“Is there any garment more hideous than this peaked shoulders nightmare by Giorgio Armani, made worse by the very dark, very high shoe boots on the end of those expensively aerobicised postpartum legs?” The Daily Mail on Gwyneth’s premiere outfit. Hideous? Wish I looked like that …People.com

“Sometimes I wish that Anna Wintour didn’t know I existed.” -Derek Blasberg from Style.com

“I came to New York originally in 1976, and then I got this part in Annie…I was a little girl, and for some reason they always invited the cast of Annie to Studio 54, so there I was at thirteen and fourteen, and the doorman would usher us in, literally underneath his arms. And it was 1977 in New York City, and you couldn’t be alive and not know the name Halston…Sarah Jessica Parker on Halston, in Vogue.

“Wanting to be a girl was my first impression in life…People who don’t know me sometimes call me ‘Mademoiselle’.” -Olivier Theyskens in the TimesUK. Or Annie?

“Well, my first reaction was I absolutely hate them. Ha! I have to say now, you’ve got to love them, I’m just a little old-fashioned and old. It takes me a little while to come around to it. I mean-I don’t like it if they sit in my seat. But I’m getting used to it. They’ve grown on me. Some of them hang out at Vogue and stuff, so when you get to know them, at the end of the day, they are people, and then it’s OK. It’s when they’re not people that you don’t like them so much, when they’re strangers with cameras.” US Vogue’s Grace Coddington about bloggers.

“Models, by nature, are not supposed to look like you and me. They are exemplary. They have bone structure and height and lengths of leg that normal people don’t have. But you want that to be based on genes, and if they’re adults, you want that to be based on adults who take care of themselves. I think if you send out an army of robotic 14-year-old children dressed up in their mom’s clothes, I think the reality is that it’s a turnoff, unless you are in fact a robotic 14-year-old. Women say: ‘Well. wait a sec, I wear a bra. I have to go to the office. Where are clothes that I can actually wear? ” Micheal Kors  Huffingtonpost.com

What: Cat Eye sunglasses (Karen Walker !)
Why: Because they are the hot shape for the season. Because we are over seeing the aviator and Rayban shape everywhere. Because they look new. Because they will instantly update your wardrobe. Because they make your face look younger. Because don’t these Cat Eye look fabulous on Taylor Tomasi ?. Because we can’t afford the Giles sunglasses seen here on The FiFi Report 277
Where: US$170eyegoodies.com and Karenwalkereyewear.

It’s Time magazine: The Most Influential People of 2010. GAGA is one of them. See the video here at Time.com…Marc Jacobs is the only designer that’s included but Model Liya Kebede made the list and Tom Ford interviewed her..
Oh please no,  it can’t be GAGA saying she is spiritual? Is this a satire? Nymag.com/

THE inquest in to the death of Alexander McQueen was closed today by the coroner, who confirmed that the designer had “killed himself while the balance of his mind was disturbed” Bless. Vogue.co.uk

Have Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone split? Fashionologie.com

CHANEL is coming to Saint-Tropez. The fashion house is heading to the sunny climes of the southeastern French hot spot to present its cruise collection on May 11Vogue.co.uk

Models Continue To Book Campaigns Over Celebrities  WWD.com

Check out this cool video of Miu Miu collection by another magazine ( the Autumn/Winter 2010 show in Avenue Foch in Paris.) Fashionista and check out the Miu Miu video of the show here

Welcome To The Hotel Armani ..Style.com

Giorgio Armani isn’t the only designer to befriend Martin Scorsese. Now Gucci’s Frida Giannini is getting into the act and at the Cannes Film Festival on May 15 will co host a dinner with Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter at the Hotel Du Cap to honor Scorsese and his Film Foundation WWD.com

Supermodels Without Makeup: Louis Vuitton Cast Shots Revealed … Love magazine recently posted this picture of Louis Vuitton’s Fall-Winter 2010 show cast, featuring its 50 or so models (including Elle Macpherson, Lara Stone and Coco Rocha) without makeup….but you can see Elle has makeup on. ..please explain. Huffingtonpost.com

Ksubi’s Content To Let The Good Times Roll.. Style.com

T Magazine’s Women’s Fashion Summer 2010 issue is out with Rebecca hall on the cover Nytimes.com

Jennifer Aniston chats about her new perfume..in Harpers Bazaar UK Harpersbazaar.co.uk

Fergie Ferg on the cover of US Elle “”I’m not going to lie: There are times I play mind tricks on myself, like that the french fries are poison. With desserts, I’ll let myself have just one bite, but I’ll look like a freak when I’m eating it Elle.com

Louisvuitton.com/TheJourneyOfaWardrobe

Love this new interactive site from Louis Vuitton: The journey of a wardrobe.
Vuitton has asked Todd Selby to illustrate the “Journey of a Man’s Wardrobe.” It opens with a turning globe , and a cute old fashioned envelope opens up when you pick your destination. But looks like Australia and Sydney are in the dark. So pick Paris of course! Then a cute map of Paris opens up and you can click to choose a fashion show, the studio, the stores, the workshop and the family home. Love it. Very clever and personal.

