Donatella is interviewed by Lenny Kravitz in Interview Magazine…

• “I was a fashion addict by the time I was 11 years old. I’d wear a miniskirt and patent-leather boots.”
• “I looked almost as I do now, the only difference being that I was 11.” (she hopes).
• “You always want to feel sexy. You want people to look at you and say, “Wow.”. They certainly do that.
• “I was with Gianni doing the ’80s, in the ’80s. I have so many pieces in the archives that I could put right out on the runway and they’d be perfect. [laughs] In general, I think, yes, we can look back, but not that much. It’s too literal. Like shoulder pads”  (Or trying to look like you are 11 years old.)
• “I don’t think about making sexy clothes… I think sex is part of life, like eating and breathing”. (Or not eating)
• ” I’m Italian, but I’m not that Italian. I don’t cook.”
• “I like to eat. Definitely. I love sitting around a table with my friends. But I don’t know how to cook anything” Or eat anything.
• “I really do listen to music continuously all day long - very loud, so people can’t stand to be around me anymore. [laughs]” She should learn to cook.

What you can buy for $24.

• The stiletto heel of one Prada shoe.
• The clasp of a Lanvin bag.
• The buckle on a Bally belt.
• The stitching on a Chanel jacket.
• The button on a Burberry trench.
• One very chic, stone cotton belted trench from SES.
  I stumbled upon a rack of trenchcoats on sale for $24 at SES. I was not drunk and I took out my glasses to double check. (The trench coat not the gin bottle.) This price is correct. This is not a typo.  I have been trying to avoid trench coats since my stint in Trench Coat rehab but who can resist the recession buster of the season? I tried very hard to find a photo of the SES trench but, alas, no where to be found. You must settle on the original Burberry prototype seen here. The SES trench is very similar: double breasted, belted and with epaulettes. For an outrageous $24.

Things we have to thank Sweden for:

• ABBA
• Ikea
• The Nobel Purchase Prize (which I was awarded in 2008)
• Vodka
• Volvo drivers
• Smorgasbord
• More Vodka
• More Ikea
• Acne
  Acne has opened a store in Sydney. Anyone getting excited with terrible skin problems should settle down. Acne is a cult Swedish fashion brand. Acne stands for Ambition to Create Novel Expression. How very Swedish. The spring/summer 2009 collection is instore but the Lanvin Acne collection (pictured) is not arriving until August. Don’t cry it will take you that long to get your Ikea wardrobe together.
  The Acne Studio, 28 Glenmore Road, Paddington. Phone: (02) 9360 0294.

For years you have loved the Elizabeth Arden eight hour cream. Now you can slather yourself in the Eight Hour Cream Intensive Daily Moisturiser. They say “the quick-absorbing formula smooths and softens rough, weather exposed skin with soothing emollients”. I say it sinks into my rough, shop-exposed skin absorbing pretty quickly. They say “skin should stay smooth and moisturised for up to eight hours”. I say who goes for Eight hours without reapplying some kind of goo to your skin? But this cream does seem to hang in there longer, my face feels softer and plumper. But that might be from my daily chocolate cake intake.

$55 Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream Intensive Daily Moisturizer for Face SPF 15 Sunscreen from major department stores and Beauty Heaven.

