“I thought maybe there was a way to combine [bad behavior and charity]. I have offered to go to the south Sudan and have, like, a wardrobe malfunction. But it was pointed out to me that I’m 49, and that the consensus was that it’d be upsetting and kind of sad.” George Clooney, accepting his Bob Hope Humanitarian Award. Not sad George. Love to see your wardrobe malfunction…People.com.

“I Thought the Cocaine Was Gum” Paris Hilton’s explanation of white stuff in her bag. Well, she does chew on it..Brain malfuntion.

“I’ve never abused prescription drugs. I never have - never in my life. I have no desire to. I’ve admitted to the things that I’ve done - to, you know, dabbling in certain things and trying things” Lindsay Lohan chews gum too.

‘My boobs are crushing me. They are totally too big and it’s impossible to work out - they get in the way when I try to exercise. I have to wear two sports bras to run!’ Heidi Montag

“When I get injured it’s devastating because I know I won’t be able to wear heels. I’m practically in tears.” Serena Williams,

“One second ago I was the youngest person on the set, and now I’m the oldest. I don’t know how that happened. I’m so old, my joints hurt when I keep my legs crossed a certain way for too long…I can’t see far. I can’t see close.” Courteney Cox,

I lather my body in baby oil and cover my entire body with a shield of glitter. It’s really hard to get the glitter off. I’ve just given up. It’s in all my suitcases, it’s usually in my food, in my drinks. Sometimes when I pee, it’s in the toilet. I don’t know how it got there.” Ke$ha obviously chews alot of gum as well.

Need to rush out and buy a cheap but chic Father’s Day present?
Here are a few fabulous ideas…

• He thinks he is Superman: Kikki-k
• He loves cricket: Shop.abc.net.au
• He loves to eat : Simonjohnson
• He is out of rehab: T2tea.com
• He has a heart  Oxfamshop
• He is Mr. Gadget :Remogeneralstore.com
• He has everything : Worldvision.com.au

So Dad is extra special and you want to give him something luxurious? More fabulously chic ideas for the Man on Father’s Day…

• He loves to drink: Hic! Top3.com.au
• He loves to eat: Georgjensen.com
• He is a dapper dresser: Tiffany.com
• He think he is George Clooney: Hermes.com
• He is gay :Mecccacosmetica.

Love the Anna Wintour and Grace Coddington Dolls “In celebration of Fashion’s Night Out, Barneys commissioned create one-of-a-kind, hand-painted dolls. Tmagazine.

The world is all abuzz with news about the Lanvin x H&M collaboration. Yippee! Vogue.it

KATE MOSS and Topshop are over ! October will be Moss’ final full collection. Vogue.co.uk

Lady Gaga joins Marc Jacobs in lingerie as Statue of Liberty for the cover of V magazine…Think I am GaGa-ed out Vmagazine.com

Video: Kate Moss and Her Daughter Getting Nearly Mauled by Paparazzi at the Airport… Horrible! Nymag.com

Candy Pratts Price Has a New Gig at Vogue.com Twitter.com/WWD

Georgina Chapman gave birth to her first child, a girl named India Pearl Weinstein, “  “Let’s all hope she looks like Georgina.” Fashionista.com

“Sally Singer, the newly installed editor in chief of T: The New York Times Style Magazine has named Ethel Park, an associate fashion editor at Vogue and longtime assistant to Tonne Goodman, to the post of senior fashion editor at T. Joining Park will be Sara Moonves (daughter of CBS honcho Leslie and a former assistant to Vogue executive fashion editor Phyllis Posnick) and Vanessa Traina (daughter of Danielle Steel and a stylist who’s worked with Vogue contributing editor Marie-Amélie Sauvé), both of whom Singer has signed on as freelance fashion editors: The first issue will be the Holiday issue, out Dec. 5. ” can’t wait ! reports WWD.com

