Ocean’s Thirteen …Directed by Steven Soderbergh
Based on: Ocean’s 11 and 12
Genre: Dumb Bloke’s Comedy
Subtitles: If only to explain the plot
Who: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Ellen Barkin, Don Cheadle, Al Pacino
The Plot: George looks suave in a chic suit. Swoon. Brad looks handsome in groovy shirt. Swoon. They plan a heist. I think. Crack lame jokes. Matt Damon puts on fake nose. Don Cheadle puts on fake English accent. Ellen Barkin puts on a pencil skirt. Al Pacino puts on a brave face. Nothing happens. Snooze. Wait for Clooney/ Pitt to reappear. Swoon. Snooze. Wait for Clooney /Pitt .Swoon. Snooze. Repeat. The end
Acting: They are all asleep. Me too (or counting the dollars are they say their lines)
Photography: Sleepy
Design: Fabulous hotel rooms.It might just keep you awake between Clooney/Pitt appearances.
Wardrobe: Ellen Barkin wear L’ Wren Scott’s new collection of pencil skirts and cardigans. Too many pointy shoes. George looks handsome. So does Brad.
Salon de Beaute: Love Ellen’s chic Bob. George looks handsome and slick. Al Pacino has had so many facelifts he looks like Joan Rivers.
Botox: Al Pacino has drunk gallons of it. You don’t need it; there is enough numbing in the acting and the plot.
Waterproof Mascara: You neither laugh nor cry. Apply Model Co’s Erase Those Fine Lines for plot confusion
Blood ’n’ Guts: There is more on Grey’s Anatomy
Mind drifted to shopping: When Clooney /Pitt not on screen.
Smokin’ smooches: There is more on Grey’s Anatomy
Car chases: Possibly when I was snoozing.
Re-name it: Overboard
Best Review: “ With Ocean’s Thirteen, the gang’s all here, looking fighting trim and Hollywood beautiful, at your disposable pleasure.” New York Times
"Ugly. Filmed through dirt” FilmsInReview.com
“All told, this thing has to be one of the dullest caper movies ever made” Seattle Post-Intelligencer
See it or donate to the Prada Bag fund: I love George. I love Prada bags more ( this week.) but “If This Pays For Another Darfur Benefit, Then So Be It.” Says Flak Magazine
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