• ‘I love good red wine. White wine is nice, too. I love Guinness. I never get drunk to the point of throwing up or anything. But I get very warm and talkative.’ Gwyneth Paltrow in elleuk.com
• ‘Man, I wish smoking didn’t kill you; I’d be smoking right now. I miss it. The last cigarette I smoked was the day I found out I was pregnant with Apple. I had to sit down and smoke one final cigarette. It’s such a beautiful thing. I’m so pissed off it gives you cancer. But I’ve decided that when I’m about 70 I’m going to start smoking again. Why not? I can’t wait!’ Gwyneth must be drunk (sounding warm and talkative).
• “God forbid he hit a bong; go ask your 20-year-old kid what they did last weekend” Ashton Kutcher defends Michael Phelps over his pot smoking. Pissed off he will be 70 long after Demi.
• ‘I just got out of sweatpants, out of Mummy mode. I love fashion, but when you’re breastfeeding and you’re a stone-and-a-half overweight, it’s demoralising to try to wear good clothes.’ It’s demoralising to be fat.
• “I hope she’s happy - whatever size that comes in,” says her ex-husband Nick Lachey on Jessica Simpson’s Weight Gain. Demoralised.
• “Real beauty is on the inside, man,” Pete Wentz Speaks out on Jessica Simpson’s weight …you know you’re fat when people say beauty is on the inside.
• “You got replaced by Jessica Simpson!” Matt Lauer to President Obama about the newest issue of Us Weekly featuring a portrait of his family. (Obama is covered up by a shot Of Jessica Simpson).
• “Yeah, it’s a little hurtful,” Barack Obama replies he was crushed to be cut from the cover.
• ‘I hate that my shrink is in New York because I’d still be going all the time. I think anyone who can afford it should be in therapy.’ Gwyneth. Anyone who can afford it needs it.
• “Her dad and I have told her she has six beautiful children. Why do you want more? She is a good person but a little misguided.” The mother of the single woman who just had Octuplets (who already has 6 children). What?! …Misguided. She can’t afford Therapy.
• ‘I love good red wine. White wine is nice, too. I love Guinness. I never get drunk to the point of throwing up or anything. But I get very warm and talkative.’ Gwyneth Paltrow in elleuk.com
Everyone is saying the ‘It’ bag is over. Perhaps. But when I look at the Sartorialist.com I don’t see any fashion editors actually leaving their serious designer bags at home. Except Anna Wintour and the French Vogue girls but they don’t count: they have a car to follow them (they don’t need a bag). But in these times of a volatile Economy and climate we all need a new bag. Especially a new bag you can take to the supermarket. Who can bear to go out carrying something green? Green? Sorry I don’t do that colour even in the supermarket. Now I am very happy to have discovered Bagladies and the Louis Who? bag. Fun, chic and so good for the environment. Now you just have to remember to get them out of the car. And my other bags are Prada…
Louis Who? bag from bagladies.com.au From $10.
What: Sharp shoulder jacket
Witch: You want, you need, you must have a jacket with shoulder pads. Pick yourself up from the ground. Grab a paper bag. Breathe. You know a strong shoulder jacket is back. I have been talking about in the fashion for months. I told you the blazer was hot about a year ago. Now you need a little reminder. After all the haute Couture shows last week in Paris were crazy for them. And you will be too. You want a jacket that has sharp shoulders. Not round shoulders a la 80’s Armani. You want a single breasted jacket with a nipped in waist. You want a strong shouldered jacket in black or navy. Keep away from bright colours. You want a jacket in wool, tweed, gaberdine or boucle. It can have plain buttons or brass military buttons or Chanel buttons. (You wish). It should be shorter rather than longer.
Why: Because a sharp jacket is new. (This is seriously important in fashion). We haven’t seen it in years. Because some of you haven’t even seen one. Ever. Bless… Because it works back with skinny pants and cute skirts. Because it works in any season. Summer to winter. Because it’s versatile. You can throw a jacket over everything from dresses to jeans. Because it will make your waist look smaller. Because it will give your fat, slobby, lumpy figure a new shape.
