A tribute to TOM FORD
- “I suppose, yes, I’ve been guilty of provocation but it’s also just common sense marketing — put a bottle of scent in a woman’s cleavage, or between her thighs — How else are you going to sell perfume to heterosexual men?”
- “When I shaved G for Gucci into the model’s pubic hair it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek statement about branding — we had Gucci emblazoned on everything in those days — so I said why not the pubic hair too. It wasn’t just about sex.” Tongue in… cheek?
- “One of the most important things is to figure out what your look is. Cary Grant never turned up in a pink jacket and hot pants.”
- “Thing is, people look much better naked. They’re all the same colour and they can’t screw up. You see someone at the gym and they look great. Then they put on their clothes.” …A pink jacket and hot pants?
- “My goal is not to have old age. I want to live, and then die — I want to be as attractive as I can be at 95 — not for vanity’s sake but because it would be so great to be able to get in and out of the car at that age.” Like YSL (below).
- “Ties give me a headache. My chest is still good, it’s the last thing to go on a man, like a woman’s legs — so I say feature the things that work.”
- “I was quoted as saying I like the smell of a man’s sweat but it was taken out of context — the fact is I like the smell of life — of earth and dust and sweat and horses.”
- “People say I’m always sex sex sex but it’s not actually all.” There are horses too.
- “I couldn’t dress Barack Obama as he has to dress in American-made clothes — and as the President of America maybe $5,000 suits aren’t the thing?”
- “If they did hybrid Bentleys I’d be the first to get one.” Sexy.
- “Unfortunately, Richard hardly ever has anything nice to say about my work. It’s my mother all over again. In psychoanalytic terms, it’s called the horrible familiar.” Tom about his boyfriend Richard Buckley.
Read an interview here on UK Vogue or here at Times Online.
Ways to keep warm on a cold winter’s night:
- Layer up and wear everything you own from Prada.
- Inhale whisky.
- Sit on top of the oven.
- Wrap up in a slanket.
- Stay in bed wearing everything you own from Prada.
- Snuggle into a warm, delicious and very cute knit covered hot water bottle. Is there anything better than that? Yes. George Clooney…. but he won’t wear a knitted red heart sweater.
$14.95 Heart Hot Water Bottle from Tinos
Reasons to watch an open fire on DVD:
- You can only watch your Balenciagas in your wardrobe for so long.
- You have guzzled an exquisite amount of Moet Chandon.
- It’s better than watching sport.
- It’s better than listening to your boyfriend chat about sport.
- There is no smoke.
- You don’t need to clean it.
- It will save on your carbon footprint (which means you can buy more shoes).
$19.95 DVD Fireplace from DVD Productions
Problem: You have hair that is uncontrollable, curly, frizzy, dull and damaged.
Answer: The fabulous new Latino Hair Straightening. The FiFi Report Executive Fashion Editor — who admits she has outrageously difficult hair — ran like a maniac on her Louboutins into Pierre Haddad and came out with amazing straight and sexy, sleek hair. The application process lasts anywhere from 1.5 to 4 hours depending on the length and thickness of the hair. She was in there for hours. And came out looking like Jennifer Connelly. They say “It’s a protein treatment that straightens the hair without damaging or changing its texture creating gorgeous, sexy, sleek hair all season long. The Latino Protein treatment is not permanent”. They also say it’s like Botox for your hair. Which means only one thing: no more frowning over bad hair.
Latino Hair Straightening from $250 at Pierre Haddad
We love the latest issue of WWWWD. It’s Hilarious ! With headlines like NASA to Investigate the Obnoxious Genius of Miuccia Prada and Tom Ford Found to be One Horny Monkey or Lagerfeld Pens Debut Children’s Book, 101 Bavarian Nights… you will chuckle for hours.
Miss Dahl’s Voluptuous Delights: Guilt-free Eating with Abandon… by Sophie Dahl
“Sophie Dahl, one of the most glorious women on the planet, shares delicious secrets from her slinky kitchen, funny stories and favourite recipes in a beautifully illustrated hardback. With delectable recipes for each season, this luscious abundant take on food will delight women everywhere. Sophie cooks with gusto and passion and here she takes us on a delicious journey through a wonderful collection of her favourite recipes for every meal and every season — from her Grandmother Gee-Gee’s ginger parkin, to her dad’s amazing chicken curry to what she serves her boyfriend for breakfast.
