They made us laugh… they made us cry… The best celebrity quotes of 2009!

• “Fashion is ze most important und lifesaving of all ze sciences.” Brüno
• “I’ve had to declare jihad on Haagen-Dazs.” Brüno, on his muffin bottom .
• “I never worry about fat people worrying about skinny people.” Eileen Ford from Ford Models
• “Do you want lunch?” “No I’ve had 2 Nurofen tablets, I’m full.” Grazia Australia
• “I think one of the reasons that fashion editors and fashion people have reputations for being so mean is because their feet are killing them all the time. They’re just irritable because of that, even though they all swear up and down, ‘Manolos are really comfortable!’” T editor Alix Browne
• “I never go out in something that I am uncomfortable in, well, except shoes, and they’re torture.” Diane Von Furstenberg
• “Thing is, people look much better naked. They’re all the same colour and they can’t screw up. You see someone at the gym and they look great. Then they put on their clothes.” Tom Ford
• “I think I’m going to have a dinner party where no one speaks. I’ll give all my guests pens and pads instead of the usual dinner conversation.” Karl Lagerfeld
• N is for Naomi Campbell: “She’s amazing — 20 years in ze business und all the pressure und fame hasn’t changed her a bit. She’s remained a total b****.” Brüno
• “The problem with the French is that they don’t have a word for entrepreneur.” George Bush
• “The sex is still awesome… [But] he might not know it because my face is frozen.” Jenny McCarthy referring to her boyfriend Jim Carrey.

It’s FiFi’s Christmas Gift Guide Spectacular!
Need help with your Christmas shopping? Your gift list starts here…

Check out all the fabulous photos on FiFi’s Favourite Finds!

Toxic Teenager.
Economy: Christmas Conversation Starter Kit $14.95 from kikki-K.
Luxe: Kate Spade ‘Manners’. (See what she has to say about everything from air kissing to mobile phone use.) $35 from Papier D’amour.

Boring Brainiac.
Economy: Scrabble Scorepad Wallet $19.95 from Hobbyco.
Luxe: Playmate: Six Decades Of Centerfolds $56 from Borders.

Hypochondriac Monster-in-Law.
Economy: A Bottle of Universal Placebos (It’s what we believe that counts.) $16.50 from Remo General Store.
Luxe: Jonathan Adler Bedside Pill Carafe US$48 from Jonathan Adler.

Scary Skanky Niece.
Economy: Dermalogica Reusable Cleansing Cloth $33 from Dermalogica.
Luxe: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Deluxe Heirloom Edition by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith $38.95 from Angus & Robertson.

Gorgeous Gourmande.
Economy: The Carb Counter Book $16 from Dymocks.
Luxe: I Know How to Cook hardcover by Ginette Mathiot $70 from ABC Shop.

Fabulous Fashionista.
Economy: Borne Naked See-though Zip Pouch (To declutter your handbag.) $24 from Borne Naked.
Luxe: The World in Vogue: People, Parties, Places. hardcover $103 from Borders.

Alcoholic Auntie.
Economy: Disposable Single Use Breathalyser $5.50 from Breathalyser.
Luxe: Menu Vignon Wine Stopper $52 from Top3.

Beauty Junkie.
Economy: Korres Natural Products Lip Butter $19 from Kit Cosmetics.
Luxe: Nars Limited Edition Everlasting Love Palette $160 from Mecca Cosmetica.

Groovy Granny.
Economy: Pocket Posh Sudoku $12.95 from Amazing Paper.
Luxe: Hermes iPhone 3G Leather Cover $420 from Hermes.

Arty Farty.
Economy: My Name is Charles Saatchi and I am an Artoholic by Charles Saatchi $14.95 from Art Gallery of NSW.
Luxe: Smythson Mayfair Art Diary £205.00 from Smythson.

Sexy Mama.
Economy: Dita Stripteese: Queen of Burlesque hardcover $50 from Harper Collins.
Luxe: Inflatable Astronaut $199 from Australian Geographic.