Wear: With a white tank and ripped jeans a la Balmain. With a cute floral dress or with crop pants. You can see you have to keep the neckline clean. So go for round neck tanks, sheer tops, or simple knits. You can even belt the jacket in with an Obi belt.
Where: Balmain, Marc Jacobs,Louis Vuitton,Balenciaga Also try Karen Walker, Max and Co, Zimmerman, Witchery.
Reasons why you need the Clarins Body Oil:
- Your legs squeak as you walk.
- When you hug children they scream.
- Your boyfriend doesn’t want you any where near his new gleaming car.
- You can use your bare arms to file your nails.
- Your puppy has mistaken your legs for a tree.
- Because this ultra-fine, dry oil texture helps to ‘revitalize your skin’. Perfect for salty, sandy summer arms and legs that need moisterising after a shower. It works miracles and it will sink into your make your sad, dry, rough skin making it soft and smooth. Plus it smells lovely. Love it.
$69 Clarins Invigorating Fragrance Satin Finish Body Oil from David Jones and Myer.
• Enter Obama…Vanity Fair reports… Vanityfair.com(see above)
• Love magazine’s first issue is all about the “Fashion and Fame,” which feature Iggy Pop, a violet-haired Iris Strubegger, and Agyness Deyn as Queen Elizabeth II. The editor Katie Grand is planning a big launch on Feb. 19 when the magazine comes out reports Fashionologie. (see above)
• Now that PETA got their most recent target, Donna Karan to vow not to use fur, they’ve turned all their attention to Giorgio Armani. The organization took a full page ad out in today’s Variety depicting Armani with an elongated nose, urging Oscar attendees to shun Armani’s designs on the red carpet, since the designer apparently broke a promise to avoid using fur….reports fashionologie (see above)
• Lanvin’s spring 2009 ad campaign shot by Steven Meisel is out, starring Iselin Steiro.(see below)
• ‘From the bland to the blonde. When the celebrity supermodel phenomenon ground to a halt, fashion went super-dull. The catwalks were filled with a parade of nameless, faceless, homogenous clotheshorses. Then came Agyness Deyn. Lynn Barber meets the Lancashire girl turned international style icon. Read the story here Guardian.co.uk
• ‘Over 50 years, Yves Saint Laurent and his partner, Pierre Bergé, built up one of the most revered art collections in the world. The highly sought after library includes three Mondrians, a Picasso, a Cézanne, an early Matisse cut-out, three Légers, several Géricaults and lots of their collection of Jean-Michel Frank Art Deco furniture. Before the pieces are auctioned at the Grand Palais in Paris next month, highlights of the sale are on display to the public at Christie’s showroom in St James’s, London. Amazing. Christies.com
• It’s Model Coco Rocha singing Beyonce…ohsococo ! so cute. Put a ring on it.
• We love photographer Bill Cunningham from the New York Times! Listen to this charming man talk about his photos, skirt lengths, hem lines, and how it reflects the economy nytimes.com
• Gisele Bündchen is raising awareness for AIDS by posing for Elle in a shoot featuring (RED) Campaign brands, including iPods and Converse, plus products from American Express and Armani. The shoot will feature in more than 30 international editions of the magazine. Check out the video here joinred.blogspot.com
• This season, The New York Times Magazine worked behind the scenes at the Paris Haute Couture with the photographer Ellen von Unwerth. “We travelled from show to show with a mini-studio — a seamless backdrop and a couple of lights - to create quick and dirty tableaux vivants amid the chaos of the backstage. Here’s how it all went down. nytimes.com
• ‘The It bag is over. Cue the hit shoe. Like an attention-grabbing wild child who finally grew up, the handbag has resumed its former role as a polite appendage to the family of fashion’ says Suzy Menkes… read about it here
• ‘Jennifer Connelly wore Balmain’s gorgeous emerald green, bold-shouldered from the Spring 2009 collection to the premiere of He’s Just Not That Into You. Says Style.com
• Life in Vogue: The fashionable world of Alexandra Shulman. As editor of UK Vogue, Alexandra Shulman is one of the most important people in fashion. But how does she feel about the luxury-goods business now that recession is biting? Read the fascinating article here: Independent.co.uk
• ‘The Spring 2009 Jean Paul Gaultier ads have Lara Stone going natural shot with her with the ankle wrap she had to wear in real life late last year “as a result of a little Nicholas Kirkwood for Rodarte heel trouble. “ Says fashionologie (see below)
farfetch.com is a new online store that ships to Australia! Just in time for next season and the recession. (Please don’t mention the war). It combines 10 cities, 20 fashion boutiques, 200 designers into 1 website. This new concept means you can shop from boutiques in Paris, London, Florence and Copenhagen in just a few seconds, all from the comfort of your own home or office’. McQueen, Balenciaga, Givenchy, Marc Jacobs, and Marni. Need we say more? At the moment there is 60% off. Who needs a new car when you can have more shoes?