• Emma Watson is a style queen in Karl Lagerfeld’s shoot for French magazine crash.
• CNN’s TALK ASIA sits down for a rare interview with Miuccia Prada at an exhibition of her work in Seoul. The designer discusses the impact of the recession, her inspirations and her early years as a mime artist and communist. She also addresses rumors of her fiery relationship with husband Patrizio Bertelli. Fabulous! see the video here.
• Kate Moss is writing a book. Again. Rumour #245… ‘A fictional account of a young female model’s life as she is plucked from obscurity and thrust into the A-list limelight.” Unusual subject to choose. The Sun.
• What?! Carine Roitfeld wears FLATS at Cannes?! Check out all the Cannes shots here
• ‘Model Lily Cole’s first major film, Terry Gilliam’s The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, which also happens to have been Heath Ledger’s last film, premiered at Cannes. The critical reaction has been less than flattering - the Guardian called the film “an awful mess,” and Entertainmently Weekly agreed: “The plot’s a mess of disconnected episodes, and the circus-y visual style adds to a feeling of… quiet desperation.” reports Fashionologie. See the trailer here.
• New York’s Mayor Bloomberg declared May 28, to be “Burberry Day”, coinciding with the official lighting of the Burberry logo on the rooftop of the brand’s new US HQ on Madison Avenue. Burberry also announced it will show its spring 2010 Prorsum collection in London (not Milan) to mark the 25th anniversary of London Fashion Week. Christopher Bailey says “London is our home - it’s the heart of this global luxury brand and the center of all our creativity,” reports WWD.
• Check out modle Anja Rubik in Terry Richardson’s shoot in Paris… So cute. (She is also on the cover for French Vogue June issue).
• Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana could be personally liable for more than a billion dollars in unpaid taxes and fines, following an investigation by Italian police, although the two designers deny any wrongdoing. Of course. Silly tax department …reports WWD.
• “Everybody has a disorder of some sort!” Declares Winona Ryder to Elle UK.
• Mango has Scarlett Johansson as the face of its new fall/winter 09/10 advertising campaign. Reports Style File.
• More details are emerging from ‘The September Issue’, the Vogue documentary featuring Anna Wintour and Grace Coddington. Fashionologie.
• The Global Economic crisis has taken its toll on Christian Lacroix and Veronique Branquinho says WWD.
• The Givenchy Fall 2009 ads have debuted featuring newly pregnant model Adriana Lima…’ who eloped on Valentine’s Day and will give birth to a genetically flawless, eternally cellulite-free child later this year.’ New York Magazine.
• We love ‘Karl Lagerfeld’s Hipster Man-Bag’ New York Magazine.

The Unknown Hipster

Love this new blog! Unknown Hipster “satirizes the self-important fashion world in the teasingly tart manner characteristic of Jean-Philippe Delhomme. The French artist and author recently published his first illustrated book in English, The Cultivated Life (see FiFi’s Hot Books)” says style.com. Check out the witty sketches of Garance Doré and Scott Shulman and the unknown hipster’s hilarious take on trying to be photographed by both of them in Sydney at Fashion week.

• Ooh la la! Bidding frenzy expected for nude photo of France’s First Lady Carla Bruni. Reports The Daily Mail.
• It has been revealed Nicole Kidman’s wax facsimile from Madame Tussaud’s effortlessly attended the Oscars when the actress accidentally double-booked her schedule. From WWWWWD.
• ‘If Kerry Washington’s dress ate itself and then vomited, this is what would come out’… Isabelle Adjani at Cannes can be seen here.
• It’s a toothless Demi Moore… Just Jared.
• SuBo goes loco! Susan Boyle has a meltdown says The Sun UK.
  
• Is Kylie engaged to her hot, young model? says Pink is the new blog.
• ‘I’m not anorexic,’ says Tori Spelling as she munches poolside on a club sandwich. (Then vomits.) says The Daily Mail.
• Evangeline Lilly Calls Angelina Jolie a “Complete Ice Queen I’d love to be her but just the humanitarian side”. Oh no you wouldn’t want to look like Angelina. from Us Magazine
• ‘Meg White became Karen Elson’s new sister-in-law and Patti Smith’s new daughter-in-law at a double wedding in Jack White’s backyard in Nashville’ from The Huffington Post.
• Paris Hilton denies being thrown off yacht for hooking up in bathroom “I would never do that,” she says. No, she would just hook up in public. reports Us Magazine.
• Jesus Luz: I Don’t “Have Plans” to Marry Madonna or any other grandmothers. reports The UK Mirror.
• Mike Tyson’s 4-year-old daughter Exodus died after a freak accident that left her on life support early yesterday. Bless reports People.
• Mel Gibson confirmed the news his girlfriend is pregnant and calls himself “Octo-Mel” (now that he’ll have eight kids) says People.
• Supermodel Gisele Bundchen is expecting a little munchkin. says Radar Online.
• A Harvard study concluded that people who are beautiful are richer, better-educated, and more confident. Thank you, Harvard.
• They’re on again, they’re off again… they’re on again! Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn are un-separated. Again. Us Magazine.

