The FiFi Report 276
16 October 2009
Issue 276
  • “Wearing some of those outfits I wore when I was 17 or 18. Those were explosions of wrong.” Justin Timberlake
  • “It’s mostly down to lots of drinking and lots of drugs,” laughing off questions over his age-defying looks. He is an explosion of right.
  • “It started with ecstasy. I loved ecstasy. Loved it, loved it. It was great at first, then it just went…” she mimes a crashing plane with her forearm. And crystal meth? “It ruins you.” on explosions of wrong.
  • “My Twitterberry has been down all day, which was torture at Chanel: I couldn’t have a Twittergasm during that threeway makeout session!”
  • “No one wants to see curvy women. You’ve got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly.” Karl Lagerfeld’s reaction to the news that a German magazine will no longer use ‘real’ models in their magazine.
  • “She’ll be a perfect addition to the family. It’s a lot better for her to be home with me than to be made into bacon,” Paris on her new pet. Pigs are the new pets.
  • “They fired me because they said I was overweight and I couldn’t fit in their clothes anymore… I was shocked to see that super skinny girl with my face. Model Filippa Hamilton is eating too many chips for Ralph Lauren. Photo shop is the new fat.
  • “Standing is the new front row,” One editor who was not happy about the seating situation at Rick Owens show in Paris.
  • “Punctuality is apparently the new black,” Twittered Joe Zee, who arrived a minute late for the Louis Vuitton show in Paris.
  • “Body con is the new hem line this season” Tim Blanks reporting on the trends for style.com
Socks for Summer!

What: Socks for Summer!
Why:
Because they are a continuation of the sexy shoe boot trend but a warm weather version. Because short socks under sandals can give the same look as the heavy gladiator. Because it’s the hot, hot trend straight off the (last week) for spring summer 2010 ! Because sometimes your little footsies can get cold. And you are in need of a pedicure.
Which: Go for soft, light, or almost sheer. It’s not about wearing a chunky, hand knitted, clumpy version. You want a solid colour (stripe socks anyone?). Most probably in a pretty pale colour or maybe black. They could have a rib but they do not have a lace trim. Eeek.
Wear: With all your strappy chunky high gladiator sandals. You can pull them up to the knee (as Miuccia did at Prada seasons ago) but this summer pull them down so they slouch around the ankle. You need to wear these socks with short skirts and lots of sexy legs. Socks are a little scary with flats or sandals. Unless you live in Byron and smoke hooch every day.
Where: Major department stores or head to or next season.

Sequin Jacket

Reasons you are dying to buy a sequin jacket:

  • Because when you go out you can let your jacket do all the talking (while you drink).
  • Because it will cover up all your daggy last season clothes.
  • Because in a down turn you need to sparkle with an upturn. And smile.
  • Because it doesn’t need ironing. Or washing.
  • Because sequins and glitter were all over the runways for summer 2010.
  • Because glitter is easier to wear on top (you can’t sit down in scratchy glitter pants).
  • Head to , Cotton On, Sportsgirl, for Paul & Joe, Camilla and Marc, Portmans, Bardot, Sass and Bide, .

Le Blanc de Chanel Sheer Illuminating Base

Why you want Chanel Sheer Illuminating Base:

  • Because it will even up all those little blotches you hate on your face.
  • Because it seems to prime the skin so that your foundation stays on longer. Well, at least until after lunch.
  • Because it will give you a little shimmer.
  • Because it will match your new sequin jacket.
  • Because it will hide all the botox injection sites.
  • Because it’s lightweight and natural (but not too natural).
  • Because everyone loves to have a little Chanel in the bathroom non?

$65 Le Blanc de Chanel Sheer Illuminating Base from and major departments stores.