Original, funny, intimate, and quirky with a bit of whimsy, this glorious book is full of wonderful anecdotes and delicious recipes, scattered with Sophie’s own lovely Matisse-like line drawings that slope off the page.”
See the video here.
£8.09 Amazon. Publisher: Harper Collins (30 April 2009)
The Christmas List: Cartier I Love You… by Bruce Weber
“As the name implies, this book is a heartfelt love letter to a jewelry house without equal. Originally a jeweler of kings, Cartier is often dubbed ‘the king of jewelers.’ Art directed and edited by Bruce Weber, this dazzling homage combines photographs created by Weber just for the book, original texts by Weber and Ingrid Sischy, along with a fascinating cornucopia of archival images and passages. The gold-bordered, distinctively red cover and case are designed to look like a Cartier jewelry box — right down to the authentic Cartier ribbon sewn into each binding!” Read all about the shoot here in W Magazine. We love Bruce Weber and all those handsome boys…
US$59.85 Amazon. Publisher: teNeues (June 15, 2009)
They are getting their act together and — I do declare — are looking a little more fashion. On sale. My favourites are:
- The basic knit sweater dress which has ¾ wide kimono sleeves with a V neck. It has a kind of band across the top under the boobs. And then it flares out a bit. My point being that it is not a scary sweater dress that clings on all those bits of bread and butter pudding sitting there under our boobs. It’s a casual style of sweater dress and will look great with short platform ankle boots. But then doesn’t everything? $149
- Love the cotton check print dress with a very deep V neck that is covered in beading in creams. The dress is in a painterly kind of brown and cream Marni check. It flares out and also has a back tie. The V neck is outrageously deep meaning that unless your name is Paris Hilton your will want to wear this over a little tank. To cover up the cleavage. Love this dress with a leather jacket and heels. Mix up the fabrics and don’t worry your pretty little head about wearing cotton and leather. Darling that is so old fashioned. And we can’t have you being that. Now $99.
- You must check out the purple or black chiffon ruffle front blouse on sale $99. A blouse is so handy. It’ s pretty and feminine and loves to pretty up tough heels. A blouse is just the understated thing to wear with jeans and heels when you want to dress up a little when George Clooney wants to take you out for dinner.
- I see a chic and quite soft wool melton double breasted peacoat. It has black buttons and a belt. The fabric is a very light wool so it’s not too heavy to wear when the weather will get a little warmer. Now on sale $289. It’s chic with a belt. You could always take that off and replace with your own one. It’s all about the waist this season. So put down that donut now.
- You want the black leather bomber jacket now $549. It is a great cut and it has a bras zip up the front and patch pockets. It’s a good cut and sits so that it gives good shape. Read = you will not look fat and butch. Like Chastity Bono. Her choice but I am not advising anyone to mimic that look. Bless. By the way the leather jacket is still hanging in there for another season or two but it’s hit the tipping point. It’s perfect for trans-seasonal dressing over pretty dresses and I so would buy a leather jacket instead of winter coat. Of course if you had listened to FiFi two seasons ago you would have invested in a leather jacket when it was an item du jour.
Love this store. You will always find the on trend looks for the next season available now. There is sale and its fabulous with winter jackets galore. My picks are:
- The fab black leather bomber jacket with a black zip. The black zip makes it less tough than a jacket with brass or silver zips. It is short and cropped and in a cool shape. It has zips along the collar but don’t let that put you off. It has serious lining which means it will be warm. How thoughtful. I tried it on and it is snug but what a great buy for $99! There were quite a few left but they may have all left the building. With Elvis. (Well he had a penchant for leather jackets non?)
- Also check out all the racks of puffa jackets. There are some chic ones here and you need a puffa jacket. Why? Because it’s freezing out there. And because Burberry and a lot of big designers showed this look last winter and it’s still cool. The point is to wear a puffa jacket with sexy heels and a pencil skirt. It’s not about wearing a puffa jacket with gumboots and a scarf when you are out strolling with the Queen at Windsor. You want to sex it up and wear with serious heels and a full skirt. There is a puff jacket here with no zips in black nylon on sale $99.
