The FiFi Report 275
9 October 2009
issue 275 Quotes

The reviews are in for Lindsay Lohan and her Spring 2010 show in Paris….

  • “A bad joke of a fashion show” Style.com
  • “a McDonald’s fry cook taking the reins of a three-star Michelin restaurant” New York Times
  • “Call the fashion police!”  Fabien Baron
  • “You know, if you don’t mind, I have to run out the door.”  Harper’s Bazaar’s Glenda Bailey
  • “An actress ought to be an actress, and a fashion designer ought to be a fashion designer.” Former Ungaro designer Giambattista Valli
  • “The hearts and pasties make me think that this collection was designed by a 18-year-old in 1987,”  one bon mot from WWD
  • “The nail in Ungaro’s coffin.”  Commenters on WWD.com
  • “I could see any of these pieces in the bottom three at a ‘Project Runway’ challenge.” Commenters on WWD.com
  • “the first half might as well be Alex Wang last spring and i did see [Lohan] sporting that hot pink blazer of his…” Model Dree Hemingway
  • “Many fashion editors skipped the (post show) party entirely. Bigger crowds have turned out for free champagne at store openings. ” Wall st Journal
  • “A friend of mine suggested that all the celebrity designers (Gwen Stefani, et al) get together with their friends and have Celebrity Fashion Week. They can get their business out of the way, knock themselves out, and then the rest of us can do ours.” -Cathy Horyn from the New York Times.
Funkis Clogs

The Kaiser King has spoken.
So has the Queen.
Both and showed clogs for spring summer 2010.
Why do I suddenly think I want them?
Because I am a fashion slut. A girl can’t help it, just can’t help it.  Of course you don’t have to wait six months for these fabulous fashion clogs to come into store. And you don’t need to spend lots of Chanel dollars either. Simply stagger as quickly as possible in your Balenciagas straight to Funkis. What a collection of clogs! I like the red, the funky black patent and the chic de la chic two strap caramel suede.
The good news? You can walk in these without taking panadeine forte.
$135 Clogs from

Trans seasonal leather

What: Trans-seasonal Leather.
Why: Because we drooled over leather in the best collections this week in Paris (for next spring summer 2010.) Because when and show leather you know this hot trend is just getting hotter. Because when wears a leather dress you know you want it.  Because this trend has been lurking quietly in winter and now Warrior woman is back. And she’s taking over. Say au revoir to soft and pretty BoHo, it’s Bonjour to tough, elegant chic. Invest now! Wear it right this minute (while it’s freezing) then into summer and straight into next winter. It’s futuristic….
Which: Yes, you know the leather biker jacket is hot but now leather morphs into different shapes, silhouettes and styles. You want a leather skirt, dress, vest or shorts. can rock a leather jumpsuit but that’s not for everyone. ( “super slut super hero” ! )Tip: stick to black brown or grey.
Wear: With something soft to tone the tough leather. Try a white shirt, jeans, denim shirt, a grey Tee, layer over a pretty dress.
Where: Try Willow. Acne, Assin for Rick Owens, Portmans, Sportsgirl, Witchery , Net a porter, mytheresa.com, Luisaviaroma.

Model Co Turbo Lash Wand

Reasons you want Model Co’s new Turbo Lash Wand
(It’s had a makeover since it was launched 7 years ago)

  • It’s the only pink you own so you can find it easily in your Birkin
  • Your lashes will suddenly look really long and gorgeous. All night.
  • It doesn’t hurt.
  • The new double heating coil reaches 60 degrees instead of 40. That means it’s hot!
  • it takes AA Batteries: You can take it camping. But you can’t boil water with it.
  • It has inbuilt On/Off indicator light so you know when it’s ready for action Tip: Green is go.
  • It has an inbuilt lash comb to separate and define your lashes
  • You apply it straight after mascara.
  • Tip: Be careful taking it through security at the airport : it may take some explaining why you have a pretty pink Turbo hand held battery operated device in your handbag.