The Suspicions of Mr. Whicher: A Shocking Murder and the Undoing of a Great Victorian Detective… by Kate Summerscale

A mesmerizing portrait of one of England’s first detectives and the gruesome murder investigation that nearly destroyed him. In 1860, three-year-old Saville Kent was found murdered in the outdoor privy of his family’s country estate. Local police scrambled for clues, but to no avail.

Scotland Yard Det.-Insp. Jonathan Jack Whicher was called in and immediately suspected the unthinkable: someone in the Kent family killed Saville. Theories abounded as everyone from the nursemaid to Saville’s father became a suspect. Five years later, the killer came forward with a shocking account of the crime, leading to a sensational trial. Whicher is a fascinating hero, and readers will delight in following every lurid twist and turn in his investigation.
US $10 Amazon. Publisher: Walker & Company; Reprint edition (February 17, 2009).

The Christmas List: The Cultivated Life: Written and Illustrated by Jean-Philippe Delhomme… by Jean-Philippe Delhomme

A divine and witty book. I wish I had written it myself…! ‘The stroke of his brush is almost as sharp as his wit, but the result is always playful and droll. Jean-Philippe Delhomme is a prolific name in the world of illustration and often described as the Parisian answer to the smart cartoons that appear in the New Yorker. The Cultivated Life, the first-ever English compilation of Delhomme’s work, is a celebration of his gently satiric musings of “first-world” problems. Drawing from the trials and tribulations of the contemporary lifestyle - the design addict cautiously circling the latest modern furniture piece in an upscale boutique, or finding the perfect outfit to convey one’s current philosophy - Delhomme chicly illustrates the humor in all that surrounds him.’

US $19.80 Amazon. Publisher: Rizzoli (March 10, 2009).

Economy Class:

Betts Shoes

Always a fabulous place for cheap but shoes; very on trend and great prices: I have chosen mainly black or brown because when shoes look more expensive in those colours, especially ones under $100.
My picks are:

• The fabulous black suede, moccasin style, round toe shoe boots with a small thin heel. They lace up the front and have some fringing detail hanging on the side but in fact that’s quite nice. I think they look more expensive than $64. Outrageous.
• Love the black Chanel style ballet flats with a patent toe, they have an elastic side too. Chic and perfect for weekends with jeans $59.
• Check out the amazing Jimmy Choo-esque black (or brown) faux snakeskin zip front sandals with a high, high heel. There are about 8 straps across the foot and more zips than ever seen on a shoe. Or two. You know the ones. You don’t need to undo the zips, they are there just for their good looks and punk edge. These are limo shoes. You don’t walk anywhere in these. Just sit in the limo and then get out and sit down again. (In the bar; not on the pavement.) $129
• Love black patent shoe boots with a peep toe and a strap and buckle across the front: they have a bit of a stiletto heel but not so high you need an oxygen mask. $119
• If you do have an oxygen mask at hand or not frightened of heights then you must buy the very Burberry inspired black wedges with a stud ankle strap, very cool, very stomp-a-licious. $129.They are called naughty. So you want them for that reason alone. (pictured)
• So if you get dizzy up there and hate to look down on anyone try the classic black patent pumps with a smallish heel $64. They are conservative but not daggy and I think would look chic with skinny black jeans.
• They have boots on sale here with too many to mention but I think I like shoes better (inexpensive boots can get be tricky to get right if you know what I mean).