Fashion’s Most Influential Twitterers: Joe Zee , CoCo Rocha and The Moment are top 3: Fashionista.com

We’re not sure if this interests any of you at all, but apparently Calvin Klein has a 20-year old boyfriend who happens to have starred in some gay porn. reports Fashionista.com

Anna Wintour and Marc Jacobs appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to promote Fashion’s Night Out : Anna is so funny!  Says Gaga was praying for a message from God at the Met Ball to give her a time to go on stage…it’s a sign! Nymag.com

BONO and Ali Hewson are the latest stars to feature in Louis Vuitton’s Core Values campaign. Vogue.co.uk

Kate Hudson is on the cover of UK Elle : see the video here

Miranda Kerr is on the cover and topless in Italian Vogue’s new 3D issue: Oh la la ! Vogue.it…see the video Fashioncopious.

Lilo is on the cover of Vanity Fair:  says “If I were the alcoholic everyone says I am, then putting a [SCRAM] bracelet on would have ended me up in detox, in the emergency room ” She doth protest to much.Vanityfair.com

Does Paris Hilton Look Sorry - or Sarcastic - in Her Mugshots? People.com

Did Paris Hilton Post Picture of Cocaine Purse Before Arrest? is she that dumb? Yes! people.com

First good look at Miranda Kerr’s baby bump. She attributes her mutation in the genetic lottery as something she has done herself like eating organic food. Bless. We all eat it and do we ever look like that? ( her brain missed out on the insight gene). Hellomagazine.com

Did Anne Hathaway Chop Off Her Hair? usmagazine.com

Does Jessica Simpson Look Better Today or a Year Ago? U, er, gee that’s tricky to answer….Remind me: when did she look good? usmagazine.com

Heidi nose best? Plastic surgery junkie Heidi Montag says she now fears her nose may fall off..( her brain fell out so I am not surpised) Dailymail

Sandra Bullock calls her son  “little Cajun cookie” Pinkisthenewblog.com

Celine Dion - and the twin boys she is expecting in November - are just fine, thank you very much. People.com

Ashton Kutcher DENIES Cheating On Demi Moore Huffingtonpost.com

So suddenly Demi Moore poses for Twitter bikini pictures…funny about that Dailymail

Lindasy Lohan released from rehab, seen toting Birkin bag and Hermes belt while wearing long socks : Isn’t there anything Hermes can do to stop her ? Thesuperficial.com

Rihanna wore a stomach-baring top. Whatever.. popsugar.com

Heidi Klum gets it right grey marle and a maxi skirt…Popsugar.com

Hillary Duff gets it so wrong:Justjared

Freedom: A Novel by Jonathan Franzen
Amazon Best of the Month, August 2010:
“Freedom is Jonathan Franzen’s fourth novel, and, yes, his first in nine years since The Corrections. Happy to say, it’s very much a match for that great book, a wrenching, funny, and forgiving portrait of a Midwestern family (from St. Paul this time, rather than the fictional St. Jude). Patty and Walter Berglund find each other early: a pretty jock, focused on the court and a little lost off it, and a stolid budding lawyer, besotted with her and almost burdened by his integrity. They make a family and a life together, and, over time, slowly lose track of each other. Their stories align at times with Big Issues–among them mountaintop removal, war profiteering, and rock’n'roll–and in some ways can’t be separated from them, but what you remember most are the characters, whom you grow to love the way families often love each other: not for their charm or goodness, but because they have their reasons, and you know them.”
$32 Publisher: Harper Collins Sept, 2010 from Harpercollins.com.au