$35 Model Co Turbo LASHWAND from Major department stores and

Issue 275
  • 17 yr old Georgia Jagger is on the cover of the new Vogue UK: see the video of the issue
  • , the great photographer, dead at 92. Bless.
  • Online mob crashes new web site of , First Lady of France. Read more .
  • interviews Karl Lagerfeld. She is so dumb. Bless.
  • of Gucci’s F/W advertising campaign: not sure about the soundtrack and all that chattering!
  • Is Brian Atwood leaving ? (No! it’s a silly rumour )
  • What?! It must be a recession!
  • talks about his mid life crisis, and his movie ‘A Single Man
  • Miranda Kerr walked the Balenciaga show… a little interview with her.
  • has revealed, “I’m doing a TV show. It’s coming. I don’t know when, or how, but it’s coming.”
  • chats to Grace Coddington about her new found fame at the age of 68, in The September Issue, “it’s uplifting when you’re feeling grumpy in the morning on the subway on the way to work and someone recognises you and talks to you,” she admits. “It’s funny and amusing.”
  • Adding to her storied mystique, pens a novel that could make even the most progressive reader blush.
  • is no longer directly involved in the designing of the label. Surprise!
  • Checkout the AMAZING Hermes yacht!
  • is diagnosed with hepatitis and now says “During my illness, I spent more time in my homes, in Broni, and discovered the pleasure of being with my cats, dogs and staff. Before, I always felt like a guest in my homes, even if it’s tragic to enjoy the things you built thanks to an illness.”
  • Four magazine closures: Cookie, Gourmet, Modern Bride and Elegant Bride.
  • Chanel Iman and Jourdan Dunn on the cover of Teen Vogue.
  • Tina Fey is on the cover of
  • Karlie Kloss and Rianne ten Haken bare it all for Steven Meisel and ’s October 2009 issue.
  • has appointed Richard Nicoll as its women’s wear designer. The first collection of the 32-year-old British-born, Australian-based designer will be presented at Paris Fashion Week in March.
  • Penélope Cruz is on the cover of .

alexandermcqueenlive.showstudio.com

The one designer collection that is a must see from Paris Fashion week? The Alexander McQueen show. Amazing! reports” here was a sparkling, illuminated runway in which two sinister, robotic movie cameras on gigantic black booms ran back and forth, while a screen played Nick Knight’s video of Raquel Zimmermann, lying on sand, naked, with snakes writhing across her body.”

“the sophistication of the clothes, the intricacy of the workmanship and the ecological swell of the narrative were spellbinding.”

“dazzling” and “extraordinary,” 

“It was a show in the true sense of the word and the clothes were spectacular to match,”

Issue 275 Squawkbox
  • Kirsten Stewart is on the cover of Interview magazine: watch the video if you are a Twilight fan..
  • Quelle disaster! When gorgeous Grace Coddington returned to her chauffeured car after the Givenchy show in Paris, she discovered her bag had been stolen. (swiped while Coddington’s driver snoozed?) says
  • Tina Fey is on the cover of . Says Botox makes People “look like their faces are full of candles”. GaGa.
  • Lady GaGa gets more ink: thinks she’s Rihanna .
  • Rihanna thinks she’s Lady GaGa . says Thesuperficial via
  • Jude Law’s Hamlet Gets Mixed Reviews, Critics not so gaga
  • Brad Pitt in secret hotel meeting with Jennifer Aniston. Yes, back in 95.
  • Lindsay Lohan’s father says she is addicted to drugs: which explains the  dad trip of a show at Ungaro. ( Iif not on drugs now she will be after all those bad reviews!)
  • Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise go for a run. A couple who jogs together stays together as long as someone keeps batteries in the shock collar.
  • Something’s going on Down Under as Trinny Woodall injures her groin on flight to New Zealand… Fashion victim?
  • Kate Hudson throws on a white dress for a shoot ( must be with US Harpers because we see photographer Peter Lindbergh.
  • George Clooney is still handsome and looks a little more grey: (must be new girlfriend)
  • George is very handsome in a new movie : Trailer: Up In The Air
  • Guy still loves Madge but says “she’s retarded .”  Charming.
  • it’s official: Nicole is actually a

My Life in France… by Julia Child

“…Julia Child liked everything about France. And her memoir, ‘My Life in France‘, is an affectionate merci for all that France gave her. This book, written with her husband’s great-nephew, Alex Prud’homme, before Child’s death at 91 in August 2004, is really a love story: she loved Paul Child, 10 years her senior; she loved France; she loved French cooking; and she loved life. Listen to her: ‘The sweetness and generosity and politeness and gentleness and humanity of the French had shown me how lovely life can be if one takes time to be friendly.’ And a few pages later: ‘Oh, how I adored sweet and natural France, with its human warmth, wonderful smells, graciousness, coziness and freedom of spirit.’ Yes, mes amis, that’s love!

