“Every time I’m in New York I make (gossip column) Page Six. They reported that a “sexy, swishy spy” at a particular gym that I’ve been working out at noticed that I’m always “very naked” around the shower area. Is this news?! They asked me for a comment! I told them that I tried showering fully clothed but that I found it less effective” Will & Grace star Eric McCormack innocently showering naked at a gym
“We don’t have the cleanest floors. She just put him down and changed his diaper and then handed it to a sales clerk saying, ‘Can you throw this away for us?’ We told her that we couldn’t put that in our trash.” Sales assistant reporting that Britney changed her son’s nappy on the floor next to a cash register in a Victoria’s Secret store. Very naked in Victoria’ s secret.
“ I would never ask to change him” Donald Trump on his baby Barron ( but you could get a refund).
“ Oh, I’ve wept, yeah, I’ve definitely wept, with the world – how judgmental they are” Britney on the paparazzi. (So have we Britney, so have we)
“He helps me. He has to. I’m an emotional wreck right now. Not in a bad way – just, you know, I’ll start laughing hysterically, and then I’ll just start crying. It’s my hormones” Britney is an emotional wreck in a good way. (A newly diagnosed condition)
“I always have a boyfriend all the time, so I’ve never really got to know me and, like, have time for myself because I spend all my energy on the boyfriend,” Self centered and self obsessed Paris Hilton talks about her self again.
“ Tell her, if she gets up one more time, she will never be invited to one of my events again.’ Anna Wintour leaned over and whispered to a Vogue staffer at the CFDA awards about Lindsay Lohan who got up to use the bathroom to powder her nose six times in two hours.
“People like to think that just because I’m young and like to enjoy my life, I’m some crazy party girl. I hate the term party girl – I hate it.” Lindsay Lohan to Harper’s Bazaar (she hates a party especially in the bathroom)
“A guy with a great imagination sends me through the rafters, I love it!” Jessica Simpson ( he imagines she has a brain)
“If you ever do that to me, we split the royalties” Editor in chief of US Marie Claire, Joanna Coles, to her brand new assistant, Lizzie Dunlap, after seeing the movie The Devil Wears Prada

Kate Moss loves them. You might wear them going out with Tom Cruise. They’re comfortable. They’re groovy. You could wear them every day. They are not expensive. They come in every colour. They are a dream come true. They are the most fabulous ballets flats from Salvio’s (opposite Randy Ritz Cinema). Available in every colour and fabric you can choose from patent to suede, to snake skin to bronze and metallic. Have your feet measured, choose your colours and two weeks later you have your wardrobe complete. For $66 a pair they are the best cheap but chic find this season. NB: All true except for the Tom Cruise bit.

$66 Ballet Flats from Salvio’s Dancing Shoes, 34 St Pauls St, Randwick 9398 3502

Do you know what is this week’s item du jour? Yeah but no but yeah but no but. Correct. It’s the talking Vicky Pollard doll from Little Britain. ‘From the town of Darkly Noone she is a fashion inspiration and ‘often heard rambling about “this fing wot you know nuffin about” as she stubs out her fags and totally denies any responsibility for anything, ever. The 30cm tall plush figure has a detailed rotocast head. It speaks 2 different phrases, with 30 seconds of sound’. Then buy the only gay in village; the Talking Daffyd Doll as well. But shut up coz I never dun nuffin.
$39.95 Talking Vicky Pollard Doll from shop.abc.net.au/browse/product.asp?productid=467848

It’s an ugly business staying beautiful. Try taking off your makeup. You get anxious peering at that strange person staring back at you in the mirror. And that gives you wrinkles. Ditto when the fake tan comes off your legs and you climb out of your Manolos. Are your legs really that short, fat, white and dry? Time to do some serious investment undressing. Time to keep the body from disintegrating with the Ultraceuticals Ultra moisterising Body Bar. I like it. It has all sorts of fabulous things such as Vitamin C and E and actually leaves your skin feeling soft and moisterised. Plus it’s nice to use on your face too. Just don’t look in the mirror when you’re using it.

$19 Ultraceuticals Ultra Moisterising Body Bar from David Jones.