Issue 276
  • Makeup artist extraordinaire François Nars is celebrating his 15th anniversary in the business with a “” book, available mid Nov. “The book features portraits of 15 celebrities from Marc Jacobs to Isabella Rossellini, Amber Valletta and Daphne Guinness.” The limited-edition book will sell for $80, and the celebs can choose a favorite organization, and the proceeds from the books will be donated to their favorite charity. Reports . See the shots .
  • The new cover of US Vogue looks tres photoshopped… (see below). But perhaps not when you the behind the scenes video with Nine stars Penélope Cruz, Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman and Marion Cotillard shooting the November cover with Annie Leibovitz on the beach in California.
  • has prompted outrage with shots of model Lara Stone with her pale skin painted brown. The shoot was styled by Hey Hey it’s Vogue Editor Carine Roitfeld!
  • mag shot models Iman and Chanel Iman together for the 35th anniversary. Very funny. Blames the stylist!
  • Linda Evangelista is the star on the cover of W magazine. Read her interview and see shots . Love the chickens!
  • Check out Kelly Wearstler’s fabulous style in .
  • is reporting that Yohji Yamamoto has filed for protection from bankruptcy citing debts of over six billion yen, or $67.8 million.
  • Head to London this week for the fabulous in Regent’s Park. Then Gwyenth (with no makeup) and Stella already viewing the art!
  • Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are launching an eyewear collection for spring under their luxury label The Row with Linda Farrow Eyewear says WWD.
  • The rumors are true: Beckhams out, Megan Fox in. God knows why but Giorgio Armani announced Megan Fox will be the official face for Emporio Armani Underwear and Armani Jeans for 2010. The campaigns, which have yet to be revealed, were shot by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott. She is so NOT Armani. (Dumb and cheap don’t you think?) Reports .
  • Armani could also have a new job: Italy’s newest senator. Santo Versace, chair of Versace and a member of the Italian Parliament, has nominated Giorgio for a lifelong appointment. Reports WWD.
  • Teen Vogue has launched their cute .
  • Ralph Lauren sacks models for being too fat. See the video .
  • about the lovely Grace Coddington and the making of The September Issue.
  • Love Grace? Then the Tee shirt $45!
  • : Not sure I would agree! (But it’s the British point of view.)
  • For its Imagination issue, couldn’t have picked a better cover model than Lily Cole. The star of The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is on the November 2009 cover. Also watch an interview with her on .
  • As expected executives are swinging the layoff axe with cuts at US Vogue, where apparently six people have been let go from one of the company’s best-known titles. Oopsies!
  • Photographer/Designer Hedi Slimane, with styling by Nicola Formichetti, has shot the cover of re-release album The Fame Monster. Out Nov 24.
  • has launched a “global, multilingual, social networking microsite” today at . ‘Gucci fashionista can upload pictures of themselves, which will be reflected in shades from new line Gucci Eyeweb.’ Um, er call me old fashioned but isn’t this boring?

MyFDB.com

Calling all addicted fashionista who need to track down a fabulous ad or amazing editorial!
Check out the amazing new site that is fashion’s answer to One drawback: There is a fee of US$15 a month. How annoying….
The Wall St Journal reports, “Like IMDb, MyFDB.com catalogs the fashion industry in multiple ways, from the personal (you can look up model Chanel Iman and find her recent covers as well as her campaign work) to the team effort (it compiles makeup artists, manicurists and hairstylist credits in addition to editors, photographers and brands). The publications section has full layouts of magazines, including ads and editorials, so you can confirm that Madonna’s Louis Vuitton ad ran in the October 2009 issue of Harper’s Bazaar, which also featured a Banana Republic ad”. Cool.

