The FiFi Report 157

Music and Lyrics ..Directed by someone who was asleep. Or in a coma. Or on drugs. Probably all 3.
Genre: Rom Com
Who: Drew Barrymore, Hugh Grant, Campbell Scott
The Plot: Old rock star/actor loses looks, sense of humour and all acting skills. Meets young girl who never had any acting skills in the beginning. She is a zany, wacky girl who comes to water his plants. They write a song. Why? Who knows? Who cares? It’s time to walk out of this nightmare. Don’t be fooled; the opening sequence is hilarious. Then it plummets to the lowest depths of movie making….the end
Acting: excruciating…No wonder Jemima sacked Hugh.
Photography: shocking
Design: awful
Wardrobe: tragic
Salon de Beaute: non existent
Botox: swallow it
Waterproof Mascara: Apply lashings; You will cry. You have wasted $10
Bloodnguts: It’s just gut wrenchingly horrible
Mind drifted to shopping: just before I walked out
Smokin’ smooches: the spark between Hugh and Drew was as sexy as the Pope (the dead one)
Car chases: It’s just me speeding away fleeing the cinema
Rename It: Dead Man walking
Best Worst Reviews: “ An underwhelming confection so conceptually lazy it’s a miracle the film has enough strength to make it through the projector” Boxoffice Magazine
“It says a lot about the film that the most positive things I can find to write are that Grant has a couple of decent lines and Barrymore has nice skin” The Times [UK]
“ Paper dolls have more depth” .Newark Star-Ledger
“ The leads show all the sexual understanding of strapping two cats together, throwing them in a tumble dryer, and expecting them to mate. When they kiss, it has all the romantic impact of watching Wildlife on One” .thelondonpaper
“Grant and Barrymore just don’t have the depth or chemistry to make you care. In short: flat like Milli Vanilli” BBC
“ If music be the food of love, Music and Lyrics is a recipe for indigestion” .Channel 4 Film
See it or donate to the Prada Bag fund? After walking out mid way through the film I raced home to bury my head in the exquisite beauty of my new Prada bag and inhale the smell of luxurious quality …
http://musicandlyrics.warnerbros.com/