Mango
Head here for fabulous pieces at great prices. They are European so they work in the season ahead. This means they have the trends first plus they have a few summer pieces in already. Off to St Tropez soon? Head here… They are on sale too… Best buys are:

• The bronze leather biker jacket is now $199 from $400. The colour is a bit over the top but I know there are cool people out there who will love a leather jacket that is not black.
• But if you do then you shall have the fabulous black leather biker jacket: a must buy because it has black zips: this makes it look less tough and less well, Hell’s Angels. And you know they are outlawed so the sooner you don’t look one the better. This is on sale now for $199. You know how to wear this. Pretty it up over a sexy dress, or wear it with a full flirty skirt. Otherwise best to toss it over skinny grey jeans and a tee. A leather biker jacket has hit the tipping point this season so don’t go out spending a fortune. It’s best to buy a leather jacket cut like a blazer or even a cardigan. Like Rick Owens.
• There are winter jacket coats galore here on sale: Love the navy single breasted cotton trench, belted and about ¾ length. We all need one $159. My name is FiFi and I am addicted to Trench coats.
• Also on the sale rack is a black, seriously quilted coat: it even has fake fur trim on the cuffs to keep you warm. And a hood. And a belt. Not a Sydney coat really but for those of you freezing in other states, a great buy $199.
• Love the black cotton jersey, slinky, harem pants, cropped to the knee (and not with such a hanging crutch) $69. Handy to wear into next summer.
• Buy the navy wool felt bomber jacket with a black cotton rib trim on sale now $99. Also on sale is a cute brown fake fur crop jacket. It’s very square with crop sleeves: it will work over a chic black knit and a pencil skirt or just with jeans.
• Feeling a little chilly? There is a rack of puffa jackets too on sale.
• In the summer collection there is a fabulous navy cotton shrunken blazer with front patch pockets $149. Wear this now over a white tee or over a grey marle tee and your peg leg pants. Or back with a flirty skirt… it’s the perfect trans-seasonal buy.
• Also check out the bright coloured hippy (and summery) long sleeve tops in orange and the big oversized slouch one handle bags.
• There are fabulous printed tees here, as well as acid washed denim jackets, with a zip up the front and very faded and dyed $139. But my pick is the very Azzedine Alaia inspired dark denim biker jacket with a navy rib knit $129. Love it.

Bardot
You might never go in here and why would you if you are over 20? But please don’t be put off by the air of, um, er, er,… Bardot. There are some great fashion items here if you are clever such as my good self and sniff them out. It’s worth a visit… My picks:

• Check out the most fabulous - you must have it - Balenciaga-style black wool military blazer: it is double breasted with silver military buttons and a grosgrain trim on the edges. This is what you want to wear with harem pants or with skinny jeans. Try it over a grey marle tee or even, dare I say, a white shirt. Keep it fresh and chic. And what a price… $139. Good on you Bardot. (It takes a while for the fashion to work its way down to mainstream this was first seen on the runway in Feb 2007.)
• Buy the fake, sorry, faux leather sheepskin shearling bomber jacket: the choc brown one is not bad but of course if you want it to look more expensive then buy the black one. It’s short and cropped with a zip across the front. Again, very Balenciaga from about 2007 (all the models were wearing them at the latest shows in Paris so I say this is cool. (Check it out here at jac&Jil.)
• I see some hot pink. Ewww… and then I see… a body suit! OMG… it’s so Donna Karan 1990. Yes, it even has the same little press studs that do up under there to keep it in place. There is a horrid watermelon pink (no thank you) so, of course, you want the black. It has a wide almost boat neckline and then it’s cut in a very bandage Herve Leger kind of way. This is for you if you do not have any muffin anything (on hips or tummy). $69
• There are also some fabulous bandage Herve Leger/Alaia style tight dresses along the same lines. I do see it in bright royal blue and I will love you if you can actually carry that colour off. Otherwise there is a chic black version with a V neck: it’s pretty short. It’s hot. Body Con 80’s dresses were all over the runways for next winter. So put down that iced donut and stop eating. Now. $129
• Also check out the excellent black (or grey cotton) long boyfriend blazer. Tip: A boyfriend jackets sits over the bottom and is a little looser than a strict tailored blazer. This one has stripe satin lining so you turn up the sleeves. Wear this over a mini or with something narrow under it. Even leggings or narrow jeans. Best with a round neck knit or a tee. These jackets don’t suit frou frou or shirts. $119
• Love the black leather zip front jacket with a hood: it’s quite nice leather. Very Stella McCartney from last season. I like this version of a leather jacket because it’s a little sporty so you can wear it on weekends. Of course if you are not in a corporate office you could wear it to work with a pencil skirt. You could also rock this look with black peg legs or with hot pink shorts (Ha only joking. Hot pink? Here at FiFi.com.au? Only in the recipes…) $449