This a beautiful site. ‘Nomenus Quarterly is a collaborative publication and platform, working with artists of all mediums and disciplines within the worlds of fine arts and fashion’.Check out an interview with US Vogue’s Sally singer, and divine photos of the Row, Jean Paul Gaultier Couture and Helmut Lang.
• “Admit it — you’re one of the 85,554 fans of Aretha Franklin’s Inauguration Day hat on Facebook. We are, and we’re proud. We just received one of the best press releases ever, informing us that, thanks to the outpouring of Hat fascination and press (People! The Tonight Show! WWD!), the Smithsonian has requested the “now iconic” Hat to display in the museum alongside Michelle Obama’s Isabel Toledo and Jason Wu ensembles” reports nymag.com and the photo from pinkisthenewblog. (see above)
• ” Jesus is the Brazilian male model with whom Madonna did a photo shoot in Brazil in December before kidnapping him as her lover, thrusting him onto the round bed on her private plane, forcing him to wear skin-tight zebra-print boxer-briefs and a blindfold, while dancing to “Erotic” as they jetted around the world. Well, we don’t know if that’s true, but they’ve been seen going in and out of restaurants together, so they appear to be dating”. She has found Jesus. nymag.com (see above)
• “Just days after revealing to the world Christmas cookies are her Kryptonite Jessica Simpson bravely performed in while wearing leather pants. She thanked the crowd for their support and told them to “Stay positive and pray out loud!” All of this would’ve been a touching, poignant moment of self-empowerment, except for the four rolls of electrical tape wrapped around Jessica’s stomach. I’m 90% certain she’s dressing herself in a locked room then bolting on stage before anyone can stop her.” Says thesuperficial. (see above)
• Ricky Gervais’ plan to return Paris Hilton to the United States in exchange for Victoria Beckham is brilliant.
• “The British tabloids report Victoria Beckham is already scooping out homes and schools in Italy, so these people are looking to get the hell out. Which makes total sense. With Tom Cruise in Brazil, now’s the time to flee the country. That way, there’s no chance he’ll smuggle himself inside a vase and pop out at their new home. “Surprise!” says the superficial.
• Jessica Simpson’s Latest Movie Goes Straight to DVD…Who would have thought?
• Angelina Jolie says: “I’m Rooting for Brad” on Oscar Night …Rooting Brad.
• George Clooney has hooked up with some slutty dumb game show girl. Who would have thought?Not rooting for her.
• Yes! There is a site now devoted to Michelle Obama.…Mrs O!
• Scarlet Johannsen is a brunette. This is called news.
• Another day another set of pictures of David Beckham looking hot for Emporio Armani. (see below)
• Dustin Hoffman can’t believe that US magazine covered up Obama on the cover to show Fat Jessica Simpson. (see below)
The Story of Edgar Sawtelle: A Novel
It’s gutsy for a debut novelist to offer a modern take on Hamlet set in rural Wisconsin–particularly one in which the young hero, born mute, communicates with people, dogs, and the occasional ghost through his own mix of sign and body language. But David Wroblewski’s extraordinary way with language in The Story of Edgar Sawtelle immerses readers in a living, breathing world that is both fantastic and utterly believable. In selecting for temperament and a special intelligence, Edgar’s grandfather started a line of unusual dogs–the Sawtelles–and his sons carried on his work. But among human families, undesirable traits aren’t so easily predicted, and clashes can erupt with tragic force. Edgar’s tale takes you to the extremes of what humans must endure, and when you’re finally released, you will come back to yourself feeling wiser, and flush with gratitude. And you will have remembered what magnificent alchemy a finely wrought novel can work.