Off to New York ? Head to the Dada exhibition at the Momawww.moma.org/exhibitions/2006/Dada.html
Read about the Sydney Pollack documentary about Frank Gehry ‘Sketches’ here www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/showthread.php?t=480601
Off to Aspen ? head to the Jazz festival jazzaspen.org/
Mr. Chow is opening a sixth restaurant in New York in Tribeca.
Michael Graves’ small kitchen appliances for Target brought refined design to the masses, and Philippe Starck created luggage for Samsonite and panties for Wolford. Now Pritzker Prize winner Zaha Hadid is weighing in with everything from a Louis Vuitton handbag to a three-wheeled car. “We’re looking at a conceptual handbag for Louis Vuitton,” said Patrik Schumacher, a partner in Zaha Hadid Architects. “It’s a take on one of the classical handbags, stretched out like a hose.” wwd
Here are some cool but no frills hotels in the London UK…base2stay.com/ or try the very cheap but chic www.yotel.com/theconcept.php
Jaimie Oliver has opened a new Fifteen restaurant in Cornwall
fifteencornwall.co.uk/
Hearst’s newly completed headquarters building In New York, designed by Sir Norman Foster, generated endless column inches last week, including three separate stories in The New York Times.
Heading to Paris..please check out the new groovy Jean Nouvel designed Musee Branly www.quaibranly.fr/sommaire.php3?id_rubrique=20 and of course the Musee de L’Orangerie is reopening after a 6 year renovation.
Director Peter Weir has quit new film Shantaram after failing to see eye-to-eye with Johnny Depp, who is also producing the film.
Miuccia Prada will launch her project “Improbable Classics n.1” at the 37th edition of Art Basel, June 14 to 18. For the first time, Prada will set up a temporary store, designed with architects Herzog & De Meuron “There will be some classic Prada pieces that are not necessarily commercial, hence the name of the project, and some items designed for this store expressly,” said a Prada spokesman. ‘ WWD.

www.davidlynch.com
‘No one could ever accuse David Lynch of making sense. He is one kooky dude. Go here to buy ringtones for your mobile; the so-called strangetones range in freakitude from a childlike voice repeating “My teeth are bleeding” to an overlord-type voice growling “I … like … to … kill … deer.” Another ringtone, which consists of high-pitched screeching that sounds not unlike fingernails on a chalkboard, is aptly named Angst. Then watch him delivering daily weather reports’. Weird. ( wwd)

www.amazon.com
Amazon.com has launched a boutique themed around “The Devil Wears Prada” which is on the number-one spot in the Amazon Apparel & Accessories store. Buy the $79 brown studded bag worn by Andrea, played by Anne Hathaway, and designed by Patricia Field, who created the costumes for the film. Other “Devil” items include the “Devil Wears Prada” Tendre Set of four Prada fragrances for $65, a “Devil Wears Prada” baby T-shirt, $14.99, and a tank top, $12.99. wwd. Not very Prada

Jason Preston and boyfriend Marc Jacobs have split.
Zach Braff and Mandy Moore have split up
Jennifer Aniston was seen wearing a HUGE diamond ring on her left hand.
Hugh Grant and Jemima Khan are engaged.
Jessica Simpson is getting extra-friendly with Jared Leto.
Reese Witherspoon is pregs.
J. Lo says that she is not pregs.
Linda Evangelistsa is pregs.( with a New York architect)
Lindsay Lohan was photographed at a restaurant picking her teeth, which is totally unacceptable. She covered up in shame after seeing the photographers. Either embarrassed she was caught picking her teeth or embarrassed she was caught eating. Thesuperficial.
Heather Mills McCartney will divorce Paul. He’s planning on suing the paper that’s claiming she used to prostitute herself and has been publishing nude photos she took when she was younger. The most shocking news of all? People actually seem to care.
The Rolling Stones’s world tour is on hold again while guitarist Ronnie Wood checked into alcohol rehab. Hic!
The Crown Prosecution Service announced they wouldn’t prosecute Kate Moss over her cocaine incident. “Even if the photos and videos weren’t enough, just the fact she used to go out with Pete Doherty should guarantee a conviction. I hear you get high just from being in a room with him for too long. But that might be because he injects you with stuff every time you look away” Thesuperficial.
Alec Baldwin called Patricia Field “a fruit-salad head” and a “wack job, 24-7″ after she blamed him as the reason she quit being the stylist for his most recent movie. In future I will start calling people fruit-salad heads on a regular basis because it may be the greatest insult I’ve ever heard in my entire life says thesupericial.
Daryl Hannah was arrested after protesting the destruction of a 14-acre fruit and vegetable garden by living in one of the trees for three weeks. ‘If that doesn’t qualify as a fruit-salad head I don’t know what does. Her head could literally be a melon and she still wouldn’t be as fruit-salad heady.”suoerficial.
Kevin Federline is still alive! He has been photographed with Britney and baby for the first time in over three months. “It’s nice of Britney to let him out of the basement long enough to pose for cameras”