SES
This has to be seen to be believed: the prices here are ridiculous! So outrageously cheap (there is no other word) as you can see in the Cheap but Chic this week. There are some great fashion items here. You can buy 3 jackets for a total of $100 and get you through winter looking fabulous. This is recessionista heaven. My picks are:

• Love the fantastic navy moleskin double breasted peacoat: it’s a very square shape but it’s an outrageous $29. Think it must be on sale. It has black buttons. It comes in stone as well. Love it.
• You want the black wool melton double breasted military jacket: it has silver buttons and is amazingly chic. An on sale for an incredible $39… very Balenciaga.
• The simple chic long line ribbed dark grey cardigan with a self belt $29… love it in darkest chic grey but it’s also in black, cream, caramel, red. Wear it over a flirty skirt and toss on another leather belt.
• Love the gorgeous caramel oatmeal cotton long line cardigan (not ribbed) for you special price for $19… (cheaper than Italian Vogue or lunch).
• You want the chinos in a grey or stone: simple, easy cut but what can you say when they are $24?
• Buy the black grey stripe hoodie long sleeve tee: it’s in a soft cotton jersey and has a scoop neckline (I am afraid to say: scoops are normally banned in The FiFi Report) it’s also a white and grey stripe but it’s quite chic and perfect for weekend wear. Wear it over a white tank and you get over that scoop situation. Anyway it’s $19 so shut up and buy it.
• Also check out the black (or grey sleeveless) zip front puffa vest that is quilted with a detachable hood: it’s a great buy and I think I need it for $24. Will it keep you warm? Probably not in New Zealand!
• And last but not least check out the skinny rib knit grand pa top with a V neck and a few buttons down the front for $15. In black, grey, caramel and purple. Amazing. This should be illegal it’s so cheap.

Business Class:

Arthur Galan
Love this store. You want to buy everything: the cut and the quality is fabulous. My picks are:

• The black and white graphic tapestry print wool dress: its so gorgeous. Very tailored and fitted to the waist with a round neckline and split up the front with a sneaky black satin insert. Sounds fussy but no, no, no it’s actually dead simple and chic. Wear a knit under it if you must or just wear it under a coat. $498. Also in an amazing gold tapestry.
• Love the short black, cocoon jacket with a round neck. It’s in the moist incredible fabric of subtle lace pressed onto black gabardine. It has amazing very interesting layered details on the big puff cocoon sleeves $698. Wear this over a simple knit with a high waist skirts or pants. It’s a stunner.
• Adore the floral pink, brown, purple paisley blouse with big poet’s sleeves. This is a nice way to bring in colour and print and keep it on the top of the body. Love it under a blazer with the cuffs sticking out $298.
• Adore the paisley floral chiffon dress: very similar to the blouse and it will look gorgeous with black opaques and your own black belt. Toss a biker jacket over the top. $498
• There is a simple grey ruched cardigan with a grey front and black back, it’s very long with long V neck $249. This is a great lazy slut cardigan for relaxing at home.
• You want the absolutely divine purple chiffon halter neck dress: it has a huge flower sitting at the front of the neckline. It has a draped front and cutaway sleeves. It’s definitely not a day dress. $598
• You want the simple easy elastic sleeve tee. In oatmeal wool jersey or a divine grey marle it has a V neck and a batwing sleeve. Drop dead easiness. Layer it over a white tee or just wear it under all your jackets. $198.
• You want the sensational Victor and Rolf short ankle boots, quite fabulous.