Issue 276
  • It’s a Mini Karl! Karl Lagerfeld has been immortalised by Japanese-inspired brand Tokidoki as a limited edition miniature figurine. I want one !
  • Madonna says on divorcing Guy Ritchie “challenging… I’m very grateful that I had work to do. I may have thrown myself off a building.” (But she can fly so it’s OK.)
  • Gossip Spoiler Alert! The Sex and the City sequel just got a little more fabulous. Now Penélope Cruz and Liza Minnelli are both appeating in the movie.
  • Rachel Zoe apparently has a disease and it’s not shopping! It’s migraines/vertigo called Minears Disease! Bananas! Or her shoes are too high and she is oxygen deprived.
  • Is Demi suddenly looking too similar to Rachel Zoe?
  • George is so handsome: even though he is with HER (no wonder he looks grumpy).
  • January Jones says her ex Ashton Kutcher told her to quit acting: “He was like, ‘I don’t think you’re going to be good at this,’” the Mad Men star says. Oh, now he is such a great actor.
  • Courtney Love and Miley both quit Twitter which leaves Lindsay Lohan as the undisputed champ of coked out sentences that make no sense.
  • Pamela Anderson was simply following the hot, new trend of exploiting children when she used a nine-year-old girl to hold her dress at the Hollywood Style Awards. But it appears some child advocacy groups don’t appreciate fashion. Oopsies!
  • Heidi Klum welcomes a baby!
  • Now 50 the Duchess of York is still the woman who never grows up.
  • Avril Lavigne officially files for divorce from Deryck Whibley, Surprise!
  • Katy Perry and Russell Brand are still together… we think.
  • Madonna gives Jesus an allowance: I think this must be a tradition, a religious kind of thing.
  • Miranda Kerr looks cool, wears flats!
  • After being held against her will for 18 years, much of it in a backyard hell straight out of a horror film, Jaycee Dugard wants the world to know: she is happy now. Bless.
  • Jessica Biel’s absence at Justin Timberlake’s golf tournament suggests they’re either on the rocks, or golf is boring as shit. Possibly both.

An Education

An Education… by Lynn Barber

“Candid, unsentimental and extremely funny. I read it in one glorious go, laughing and crying throughout.” -Zoe Heller

Read the book before you see the which was “rapturously received at Sundance and Toronto” -

“When the journalist Lynn Barber was 16, she was picked up at a bus-stop by an attractive older man who drew up in his sports car — and her life was almost wrecked. A bright confident girl, on course to go to Oxford, she began a relationship which, incredibly, was encouraged by her conventional, suburban parents and which took her into the louche, semi-criminal world of west London just as the 1960s began. Ruin beckoned, until one day she made an important discovery. ‘An Education‘, the opening piece of this fascinating memoir, was highly praised when first published in Granta magazine, and is currently being filmed by the BBC with a Nick Hornby script.”

£4.98 . Publisher: Penguin (25 Jun 2009)

The Christmas List: Nick Knight

The Christmas List: Nick Knight… by Nick Knight

“Nick Knight is among the world’s most influential fashion photographers. His clients are among the top in fashion and design and include Alexander McQueen, Calvin Klein, Christian Dior, Levi Strauss, Yohji Yamamoto and Yves Saint Laurent.
He has also shot album covers for Bjork, David Bowie, Kylie and Massive Attack, and his work has been exhibited at international institutions such as the Victoria and Albert Museum and Saatchi Gallery.
The book is a collection of Knight’s most beautiful and important images as well as previously unpublished photographs. This is a gorgeous, comprehensive volume by one of the world’s most innovative, highly respected fashion photographers.”

US$47.25 . Publisher: Collins Design (October 27, 2009)

Issue 276

You’ve seen the trends on the runways but what are the actual accessories, the actual pieces you need to rush and buy for summer? Here’s the low down on what to invest and what’s hot straight from the spring summer runways for 2010!

What: Outrageous Shoes
Which:
Shoes, shoes and more shoes. Fashion’s new ‘it’ bag is a shoe. That will make you smile! You want heels, heels and more heels. Go for anything fierce and feminine, and over the top. Try platforms, jewel covered, raffia, sculptured heels or clogs and wooden wedges. Cry over any shoes in a bright colour, shoes that are patent, or shoes that are tough covered in hardware or studs. You want gladiators or serious platforms. You want a shoe boot. You want a party on your feet. Hic!
Why: Because it’s time to have fun. Because summer‘s soft dresses need a heavier shoe to toughen up the silhouette. Because you can instantly update your look in one mean stomp-a-licious step. Because no-one will notice last season’s clothes when your sexy shoes are screaming for attention. (Tip: You will need an assistant to strap you in and out of these heels. An assistant perched on a stool with an oxygen tank.)
Wear: Toss outrageous shoes with pretty summer dresses and a leather jacket to add a funky, tough edge. Wear gladiators with cropped harem pants. Try killer heels with unexpected casual basics: jewelled heels with rolled up chinos or ripped boyfriend jeans. (Tip: if you are wearing jewels or bells on your toes, keep it simple wherever you go.)
Where: Aldo, Nove, Betts, Witchery, Nine West, Wittner, Country Road, Belinda, Alexander McQueen, Balenciaga, , Prada, Versace