Matt Skinner’s Wine Guide 2011….By: Matt Skinner

A perfect Father’s Day present! Matt Skinner’s Wine Guide 2011 is a refreshingly new and comprehensive guide to 250 wines suitable for drinking or cellaring now, to suit all budgets and occasions. Whether your preferred drop is a fizz, pink, white red or sweet, a light, crisp and delicate wine or something more full-bodied, bestselling author, writer and wine educator Matt Skinner will make it easy to chose the right drop. In addition to tasting notes and clear photographs of every bottle recommended, he also highlights the top trends that readers will want to be aware of for the coming year, from eco and natural wines to low alcohol and low calorie wines. Awards for the bargain of the year, producer of the year, wine of the year and rising star of the industry provide excellent fodder for conversations over a glass of your personal favourite.
Format:  Paperback
$19.95 Published: 1st July 2010 from booktopia

Economy Class:

Sportsgirl:
Everything is very BoHo/hippy here: I don’t know what they’ll do when minimalism takes over… but it’s a fab, casual look that works for summer. In small doses…
My picks this week are:

• The ‘Hadley’ brown/tan biker jacket with exposed zips and a tighter slim cut: yes, we can all do with more leather jackets so why not go for choc brown? it’s always a chic colour and works so well with navy and black. Oh and over a floral dress too of course. leather is a big trendh for next winter again so you will get years of wear. Well, at least 2. $299
• Check out the tres cool grey, spliced rib pant with a drawstring and a slouchy, loose shape with rolled up hem: best to wear with heels and a jacket to snazzy it up: not for wearing with sandshoes unless you are going to the beach. Think about the contrasts: tailored with loose and you will get the look. $99
• We all need Khaki skinny panel combat pants this season but again watch out with these style of pants : You need to surround them with classics, like a blazer, to tone it down. Too many statement military pieces together and people will start saluting you. Aye Aye captain.  Could be good. $79
• In accessories how can you go past the camel heeled clogs for $79? We love a platform, makes it so easy to run, jump or skip into Prada. These are a fabulous cheap but chic buy. One season wonder but who cares? You can thrash them..
• If you can rock a higher heel then buy the chic camel suede lace-up peep toe wedges: THE shoe of season and this neutral works with everything, and I mean everything. That’s why it’s neutral. $149
• Love the cute crinkle cream canvas lady bag with brown pleather straps and detailing for an outrageous $59. Perfect for summer non?

French Connection:
Love the new ad campaign video ; it’s hilarious and tres amusante! ( was in The FiFi Report way back months ago but you can see it again here !
My picks this week are 3 classics: A trench, a black dress and a stripe top.

• There is a fabulous stone double breasted trench it’s called “Mister Magic trench !Yes, It’s my trench addiction again: obviously the trench rehab did nothing except make the desire stronger. How could I go past Mister Magic? You should buy this because it’s a little different in that the collar is mandarin, meaning it’s doesn’t have lapels and so sits quite high around the neck which is always flattering. It’s ‘double breasted, with tab and buckle detail at collar and cuffs, gold trim, and falls to below knee’ Excellent. $349
• We can never have enough dresses so try on the capped sleeve, draped jersey dress: it has a waistband, cowl neckline, and might be a little short for some. But you can do it. Just add heels. Love the shoulder details.
• Yes, we have seen enough stripe tops to sink a ship but wait! there’s more.. check out the stripe navy and white knit top, it has a boat neck 3/4 sleeves. Always a classic. They are never out of fashion but this season they are in big time. $119
• After some summer flats? Buy the silver and black T bar sandals here: Love a little metallic to add a little je ne sais quoi. $89
• You want the jelly white T bar sandals $49. So cute to wear to the beach and straight into the rock pools. Lover white sandals on tanned feet and neon orange nail polish.
• On sale: buy the pinstripe double breasted boyfriend jacket. it covers the hips, yes, even yours. now $149. Also buy the funky-do grey marle, long sleeved jersey crew neck biker jacket $59, or the deconstructed long sleeve knit dress ; it’s a light weight knit dress with long sleeves and colour blocking, fitted, finishes mid thigh…..now $59. This is a hot dress!

