- ‘Paris Hilton and Benji Madden have spotted recently wearing rings to let each other know they’re taken. Paris is rocking a "BM" ring because I guess Benji’s her little Bowel Movement. I don’t see what else it could mean. And Benji’s wearing a "PH" ring because, obviously, his Penis Hurts’..says The superficial.
- “Britney Spears, the ailing former pop mime artist, has taken out a restraining order on herself because she does not know what she is doing and has no control over herself anymore. Britney’s lawyers today were ordered by herself to put a restraining order on herself. Judge Al Mannington has agreed that Britney, who has no control of her finances or thought processes, should be restrained from being within 10 metres of herself. To date, Britney has put restraining orders on her mother, father, sisters, cousins, uncles, Sam Lutfink, Kevin Cheddarslime and her two kids”. Hilarious! Reports the satirical site Thedailysquib.
- Britney celebrates her restraining order on herself after leaving the court house yesterday (left).
- IMDB reports that "Sarah Jessica Parker narrowly escaped a soaking after a giant wave crashed onto the riverside set of a photo shoot for Vogue magazine. It wasn’t the first mishap to befall the photo shoot - Parker was being photographed by Leibovitz in New York last week when she tripped on red-carpeted stairs and fell over.
- Rachel Zoe: People Pay This Woman To Tell Them What To Wear …reports Jezebel
- “After winning a record £55 million from ‘chump’ Sir Paul McCartney, ex-porn model and the most hated person in the world, Lady Heather Mucca, is to escape Britain and live in Baghdad. The greedy stumptress is already planning her next marriage to the next sucker she can dupe, possibly a rich Arab” reports thedailysquib.
- Kate Hudson is officially not pregnant.
- Lisa Marie Presley officially is. ‘A British tabloid published photos of her and claimed her unhealthy diet was causing severe weight gain. An offspring of Elvis gaining weight in their later years? Would’ve thought?" says Thesuperfical.
- “Pete Doherty has been uncovered as a fraud. The pop singer, who has been masquerading as a drug addict and junkie, has been discovered to be hiding a terrible secret. On the outside Pete Doherty appears to be a crusty, smelly, drug-addled, talentless whiner with horrible teeth and greasy hair matted with oil and dandruff. With skin blemished with scars, acne, bruises from falling down and nostrils dotted with white specks of cocaine, Pete Doherty looks like a right royal mess. His arms are pockmarked with needle marks and his pallid flesh resembles an old man’s torso lying atop a cold hard mortuary slab. By looking at Pete Doherty’s druggy image the public would not be wrong in thinking that he only has two or three years left to live. This is where you are all wrong! For the past few years Peter Doherty has taken to donning a walloping amount of makeup each morning before he ventures from his so-called ‘drug den’.Makeup artist June Rimbaud has revealed that her job was to make Doherty look like a dishevelled junkie so that he could sell even more of his atrocious albums” reports the Daily Squib.
- George Clooney is definitely not marring his dumb girlfriend Sarah Larson.
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