Bettina Liano
Head here for a lot of lace, jeans and floral silk tartan dresses. Or I suggest you buy…

• The chic de la chic sleeveless jacket in black wool gabardine: it has a self belt and it’s virtually a jacket sans sleeves and very YSL. It’s called a ‘soft suiting vest‘ and I want it. You do too because this is a hot look. Also because it’s so trans-seasonal and perfect for climate change. Love it over a Metallicus sheer top if you need to wave your arms to your friends in public. Or want to cover your muffin arms. Or you might like to keep warm so wear it over rib knit tee with your new harem pants. $375
• Love the Chanel style jacket in faded pale frayed denim: it is the classic Chanel style that is collarless with a round neckline and cropped with silver buttons on frayed patch pockets on the front; it’s a beauty. Very fashion but if you tone it down with classic pieces it will be chic. $295. Also in black and white tweed but the buttons are hideous so you can change them. I insist.
• The peacoat is a fab buy: it’s in a black wool melton (Of course! A peacoat will never be in a colour) and it has chic gunmetal buttons and epaulettes. Every wardrobe needs a peacoat and you will wear this again and again. $550
• Love the black leather bomber jacket with silver zip and buttons: it has a black rib detail trim along the bottom and epaulettes: Yes, another leather jacket but they are everywhere and it’s my duty to report when I see something fab. $750
• If you want some floral/print/colour (What?!) then check out the pretty dress with a red blue circle floral print: it has a full skirt and is fitted to the waist. It does have some kind of weird bows on the sleeves but you can live with that $395. Remember just add stomp-a-licious heels and layer it over a black knit and you will be warm for winter.
• Checkout the black or grey skinny jeans about $220. You need these. Nuf said.

First Class:

Hugo Boss
There are always divine, very classic pieces here. On sale with 40% off these prices! Woo Hoo! My picks are:

• The divine leather black blazer; simple chic and in gorgeous leather. You shall have it. You shall go to the ball. $1700
• You want the light grey belted wool melton coat. This is a serious winter coat: It’s double breasted with tortoiseshell buttons and it’s quite luxurious and great for cold winter days $989. Also in black.
• Adore the grey faux snakeskin but real leather bomber jacket with a detachable caramel wool hoodie. How clever: it has a zip front and is quite the coolest thing. $1900
• Love the softest, palest most gorgeous caramel suede blazer with one single button and two pockets on the front $2000. Divine. Perfect for playing with children and cooking beetroot gnocchi.
• Buy the knit sweater with blue/brown/caramel wide stripe. It has long sleeves and low round neckline (OMG it’s nearly a scoop!) but the colours are fabulous and it will love to go out with jeans or tossed back with a flirty skirt. Then it will love to go to bar for a champagne. $329
• Love the beautiful quality knit tops and tees here: Especially the grey long sleeve tee in a fine knit. $379
• Check out the burgundy knit sleeveless sweater dress with its own leather belt. It has a polo neck and is a narrow cut. $849
• Buy the wool melton black wrap skirt. It has brown buttons that sit asymmetrically and so it’s almost an A line shape. It sits just above the knee and will look fabulous with a leather bomber jacket and boots. This is a good work skirt. Love it with a classic knit and a trench coat. $699
• You want the black fine rib knit polo neck sweater $349. Everyone needs a polo neck knit that can sit easily under a jacket without making you feel bulky and constricted. Like a big fatty Arbuckle. Who wants to feel like that after all that dieting and saying no to chocolate cake? This sweater is soft and chic and all you need.

Gucci
I nicked in here to check it out: Never the same since Tom Ford left - boo hoo - but there are some great shoes and if you go past the Hawaiian print shirts there are gorgeous clothes. My picks are:

• The amazing black leather jacket with serious brass studs all over it: very editorial as they say: Very Rock star and very out there. $6000
• There are some new summery pieces in store such as the choc brown choc tunic dress: it has gold eyelets that lace up the front plus cute cutout details along the hem. $1800. Perfect for the yacht in Cannes. Also in a rusty animal print silk. $1400
• Love the red jersey batwing mini dress: it has a deep V neck that could slip off your shoulder, and has a big disc brooch on the side $1300. Very sexy and simple. Just add heels and a clutch. Maybe a big stone necklace. And George Clooney.
• You want the grey skinny jeans: You do. $710
• There is a rather pretty, one shoulder black and white chiffon floral top about $900. Love this back with the grey jeans or with harem pants. It will work under a leather jacket too. But it probably hates work so don’t make it do anything.
• Checkout the fabulous caramel moc-croc T bar with amazingly high platforms $1000, also in black with a gold trim. LOVE. These are “I die go bananas via Rachel Zoe’ fabulous.
• Love the simple belts here with a silver or gold G buckle about $400. A designer belt will instantly update everything asleep and snoring in your wardrobe.
• Love the soft pink round toe wedges, so outrageously high. About $1000. Buy two.
• In the bags I do like the big oversized, slouchy black or brown bags with one handle and top zip about $2500. With a little big of gold hardware but nothing too outrageously over the top. Please stay away from the logos.

