Trust The Man…written and directed by Bart Freundlich (Julianne Moore’s husband)
Genre: Romantic comedy that tries to be funny.
Who: David Duchovny, Julianne Moore, Billy Crudup. Maggie Gyllenhaal, Ellen Barkin, Garry Shandling. Eva Mendes.
The Plot: Manhattan 2005. One Couple: Famous actress married to spunky husband. She works. He is househusband. They are in love. She doesn’t like sex. Now they are out of love. They go to see a therapist. Played by Gary Shandling. That’s funny. Husband has affair. Joins sex addicts Anonymous. Finds himself. Throws wife red rose petals on stage. Has sex with her on a plane. The end. The other couple: He won’t commit. She wants a baby. Leaves him. Tries to publish book. Ellen Barkin appears for two minutes as lesbian Book editor. Oh please. He goes to therapy. Therapist leaves him too. So he marries her. The girlfriend, not Ellen Barkin. The end.
Acting: All good; David Duchovny is particularly handsome. Does that come under acting? The script and directing are excruciatingly bad. Which makes it awfully embarrassing for Julianne Moore because her husband is the director. And writer. ‘Crudup tends to act like he’s in Scary Movie 5, and every new scene with him makes you want to grind your teeth to pebbles’
Photography: Did not notice.
Design: It’s groovy, it’s modern, it’s New York. I see divine art on the walls gorgeous early 20th Century furniture; cool restaurants, fabulous funky lamps. We know that Julianne Moore has great taste. Just not in husbands.
Wardrobe: She has a Birkin bag, gorgeous coats and divine dresses. Very Prada with a bit of Marni and Marc Jacobs thrown in. He wears hoodies and cute jeans.
Salon de Beaute: Julianne Moore’s hair is too contrived in the curl department. She wears weird white eye shadow but she looks great.
Botox: You need it; this movie makes you frown and cringe. Badly. Julianne Moore’s character rubs her forehead and asks” Should I have botox?” Watch her as she tries to frown without any luck.
Waterproof mascara: 10 applications. You will be crying with embarrassment at all the dumb gags.
Mind drifted to shopping: through all the wet jokes and bad directing.
Smokin’ smooches: Would have vastly improved the movie.
Car chases: Ditto
Rename it: Castrate the Man
Best Review: There are no good reviews; and the bad reviews are much more interesting reading.
Best Worst Reviews: “Opening a film with a small child straining on a toilet and talking about poop isn’t just a bad idea; it’s an invitation to unfortunate metaphor.” New York Times
“Insufferably glib and blatantly contrived, Bart Freundlich’s Trust the Man is a witless, charm-free snore that manages to be puerile and condescending, often simultaneously.”Reel.com
“Trust the Man could easily carry the following subtitle: Men Who Behave Like Petulant, Spoiled Children and the Women Who Decide It’s Easier to Love Them As-Is Than To Try to Turn Them Into Grownups.” Chicago Tribune
“At one point Julianne Moore says to David Duchovny, ‘I feel stressed.’ She’s stressed because she’s trapped in a horrible movie!” tonymedley.com
“A romantic comedy by design, a form of torture in practice, and an atomic-strength antidote to the romantic impulse in effect.” Toronto Star
Tomatometer rating: 27% Good reviews on Rottentomatoes.com
See it or donate to the Prada Bag fund? Buy a huge oversized Prada bag big enough so you can climb in and watch Intolerable Cruelty with George Clooney over and over.
http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/trusttheman
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