Sandra Bullock has been quietly keeping a joyful secret - his name is Louis, and he is her newborn son People.com

George Clooney reacts to news the Italian navy was called in to recover unexploded World War II-era bombs discovered near the actor’s Lake Como house. “This is not the first bomb I’ve experienced.” People.com

Naomi Campbell was on her best behaviour during a visit to Opray; : she signed a No phone throwing clause wwd.com

Christie Brinkley Face-Lift: Before & After Huffingtonpost.com

Christina Aguilera and Lady Gaga Have the Same Latex Outfit Nymag.com

Naomi Watts on Her Latest Film, Mother and Child Fashion.elle.com

Anger gives another performance kissing her children on a balcony in Venice USmagazine.com

Heidi and Spencer Pratt Named Time’s Least Influential People…The MTV reality stars were named to the mag’s “moron” category. what? Are they morons? I thought they were dumber than that.. usmagazine.

Ancient Persia was one hot place. From his summer action movie Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, Jake Gyllenhaal shows off a seriously buff bod.People.com

Island Beneath the Sea: A Novel [Hardcover] …by Isabel Allende
Allende, an entrancing and astute storyteller cherished the world over, returns to historical fiction to portray another resilient woman whose life embodies the complex forces at work in the bloody forging of the New World.  Zarité, called Tété, is born into slavery in the colony of Saint-Domingue, where enslaved Africans are worked to death by the thousands, and European men prey on women of color. So it is with Tété and her “master,” the deeply conflicted plantation owner Toulouse Valmorain, who relies on her for everything from coerced sex to caring for his demented first wife, his legitimate son, and their off-the-record daughter. When the slave uprising that gives birth to the free black republic of Haiti erupts, Toulouse, Tété, and the children flee to Cuba, then to New Orleans.

In a many-faceted plot, Allende animates irresistible characters authentic in their emotional turmoil and pragmatic adaptability. She also captures the racial, sexual, and entrepreneurial dynamics of each society in sensuous detail while masterfully dramatizing the psychic wounds of slavery. Sexually explicit, Allende is grace incarnate in her evocations of the spiritual energy that still sustains the beleaguered people of Haiti and New Orleans. Demand will be high for this transporting, remarkably topical novel of men and women of courage risking all for liberty
$17 Publisher: Harper; 1 edition (April 27, 2010) Amazon.com

Juergen Teller: Zimmermann ….by Juergen Teller
Reminiscent of his earlier monograph More, Juergen Teller’s new photographic series, Zimmermann, documents supermodel Raquel Zimmermann participating in family events and interacting with Teller’s native environment in Bubenreuth, Southern Germany. Holding true to his signature snapshot aesthetic while nonetheless managing to construct what he describes as a “surreal fairy tale,” the German-born photographer captures Zimmermann-in a state of seeming abandon, in the woods or lying semi-nude on the family table, as though a sacrificial offering as part of some Bavarian feast. A narrative akin in style to a gothic and dramatic Grimm’s fairy tale, this story explores the themes of suppressed youth and teenage longing. Teller, one of the most influential fashion photographers working today, shoots in a deliberately overexposed style that endows this project with his characteristic raw look.
$40 Publisher: Steidl (May 31, 2010) Amazon.com

Please relax. After all the amazing feedback from last week : emails, comments, and twitters - Thank you - The FiFi Fashion Report is back where you all love it.
Please keep the comments coming. Tell me if you find something you love. Share with us when you try something on that you’ve read in The FiFi Report. Share with us what you bought.  It’s fantastic to get the feedback and find out what you love and what you loathe. Let me know what you want to see more of in The FiFi Report (Apart from a black Amex and George Clooney). More First class, Business or Economy? More work wear or weekend wear? More hot pink? ( Never!). More jokes, more pictures? More places to shop online? The FiFi Report subscribers are what keep me out there shopping….Someone has to do it.
Enjoy the weekend of shopping.