Cool Grandpa.
Economy: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds Tea Towel $25 from Love Police.
Luxe: ‘SoLazy’ Collapsible Roll up Beach Chair $120 from My Island Home.

Need a holiday? Swoon over the Best Hotels in the world…

J.K. Place Capri Italy
So chic! ‘The design is nautical with a twist: we loved picking fresh chilies from the garden to sprinkle on pasta at lunch, and drinking Bellinis on the terrace while watching the bathers on the beach below.’ Travel and Leisure

Amandari Ubud Bali
It’s luxury Bali style. The spa, encircled by a lotus pond, “seems to be floating.” Concierge.com

Sabi Sabi Earth Lodge South Africa
It’s the way to see Africa… in Eco Luxury! ‘Sculpted into a slope of the earth, almost invisible in the landscape, the lodge uses texture, light and space and has been described as the most environmentally sensitive lodge in Africa.’

Six Senses Hideaway Yao Noi Thailand
IS there anything more relaxing than a deserted island holiday with untouched beaches? The beauty of a remote destination without the hassle of being entirely off the grid. On the island of Yao Noi, only 45 minutes by boat from Phuket…

Grand-Hôtel du Cap-Ferrat France
The only place to stay in the south of France: ‘You may never see more entitled-looking children than at the Grand Hôtel du Cap, a family-friendly but ultra luxurious palace on 17 manicured acres overlooking the Mediterranean from St.-Jean-Cap-Ferrat.’  Concierge.com

Hotel Fasano Rio de Janeiro Brazil
The second Fasano, in Rio’s perennially chic Ipanema, is spare and breezy with white walls, leather-upholstered Mies daybeds, Amazonian wood side tables, and at least two burnished Sergio Rodriguez chairs. Guests enjoy two pairs of black-and-white Havainas flip-flops in the guest bathrooms, which are yours to keep. Travel and Leisure

Il San Pietro di Positano Italy
I want to go here! ‘The most striking thing about the San Pietro is its invisibility: the hotel seems to merge with the vertiginous cliffs to which it clings. From the sea, this engineering feat is further disguised by the verdant screen of bougainvillea, hibiscus, and grapevines that seem to cascade from terrace to terrace. The 1971 creation of one man, the late Carlo Cinque, the 62-room tumble is now run by his niece, Virginia Attanasio Cinque.’ Yes please!

Hotel Cipriani Venice Italy
‘Cloistered among sweeping, verdant grounds on the island of Giudecca, across the Grand Canal from Piazza San Marco, the Cipriani is a luxurious world unto itself. It’s frequented by the ultra rich and the ultra famous — many of whom never even bother to take the hotel’s private launch across to the bustle of Venice proper.’ Why would you? Concierge.com

• Lost track of all the mistresses? See where else Tiger has been hanging his Christmas stocking…God rest this Merry Gentle Man. Us Magazine
• Child services are now investigating Elin Woods for beating Tiger with golf clubs. The Superficial… All she wants for Christmas is HIS two front teeth.
• Courtney Love loses legal control of daughter… Ding Dong Merrily on High. People
• Playgirl won’t publish alleged nude photos of Tiger Woods… Oh come all ye faithful. People
• Kate Hudson, Alex Rodriguez split… A Silent Night. Us Magazine
• Sienna Miller: Plus-size models are “more beautiful” than skinny ones… She is away in a manger. New York Magazine
• Leggy Liz Hurley braves the London chill in a daring dress slashed to the thigh… Deck the HALLS! Mail Online
• Is Russell Brand about to pop the question to Katy Perry? Do you hear what I hear? Mail Online
• George’s spirits stay high while critics love Up in the Air… Joy to the World! Popsugar

Vanity Fair’s Proust Questionnaire: 101 Luminaries Ponder Love, Death, Happiness, and the Meaning of Life… by Graydon Carter and Risko