What: A Brilliant Bag
Which:
This summer it’s time to put away your classic black bag. Sorry. This season you want a big bag in a bright pop of colour. Look for a slouchy, unstructured tote and colours so bright you need sunscreen. You want any hot shade from red to pink, green or blue. You want mad bags that jump out at you in crazy patchwork, animal print or luxurious patent (faux) snakeskin. You want a soft shape that will suit the easy casualness of summer. (Tip: A size big enough to smuggle your new shoes home without detection). You will love anything with a chain strap and anything heavy with hardware.
Why: Because a big, bright, brilliant bag will add instant groove to your wardrobe. It will add a fat punch of colour to all your pretty muted, understated basics. Because these bags love summer’s grahic prints. Because we all need something to brighten up our day. And big, bright beautiful bags have absolutely no calories.
Wear: With all the boring black having a little snooze in your wardrobe. Wear with clean, minimalist white or wake up pretty summer pastels with a jolt of colour. Tip: Make sure you clash your shoes and bags: Try red patent wedges with a bright, shiny orange bag. Remember a brilliant bag will make a loud statement which means the rest of your wardrobe can keep quiet.
Where: Sambag, Nine West, Country Road, Witchery, Givenchy at Myer, Mimco, Aldo, Oroton, Bally and Cosmopolitan shoes, Prada, Mrac Jacobs, Vuitton,

What: Flat Shoes
Which:
Phew. You thought summer was all about heels. You thought you were destined to stagger about (always looking for a chair). You thought killer shoes were meant to kill. Think again. This season you’ll find flat shoes that are just as interesting as stomp-a-licious heels. Choose pretty and feminine T-bar sandals, ballet flats, masculine lace ups or tough gladiators that would make Russell Crowe proud. Think along the same lines as outrageous heels but a down to earth version. Go for bright, patents, embellished or metallic sandals. (Tip: With comfortable flats you can shop for hours. This is a good thing.)
Why: Because who said you had to suffer for fashion? Because why should heels have all the fun? Because the cool factor should keep going right down to the ankles. Because bolder, brighter and bigger is best. Because toned summer legs should end with an exclamation point!
Wear: With bare legs. Try flats with mini skirts and short dresses. You want a distance between where the shoe ends and the length of the skirt. Keep away from over the knee skirts when wearing gladiators. And make sure your skirts or dresses have a flare. No-one can wear a narrow pencil skirt with flats except mutations of the species called Models. But Maxi dresses love, love, love to be seen with flats. And only flats. (Heels and Maxi dresses? Please no!). Harem or peg leg pants should be cropped or make sure you roll up your jeans and chinos; there’s no point in hiding those sexy sandals.
Where: Target, Nine West, Novo shoes, Midas, Mimco, Aldo, Marni, Vuitton, Calvin Klein

What: The Clutch
Which:
We have seen the clutch lurking on the fashion horizon for a couple of seasons; now it’s taking it’s applause on centre stage. You want a clutch that’s oversized. We are talking about a clutch as a day bag. You want a clutch in animal print, in snakeskin, in patent or metallic. But it can also be black with tough zips and edgy studs. It might even have a detachable chain strap. (Tip: It should not be heavier than your monster shoes.)
Why: Because you don’t want a big, oversized tote every day. Because there is freedom in carrying less. Because a clutch is chic and smart and sits comfortably under your arm. Which means it’s a lot more difficult to eat.
Wear: With everything you own. This is not a bag to be pulled out for special occasions: (who does that anymore?). This bag wants to go out for lunch (it won’t drink much), or lie around at the office. It will love to sit up at a bar looking chic at Happy Hour. It will be thrilled to accompany you to Rehab. It will look equally chic with faded ripped jeans, with a pencil skirt or tossed on with a sexy 80’s dress. It will adore sitting under a sharp shouldered jacket. It knows cool when it sees it.
Where: Equip, Portmans, Mimco, Oroton, Nine West, Witchery, Sportsgirl, Hermes, Chanel, Lanvin