Economy Class
Sportsgirl
I love to nick in here and see what’s going on. Ok, most of things I am not going to wear ( my legs always complain) but I am not age-ist so I am always on the hunt for cool things at a price.
My picks are:

• The fabulous grey wool peacoat…I know. I know it’s another peacoat but it’s the coat of the season and this is a fabulous buy for the price. It chic and looks expensive. You will love this. $149
• Everyone needs a black and white stripe Tee although the one I see here may be a little cropped. (Yes, the crop tee is coming back and I am running so far from that look). This knit tee is a cool black with a white stripe but the top half is black. Wear this under the grey peacoat or under your fav sharp shoulder jacket and skinny jeans a la Emmanuel Alt from Paris Vogue. $49.
• Love, love the very Petit Bateau red and cream stripe long sleeve Tee (Also in navy and cream) about $39. See instructions on how to wear it above.
• Buy the fabulous black and white Lanvin animal print/spot, long sleeve blouse. It has big puff shoulders, which we love, and thin little sleeves. The blouse is perfect for wearing in trans-seasonal weather. i.e. Right Now . It’s been in store for a month or so. If you are going to wear print stick to a blouse and ignore any print on the bottom of the body. Are you insane? Who wants to draw attention to that part of the body? ( answer; Elle Macpherson).$129
• There is a very chic tailored blazer; very eighties and double breasted with 2 low buttons. If could be scary if you can remember those. But then it’s a cool shape and very flattering. It’s a wool gabardine. Classic. Will look fabulous with jeans.
• And I see the very same jacket I have already seen in Target. Mmm. Tres interesting. Must be a Marc Jacobs. It’s the black twill military jacket with a round neckline, double breasted, black buttons, epaulettes and it’s cut away with a split at the front. It even has the same 3 strips of panels at the back. $169.A great jacket so it’s OK to be inspired by Marc. It means they copied the right thing. Bless. Wear with the stripe tee and peg legs pants.
• I must mention the fabulous wedge suede ankle boots: fabulous. $159. A must buy.By the way the jeweled Prada style neck pieces are on sale for $19.

Target:
Well, all I can say if you don’t go you will never know: On a Budget? Want to spend money on fabulous sunglasses instead of a winter coat? Here’s the choice: You will wear one of them all year , the other for just 3 months in Sydney. If you are lucky. So I suggest you head here to Target and buy the wool melton peacoat
Best buys are:

• The chic grey marle single breasted unlined blazer: well I never…Target is on trend for sure. Lash out and buy this one for an outrageous $49. Toss over a stripe Tee, a simple V neck Tee and with jeans. A great look. Roll up the sleeves, that’s the trick to the look. Add a scarf. Voila.
• Buy the grey military peacoat: it’s cool with epaulettes and grey buttons. I think this one has a detachable hood. So perfect if you venture somewhere cold. As you know I am a big believer in The Peacoat for Australian winters. Toss it with jeans and for work. Some are long enough to even cover your droopy bottom. The thing is that sometimes you want to wear skinny jeans but your butt is not looking as fabulous as you would like. Which means you are fine as long as you don’t take off your jacket (And reveal the muffin bottom).This is where a long peacoat comes into action. You get the coverage without having to wear a long coat. $79
• Love the black or grey wool melton classic peacoat. I think it’s in wool twill but hey who cares? I might have been confused in Target (It’s that smell of plastic that can overwhelm and disorientate you) but I think some of the peacoats are on sale for $35. What?!! Unless they were on the wrong rack. In that case they are $79. I think the quality is fine. I mean what do you want for $79? When you take it out of the shop it always looks different in daylight.
• OK, while you are there you should buy the military twill coat: it’s amazing ( I am sure I saw the exact same one in a designer store. I think Sportsgirl). This is collarless with black buttons, and a cut away military split in the front, and epaulettes with cute tailoring. It has 3 bits /panels across the back. $79 or $35? It’s a winner. Wear with the long stripe Tee $49.
• I think Target missed the memo about coats in camel (who would possibly wear a purple coat unless it’s Lanvin?) but that’s Ok you can get one in Witchery or Marcs. Here there are racks of wool melton coats as well as moleskin style car coats about $79.
• If you a country girl or a horse-y girl or someone who gets out of heels then buy the puffa jackets here which are long and not so fashion but do cover the bottom. Just the thing for horse shows and cold winter days. You do remember them don’t you? $69. Wear with animal print gumboots…about $50
• I am not sure about the shoes here but I do see very Vuitton style heels from a couple of seasons ago about $46. But you know what your mother said about cheap shoes…

