The FiFi Report 155

Miss Potter ……directed by Chris Noonan ( Babe)
Genre: historical romantic drama
Who: Renée Zellweger, Emily Watson, Ewan McGregor, Lloyd Owen
The Plot: Set in late Victorian and Edwardian England. Old maid spinster of 32, Bridget Jones still lives at home (But you would if you had servants galore).Sits in her room painting and talking to animals. Peter Rabbit in particular. Mother tries to marry her off to ugly losers. Mother is mean to her. Father is sweet. She gets her books printed. Becomes a writing celebrity. Goes to rehab and flashes her Brazilian to all from a limo. Oh, sorry that was Britney. She finds love with the publisher played by Ewan McGregor. He is gorgeous. Wakes you up from the snooze you were having watching Renee. Her parents disapprove of her marrying him. Something bad happens.. She keeps talking to animals, her parents keep being horrid, she moves out. Keeps writing. Becomes very rich. Buys up lots of property. Meets a man. The end.
Acting: The movie is redeemed by excellent performances. Emily Watson is fantastic and is even fat with a double Chin. How very English. How not very Hollywood. “ McGregor, in particular, lights up the film, and in her scenes with him, when she is not forced to interact with watercolor rabbits, Zellweger seems to wake up from a long, cranky nap.”Los Angeles Times.
Design: lots of very chintzy Victorian homes and pretty English country house interiors. The sketches of Peter Rabbit coming alive and skipping off the page are just adorable.
Photography: divine shots of the English country side and the lakes district.
Wardrobe: Very Rochas, Chloe and Lanvin winter 2006. Puff sleeves, pretty cream blouses, bustles and cinched in waists.
Salon de Beaute: Renee looks so bad it’s intriguing. What’s with the makeup line that finishes at the jaw? I couldn’t take my eyes off her white neck compared to her ruddy face and terrible complexion. The eyebrows are thick, the face is puffy and her hair; My lord. Bad dye job and the thin and skanky. Yes, skanky is the word. Put it this way; she looked glamourous in Cold Mountain compared to this.
Botox:” Zellweger’s face has utterly frozen into a human version of a scrunchie, and appears as if it will shatter into 1,000 pieces if an honest smile were to break out.” Slant Magazine
Waterproof Mascara: Best to apply a lot. There are a few sad scenes. And if you don’t cry at those you will cry looking at Renee’s hair and makeup.
Bloodnguts: No, aren’t we happy about that?
Mind drifted to shopping: During the child hood flash backs.
Smokin’ smooches: Nothing. It’s PG.
Car chases. Nil
Rename It: “ Is a lot Like Love and Cold Mountain ” (starred Renee and Ewan as well)
Best Review: "Despite Noonan’s balancing social friction and fantasy, Miss Potter entrances and delights throughout. It’s a beautifully made fairy tale with roots in reality, and all the more satisfying as a result.” Detroit News
Best Worst Review: "The photography is as pretty as a Potter watercolor. The style is as stiff as one of her own tiny hardbound books. Half an hour in, and you start looking about in vain for Farmer MacGregor’s shotgun.” Newark Star-Ledger
Or "Watching this horrifically twee film is like having your face pushed into a bowl of pot-pourri for 90 minutes in a two-star B&B somewhere in Cumbria.” Observer [UK]
See it or donate to the Prada Bag fund? A very sweet enjoyable movie, it’s all very light, airy and romantic. Take the kiddies and tissues and then head to Prada afterwards for more intellectual stimulation.
http://www.misspottermovie.co.uk/