Joan Rivers from The Fashion Police dishes on the red carpets at the Oscars…..

On Angelina Jolie.

“I’m sorry, I always think that Angelina is wonderful and gorgeous but that prosthetic leg ruined it for me; It’s a fake leg! And you can see it’s hers because here is the tattoo, written ‘Enter’ ( on the top of the thigh).”

“Have you ever seen anybody stand with their hand on a hip with a leg thrown out to open an envelope? No. and you want to say, you idiot! You brought us back to the fact and we’ve all forgotten that you used to wear blood around your neck and French kiss your brother!”

“She made Lea Michele look sincere,”.

“She isn’t even aware of Jennifer Aniston having a slit”

On Jennifer Lopez : She looks like a movie star anywhere… except in one of her movies.

On Stacy Keibler: “I love the gold color of the dress and I’m a bit sad for Stacy, since it’s the color of a wedding ring she’ll never get from him.”

On Rooney Mara:  “She looks like a dominatrix getting married”

On Rose Byrne: She looks like the love child of Anna Wintour and an eel.

On Gwyneth Paltrow: “If you convert to Christianity that is what you will see in front of you when you get to heaven”

See the hilarious shots of Angelina’s leg go viral here !

Saint Laurent Rive Gauche: Fashion Revolution [Hardcover] By Pierre Bergé (Author), Jéromine Savignon (Author)

A must buy! ‘Yves Saint Laurent was the first couture house to launch the modern concept of luxury ready-to-wear clothing with a collection called Rive Gauche in 1966. Exploring Laurent’s progressive approach to fashion, Saint Laurent Rive Gauche highlights the cultural impact of the brand, especially its influence on women during the late ’60s and ’70s. Rive Gauche revolutionized everyday pieces that were traditionally male-the shirt, blazer, and trouser suit-for the burgeoning female workforce.

With three insightful essays and an incredible array of visual material-drawings, articles, and photographs-the book celebrates the far-reaching legacy of Rive Gauche, one of the most significant fashion lines of the past 50 years.”

$22 Publisher: Harry N. Abrams (April 1, 2012) Amazon.com/

The Maid’s Tale: A Revealing Memoir of Life Below Stairs.. by Tom Quinn (Author)

The real story of Downton Abbey and what it’s like to live downstairs..”Born in 1910, Rose Plummer grew up in an East End slum; she knew at first hand a soot-blackened world, lit by candles and oil lamps, where you slept in your clothes - if you hadn’t already been sewn into them for the winter - and fought an unending battle with hunger and bed bugs.
At its best, life was lived on the bustling, noisy streets where fish sellers jostled with hurdy-gurdy men, organ grinders and street fighters; where children dodged between the wheels of horse-drawn carts and where money could still be made by mudlarks and the rag and bone man.
At the age of fifteen, Rose left the noise and squalor of Hoxton and started work as a live-in maid at a house in the West End. Despite the poverty of her childhood, nothing could have prepared her for the long hours, the backbreaking work and the harshness of this new world; a world in which servants were treated as if they were less than human.
It was a world in which Rose found herself working from six in the morning till nine at night in a house where the only unheated bedroom was the one she slept in. Here and in later, grander, houses Rose had to endure the strict hierarchy of the servants’ world where the maid was expected to put up with sex pests, deranged employers, verbal and even physical abuse. But however difficult life became, Rose found something to laugh about, and her remarkable spirit and gift for friendship shines through in her memories of a now-vanished world.”

£4.89 Publisher: Coronet (15 Sep 2011) Amazon.co.uk

The weather is horrible. But look at the positives: we can drool over winter clothes and actually imagine wearing them. This week it’s been great to get back into the shops and see lots of new and exciting pieces for the new season. Here are my top ten buys for the week.

David lawrence
A touch of fur whether faux or real is a MUST have for winter. Was all over the runways and in the front row (again) right now at the Milan/Paris shows.  I bought this little fur scarf last season and wore it just about every day. Loved it. It adds a little joosh for every day. It adds a little luxe to snazz up all your daggy old pieces that need some help to get through another season. Oh and it covers up the double chin. What more do you want? It works with jeans and a blazer or with a print dress. Yes, it’s too warm to right now but invest in this little number in navy or brown and you will love and adore when it does get cold. Navy and black is so right together. But you know that because I have been raving about mixing those colours for years. Years. $99

French Connection SHELBY STRIPE SKIRT
It’s the season of the skirt. You can’t have enough. Which means your outfits will expand because you will be using separates. Mixing it up. I love this skirt because it gets all the ticks. Pleating. A huge trend. Colour blocking. Tick. Longer length. Tick. A little sheer. Tick. Love this skirt with a tee, shirt and a blazer and cute sandals. Or try it later with a sweater. And short boots. Cool. This skirt rocks. Especially for $129.

Witchery black velvet blazer.
It’s the season of the knit - more about that later - but we still need a blazer. A black blazer.  It’s a pivotal piece in your wardrobe. What’s new about this one is that it’s a snug fit. I love the velvet: it’s about texture when you do black. I love the almost collarless neckline and the flattering cut will cut off inches. You gotta love that. Wear it over a shirt, ( HINT: the collar of shirt shuld sit inside the jacket unless you are a news reader. Please.). Wear this jacket tossed over a dress, or a stripe Tee or with jeans. This is a handy number that will work hard in your wardrobe.Bless it. Add colour later with your top, shoes, bags and scarves etc. $269

The bag of the week. YSL Cabas Chyc tote
So I am addicted to handbags. I should have a blog devoted entirely to handbags. My pick for the last couple of months - well since I first I laid eyes it last year- is this YSL bag. It’s great in red. It’s big enough for every day but not too oversized. Looks like you could toss it on your shoulder or in the crook of your arm. The shape is right. Not too much hardware and no logo except for that chic Y on the buckle. As I always say: if you can’t afford ( you can’t: It’s the price of a small car. Whatever.) then use it as inspiration and find one very similar in your price bracket. I want it. Sob. $1600 from Farfetch.

