The FiFi Report 085

The Upside of Anger:
The Plot: Thinner than any of the Olsen twins this is a dumb, wet, seriously badly directed and acted movie. So why is everyone is raving about it? Joan Allen plays an awful, mean, angry mother who has taken to the drink since husband has left her. (so what’s new?). You can see why he left. Her 4 daughters are just the same. Kevin Costner is the shonky honky next door neighbor who is so stupid he makes Jessica Simpson look like a brain surgeon. For some reason they get it together. It’s like ‘American Beauty’s third, lost, try hard cousin once removed..
Who: Joan Allen and Kevin Costner
Acting: Joan Allen has no comedic timing. (I should know), Kevin Costner is asleep.
Interiors: a shockingly huge suburban American house (no style, no taste )
Arty angles: tries to be American Beauty but fails..
Designer Inspiration: Neighbours
Salon de Beaute: nil rating
Blood’n’ guts: Give me the gun to kill them all
Car chases: would have made it more exciting
Smooches: yuk
Smokin’ smooches: I feel ill thinking about it
Botox; Yes please! Any injection is preferable to seeing this. You need a full on shot to stop the cringing.
When Harry met Sally romance Richter scale: minus 20
See it or donate to the Prada bag fund? It’s a 3 bag film! Buy a Prada, Gucci and Chloe bag. This movie makes Dumber and Dumber look like a masterpiece.
Rename it: the Downside of Happiness