Swinging Sixties ….by Christopher Breward (Editor), Jenny Lister (Editor)
In 1966, Time famously touted London as the new world center of style. Forty years later, this book reconsiders the roles played by Mary Quant, Twiggy, Biba, David Bailey, magazines, and filmmakers in promoting a new, more relaxed, more colorful way of dressing that reverberated around the world. Illustrated with key pieces from the V&A’s fashion collection plus contemporary photos, the book relates fashion to the rapidly changing social, economic, and aesthetic context of the times. Groovy baby!
$23 www.amazon.com Publisher: Victoria and Albert Museum (May 1, 2006)

The Christmas List
L.A. Lofts ….Barbara Thornburg, Dominique Vorillon (Photographer)
“In Los Angeles, the world’s dream factory, lofts are as colorful and creative as the city itself. L.A. Lofts showcases 20 original and enigmatic interiors housed in both converted warehouse spaces and newly constructed sites in upscale neighborhoods. Featuring a die-cut cover that teasingly hints at the images of vibrant interiors revealed underneath this book is bursting with dazzling photographs and endless color. ‘
$31 www.amazon.com Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC (March 28, 2006)

Economy Class:
K Mart: Race, and I mean race in here for The bargain of the year: Search and you will find a very Josh Goot esque silvery grey marle tank here now reduced from…wait for it..$7 to $5.60!! What the? Incredible. I found these in Chatswood Chase and there were a few sizes left. Good luck. Also there are cute empire T-shirts now with 30% off $19; chic in a dark grey marle.
FCUK : On sale . Best pieces are the crop denim roll up jeans now about $50; the cotton cargo pants now $59 in navy and stone; and the wrap chunky stone knit cardigans with a pin brooch instead of buttons now about $49. There are lots of cute chiffon tie back blouses in purple, and black for $49. There is a cool men’s messenger bag in choc brown suede but it’s a girl look too, handy and chic for casual weekends with white stitching and a long strap now $79.
Portmans: Best buys are the black cotton shirtwaist dress with a full skirt, ¾ sleeves and a belt $99; the ballet flats $39; the Roland Mouret dress $99 and the cord blazers are now $59. But doesn’t everyone have one? Also of course the patent wide belts.
Witchery: Still on sale: best pieces are the jersey wrap dress in brown with a back tie a la Chloe now $99; the black or blue puffa jacket with a faux fur trim on the hood is $99; the brown drawstring bag a la Prada now $99 and buy the amazing tan round toe, platform sling backs if you can find them in your size for $49. Outrageous. Also love the velvet city shorts in brown or black now $49. Buy the hoodies and track pants not on sale. Check out the wrap and tie jersey dress with cap sleeves in red or black -as reported it is very flattering cut -$129 and the scoop neck stripe grey and blue empire line T (as seen everywhere) here for $44. New in? I see a lot of navy . There will be more everywhere for summer. At least it’s not watermelon or pink. Navy blue will be the pink of last summer.
Enzo Angiolini: check out the new heels with a peep toe, very simple $149 in black or brown and the huge oversized bags, cool with white stitching and a drawstring opening a la Prada in choc or black, with pockets and buckles $299.
Cue: Sale here continues with up to 50% off; Buy all as reported last week: Best buys are the most divine oyster high neck bell sleeves blouse – Chloe or Lanvin?- with the black bobbles on the fitted cuff and the black piping- awfully chic $174. Buy the knits; the dresses and the velvet jacket. New in is some chic fine knit T ‘s with a cute little puff sleeve $89 and the navy slouchy pants $129. Navy is here big time too. Buy the fab Prada esque dress in a subtle navy and black print with a grosgrain belt (as reported) : a great buy wear into summer with a white T a la Prada now $125. Love it.