Esprit:  ( sorry : there are no photos as the Esprit site is not geared to Australia)
I nicked in here because I was looking to find an easy weekend style blazer. And I did. Best buys are:

• The black fine cord blazer of course. Now don’t turn up your nose saying I hate corduroy: it’s not like that Academic lecturers wear (that wide corduroy), this is more like velvet. Anyway it’s just a great handy little number you can wear on the weekends and feel a little fashion. It has an easy, relaxed shape but not too voluminous. So that makes it flattering. No, it doesn’t have outrageous shoulder pads. Wear with jean, chinos or over a dress. $149.
• Buy the Khaki military jacket. It’s cool. It has a rib cotton, standup high collar and patch pockets at the front with a belt and rollup ribbed sleeves. Ok yes, also in black but you know the khaki colour and the cargo military is THE piece of the season. Khaki is great over any colour in your wardrobe. That is why it’s a neutral. Like Switzerland. Toss this over a pretty dress or a sequin top. Or with a pencil skirt. Please don’t wear it with biker boot sunless your name is Alexa Chung and have legs up to THERE. You will just look like a train spotter. $149.
• Love the grey chinos here. A good dark grey cotton: A classic cut but the idea is you roll up the hem and show off the very expensive shoes you just bought. $79. Turning up the hem will add instant cool to any pants like this. As will any faaabulous platforms. These are really the kind of pants that are basics. Not a fashion pant that everyone will be oohing and ahhing. No, no one will notice these. This is good.
• Love the grey faded denim fitted jacket that has a few wrinkles it. Please don’t rub your crème de la Mer on it or try to iron: the wrinkles are supposed to be there. It will look fabulous done up with a pencil skirt and a stripe Tee and then a mad red bag and jeweled necklace. Heels. Darling. Don’t forget the heels.

Business Class
Trenery
Always good here for classics : it’s for the over 40’s and that means the sizing is big.Which is great if you are over a size 12 but no good if you are a little tiny thing.  The prices are great, I must say, for the quality. My picks are:

• Check out the Moleskin camel peacoat $299. It’s an easy shape and not too heavy. Love a neutral , works so well back with black and brown and a dash of red.
• Love the choc brown round neck leather jacket : very chic and a gorgeous rich colour. It’s shorter with an elastic hem like a bomber jacket but not too busy with all crappy zips everywhere. About $699.
• I see some drawstring cotton viscose pants that are pretending to be harem pants but I am not so sure: They have the drawstring waist and have a baggy look but I don’t know if they are so fashion. Might be good if you roll up and then wear with stomp-a-licious heels. $149
• Please buy my favorite grey wool sheath dress. It’s been in store for a while but it’s a winner . Why? Because it does not a wide scoop neckline that makes anyone over 40 look 102. The neckline on this dress is the perfect low crew. It’s sleeveless and knee length and will look fabulous with black opaques and vertiginous heels. Please shut up about covering your arms. Throw on a leather jacket and don’t wave to anyone. You should be fine.
• There is another dress I quite like: it’s in a grey wool jersey with a V neck and a drape and looks scary with a low waist. Don’t be scared: quite often the low drop waist is flattering. And skims over the bad bits and left over Anzac biscuits $129. It’s here in watermelon but please buy the grey. There is also a chic black velvet long sleeve, straight dress with a wide boat neck and a grosgrain ribbon belt. This will look fabulous with a big fat jewel necklace. And heels. Mais oui.

Zimmerman:
You want a dress? Then head here. My picks are

• The black shatter cage dress with sleeves that have see through cage splice detailing : It’s short but a fabulous dress $595.
• Love the black and white print shatter glass print dress: it has vertical layered frills and an asymmetrical hem $475. Also in a wrap shape that looks a little longer so you get some fat thigh/knee coverage.
• You should try on the blue or black silk swing dress with the spaghetti crisscross detailing at the front. Wear all of these dresses with black opaques and heels. You can throw a blazer over any of them. All perfect for trans seasonal dressing. I want it to get cold so I can wear my winter clothes. I think I will vomit if wear any of my summer clothes ever again. Over it.
• Also check out the poncho in a lightweight wool for $295.I see it’s in a soft pink but hopefully it will come in other colours. You might look like a round ball of pink. Maybe wear with camel and taupe and you should be fine.
• I want the distressed leather lace up peeptoe ankle boots : fabulous. Wear with harem pants, jeans or with a flirty skirt. $395

Marcs;
Looking so much more fashion than it has been here for a while. I mean it’s tricky to make classics look desirable and new don’t you think? My picks are:

