In Honor of Victoria Beckham’s 38th Birthday, Here are 38 Photos of Her Not Smiling from Fashionista!

‘We always joke that we have this fabulously gorgeous 17-year-old model who is six-foot-whatever and then I say “OK, I’m going to put it on. I stand for the general public here”  Vicky B thinks she is normal and stands for the general public.

“It’s terrible and you almost can’t even look at it, but it has been driven by a great journalist, Anna Wintour, who wants all women to be like her and to dress the way she does.”  Roberto Cavalli chatting about American fashion. ( better than dressing in tacky Roberto Cavalli )

“Hi, I am here. I can read. Ok everyone thanks for the teen angst discussions. People are different sizes. I’m not trying to be thinspo for anyone [sic]. I am now making this acct private. Byyyyyeeee.” Alexa Chung responds to a photo she posted of herself with her mom on Instagram which many people commented on how thin and “unhealthy” she looked.

“Three weeks of no sound-no laughing, no coughing, no sneezing, nothing. He could write things down, and he would scribble away. You can still fight when someone can’t talk. When he disagreed with me, he would write, “This is unacceptable.” [Laughs.] Nicole Kidman talking about Keith Urban’s throat surgery and not speaking for 3 weeks. The Voice?

“Alexander McQueen once told me before I went out on the runway (I was wearing a dress that was very long and difficult to walk in, and I was concerned the dress was going to get caught on my shoe), ‘Don’t worry, Karlie; if it does, just take it off and throw it, throw the dress. Remember - YOU own the dress, the dress does not own you!’” model Karlie Kloss

“There’s really no logic. I observe and listen to women, and then I follow my heart and my guts. It’s not a factory. I’m not a chicken that lays an egg. I just try to seduce women into discovering something they want. Because if they don’t like it, they won’t wear it.” Peter Philips, Chanel’s creative director for makeup.

“I don’t understand. It was perfectly innocent. I just touch my cleavage once or something.” Madonna talks about commercial for her new perfume, Truth or Dare, which some TV stations in America refused to air.

“The seamstress that made the dress worked for three days and three nights on the dress, and after she finished, she was sick for three days. And you know, with the Oscars, you do the dress and you never know if they will wear it. I wanted so much for [Streep] to wear it, just for this woman that didn’t go to sleep for three days, and just put so much love into the dress.” Lanvin’s Alber Elbaz On the ecocertified dress that he designed for Meryl Streep to wear to the Oscars. Bless.

I’m thinking Autumn seems to be the perfect time to whip out a face scrub. Time to get rid of your old tired sun blasted skin. Here are the four of the best I’ve tried …

Jurlique Purely Age-Defying Refining Treatment exfoliant
They say:’ A completely natural skin-polishing refiner that gently removes dull, dead skin cells without irritation’.
FiFi says: This is one tough mama. It’s when you need to call in the troops. Works a dream. Smells like lavender. Is this a good thing? Skin feels very clean and tingly. Yes please to anything with age defying. Love it.
$42 from Jurlique.com.au

Clean and Clear morning burst shine control facial scrub
They say : ‘it wakes you up ( Made for teenagers!). It smoothes and exfoliates tired-looking skin for a healthy, radiant glow. The shine control formula, with lemongrass and fruit extracts, leaves your skin shine-free. BURSTING BEADS® quickly burst with energy and vitamins.’
FiFI says : It’s aimed at teenage girls (will it make me look younger?). It does have a burst of beads which is cute. The smell is a bit too manufactured. It supposed to be lemongrass and fruit extract. It works. Bless $11. woolworths

Aveeno Skin Brightening Daily Scrub
They say :’ This daily facial scrub helps improve skin tone, texture and clarity to reveal brighter, more radiant skin.It has moisture rich soy extracts and gentle microbeads. It reduces the appearance of blotchiness and discolouration.’
FiFi says: Love the idea of soy that’s brightening up my sun spots/freckle/blotchiness. Can’t say it has an immediate brightening affect but my skin looks glowing after using it ( but could have been due to seeing George Clooney). Smells lovely. It’s great mix of natural and affordable. Good for sensitive skin. A winner. $13.99 from Aveeno.

