The FiFi Report 090

Batman Begins…. directed by Christopher Nolan (‘Memento’)
The Plot: This brainless action film pretends to be dark and intelligent while probing the psychology behind Batman’s childhood. Made for dingbats. So how did I get there? For delicious Christian Bale that’s why. The first half is shoot ‘em up with lots of violence and special effects somewhere in Asia and the second half is shoot ‘em up with lots of violence in Gotham city. . Oh and Batman has to save Katie Holmes! Brilliant
Who: Christian Bale is Batman, Liam Neeson, Micheal Caine and Save Katie Homes
Acting: Christian Bale said his rubber suit was very uncomfortable but you’d never know. Liam Neeson wears a pointy beard and speaks. very slowly. With big pauses. So you think. he is. imparting. Wise and insightful. eastern philosophy, but he is. Just rabbiting on. about rubbish. Save Katie Holmes looks thoughtful and Michael Caine plays himself again. Blimey
Interiors: Dark but not very interesting. Tim Burton! Come back, We didn’t mean it about Planet of Apes, we love you.
Designer inspiration: Was there one? Oh yes Bats.
Salon de Beaute: Was there one? oh yes, a bat suit
Blood’n’ guts: It never stops. The scary monsters are really scary ( save Katie)
Car chases: They go on a bit long but the just keep your eyes on Brad and you should be OK. Oh, sorry that was last week. Ditto Christian Bale. NB: the Batmobile is embarrassing
Smokin’ smooches: not a spark. Thank the lord; I hate the smell of burning rubber.
Botox: Inject a huge dose to get through the explosions, car chases, fighting, and creepy monsters.
Number of times the F word is used: None but this is for kids. That’s why there’s so much violence. Where’s the Joker when you need him?
Best Review: “ The dialogue sounds as if it were written after taking a course in self-realization on Santa Monica Boulevard”: The New Yorker
When Harry met Sally romance Richter scale: Watch the TOMKAT show ( now that IS romantic)
See it or donate to the Prada bag fund? This movie is like a fake Prada bag on e bay: it looks cool at first glance but If you look carefully you can see the lining is wrong, the design isn’t right and it’s empty…
http://www2.warnerbros.com/batmanbegins/index.htm