David Wroblewski is a master storyteller, and his breathtaking scenes–the elemental north woods, the sweep of seasons, an iconic American barn, a fateful vision rendered in the falling rain–create a riveting family saga, a brilliant exploration of the limits of language, and a compulsively readable modern class
$14 Publisher: Ecco (September 19, 2008) amazon.com
The Christmas List:
Valentina: American Couture and the Cult of Celebrity by Kohle Yohannan
Valentina was the twentieth century’s first American fashion designer celebrity, working and living on equal social footing with the clientele she dressed (Greta Garbo, Gloria Swanson, Katharine Hepburn, Millicent Rogers, and Audrey Hepburn, among others). One of the few designers who proved that America could live without the Parisian haute couture, her career is a much needed missing link in the history of American fashion. Beyond merely turning out show-stopping evening gowns, Valentina’s exotic beauty, dramatic personality, and incomparable style earned her a legendary reputation. Kohle Yohannan explores the carefully constructed persona and lore of this designer who helped define American Couture. Published in association with the Museum of the City of New York’s exhibition Valentina: New York Couture and the Cult of Celebrity, this book includes photographs, never-before-seen personal ephemera, sketches, and original platinum prints from master photographers such as Cecil Beaton, Horst P. Horst, and George Hoyningen-Huene.
$47 Publisher: Rizzoli (February 17, 2009) amazon.com
A few new season pieces are coming into store. The accessories are always great here. Best buys are:
• Love the YSL style high waist black peg leg pants. So right on the money for this season. High waist, tick. Short crop length, tick. Pleat front, tick. Don’t make that face. You will get used to front pleat pants and shoulder pads and all things 80’s ish. You want these pants; they have with a belt tie, stop at the knee and seem to be in pinstripe gaberdine. What more to you want for $79? Wear with a white tank, your Balmain sharp shoulder jacket, and those Dior heels you never take off.
• The cream silk paisley full skirt with floral print on hem and ribbon tie belt on the drop waist is cute, $99. I like a pretty skirt to wear now. Just make sure you add a little toughness to the prettiness or you might look like Miss goody two shoes. Wear some gladiators and a tank. You might just take off the belt and add a black leather one.
• There is a shirred waist black dress with a very cleavage sweat heart neckline, a little 50’s style. Wear this now. You can never have too many black dresses, $129.
• Check out the big diamante necklace that is very Lanvin inspired. The oversized statement necklace is the hot accessory and so this is great for those on a budget: 99% of the world, $29.95.
• Also check out very Givenchy multi strand necklaces with a mix of silver, pearls and chains. Wear a la Givenchy with all black. Not for wearing with pretty frou frou floral dresses. Please, $34.
I see the next season sprint summer is coming in store as they work on the European season. Good news. You want:
• The fabulous very YSL inspired sleeveless waistcoat/jacket. You know the one; every fashion editor was seen in it and we all drooled over it on the runway last summer. This one is in a very dark navy, and has a looser belt with pockets at the front. Wear this with peg leg short pants and a simple Tee or with an A line flirty skirt and heels. Always heels, $219.
• Of course mango has the perfect pants to work back with the jacket: Navy peg leg pants with a high waist..Oh so YSL…yes please, $139.
• Love the white pea coat with black buttons in a cotton drill. It’s fabulous, very French and sharp. Throw it over leggings and some colour under it. You could wear this when playing in the mud puppies or cooking chocolate cake with the kids, $289.
• I saw it weeks ago and it’s still here and I still love it and you will too: the black Strapless jumpsuit ..it has wide legs not skinny which makes it a little easier to wear if you are scared of jumpsuits. Don’t be. You don’t need to jump out of plane, $139.