Olay Skin Smoothing Cream Scrub
They say: ‘A conditioning beta-hydroxy formula with microbeads cleanses skin deeply while gently exfoliating to rejuvenate skin, leaving it radiant and noticeably smooth.”
FiFi says: Fabulous. Not too hard and not too soft. Just how I like it. Smells good. Skin does feel smooth and soft. A great price for the quality. $13.olay.com.au

Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity ….by Katherine Boo

The hot book everyone is talking about..

‘Katherine Boo spent three years among the residents of the Annawadi slum, a sprawling, cockeyed settlement of more than 300 tin-roof huts and shacks in the shadow of Mumbai’s International Airport. From within this “sumpy plug of slum” Boo unearths stories both tragic and poignant–about residents’ efforts to raise families, earn a living, or simply survive. These unforgettable characters all nurture far-fetched dreams of a better life. As one boy tells his brother: “Everything around us is roses. And we’re like the s**t in between.” A New Yorker writer and recipient of a Pulitzer Prize and a MacArthur “Genius” grant, Boo’s writing is superb and the depth and courage of her reporting from this hidden world is astonishing. At times, it’s hard to believe this is nonfiction.’ –Neal Thompson

“[An] exquisitely accomplished first book. Novelists dream of defining characters this swiftly and beautifully, but Ms. Boo is not a novelist. She is one of those rare, deep-digging journalists who can make truth surpass fiction, a documentarian with a superb sense of human drama. She makes it very easy to forget that this book is the work of a reporter. …. Comparison to Dickens is not unwarranted.” Janet Maslin, The New York Times

“A jaw-dropping achievement, an instant classic of narrative nonfiction…Elle

“Extraordinary.”The New York Times Book Review

“Gripping…A brilliant novelistic narration.” Wall Street Journal

“Moving…. a humane, powerful and insightful book….A book of nonfiction so stellar it puts most novels to shame.” Boston Globe

“A mind-blowing read.”Redbook

“The most riveting Indian story since Slumdog Millionaire-except hers is true.”Marie Claire

“Extraordinary….moving….Like the best journeys, Boo’s book cracks open our preconceptions and constructs an abiding bridge-at once daunting and inspiring-to a world we would never otherwise recognize as our own.” National Geographic Traveler

“An unforgettable true story, meticulously researched with unblinking honesty….Pure, astonishing reportage with as unbiased a lens as possible.”Christian Science Monitor

$17 Publisher: Random House (February 7, 2012) Amazon.com

Pioneers of the Possible: Celebrating Visionary Women of the World …by Angella M. Nazarian

‘Pioneers of the Possible honors twenty of the world’s most inspiring women, spanning the last century through today. From a business tycoon to an author, a dancer to a dreamer, a social activist to a spiritual leader, a painter, and even a bullfighter, each one was driven by passion and an ability to imagine and aspire to what did not yet exist. By celebrating these women, we carry on their collective fearless spirit and encourage one another toward greater and deeper lives. Profiles include: Martha Graham, Ella Fitzgerald, Frida Kahlo, Simone de Beauvoir, Wangari Maathai, Estee Lauder, Zaha Hadid, Helen Suzman, Jacqueline Novogratz, and many more..’

$29.70 Publisher: Assouline (February 22, 2012) Amazon.com

Here are the top ten buys of the week…

Unreal fur .
Oh la la : I was thrilled to find ‘Unreal fur’. A fab online faux fur store store and it looks great quality for great prices. You can choose the black vest for just $139 or go for the fabulous shaggy faux fur jacket in black or brown. It looks the coolest non?. There is even a fabulous scarf for $59. I have not seen the pieces in real life but they look pretty great in the photos online. You know how to wear this: with everything. As I have repeated on The FiFi Report a sleeveless vest is perfect for the Australian autumn/winter. Plus personally I look at fur faux vest and think that’s just a great muffin top cover up. Hallelujah ! And you can wear it to the dinner table ( unlike a heavy jacket that comes off and then you are stuck with said muffin area). Love over a simple long sleeve tee , a knit from J crew (see below) or over a silky shirt. If you do order anything from unreal fur let me know how you go. I thank you.