- There is a chic de la chic grey wool melton peacoat coat. How many times must I tell you to invest in a peacoat. They are a forever classic piece. So French. So right for the short mild winter we have here. Wear with everything. That’s why I like it. It will work with a pretty flirty skirt or with jeans. A peacoat is great for work as well. Throw it on over understated fluid trousers and a knit. Now $99.
- Love the navy wool twill military coat with buttons along the side. It has a round neckline that is collarless but again this is a great buy because it will work with everything in your wardrobe. Remember navy and black love being seen together. They are best friends. Now $99.
- There are some trench coats that I am suddenly drawn towards. Oh dear. Looks like the trench Rehab didn’t work and I am back indulging in my overdose. Check out the stone trench here now on sale for $99. I will not describe it. I think you know.
- There are cotton peacoats, asymmetrical zip jackets and black fake fur vests with reversible suede… it seems all reduced to $99.
They have undergone a makeover. Finally. The good news is that I see they are getting rid of the horrid red walls in the fitting room. I mean only a man would have designed a fitting room with a red wall so when you look in the mirror all you see is red. So lovely on the complexion. So ignore the bright lighting and head here to check out:
- The tan brown leather zip up jacket with a silver zip. It has a fitted shape and patch pockets on the front. It is not too oversized and loose so when you wear it undone it will still look slimming. Most important. Wear this over a pretty dress and to break up all the black. Love this black with navy and choc brown. $299
- Love the grey marle silver sequin tank. It has a racer back (for all that exercise you don’t do) and it’s not too clinging. $39. Love this over a white tank or tee. Love it back with jeans and stomp-a-licious heels. Love this with your black harem pants. Oh it does come in black too but I like the grey.
- You want the boyfriend jeans on sale for $29. Whatttttttttttttt??? Yes, they should really be the chic but cheap of the week. They are a great shape, slightly baggy and then a narrow leg as all boyfriend jeans should be. They are a little faded. If you are a jeans snob get over it! If you look great in these just think how you can spend the other $500 on a Hermes cuff… So shut up and get in there.
- Also check out the chic little silver glomesh evening bag. I am calling it an evening bag because it’s small. You will not be taking this to the office unless your name is Moran and if you work hard at night. $39
- I see a rack of puff shoulder blazer which are really worth looking plus I love the long boyfriend blazer. It has cute stripe lining like a mans jacket because you are supposed to wear it with turned up the sleeves and show that little detail. A boyfriend jacket - as you know because I told you last week- is slouchy and less structured than a blazer. As if you stole it from your boyfriend.
On sale. My picks are:
- The chic Calvin Klein black wool melton cape. It’s fabulous. It’s like a peacoat with black double breasted buttons but then it has slits for your arms for easy shopping. It even has epaulettes. It is a serious cape so it will cover up your muffin hips too. Now $305.
- Nicola Finetti is 40% off and there are some fabulous pieces. You want all the black dresses: one of the best is the dress with ¾ sleeves and bodice is satin and I think the bottom skirt is velvet. Now $249. Remember the dress is still continuing to be a huge trend for next winter — even though we love our harem pants — and the little black dress is Mrs Versatile. The magazines are full of little black dresses so invest in one now that’s on sale and then wear into next summer. Just layer a blazer over top now and wear with opaques.
- Love the Nicola Finetti silver sequin drape and twist tank top now $209. You know sequins and shiny are another big trend and if you are feeling sparkly then I suggest you buy this cute top. You know the tip is to layer a silver top over a white tank. That way you tone down the glitz and you won’t look like a try hard tragic. No. Instead you will look like a chic little Miss Fashion. Keep it casual with pants. (A skirt is too dressed up for sequins.) Either harem or jeans. Toss on a blazer or boyfriend jacket. Cool.
- Love the Karen Walker rack: the best buys are the grey wool cuffed ¾ pants now on sale for $244 which is 50% off. Grey is chic. Grey is a neutral. Grey is very peace loving like Switzerland and will go with everything. Hot Pink on the other hand is like Iran. I will take to the streets and demonstrate if I see any FiFi Report subscribers wearing it. (Lanvin and Prada excused.)
