It’s a quiet week for gossip so there is only one place to go to keep ourselves amused, highly amused: The Chaser “ In a series of world exclusives, NW magazine has revealed that Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have married, conceived, argued, attracted the jealousy of Jennifer Aniston and are facing a marriage on the rocks. The small wedding, attended only by a handful of close friends, elite wedding guests, colleagues, insiders, observers, onlookers, concerned onlookers, confidantes, acquaintances and sources was held in a Sydney church, prompting some to fear that Kidman will start a fad for the wacky Catholicism sect among other celebs. Dressed in her Balenciaga wedding dress was she hiding a tell-tale bump, a body that is too skinny, or cellulite? Rumours say it’s all three. While no destination has been confirmed for the honeymoon, NW speculates that they will be visiting Bora Bora, a Fijian resort, a Namibian fertility clinic, a discreet, up-market rehab centre and a secret ranch where celebrities hunt humans for sport. NW concluded by reporting that constant media speculation and intrusion are already putting strains on their marriage, leading to a likely split. “
‘Sir Paul McCartney’s divorce will cost him an arm and a leg. And he has hinted that Yoko Ono might share some of the blame for the break-up. In a wide-ranging statement, where he also defended the integrity of Anna Nicole Smith and Rose Hancock, McCartney insisted that his wife was not a gold-digger, and re-iterated that the couple’s split was amicable. “We still love each other, but were moving in different directions - I was moving into a smaller house, and she was moving into a bigger one. I will certainly miss Heather, and being able to park in a disabled-only parking spot.” She said “I am just going out to get legless”
Other boring gossip: Lil’ Kim has finally been sprung from prison.
Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock seems to be on-again. On each other.
Jen and Vince are planning a secret wedding. So secret we know about it. Yawn
Desperate Housewife Marcia Cross had a dream wedding except the groom’s phone rang in the middle of the vows. (The Clinic with his results?)
Chad Lowe’s “substance-abuse” problem was why Hilary Swank left him.
Breaking news;Jake Gyllenhaal was seen cycling with his shirt open. Thankyou.
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