• The fabulous camel wool melton peacoat. It’s a winner : Double breasted with 6 tortoiseshell buttons it looks like it’s a long line peacoat $299. As I mentioned weeks ago ( in Item du jour) this season it’s all about the camel coat. It tones down horrible animal print ( if you must but only if it’s Dolce Gabbana) and looks fabulous of course with black, navy and cream. Don’t go near babies, puppies or cooking when wearing camel and you will be fine. Love camel with denim. Oh my lord it’s so 90’s.
• Check out the beige cotton sateen, very Burberry style short military jacket with a high collar. It’s double breasted and very fitted with silver buttons. I would wear this done up which I don’t normally do but it will suck you in like that. $259. Love with a flirty skirt or with baggy pants.
• There is a cool grey leather zip front hoodie $599. Wear with jeans, of course, but to joosh it up try it with a pencil skirt or harem pants and heels. Always mix it up. The relaxed leather hoodie or leather wrap jacket with a serious sexy dress or throw it over a sequin tank.
• I am sad that I don’t see my fav stripe Tee here anymore. It was the best because it was cut straight across on the neckline and not wide and scoopy and ugly that most Tees seem to be. Anyway they have scoop stripe tees here so I kept walking and checked out the V neck Tees, very Vanessa Bruno, but go past the purple and try on the black $29. I think that’s the price.
• Buy the black cotton waiters jacket with short ¾ sleeves and a stripe lining. Turned up of course. I think this is the updated version of the longer Boyfriend jacket : it’s double breasted with 2 low buttons. Again will look great with a flirty skirt, jeans and over a dress. A great buy $249. Wear over the blue boyfriend shirt: so very Chloe. $149.

Cambodian Style fish Poached in Coconut Milk…. adulterated from Kylie Kwong’s new book ‘ It Tastes Better’ from Penguin or order from Borders.

Easy to whip up this fish dish is quite the perfect dinner for cooler autumn days. You whiz up all the spices together to make a paste , add the coconut milk and then poach the fish in the sauce. Simple.Serve with rice.

You need for about 2 - 4 people as part of shared meal or for 2 hungry fashionista or 30 models

3 garlic cloves
1 small red onion
3 cm piece of Galangal or ginger
2 lemongrass stalks
½ teasp turmeric
1 teasp paprika
2 tabs fish sauce
1 tabs brown sugar
1 can 400 ml coconut milk
4 kaffir lime leaves
450g white fish like ling or flake cut into 2 cm chunks
Juice of a lemon

• Pour a wine: it’s Friday! Woo Hoo. We made it !
• Then you can pull off the Chloe wedges.
• Throw on your cashmere poncho.
• And cashmere leggings.
• Toss on new Karen Walker sunglasses.
• Reapply waterproof Mascara.
• Now don’t cry as you roughly chop the onion : it won’t hurt, it likes it rough
• Peel the ginger and chop a little bit.
• Peel and chop the garlic.
• Trim and finely slice the lemongrass stalks.
• Pour another wine or two. Hic.
• Chop up the fish into chunks. Not too small or it will fall apart. ( which is what you did when you saw the latest Celine bag).
• Find the whizzer.
• Toss in the garlic, onion, ginger, lemongrass, turmeric, paprika, fish sauce and brown sugar.
• Whizz it all and blend till it’s seriously as smooth as a Crème de la Mer face mask. Tip: don’t put this on your face.
• Pour in the naughty but nice coconut milk and whizz again until it’s blended and completely mushed up.
• Now pour that lovely coconut curry sauce in a heavy based saucepan.
• Grab the Kaffir lime leaves and crush in your manicured hand to release the aroma. Hopefully your Chanel 5 won’t over power it.
• Toss the lime leaves in the pan too.
• Bring it to the boil then reduce it to a simmer. Just so it’s a little angry but not furious.
• Cook it for about ten mins so that all the flavours relax and infuse together like a Pucci dress. You want the liquid to reduce from size 12 to about a size 8
• Smells divine!
• Cook the rice now don’t you think?
• Now toss in the fish chunks (In the curry not the rice) and poach gently ( so it stays tender) for about 5 mins.
• Keep an eye on it because there is nothing worse than tough over cooked fish. (Except pink and animal print. Together.)
• Stir in the lemon juice to add a little tang.
• Serve Toute suite with rice and accessorized more slithers of lime leaves and a sprig of chic coriander.
• Tip: You could stir in some snow peas at the last minute.
• Yum.