• Love the black leather Chanel style jacket with puff sleeves. Again I spied this jacket a couple of weeks ago and it’s worth trying on. You need a leather jacket and this one will love to go many places with you. Even Rehab, $559.
• You want a fitted blazer this season and you want the stone/tan/beige cotton fitted jacket. It has brown buttons and front pockets. Fabulous also in navy, $149. Wear it over a pretty dress, with skinny pants, shorts.
• Love the Navy and white classic stripe top. You can wear this with high waist dark denim jeans and your fitted blazer. And toss on some Chanel pearls.
• I spy a cool clutch bag in a Bronze/gold/navy stripe glitter Lurex fabric with a chain strap $119. Sounds tacky and it might be. But I like it. It will resuscitate all those sad things in your wardrobe.
• They are so clever in here. Cheap but chic central. Keep your sunglasses on because everything, including the light, is a little too bright and colourful. But I found a few pieces that would work on people over 30. True. You want:
• The cool black jersey harem pants. Wear them, thrash them, love and leave them. They are $25.
• Check out the black and white Racer back tanks in so many colours from $14. A wardrobe basic. Throw in the washing machine and wear till the end of summer.
• Adore the very YSL resort white cotton dress with a bright painterly print splashed all over it. The colours are fabulous but it’s very short so I suggest you wear it as a top. It has a loose shape with shoestring straps, $50. You could belt it in or just wear to the beach. (see left)
• Check out the dresses in the same shape and in every colour under the sun…It’s called the strappy swing min dress, $39.
• If you can you will wear the sequin waistcoat in black or silver. If you buy this you don’t need me to tell you how to wear it, $50.
• Love thee cute little soft chambray denim full skirt with orange stitching, and brown buttons all the way down the front. It has a self-belt but you can loose that. Just wear it with a simple white tank and tan heels. And a Miu Miu bag, $45.
• OMG I see Denim Leggings $28. Who can wear those? Fabulous.
So many fabulous new pieces in store that you want to wear now. My picks are:
• Adore the long sleeve tie neck print dress with a black background and small subtle print. This is good for those who are not wildly into prints it’s that vintage English look. Wear now with stomp a licious sandals and wear later with black opaques and boots. You could even throw one of your 10 trench coats over it, $249.
• Love the simple cream long sleeve tie neck blouse with fuller sleeves, $149. You know I have been going on about the blouse and the pussy bow. Just remember as I have said you need to sex it up or you will look like Mrs Doubtfire. So undo the tie, throw on something short, or just go for outrageously high heels. And forget about walking. Anywhere. It’s a car and a driver or nothing.
• You will live in the dark charcoal pants with a wider leg. Dare I say flare? They are a little higher in the waist. But you love that now don’t you? For god sakes try on the high waist and get used to it. It will suck in the peanut butter toast sitting on your tummy. It will make your legs look longer. It will make you look cool. It will aid peace in the Middle East. What more do you want? Newer and more interesting than black grey is the hot colour. Wear these pants instead of jeans and with a pretty blouse or knit. Wear now with a white tank and your new Bally heels, $179.
• Also buy the dark denim high waist flare Jeans, $129. See all the reasons above. A must buy.
• For winter best to invest now in the black double breasted Military pea coat, so French this is the coat you need. What a bargain at $349.
• Love the trench. My name is FiFi and I am addicted. And I want the camel stone double breasted belted military Trench. It has brown buttons, epaulettes and is just above the knee. I wish it were just a little longer, $349. Also in black. A must buy for the visit to Trench Rehab. (see left)
• You want the stone/tan crinkled cotton short pea coat; a great buy. It’s very trans seasonal and perfect for when it gets a little cooler. Wear tossed over your jeans or with a little flirty dress or skirt.
• I spy long gloves if you can bear to think about wearing them, $79.
Paul and Joe:
On sale…the new collections are dribbling in. Best buys are:
• Love the Black satin V-neck tunic with bat wing short sleeves and cute black sequins on the sleeves. Very short. Gwyneth would look good in this but you should wear it with leggings or even over jeans. Sorry. You are not Gwyneth. Someone had to tell you. On sale from $995 to now $349.