In a foreword, Prud’homme explains that the book had been gestating since 1969, when Julia and Paul organized the records of their life in France between 1948 and 1954: hundreds of letters home, piles of black-and-white photographs (79 are in this book, many taken by Paul) and Julia’s notes as she prepared her influential cookbook, “Mastering the Art of French Cooking,” published in 1961. Love it ! Bon appétit!’” Review from

US$22 . Publisher: Knopf (April 4, 2006)

The Christmas List: Hue… by Kelly Wearstler

“Kelly Wearstler is the ultimate trendsetter in interior design. Hue by Kelly Wearstler builds upon the success of her first monograph, Modern Glamour, and includes recent, unpublished projects, including her home in Beverly Hills, celebrity residential projects as well as some of her latest hotel projects. Hue celebrates the power of color in Kelly’s work and the possibilities of color in interior design and decorating. ” Cool!

US$32 . Publisher: AMMO Books (November 15, 2009)

Issue 275

The key pieces for Summer!
We know the trends for summer but what are the exact items you actually need to rush and buy?  Read on for FiFi’s must have pieces for summer…( when it comes!)

Accessories next week!

What: The Statement dress.
Which:
This summer continues to be the season of the dress. It’s about little dresses and big shoes. The good news? A dress is ageless, recession proof and there is a dress to suit every style, every bottom and every budget. Look for a strong, architectural shape with shoulder details. Short is big news if you have great legs. It could be strapless. It might be a one shouldered with interesting goddess draping details. Or a simple dress in a single bold, bright colour. We love white but there are pretty florals or graphic African prints. You always want chic timeless classic black. You may even squeeze into a sexy body con number if you have stopped eating in 1995. NB: your wallet will have a big say and so will your bottom.
Why: Because who doesn’t want something that makes life easy? Throw on a dress, grab your bag and shoes and you’re out the door. In two seconds flat. (Run back: put on your undies). No worrying about what goes with what. Because from work to weekend to weddings a dress always right. Because a dress is pretty and feminine. Because if you ask George Clooney what to wear and then hold up trousers or a dress, you know the answer.
Wear: A dress will love to be seen with any outrageous shoes. In fact every dress will insist upon it. A dress will beg for platforms, wedges, gladiators or peep toes. A pretty dress needs tough shoes to add a fashion edge. And oh, flat shoes can be tricky: they should only be seen with a full, skirted flirty dress. A dress will also love a sharp shouldered jacket on cool evenings. A dress will love a belt to cinch in the shape and add texture. A dress will adore a big jeweled necklace, or tons of cuffs. It will cry out for a jewelled brooch. A dress does not ever want to be calf length. And will never be seen with a short cardigan unless it’s feeling frumpy. (Or you are the wife of the President).
Where: Balmain, Marni, Karen Walker, Country Road, Jayson Brunsdun, Camilla and Marc, Willow, Scanlan & Theodore
fashion-dresses-balmainfashion-dresse-balenciagafashion-dresses-lanvin-pink
What: The peak power shouldered jacket.
Which:
The jacket continues to be the hot, hot, hot item du jour for summer. Relax. A jacket can be cool, cool, cool even in summer. Look for a sharp tailored jacket with big shoulder detail. It could have short puffed sleeves, ¾ length sleeves or wide cap sleeves that go way, way out, sitting like a balcony over the shoulder. It should have shoulder pads even if it’s sleeveless. This is not a joke. Bless. It should be single breasted. Double breasted is Ok if you can rock the eighties look. Go for gabardine, silk or cotton. It could have military buttons. It should be in a dark versatile colour: You want a dress in a bright colour not a jacket. You could wear white but only if you are not on friendly speaking terms with any dogs, food or children.
Why: Because a peak shouldered jacket is an instant wardrobe updater. Because it will wake up any old clothes curled up in a foetal position in the back of your wardrobe. Because a sharp shoulder will make your waist look smaller. And you will thank me. Every day. Because even in summer we need a tailored jacket to give us shape and structure (After a winter of peanut butter toast). Because a peak shouldered jacket is new and exciting and here to stay. It’s fashion and we love it.
Wear: A peak shouldered jacket is a hard worker: it will smile and happily go with anything you throw at it. It loves dresses. For evenings toss it over your strapless mini dress or a pretty floral number. And roll up the sleeves. For work try a peak shoulder jacket over a flirty skirt and belt it in. For weekends this jacket will love black jeans and a sequin top. Try a peak shouldered with peg leg pants, a simple white tank and monster heels: always heels. Tip. With a sleeveless jacket wear a Metallicus sheer long sleeve Tee to hold in muffin arms. This will enable you to safely wave arms in any direction.
Where: Balmain,  Donna Karan, DKNY, Nicola Finetti, Yohjin Bae, Willow, Bianca Spender, Portmans