What: Statement Jewellery
Which:
This season it’s not about small, unassuming, non de la non accessories. This season your jewellery has gone crazy just like your outrageous bags and shoes. This is not the time to be mild mannered. You want stacked up jewelled tough cuffs, over the top jewelled necklaces, long stone glamorous earrings and big fat rings. You want jewellery to make a loud statement and then to start yelling. It’s big, bold, over the top and flamboyant. Or nothing. There is no in-between. Sorry.
Why: Because t’is the season to be jolly. T’is the season where accessories are standout. Because we haven’t seen this much opulence in years and it looks new and oh-so exciting! Because changing your jewellery is a Recessionista’s thrifty way to razz up the daggy old wardrobe. Because maximum impact is where the mad comet of fashion is heading. Enjoy the explosion. It will keep going next season.
Wear: With caution. Over the top rings, necklaces and bangles all looks fabulous piled up and thrown on models strutting down the runway at but in every day life it can be too much. Unless you are French. Keep one major item as the focal piece: Wear a big, bold necklace on a simple black dress. Stack up bangles up with a one shouldered dress. Try drop dead jewelled earring with a pretty blouse and big fat rings with jeans. With full on jewellery keep the clothes simple: You are not Lady GaGa.
Where: Mimco, Sportsgirl, Aldo, Diva, Equip, Witchery, Portmans, or Marni, Lanvin, Burberry.
TIP: Try the new website for fabulous rings and cute charms and letter necklaces!

Chicken and Lemongrass Rice Noodles

Chicken and Lemongrass Rice Noodles… adulterated from

This tastes very similar to a Pad Thai so I think it needs a few crushed peanuts scattered over the top. Plus I have doubled the amounts of ginger, garlic and chilli for extra va va voom! You could do the same thing with the dressing.

You will need for 4 dieting fashionista, 2 hungry blokes or 25 models:

180g rice stick noodles
1 teaspoon or more of vegetable or peanut oil
1 tablespoon chopped lemongrass
2 small red chilli, chopped
2 clove garlic, crushed
1 big tab finely grated ginger
250g chicken mince (or just whiz chicken breasts)
½ cup Thai basil leaves
½ cup coriander leaves
More coriander and chopped small red chilli to serve
Chopped peanuts

Lime Dressing
¼ cup (60ml) lime juice
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 tablespoon fish sauce

  • Slip into your new grey marle jumpsuit.
  • Climb into your new Chanel clogs.
  • Pour a glass of wine.
  • Try not to gulp it.
  • Open the packet of noodles, toss into a bowl and pour over hot water.
  • Drain it and set aside for a little quiet Zen time on its own.
  • Let the noodles absorb the water til they are as soft as Crème de la Mer. Takes about ten mins.
  • Now grate or chop the ginger into pieces as small as dieting discipline.
  • Now chop up the lemongrass into pieces as small as Jessica Simpson’s brain.
  • Now chop up the chilli into pieces as small as the credit available on your cards.
  • Pour another wine.
  • Roughly chop the coriander and basil: they love it.
  • It’s a good time to make the dressing so now mix the lime juice, sugar and fish sauce.
  • Crush up the peanuts for serving so they are ready and waiting.
  • If you don’t have chicken mince make your own! Toss the chicken breast with the lemongrass into the whizzer till it’s completely obliterated into bits.
  • Pour a glug of vegetable oil and maybe a dash of sesame oil into a wok or large non-stick frying pan over high heat.
  • Throw in the chilli, garlic and ginger and cook for about one minute.
  • Toss in the chicken lemongrass and cook but make sure you break up any cellulite looking lumps of chicken mince with a wooden spoon.
  • Add more oil or water if you think it’s a bit dry.
  • Pour another wine. Note to self: tomorrow is alcohol free. (Note back to self: tomorrow never comes).
  • Toss in the noodles, basil and coriander and stir fry quickly until the lovely noodles are warmed up.
  • Pour over the divine dressing and give a good mix.
  • Divide between chic white bowls.
  • Accessorise with peanuts, chilli and more gorgeous green coriander.
  • Yum.
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