• Buy the black or stone silk big poets sleeved blouse with a pussy bow neckline and a little subtle pattern in the fabric now $199. This is really the shirt of the season. Wear it now with shorts, wear it in autumn with jeans and heels, and wear in winter under your leather jacket. A must buy.
• Buy the simple grey knit tank now on sale $199 from $395.
• You want the fabulous grey gaberdine wide neck dress with short cut off sleeves and an inverted pleat down the front. It has 2 side slit pockets and is a loose cut. Very chic. You could belt it in if you wanted to show off the waist. Or leave it and hide those almond Magnums lurking on your hips now $299 from about $800.
• Buy the bright swirl print Kaftan dress with a black and white stripe and big flowers scattered on the front. It’s almost a poncho cut and very short with a V-neck. Wear this when you’re going poolside or to the Yacht club. Or you could wear it out for a drink if are Tamara Mellon and have fabulous legs and truck loads of shoes….if you don’t stop crying and put down that fried Chocolate donut…Now $699 from $995.
• There are also a few fabulous choc brown or blue V neck knit cashmere sweaters now on sale $279 and lots more…
• Love the new season Paul and Joe Sista just arrived. You want the black cotton tunic dress with lacing and eyelets down the front $285. It’s also in paisley print in a silk, which is gorgeous.
I see the first winter collection has arrived in store. Very Work orientated dressing. Which is hard to think about when you are sitting in your bikini like me eating mango. Best buys are:
• Love the black leather bomber jacket with a silver zip, $499. A little word on the bomber jacket. Yes, it’s been around for a few seasons and was an item du jour in The FiFi Report waaay back. Of course you would have run out and bought one then when you were told to and had years of wear. But ne panickez pas. You can still buy one now and wear it all winter and probably into next. The trend is about to peak. Wear with a pretty skirt and monster shoes. Wear over a vintage floral dress; wear over a white tank and skinny ripped jeans. (see left)
• Buy the cute loose, silky grey print floral dress. It has V-neck and that high empire shape that is actually quite flattering because it skims not clings, $299.
• Love the skinny black denim jeans, always a fabulous cut here even if you are curvy, $149.
• Check out the very chic taupe fine knit cape. It’s actually a wrap and they give you instructions on how to wear it 3 ways. How thoughtful, $179.
• Also the classic black pants are always a flattering cut on most shapes wether you look like Jessica Simpson or Jessica Alba (pregnant).
• I spy a stone or black single-breasted trench in cotton, $379. Looks good but I see there are a lot of the clothes are in red and it’s a little scary. Probably why it’s called Fire Engine Red. You want to scream Help and Dial 000 when you see it.
Love the new season summer 09 collection. You want:
• The divine black ruched square Nappa Leather shoulder bag with a gold chain strap. Oh la la. It has a tortoiseshell and gold clasp. It’s called Agora when you go in to buy it, $1225.
• Also buy the clutch version. It’s in a tan colour as well for you, $1125.
• Love the amazing black suede and snakeskin ankle strap sandals. Very snazz a licious. They have a platform, and a kind of snakeskin appliqué on the side with 3 buttons. Fabulous and seriously high, $750. You might need an oxygen mask up there in that altitude.
• Buy the Bronze lizard skin peep toe heels. They will add a bit of vava voom to any wardrobe. Wear with everything. From your bikini to your (fake) fur coat you need never take them off. Who cares if your boyfriend wakes up with a few heel marks.
• You want the outrageous brown and cream python (bless the python) 2 handle tote with gold hardware for you, $3500. It’s very over the top.
• Drool over the silver, black, bronze and antique gold lurex glitter clutch with a gold clasp, $1880.
• Buy the T bar caramel suede heels with black top stitching and a peep toe. So high you need to wear a seat belt. Parachute is optional. Divine, $750.
• If you want to be back down on earth then slip into the flat silver or gold T chain strap sandals, $685.
• Or run around in the fabulous black ballet flats with the signature Bally black and white stripe on the side and a little bow on the toe. About $450.
Polo Ralph Lauren:
There is a sale on here as well as new season in store; best buys are:
• The navy schoolboy wool blazer with an insignia/emblem on the pocket, $1395. Also in red but it’s too bright. You look like you will get detention wearing it and have to stay back writing I will not wear bright colours 100 times.