Belinda MLC
There are too many clothes in here to mention each one individually. Head here ‘toot suite’ to drool, drool and drool more over the new summer collections. You will adore the bright and colourful Dries Van Noten, the outrageous, over the top Marc Jacobs collection, and the incredible Givenchy collection. Mmm… Which is just about all black. You must check out the to-die-for-must-have-drool-worthy-I-think-I-will-go-to-heaven Lanvin. Plus there is amazing jeweled necklaces form Ericson Beamon and of course all the most incredible Marni necklaces (and clothes). Fabulous.

Ferragamo is on sale!
There are divine bags in every colour and shape with some at 50% off. Plus you want gorgeous round toe ballets with the Ferragamo buckle on the toe… all reduced… run in there now. If you can in your heels. Or just hail a cab and get them to step on it…..

Beetroot Gnocchi… adulterated from Wino Sapien and from an old FiFi recipe.

I hate pink. I won’t wear it but I will eat it. This beetroot gnocchi is embarrassingly easy to cook. In fact it is the quickest meal ever known to mankind and is easier to do than opening a packet of pasta with your teeth and about 100 times more delicious. (And takes less time to cook then reading this babble).

Here’s the quick version:

• Roast beetroot a couple of hours beforehand
.
• Whizz the beetroot, ricotta, flour, olive oil and an egg.
• Boil water
.
• Drop mixture in water.
• Eat!

Remember it takes 5 minutes so be ready to eat. No running away thinking you can do hair and makeup. All pre-production must be attended to beforehand so you’re ready to eat pronto…

You need for 2 fat bloggers, 20 thin models, 1 x sad swine victim
(Double it if you are hungry)

2 small beetroots
250g fresh ricotta (not the packet type please or it won’t work: you need fresh, fresh, fresh)
25g plain flour
1 egg
1 tablespoon olive oil
pinch salt and poivre

Serve with basil or pesto, or walnuts/pinenuts or a sprinkling of herbs and parmesan cheese.

• Slip into a hot pink dress. Or an outfit that will not notice beetroot stains.
• Climb out of white Dior heels.
• Pour a wine.
• Pop on chic washing gloves then scrub the beetroot and toss in oven to roast with olive oil and salt and pepper. For an hour or so.
• Let it cool.
• Now whizz in a whizzer all the above ingredients. It will take 2 seconds.
• Leave it in the bowl of the whizzer. (No need to roll it out and get your hands covered in pink.)
• Now make sure you have the accessories ready: Whatever you are going to serve it with because you have to eat it as soon as it’s cooked. (I suggest chopped basil, garlic, walnuts tossed in olive oil.)
• Boil water. You can ask George Clooney to attend to this tricky task.
• Now spoon 1 teaspoon of Gnocchi straight from the whizzer and with another teaspoon scrape the mixture into the boiling water.
• Plop it in.
• The gnocchi will float to the top when it’s cooked. Leave the ones that are cooked floating while you plop the other ones in.
• Ne paniquez pas, it will look terrible. Seriously lumpy. You’ll look at it say is ‘Oh god I hope my legs don’t look like that? What the?’
• Keep Calm and Carry on.
• Pour a wine.
• After a couple of minutes it should have all floated to the top.
• Find a slotted spoon and just carefully skim the gnocchi out of boiling water onto a warm plate.
• Accessorise with chopped basil, garlic, walnuts or pinenuts tossed in olive oil or with a scattering of pesto.
• You need some parmesan, lots of sea salt and poivre plus crusty bread.
• Fabulous.