fashio-jacket-givenchyfashion-jacket-balmainfashio-jacket-chanel

What: The Jumpsuit
Which:
The sexy 70’s jumpsuit has to be one of the hottest pieces for summer. Stop muttering expletives and put that frown away. If you can frown that is. I promise you a jumpsuit can look fabulous. From sporty to hippy, futuristic eighties or simply strapless, the jumpsuit is in all shapes and sizes. Keep away from floral unless you can count your age on one hand. Instead try simple chic block colours like navy, nude or black. Go for a jumpsuit with some kind of structure on the top and one that is cinched in at the waist to give you one. Halter neck is good and so is a tuxedo style. Keep the details simple and streamlined: the silhouette is tricky enough as it is. Tip: Don’t wear with flats, a backpack or a helmet unless you are jumping out of plane.
Why: Because we haven’t seen the jumpsuit for years: it looks new, modern and sexy. Because it’s a casual cross between a dress and pants. Because a jumpsuit has a sexy, throw away easiness that is perfect for summer. Because it has the versatility of a dress: No mixing and matching. Just throw it on and voila, you’re ready. Because you need to give up drinking. Anything. (Getting out of this in the bathroom requires more discipline than AA).
Wear: Wear with killer heels, Monster heels, Alien heels. You need heels to inject a sophisticated glamorous edge (and to stop you looking as if you work always with a spanner in your hand). Make sure you add a belt to cinch in the waist. You can toss a blazer over a jumpsuit but ditch anything loose and unstructured. Layer it over a sequin tank or a white Tee. It will be sexiest with nothing underneath. Tip: Do not wear a shirt under a jumpsuit (or I will give you a parachute and make you jump).
Where: Stella mcCartny, Scanlan Theodore, Arthur Galan, DKNY, Camilla and Marc, Karen Walker, Seduce, Witchery.

fashion-jumpsuit-valentinofashion-jumpsuit-stellafashion-jumpsuit-chloe

What:  Pants ( peg, skinny or wide)
Which:
What, many of you have asked me, are peg leg pants? Are they something to do with Rolf Harris? Please don’t be afraid. They are trousers that sit on (or just below) your waist with front pleats. Then taper in and slouch to a loose and soft narrow leg that stops around the top of the ankle. This is the new silhouette. I have a feeling you will choose these instead of nappy/harem pants. Go for a dark versatile colour (What?! You don’t want to wear hot pink peg legs?) such as black or navy. You could try a light colour if your legs can handle it. Stay away from any pants that are tight: the fabric should be slightly floppy and the cut should have an easy fit. The only place the peg leg pants should cling is just around the top of the calf.
Why: Because they are comfortable. Because they are surprisingly flattering. Because the front pleats skim over the croissants sitting on your hips. Because the high waist sucks in the muffin top. Because pants are baaack big time and this is the start of a new silhouette. Because you should invest in the beginning of a trend (Then get years of wear from it). Because black pants will always be a pivotal piece in your wardrobe.
Wear: Peg leg pants love, love, love to go out with heels. The more outrageous and over the top, the better. Sorry there is no discussion. You don’t wear heels? Then buy wide leg classic pants instead. (Flats + peg leg pants = I Dream of Jeanie). Wear peg leg pants with a serious peak shoulder blazer. Wear a belt to give you shape and emphasize the waist. Remember voluminous or slightly baggy pants need a tight top. Dark pants means you can have fun on the top so try a bright satin tank, a one shoulder top, or a sexy sequin tank. Tip: Always define the waist so tuck your top in.
Where: DKNY, Hugo Boss, Victor and Rolf, Camilla and Marc, Country Road, Cue, Kate Sylvester, Wayne Cooper, Bettina Liano, Witchery.