- Don’t die of shock but I like a coat from Charlie Brown. I know. Normally as bad as pink. But there is a black coat (yes, it has to be black) that is rather chic. It‘s in a soft wool melton and is a princess coat which means it’s tailored and fitted to the waist then flares out a little over the hips. It has cute puffed shoulder detail. The interesting thing is that this coat has an unusual pleated collar. It’s awfully chic. Must be a copy of Lanvin I presume. Wear with a dress or a full skirt or just tossed over over jeans with short ankle boots. Not on sale $459.
- You should checkout the collection of Basque dresses: there is a very Lanvin one in a black satin for about $129. It’s fitted to the waist with cute cap sleeves and a round neck. Also check out the shirt dresses. Again. You want a chic dress. Think “can I wear it in summer?” before you buy it. Think you better stop eating too.
It’s very classic here but I see some great weekend pieces. On sale. My picks are:
- The short grey wool melton double breasted peacoat in a kind of cocoon shape. It has a round collarless neckline and is rather chic. $499. This is a little less tailored than your usual peacoat but this can be a good thing if you want to sneak things into the house. It could also be great to wear with a narrow pencil skirt or your skinny grey jeans. Balance out the volume. In fact turn down the volume. You will look sleek and chic in this if you do that.
- The black or grey rib wool poncho top. Love a poncho. So great to toss on over a knit with jeans or harem pants on the weekend. This is a great slouchy around the house being a lazy slut type of piece. It’s much chicer than a slanket! Now $109.
- I also see a fabulous grey knit, big full on poncho with fringing $129. Love this with track pants. Love this if you are feeling a bit hippy. Or if you do a lot of meditation and medication on the weekend. Not in that order
- Checkout the must have long sleeve round neck tee’s. So right to toss under all your jackets in winter. Just check that when you take off your blazer (somewhere in a cool bar) that you don’t have back fat if the top is too tight. Eeewww. These should fit so that they skim across that unsightly vision. Now $49.
- While you are here check out fabulous black jet big chunky necklace a la Burberry now on sale for $34. You know that the statement necklace is hot for this season and next. That means big oversized dramatic necklaces that will wake up all the snoozing boring bits in the back of your wardrobe. Wear with a basic knit crew neck sweater. Keep away from those horrid scoop neckline. Otherwise you will be wearing those fabulous necklaces on your skin. Not a good look. Cheap. And a wide scoop neckline gives everyone a fat neck. (Sorry to swear).
- Speaking of knits there are some chic long sleeve fine knit sweaters here. They are in chic choc brown or black or dark grey (I think) and they are just the thing to wear under blazers and peacoats and trench coat. But they may be a bit boat neck so you better check the look. Now $99.
- There are always trench coats here in all sorts of colours and single breasted. How reassuring.
Of course there is a sale on but I spy a few new pieces coming in store. My picks are:
- The new, dark denim, almost black, short ¾ trench coat. Well, of course I zoomed over to a trench coat first thing. It has a secret pull over me. It has epaulettes and a belt for that touch of military. When you try it on you will see that you will live in a coat like this. It’s sharp enough to look chic for the office but you can still toss it on over chinos or jeans. This is trans-seasonal and you will thrash this… till it won’t take it anymore. And beg for mercy, it won’t get a rest because you can wear it through to summer. $279
- Also check out the royal blue sleeveless, round neck top with lots of petals all over it. It is very Marni inspired. It’s called a scalloped top. That would be scalloped as in the petal shape not as in a fish. Just the thing to wear under a black jacket or back with a navy coat. Please don’t wear this with any other bright colours unless it is Dries van Noten and you know what you are doing. Best to keep the colours understated and chic or it could get scary. $149
- If you are a skinny minny you will love the new pleat front denim pants: almost a peg leg and very eighties they taper down to a skinny cuffed leg. You can never tell with pants like that, sometimes they look great over the muffin hips and you can look slim. I tried these on. Then burst out laughing. Oh, now that was scary. Let’s just say that they cling where they shouldn’t. Like a bad boyfriend. $129
- Buy the silvery grey cotton, slouchy, paper bag waist in a crinkly fabric with a self belt. These are a flattering shape and are looking very good for the holiday in St Tropez. $149
- You want the blue silk ribbon dress that has pleats or ribbons all down the front. It’s sleeveless and has a tiny little self belt. So right to wear with your black opaques and chunky heels. So right under a black military coat or with a fake fur chubby. $299
- Love the short, black cotton twill military cape. It is very short like a trench coat with epaulettes that someone has chopped off into a tea cosy. Maybe I should do that with my collection… Now on sale $129.