The perfect gift for Christmas: “An intimate look into the inner lives of our most prominent cultural figures — pulled from the celebrated Proust Questionnaire page in Vanity Fair magazine. The probing set of questions originated as a 19th-century parlor game popularized by contemporaries of Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that an individual’s answers reveal his true nature. Illustrated by Risko, Vanity Fair’s Proust Questionnaire brings together the responses of 101 of the most vibrant personalities of our time, from Bette Midler and Lauren Bacall to Salman Rushdie and Norman Mailer, from Martin Scorsese and Shirley MacLaine to Aretha Franklin and Eric Clapton. Candid, hilarious, and endlessly fascinating.”

$27 BookTopia Publisher: Rodale Books (October 13, 2009)

The Christmas List: A Venetian Journal: Food, Travel, Dreams… by Tessa Kiros

“This is a gorgeous companion to the beautiful book “Venezia” by Tessa Kiros. “A Venetian Journal” encourages food lovers who travel and those who explore the world via recipes, to map their own journey, recording favourite recipes and memorable cooking and eating experiences. Structured around the classic Italian meal: Antipasti, Primi, Secondi, Contorni, and Dolci, “A Venetian Journal” features the photographer Manos Chatzikonstantis’ personal selection of photographs from his frequent visits to Venice with Tessa and fragments from her own journals as she sought to imbibe the very essence of the world’s most romantic city.” Divine! A beautiful present!

US$60 Amazon. Publisher: Murdoch Books (November 1, 2009)

Very Easy Plum Puddings with Custard… adulterated from Bills

When is a pudding a cake? When it’s made in muffin trays. So easy: Bill Granger says you can whip these up on Christmas morning.
Serve with lashings of delicious brandy butter, custard and decadent cream.

You need for 12 hungry and hung over Gourmandes or 25 models:

300g raisins
100g sultanas
100g currants
100g glacé fruit (figs, apricots or cherries), chopped
150g unsalted butter
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
175g light brown sugar
1 tbs marmalade
3 tbs brandy
300g plain flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp mixed spice
2 tbs cocoa powder
2 eggs, lightly beaten
custard, homemade or good-quality shop-bought, to serve.

• Stay in your chic Prada PJ’s.
• Slip into your Hermes slippers.
• Put on Frank Sinatra singing Christmas carols CD.
• Take 2 aspros.
• Preheat the oven to 180°C.
• Moisterise a 12-hole muffin tray with lashings of unsalted butter.
• Ask George Clooney to put on a strong coffee.
• Try to chop the dried fruit into small little chunky bits.
• Find a saucepan somewhere.
• Toss in the dried and glacé fruit, the butter, bicarbonate of soda, sugar, marmalade, 1 tbs of the brandy and 250ml of water.
• Make sure you taste the brandy before you cook with it. Hic!
• Put the bottle straight back in the cupboard. Please.
• Now bring the fruit mix to the boil and make sure you stir constantly to make sure it doesn’t catch.
• When it’s all melted and gooey let it have time out alone and a zen moment to completely cool.
• While that is cooling you can find a bowl.
• Sift together the flour, baking powder, spice and cocoa and mix together.
• Now get some eggs and lightly beat them in a bowl.
• Pour the eggs into the now cooled and very gooey fruit mixture and give it a mix.
• Toss in the dry flour mix and give it a good stir together.
• Now spoon the very wet and mooshy mix into the muffin tray but don’t fill right to top so it can rise a bit.
• Throw in the oven for about for 25-30 minutes.
• They are cooked when they bounce and are a nice colour on top.
• TIP: It’s cooked if you insert a strand of spaghetti and it comes out clean.
• Remove from the oven obviously!
• To serve you can pour the rest of the brandy (if you haven’t already drunk it) over the puddings while they’re still warm.
• Light my fire baby!
• Serve with lashings of brandy butter.
• Merry Christmas and have safe, peaceful and tipsy New Year!

The FiFi Report will be back 15th January 2010.