
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Everyone knows the yanks have had their sense of humour gene removed. Only the Brits do comedy well.