Witchery:
So much blush and nude in here : it’s making me , um, er, blush. It’s tricky to wear so just buy a few tops and a dress to work back with black and brown. You can’t be buying a whole new wardrobe in soft pink. Unless your name is Frou Frou.
My picks are:

• The blush/taupe drape front dress with a grosgrain ribbon belt: will be flattering on a lot of people. It’s silk Georgette with a V neck ruffle neckline and elasticized waist and gathered hemline. I can see some interesting shoulder epaulette/ stud detailing. Available in Nude and Black. A chic dress. $199
• Everyone needs a cotton Jersey Shirt Dress in their wardrobe this season. Groove it up with serious gladiators or statement heels and a few cuffs or scarves. You don’t want to look like you are in a uniform. This is an order. This will work with tan accessories. $129
• So you can see the military trend has gone crazy just in time for the Iraq war to end. Bless. Ha: The irony of life. You can feel relaxed about wearing the stretch Cotton Utility Skirt with ‘front pockets with stitching detail and soft wash hand feel.” Available in Washed Khaki and Black. A definite wardrobe basic $89
• Another wardrobe basic is the pintuck pocket pant with detailing on the inside knee. It has all the necessary exposed zip details as well…Great with heels, heels, heels and your fav crop trench or boyfriend blazer. You should buy the Black and Cement. $99
• Love the black flat sandals with the double ankle strap. They are not too tough and gladiator-ish and I like the silver metal buckles. Available in Latte. You can drink one while you wear one $99
• For a soft summer casual bag you must have a look at the leather ‘bucket’ style bag with adjustable shoulder strap. Cool $199.

Business class

Mimco;
Love the jewellery and the shoes here:
My picks are;

• The mad Kaleidoscope Choker with ” Mixed fancy acetate layered ellipses with silver plated brass domes are attached to gloss blackened steel curb chain and are attached with an oversized Mimco T&O clasp” Oh la la. $229 The statement necklace is still a hot little number for summer and will instantly update everything. Just remember FiFi’s golden rule: keep it simple and ditch all other jewellery. Too much and you look like Paris Hilton.God, NO!
• I see there is a limited edition necklace which is pretty amazing and standout. You know that when you wear it everyone will comment: this is a good thing. It’s a mad “combination of brass plated chain, chainmail, mixed plated curb chain, granulated discs, fang drop motifs, suede plaits, cowry shell and a knotted leather bib”. Fabulous with simple minimalist black structured pieces. With anything loose/Boho/hippy you could look like a ship wreck. This is not a good thing. $499
• Pendants are the big trend so how you could you go past the “pewter Skull crystal and chain tassel pendant? It has a “glass pearls, shell pearls and Czech faceted beads. Neck fastens with dual parrot clasp so neck is adjustable” Ha,  we love an adjustable neck! Mine could be longer. .$129
• In the shoe department buy the Shootie! It has cool chain detailing and a platform. You should grow to love a shootie: which, for all dags who don’t know, is a shoe/boot mix. Keep reading The FiFi Report for more exciting fashion translations. $349
• If you are sick of staggering around in heels but still want a fierce shoe then maybe slip on the flat cute little stud sling backs sandals. Will joosh up any old maxi dress $199.

Country Road:
Looking great here with the key fashion pieces in great fabrics for the price: There is a strong military utility theme but don’t go crazy.This is another order.
As I mentioned last week the online store is open and now Country Road has launched an new site called True Blue:
My picks this week are:

