“The Weekly World News says that terrorists have been working on a bomb that turns straight men gay. The Gay Bomb will detonate the instant a heterosexual male steps on one of the mines, releasing potent waves of the female hormone estrogen into the air. Within hours, heterosexual men will experience terrible urges like: “I’m dying to make out with my buddy in the next cubicle,” and “I wonder if I should redecorate the living room.”(Run! Look behind you!)” Gawker.
Naomi Campbell slapped her maid Millicent Burton. (That’s news? I thought the point of having servants is that you can beat them.) Cops were called, complaints were filed, and we’re thinking Pay-Per-View rematch ( Gawker)
A calamitous moment sure to quake the celeb-o-sphere: the aesthetically pleasing but completely retarded team of Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake have reportedly finalized their wedding plans, according to an array of second-rate and sometimes dubious news services. While we’re sure this union will result in a helicopter-adorned wedding and a nasty, immediate divorce, we can only hope that they find the time to squeeze out at least one untalented spawn destined for a life of insane wealth and emotional cripplehood (Gawker).
Madonna has demanded that a special “peace room” be built for her backstage at her UK gigs ( Confucious say: peace in head not in room).
Jennifer Aniston’s new film has shut down after just one week of shooting, because the director failed to get on with his cast. The romantic comedy, as yet unnamed, tells the story of a young woman (Aniston) who discovers that her grandmother, played by Shirley MacLaine, was the inspiration for the character of Mrs Robinson in The Graduate. (Shut it down. Run) Glamour.
An Olsen Twin walked past food without noticing.
Will Smith had to tape his willy to his leg for a shower scene in I Robot, because it is so big that it might otherwise have stolen the scene. One film worker told The Sun: “Will is blessed in the boxer short department. Even his leg couldn’t cover everything up, he had to be taped down” Glamour (not behind him).
Harpers Bazzaar takes a shot at Anna Wintour, the notoriously icy editrix of rival Vogue, in its September issue. For Candace Bushnell’s article, “Nice Vs. Ice: Which Gets You Further: Acting Friendly or Frosty?” the author poses in an unmistakably Wintour-like wig, red dress and devil’s pitchfork to illustrate the “ice” archetype. She also poses as a “nice” Princess Diana clone. NYP
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