Country Road Longline Sleeveless Jacket
So speaking of vests I was very taken with this chic number from Country Road. For all the reasons above. It works in this trans-seasonal weather. A sleeveless jacket will give you structure and shape when your poor little body has none. Bless. Yes, you see it gives you a waist, wider shoulders and works as a cover up. But wait there’s more! If you have muffin thighs then it does appear to be the right length. But oh who cares about all that covering up : did I mention it’s THE chicest thing? It seems very inspired by Celine or Stella McCartney. This is a good thing. Perfect for the office. Divine over skinny jeans/pants/leather. Great tossed over a knit. Love it with a leather skirt. You get the picture? I would spend my money on this and not a winter coat. Your view may differ if you live in Melbourne or Wellington. It can get freezing there…$249.

alannahhill.com.au/
I was snooping around looking for pieces to put on mannequins at WBJ when I spied a fabulous leather skirt in Alannah Hill. It can get a bit too frou frou in here for me and waaay too young with waay too much colour. I get scared going it there. But I swooped on the sensational red leather skirt ( it sits on the knee: who Knew?!) and the divine black flirty leather skirt called ‘Ignore her today’ ( as if) It’s on sale too Was: $389.00 Now: $311.20 . You will pleased I won’t go on about leather because you read that 2 weeks ago in the FiFi Report. Tip: with heels and a short jacket. Just saying.

Witchery
Witchery is looking great at the moment. Get thee in there swiftly. I see many great pieces. My pick, as I have mentioned previously on The FiFi Report, is the leather Tee. You should also check out the fabulous wool biker jacket $299 ( very Isabel Marant) and the double collar jacket back (from last winter and still so right). I also love the cream asymmetrical crop sweater. A flattering cut it’s not too sloppy or too chunky. Wear with the leather skirt or red jeans. The idea is it sits on the waist so you want to wear your high waist skirt or pants so they meet in the middle. The midriff is back but I am officially ignoring that trend. I wonder why. P.S It’s in cotton which is perfect for right now. $99.

Zara
I nicked into Zara this week and saw soooo many great pieces.  I have heard a rumour that Zara is opening in Westfield Bondi Junction. Now that would be fabulous. This week I found 3 great pieces. I am having a love in with faux fur again this season so I was drawn like Joan Rivers to plastic surgery to the cream short sleeve faux fur jacket. It’s not in black. Which is making me cry. But I did love the cream and it’s another great piece for transeasonal dressing. This works over a tee and jeans or with a knit. $149. Another great number I just had to try on was the divine black crop military jacket. Adore.( Yes that’s moi taking a shot of myself as I shop.) It has gold buttons in a wool melton style fabric. FYI Military is huge trend next season. So chic, the collar is huge and that’s cool about it. $149. My other pick is the divine grey wool wrap coat. Very Celine. It’s quite fabulous but $449 I’m thinking that’s a little much for Zara. what do you think?

J crew
I am so jumping for joy that  J Crew is finally shipping to Australia. It’s the item du jour ! A fabulous online store. You want everything. You do. Great shots, great styling and models that you want to look like. That’s smart. I knew J crew was available on Net a porter but now you can go directly to the source.  I love and adore the faaaabulous knit wear section: My pick would be anything in the cashmere shop. Shut-the-front-door. It’s all drool worthy. The Cashmere short sleeve tee is a winner. Wear it under everything. Summer and winter. I am in love and want to marry it ( sorry George).Another pick is the ankle-zip toothpick jeans because after all I am the size of a tooth pick. Cough cough. $172. Love the colour. Also love the crop capri pants for $96 ( they are in a chic blue but the photo is in neon yellow so wear if you dare).

COACH CLASSIC LEATHER MADISON SATCHEL
I was hunting around on the Coach site and I was so excited to remember that I’d forgotten about the new coach classics collection. It’s the collection of heritage coach bags from the olden days. We’re talking the 70’s and 80’s. It’s perfectly in tune with the new minimalist aesthetic. We’re talking no logos or tricks. They are simply chicer than the some of the Coach bags which sometimes just look like a poor copycat cousin of Prada and Miu Miu .I love this fab every day bag. It’s very similar in shape to the cool Chloe Madeleine bag or the Vuitton Speedy. It’s a great size because it’s neither too big or small. The leather is great quality and it won’t be too delicate.It doesn’t have a shoulder strap which is a little annoying but I have been known to attach one from another bag. It was “originally introduced in 1986 and reissued in a limited edition.” It’s also in black but the tan is chic too. So Coach doesn’t ship to Australia? whatever! You know that’s never stopped me. Head to Priceusa who will ship it for you. It’s $358 plus shipping. Love.