• I do love an easy sweater to throw on with a little more fashion edge like the black knit with a silver lurex trim: $99 The shoulders are extended and this would work with jeans as well as with this fabulous silky utility skirt seen here $129.
• If you are wanting a little print in your life then go for the cool blue and white print dress : it’s a great shape and easy to wear. Love the idea of black and navy together: Toss a black blazer over it and voila! $199. This will work with flats or heels because the dress has such a relaxed shape. You could layer it over a white tank. But you knew that.
• We can all do with a new black casual-throw-it-on-rush-out-the-door  dress! Love this black rushed jersey dress: it’s not too clinging and skims over the bits and pieces and almond crossants. Also I would wear it pulled it over or off the shoulder because that dreaded wide neckline won’t do anyone any favours over 35. Sorry. $129
• Love the grey marle short sleeve sweat $59 : it’s very Dries Van Noten and very Alexander Wang : Everyone’s doing it : Wear with a floral skirt or with the skinny cargoes here $129: ( which I have not seen in store yet but they look fabulous). Then when that trend is over you can it jogging.
• Please try and buy the new Billy black strappy heels: they have a small-ish kitten heel and the look is chic and not too dominatrix either. Which may disjointed some people. So put down those handcuffs…They are fabulous. $199. You can see them here below…

Wittner shoes;
I have been hunting for shoes this week and I checked out Wittner : I see quite a few fabulous painfree shoes to take you comfortably through summer ( without too many Nurofen Plus).
My picks are :

• The fabulous chunky, platform wedge sandal with black patent and brown straps: They seem very Marni inspired don’t you think? Love the idea that they are comfortable enough to run into Gucci but still stylish enough that they will allow you in the store. Brown and black means these shoes will work with everything. The chunky clog look means they are groovy. If you didn’t know. $169.95
• Love the multi lace up shootie bootie with a peep toe, square heel called ‘Mars.’ They are a little earth shattering . The ankle strap will hold you: I know from my own experience and scientific tests have proved these style of shoes are comfortable. Go for the pale suede for summer. Neutral like Switzerland. $169
• The other shoe that is very gladiator-ish but with a smallish heel is the “Bala”. They are pretty tough looking so great to wear with pants or a pretty dress. Or fabulous long, brown toned and skinny legs. Not sure where to buy those. $159
• For a chic heel with multi straps go for the “Marika’: With a wide strap going up the foot makes it a little more flattering and not so cankle biting and leg shortening. It tan or black it also has a heel that isn’t so high. $149
• But if you want more wedges that are almost horizontal and pain free then I suggest the simple T bar wedges called carnival: appropriate name because your feet will think it’s party time. Go for tan or black with a Givenchy style wedge heel $139.

Berry and Apple tray Bake ….adulterated from taste.com.au

This is a little delicious something to make on Father’s Day! You can make it with just only blueberries ( frozen is Ok ) and it’s fabulous.
You need for one family, or 6 Dads, 35 models.

300ml thickened cream, plus extra to accessorise
175g unsalted butter, chopped
3 eggs
2 cups (300g) plain flour
1 cup (220g) caster sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, thinly sliced, tossed with 2 tbs lemon juice ( or add another 150g to 200g of Blueberries instead of apples)
300g frozen mixed berries, thawed
Icing sugar, to dust
Blackberry or strawberry jam, to serve ( optional)

• Slip out of a Burberry shearling jacket.
• Take off long Vuitton gloves.
• Climb into Hermes cashmere leisure suit.
• Pour a wine or two.
• Preheat oven to 180°C.
• Lightly moisterise your face.
• Lightly moisterise and flour a 32 x 22cm baking tray.
• Bring cream and butter to just below boiling point in a pan over medium heat. Do not even think about a bikini/calories at this moment.
• Let it cool slightly before adding eggs or they will scramble.
• Now find the electric beaters, and toss in and beat eggs with sugar until as pale as an Hermes leather cuff and thick as Paris Hilton.
• Slowly beat in cream mixture.
• Sift in flour, then fold to combine it all with a metal spoon. Think folding Prada sweaters.
• Stir in the vanilla, apples and berries very gently.
• Then pour into baking tray.
• Bake for 40 minutes or until golden as a Chloe bag.
• Insert a skewer to check it comes out clean to make sure it’s cooked (but slightly undercooked makes it lovely and gooey.)
• Turn out onto chic white platter.
• Accessorize with icing sugar, jam if you so desire and extra cream to add even more cholesterol.
• Your Dad will love it.