- In accessories there is an oversized grey leather Doctor’s bag: I think it’s very Miu Miu if I am not mistaken. Perfect for every day $299.
Always classic and quite luxurious here. On sale! My picks are:
- The Weekend Max Mara black puffa jacket with a fur detachable collar now $858. So luxurious this is all you want for those weekends away in the country. Or you can wear this in the city with killer heels and with your pencil skirt and channel Carine Roitfeld.
- Love the divine soft, soft black wool melton coat with a detachable fur trim. It is a ¾ length which is a great for an Australian winter. It’s single breasted and is simplicity in itself. Now on sale $950.
- Love the wool melton, long caramel tan belted coat. It’s single breasted and quite divine and so understated and chic $2515. This is the type of coat you see on the streets of Paris and Milan. It’s an everyday coat that you actually wear to keep warm. Not just to look fashion and pretend it’s cold. Love this over a short dress and over the knee boots to sex it up.
- You want the quilted bomber jacket with a front zip and a detachable hood: it’s pretty cool for you… Now on sale $856.
- There are a lot of fabulous knits from simple grey knit sweater dresses to gorgeous polo neck jumpers and tops… all on sale from about $200. Get in there now.
There is a sale but also divine new season pieces in store to drool over. You want:
- The short suede ankle boots. The heel is not so outrageously high as so many of these boots seem to have. Also I love the turn over cuff. They come in black or tan and I think you should have both. Ankle boots are still big news for next season so you get serious wear from these. That is because ankle boots work with a dress or jeans so you are right for the season. $925
- Love the square stand up tote with two handles. It has over stitching details on the front and the signature resin and gold chain strap. $1600. It is in black too.
- Adore the caramel python slouch with gold hardware, it is quite luxurious and it should be for $3000. The larger size is about $4000. Yes, please.
- You want the gorgeous animal print (that is really pretty butterflies) evening clutch $1100. Also in a ruched black leather with gold trim.
- Buy the divine wide pleat simple slouch bag in the softest leather ever. Love it in the steel grey but its also in black. A perfect casual everyday bag it has no obvious hardware or any logo: that is stealth wealth non? About $1100.
- Slip into the black seriously high peep toe sling back heels with a big button on the toe now on sale for $480. You need them. You just do.
- In the clothing there is a fabulous animal print soft chiffon blouse $995 and a divine animal print caftan dress. The animal print is not scary and bright but subtle in a soft cream and caramel. Quite the chicest thing.
- The black leather jacket is gorgeous. Ooh la la… It has a zip up the front and chic silk lining with a vintage Bally print hidden inside. How clever. $2000. Also in cream. Which is for those with kids and pets.
Simple Carrot Cake ….adulterated from Stephanie Alexander’s The Cook’s Companion
I had some carrots. So I made a healthy cake to munch with a cup of tea on cold winter’s day while it poured with rain. The best part? The creamy icing.
You need to feed 3 fashionistas, 20 models or one hungry bloke
125 g self-raising flour
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
2/3 cup olive oil
2 eggs, lightly beaten
2 cups finely grated carrot
60 g roughly chopped walnuts
- Preheat oven to 180.
- Slip into black Louis Vuitton fleece jumpsuit.
- Climb into Prada Ugg boots.
- Moisterise a cake tin (a small 18cm one this cake is not a big cake).
- Roughly chop the walnuts.
- Grate the carrots in a whizzer or if you have to do it by hand delegate that to George Clooney. It’s too boring and too bad on the nails for you to even attempt it.
- Now find a bowl.
- Toss in the flour, sugar and the spices.
- Throw in the oil and the eggs and then beat them up with an electric mixer for about 1 minute.
- Now stir in carrot and walnuts.
- Pour into a the cake tin.
- Bake for about 1 hour.
- Let it cool in the cake tin before turning it out in a plate.
- Now while the cake cools down you can make the icing.
- Mix about 200g of Philadelphia cream cheese, with 2 tsp melted butter and 200g icing sugar.
- Spread over the cake and watch the drizzle over the side.
- Healthy and delicious.