• The brown vintage leather waistcoat, $899.
• The lovely white shirt with double cuffs, a dinner short style pleating on the front and a pussy bow tie, very chic and wear it undone so it’s sexy, $249.
• There is a stone cotton 3 buttons blazer with an insignia on the pocket, $599.
• On sale there is an orange small cotton shrunken blazer with an emblem on pocket now $319.
• Checkout the chic Black cotton/ nylon trench that is double breasted and belted with black buttons, for you and my trench addiction, $449.
• The men’s wear is fabulous here and so much nicer than the women’s wear with stipe Tees, chic chinos, nice sloppy chunky knits to wear on the yacht…
It’s a relocation sale and 60% off. You want the bags…there is a grey square shoulder bag now $699 from about $1800 and many more…also racks of clothes and stacks of shoes.
Roast chicken with Chilli and Ginger Stuffing with Coconut gravy…Adulterated from Bills
The great thing about roasting chicken is that you can make it ahead of time and then eat it cold as leftovers. This is delicious and perfect for a summer picnic.
You need for 4 hungry teenage boys, 6 beach bums or 25 fashionista:
For the chilli stuffing:
Olive oil for baking
For the chilli stuffing
3 large handfuls Coriander
50g desiccated coconut
1 long green chillies, seeds removed and coarsely chopped ( Bill says to use 4 chillies…eeek Too hot!)
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1 tab grated fresh Ginger
2 limes, juice only
2 tsp brown sugar
Serve with Asian greens, roast potatoes or rice.
For the coconut gravy:
1 tabs green curry paste
250ml light coconut milk
1 tab lime juice
2 tsp Fish Sauce
1 tsp brown sugar
For the chilli stuffing:
• Pour a big glass of Gin and tonic.
• Throw on Pucci Kaftan.
• Twist hair extensions into pony tail.
• Find the food processor.
• Peel the ginger and chop up roughly. You know they like it rough.
• Peel and roughly chop the garlic into the size of Vicky Beckham’s brain.
• Scissor up a lime leaf into the strips.
• De seed and then chop up the Chilli into chunky bits using a knife and fork (so you don’t get chilli in your Dior mascara).
• Throw the chilli, ginger, coconut, the coriander, coconut, chilli, garlic and ginger all into the whizzer and whiz it until it’s all finely chopped.
• Juice the limes and toss in too with the brown sugar.
• Taste Add some sel et poivre if you think it needs a little.
• Add more chilli if you like it that way. Some like it hot.
• Now preheat the oven to about 220C.
• Rinse the chicken and pat it dry. It likes a pat and maybe a tickle under the chin.
• Now with your fingers, carefully loosen the skin of the breast (of the chicken not you) down to the thigh area.
• Shove half the stuffing under the skin and then try and push under the thighs too. Don’t think about the Manicure. Just don’t.
• Regular FiFi Report readers know my secret tip here: delegate this task to George Clooney because he loves to shove his fingers in things.
• Toss any leftover stuffing inside the cavity of the chicken.
• If you can be bothered tie the legs together with string. Not George’s the Chicken’s.
• Time for more Gin and Tonic. Perhaps a wine? The month of March can be Alcohol free. March 2040
• Now carefully lower the chicken, breast side up, in a large roasting pan and drizzle with olive oil and season with salt and pepper.
• Roast the chicken for 20 minutes, then turn the temperature to 200C and roast it for another 40-50 minutes or until juices run clear.
• You must rest yourself and the chicken for at least 10 minutes before carving.
For the coconut gravy:
• Heat the curry paste in saucepan (Always good to sue saucepan) and cook till it smells divine (after 2 mins.)
• Pour in the coconut milk and stir, then let it simmer for about 2-3 minutes.
• Throw in the lime juice, the fish sauce and brown sugar and any lovely juices from the roasting pan.
• If serving hot then carve the chicken and serve with roast potatoes and steamed Asian greens.
• Pour over the coconut gravy. Lick fingers.
• OMG. Superb