Bassike
I love what Bassike are doing with basics ( not pun) and the more fashion pieces. In the basisc I do love the simple long sleeve raw edge Tee. It’s a great colour ( breaks up black , loves brown etc) and the neckline is very flattering, it sits just right around the collarbone. Perfect for rocking under all your sleeveless jackets and vest. see here. But my pick for a chic jacket has to be tweed boxy jacket. It’s got an easy style about it don’t you think? Glad you agree. I love it done up or undone. Talk about insouciant. So French. $450. They say it’s in green tweed but it’s not so obvious.

Ninewest heels
I am on mission to find a pair of pointy toe heels that I can shop and walk in all day. Trust me I never buy shoes that hurt. Honey, when I take clients shopping sometimes I walk for 5 hours. But I’m not giving up heels. Oh no. I don’t want patent. Over it. I will keep you posted on my hunt next week. In the meantime I am happy to report I have found these snazzy pointy toe heels in ninewest. I do declare I like the animal print but only in grey. It’s very Lanvin. They are on sale too. $99. The print shoe will add a little fun to my black and grey wardrobe. Now $99.

Lemon Grass Relish.

This is an oldie but a goodie.  I made this 10 years ago when I first started writing The FiFi Report. Yes, that long ago. Before anyone knew what a blog was….
George Clooney has been begging for it so I’ve pulled it out again. It’s quite simply sensational. Called a relish it’s actually more like a stir fry paste or chilli jam you can keep in the fridge and use as often as the Balenciaga…every day (even if it’s just to look at it). As you can see in the orginal recipe it was with roast pumpkin but I ditched that and just cooked up the lemongrass relish. I have no idea where the recipe was adulterated from…

Throw it on lamb fillet, dab a bit on a sandwich or stir fry it with chicken and bok choy or, hell, just go crazy and marinate some prawns with it and barbeque them… Sumpteuse!
The good news: it will take about 15 minutes and you can then keep it in the fridge.

You need for one jar :
5 cloves of garlic (No kissing after this one)
½ Spanish onion
2 or 3 lime leaves
1 large red chilli
¼ cup peeled and chopped ginger
2 or 3 stalks of lemon grass (peel the outside stuff away and the yukky end and then slice like a spring onion)
50ml Balsamic vinegar
30 ml fish sauce
25 ml light soy
½ cup lime juice
1 cup of caster sugar ( no wonder it taste so good!)
*you can use brown but it takes longer to dissolve.
Coriander to accessorising.

• Slip out of your wet weather gear. That would be your Burberry trench.
• Climb out of Jimmy Choo Hunter wellies.
• Shake out hair and say hello to the sun.
• Pour a huge glass of wine.
• Find a whizzer.
• Throw in the garlic, ginger, lime leaves, lemon grass, onion, chilli.
• Carefully using your finger press the button to whiz.
• Find a chic white bowl.
• Throw in the vinegar, fish sauce, soy sauce, lime juice and give it a stir.
• Another wine is required.
• Toss the sugar in a big saucepan and let it dissolve a little bit on low heat.
• Then throw in the whizzed up lemon grass goo in saucepan with sugar.
• Then pour in the vinegar lime juice mix too .
• Stir it for a while on low heat then turn up the heat and let it boil till it caramelizes a bit like jam.
• It should be cook on a low boil for about 10 mins so keep stirring so it doesn’t catch.
• It’s ready when it’s as thick as Kim Kardashian.
• Let it cool a little but don’t leave in the saucepan or you’re stuffed as it will stick on the sides.
• Pour in to a jar and let it really cool before you pop on the lid.
• TIP: To use it as a stir fry just marinate some pieces of chicken before you cook it.
• Fabulous !