fashion-pants-celinefashion-pants-givenchyfashion-pants-balenciaga

What: The Luxe Top
Which:
Crystal, jewels, sequins, lace and beads: embellishment continues to be a big trend for summer. The best way to wear this trend? Invest in a Luxe top. Go for a relaxed, loose style: anything too tight and you are channeling Cher. Dolly Parton. Celine Dion. And keep away from any shape that’s too tricky: you will look like Lady GaGa. This is not a good thing. Go for a matte sequin tank, a lace top, a beaded Tee, or a glitter top. You want silver, white, black or gold. Bright colours + sparkle = Cheap (Sorry to swear at you).
Why: Because you want to sparkle on the top of the body. (Beaded bottoms anyone? Hurts to sit down.) Because strong, hard tailored shapes need some shine to lighten the look. Because a Recessionista needs something shimmering to brighten up the day. Because there is nothing sexier than sparkling sequins next to sun kissed skin.
Wear: With jeans, or peg leg pants, parachute pants or pencil skirts in understated colours. You want to dress down the glitzy glitter. Make sure a sequin top is the centre piece of your look: ditch anything else sparkling that will fight for attention. We don’t like fights. Or people mistaking you for a Christmas tree. Mix the fabrics and clash the look: For day wear try a Luxe top with faded boyfriend jeans or layer the sparkle over a white tank to add a casual touch and anchor the look. For night try a chic sequin tank with peg leg pants, a flirty skirt or with sexy short shorts. Oh and did I mention heels?
Where: Balmain, Donna Karan, Bettina Liano, Maticevski, Nicola Finetti, Manning Cartell, David Lawrence, Portmans, Country Road, Esprit.

fashion-luxe-top-lanvinfashion-luxe-top-pradafashion-luxe-top-rodarte

Aromatic Lamb Shanks … adulterated from

It’s a cold snap so let’s eat something warm and spicy to heat up the night (and the soul).

You will need for 4 hungry fashion editors, 6 yummy mummies or 20 models

6 tablespoons groundnut or vegetable oil
8 lamb shanks
2 onions
4 or more cloves of garlic
sprinkling of salt
1 tablespoon turmeric
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1 dried red chilli pepper, crumbled, or ¼ teaspoon dried chilli flakes
2 teaspoons cinnamon
¼ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
black pepper
3 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon soy sauce
3 tablespoons Marsala
6 tablespoons red lentils
to serve:
3 tablespoons chopped pistachios, chopped blanched almonds or a mixture of both and of course a bunch of coriander.

  • Take off your Prada gloves.
  • Remove Hermes scarf
  • climb out of Burberry puffa jacket.
  • Light the fire, pour a drink.
  • Pop on Chanel sunglasses
  • Chop onions and slice garlic into about the size of your bank account after a day shopping.
  • Reapply mascara and remove black streaks.
  • Pour 3 tablespoons of the oil into a very large, wide, and as heavy-bottomed pan such as your good self.
  • Now toss in and brown the lamb shanks, in batches til they are caramel as your Chloe boots.
  • Then quickly remove them to another plate for a little alone time.
  • Now add more oil to the pan, and toss in the onion/garlic and cook till soft and lovely. Tip: sprinkle with salt to stop it burning.
  • Toss in the pretty turmeric, ground ginger, chilli, cinnamon and nutmeg, and season with some freshly ground pepper.
  • Give a big stir.
  • Drizzle in the gooey honey, soy sauce and Marsala.
  • Stir it all again and smell those divine spices.
  • Put the Marsala away. Please.
  • Pour another wine.
  • Time to throw the shanks back in the pan, and pour in some cold water so they are almost covered.
  • Bring to the boil then put a lid on it. ( Sing: “if you like you should put a lid on it”).
  • Turn down the heat and let it simmer gently for about 1½ hours or until the meat is tender and soft and gorgeous.
  • You may now pour another wine and read Vanity Fair with your feet up.
  • But wait there’s more ! Toss in the chic red lentils and let them cook for about 20 minutes ( without the lid).
  • The lentils should be soft and almost melt into the sauce of the shanks.
  • You want the juices a little reduced and slightly thickened. As your waist will be after eating this.
  • Add lots of sel et poivre.
  • Before you serve you can toast the nuts for a bit of crunchiness.
  • Accessorise with gorgeous green coriander and a sprinkling of nuts
  • Shank-a-licious!
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