Trenery Leather camel skirt
This season is all about leather .  I have been banging on about it for seasons now so hopefully you would have invested in something last season. It’s also the season of the skirt too. So : leather  + skirt = a must have. I love this pale camel pencil skirt from Trenery. Talk about chic. Love the longer length, love the pale colour which will go with everything. Love this to wear right now with a white shirt or grey marle tee and chunky wedges. Love it in winter with a knit and boots. $299

Novo shoes:
I recently checked out Novo shoes to see if there were any cheap but chic buys. I swooped on these chic de la chic kitten heels. So your mother said always to buy expensive shoes. That was then:  (when inexpensive and chic shoes just were just not available.) Anyway we all would buy Prada if we could… in the meantime as you have bought the YSL bag I suggest lashing out on these fabulous $69 heels. Whaaaat? True. Love with a skinny crop pants and a flirty skirt. The fine elegant shoe is a coming back. You could walk in these without taking any nurofen. at least for an hour . $69.

3.1 Phillip Lim Boxy Textured Pullover Sweater
SO the sweater is the new blazer. That’s the news and you heard it here first. Yes, we love a blazer but there is a real street trend where the sweater is rocking big time. You want a sweater in a bright colour, that’s a little cropped, that’s has a bit of texture. The big look at moment? Wear it like it’s shown here: over a shirt. Huge trend. Then try with red or blue jeans or a cute leather skirt. I do love the 3.1 Philip Lim label and with the Aussie dollar it’s much more affordable. Especially on SHOPBOP where there is no shipping. Love this in white. DIVINE. $400.

Soother Ninewest stud loafers
The loafer is back and is about to replace the ballet flat as the flat shoe du jour.  Quite frankly I’m getting a little sick of ballet flats so when I clapped eyes on these cool stud loafers I was over joyed. I did a little dance and nearly fell off my wedges. Another reason for flats. Anyway why not have fun in the shoe department? These shoes will add a little edge to any of your boring outfits snoring in the back of your wardrobe. Just remember they look great with cropped pants. You could even throw them on with a leather flippy skirt. Go on : you can do it. $139

Country Road
The silhouttte for winter? It’s the skinny pants (in a colour) back with a big coat or sweater and chunky short boots. Check out Bill Cunninghams video here to get the scoop on the streets on New York.  Burgundy is the colour of the season. Love it back with red or orange. Love these pants with all your basic colours like black, brown or navy. The cut is tres flattering and the fabric is a little stiff (  double cloth) so they sit really well. Perfect to wear now and into winter. $129

SABA sequin tank
How many sequin tanks can you have? How many stripe tees can you have? Answer: Never enough.Update every season.  The shimmer shine and all things textural and glittery trend is still around for winter. (As I always say) it’s about dressing down the glitz so you should throw this tank back with cotton chinos, jeans or grey track opnts and heels. I kid you not. Anyway don’t be afraid of black. Especially when it’s a standout piece. And when you look at the trends coming down the runway in Milan and Paris this week you will see that those pesky pastels for next season are nowhere to be seen. The Goth is back!

Chicken and noodle salad with spicy sesame dressing…. adulterated from Smh.com.au

I’m always on the look out for new recipes which are easy but a little different. Neil Perry is the man. Every recipe I see is a winner.

You need to Serve 4 as part of a shared banquet or 34 models for a month.:

250ml shaoxing wine (Chinese rice wine)
3 cloves garlic, sliced
1 large knob ginger, peeled and sliced
1/2 bunch green (spring) onions, dark green ends only, plus 2 green onions, extra
250g skinless chicken breast (free-range or organic, if possible)
6 iceberg lettuce leaves, shredded
150g fresh egg noodles, blanched, refreshed and drained
2 tbsp chopped coriander

Spicy sesame dressing
1 tsp minced ginger
1 tsp minced garlic
3 tbsp thick soy sauce
1 tsp sugar
1/2 tbsp black vinegar
2 tsp sesame paste
1 tsp chilli powder
2 tbsp chilli oil (see hot tips below)
Method

• Slip out of your Burberry trench.
• Shake out your wet hair.
• Put away the Hunter wellies.
• Slip into Pucci Caftan.
• Pour a big fat wine.
• Gulp.
• Find a big pot or saucepan.
• Throw in the shaoxing wine, garlic, ginger, green onion ends and 1 litre of water over a high heat and bring to the boil.
• Toss in the chicken, reduce heat and simmer for 2 minutes.
• Then turn off the heat and let the chicken stand ( not in high heels so it’s Ok) for 20 minutes in the water.
• ( no Animals were hurt in this recipe (cough cough).
• Then remove the chicken and let it rest. Must be exhauted.
• Mix all the dressing ingredients in a chic bowl.
• Pour another wine.
• When the chicken has cooled slightly you can shred it by hand. Think of Stacey Keibler and you will be right. Shred it !
• Shred the remaining 2 green onions, both white and green parts.
• Now mix the lettuce, noodles and coriander in a bowl with 2/3 of the dressing.
• Place the noodle mixture in the middle of a large plate.
• Top with the chicken and pour the rest of the dressing over.
• Sprinkle the shredded green onions over the top.
• Yum.
• Hot tips To make your own chilli oil, lightly toast and seed 20 fresh chillies, then grind them in a spice grinder. Heat 2 cups of oil to 155°C and pour it on the chilli powder. Leave for 1 hour, then strain.