Business Class
Scanlan and Theodore: How do they do it? It’s always fabulous here. You want to buy it all; great quality, a great mix of classic with groovy. Check out the divine choc brown and black mini stripe skinny scarf- gorgeous- $120; the too gorgeous fine wool brown and blue tiny square check print poncho- Wow- $140. the green with a bronze fleck, frill neck, chunky knit short sleeve sweater $280; and the fur capelet in a navy $450.There is a simple black dress with wide straps $300; another LBD $550; a beautiful camel and black wide stripe wrap with a ruffle $180; a fab cream ruffle neck sweater $300 and a poets chiffon blouse in all sorts of colours and fabrics is gorgeous $350. Buy the perfect fine knit black scoop neck baby wool sweater with short sleeves $140; the black wrap short sleeves dress and the brown leather cap sleeve vest with a belt $1200. Then buy the black leather empire baby doll dress – sensational, very Rock star $1200. There is a divine, short sleeve, pale blue sheer chiffon high neck blouse with black piping $300; a divine boat neck rib fine knit sweater for $140 and the perfect black and cream stripe, skinny rib, scoop neck sweater for $300. I could on and on. But I must mention the belts; Love the wide, wide belts in brown suede with ruching along the waist and the slim leather belts with a leather flower detail both $200. Plus of course head here for the Alaia shoes, cool vintage sunglasses and the skinny rabbit fur scarves $300.
CK Jeans: is having a massive sale 60% off. Rummage and you may find. Best pieces are the black or camel wool peacoat now about $160. A bargain. Check out the jeans too.
Veronika Maine: on sale too. Best buys are the knits, in fact buy up big on the big knits. They will be big next winter. Check out the Marc Jacobs show winter 06 and you will see its all about over sizing sloppy layered knits for next winter. Also check out the chiffon dresses here on sale now $150; the classic stone or camel chinos $99 and the brown cotton shirts now $42.
Country Road: On sale these are the non sale prices. Check out the best pieces : the grey velvet pleated skirt $179; the royal blue skirt pleated in silk with side pockets $89; the black chiffon V neck dress with elastic waist and front pleats $299; and the stripe black and navy cardigans $129. Check out the short belted single breasted princess coat in black $449; the cute little empire blue T with a satin trim on the neckline and puff sleeves $79; the grey and blue stripe scoop T $99 is every where but this one looks cool; and don’t forget the city shorts, the black cami with white lining $99; and the peacoats in cord. Check out the cream chunky knit poloneck sweaters $139. There are fab ribbed cardigans $129; a divine tulip skirt $199 and a cotton satine pencil skirt –though it has split at the back it is over the knee and a bit longer ideal for the boot situation $99.
Edward Meller: check out the Fillipo Raphael patent ballet flats in red, or black $275.
Max and Co: On sale: best pieces are the black peacoat in wool 30% off now $384; the black and white tweed A line skirts- also in brown now $172; the brown puffa jacket with knit inserts $392 and the black and white spot satin blouse $208. Black and spots are big news for next summer. The rabbit fur chubby is very groovy now $399. Also buy the fitted black blazer now $450; and the scoop neck rib knits sweaters are now about $92.
Jigsaw: Checkout the velvet collarless jacket $249; the very nice and chic and so very Prada esque V neck oatmeal cardigan with tortoiseshell buttons $159; the rib V neck sweaters in all colours are the best pieces here $89. The 6 buttons short peacoat in velvet is rather fab $259 in brown or black.

First Class:
Hugo Boss Woman: New pieces for summer are a bit too boho chic here but I do like the white print cotton halter neck dress $849. Some pieces are on sale so check out the best pieces: the wrap choc brown knit $399; the wrap cream silk shirt $749; the cotton satine wrap black sleeve dress $899 and the cotton jersey patch pocket top with epaulettes $279. Buy the nylon black short belted trench $990; the dark green Khaki shot taffeta trench coat is gorgeous $1599 and so is the dark green khaki leather blazer with brass buttons $1999. There is of course fab suiting here and great tuxedo pants and jackets. Classic.
Belinda Double Bay: on sale. NB: remember some pieces have left the building since I was there drooling. There are quite a few great pieces still here some less than 50% off. Also take 20% off the marked price. Check out the Lanvin black self print crop jacket $1900 was $3900; the Balenciaga waxed grey wool car coat, very tulip shape now $495; the beautiful Lanvin oatmeal cardigan $895 and the Missoni stripe brown and black zig zag cardigan $1180. There is a fab Martin Grant grey knit top; a chic Lanvin black cardigan with sequin/chiffon trim now $1195; the gorgeous Derek Lam blush ruffle front blouse $845; and an amazing Lanvin grey knit T shirt with the bejwelled trim, the original and the best $2475. Check out the gorgeous Marni black self jacquard skirt , divine $1295; the black silver thread pencil skirt $395; a Mr & Mrs Macleod A line black jacquard skirt $795 and a brocade silver skirt with lace trim $420. Buy the Miu Miu grey crop pants $495; the Miu Miu brown/red paisley print car coat now $1700 and the fabulous Marni feathered necklace collar is now $260. sensational. Also check out the divine Maria Calderara jewellery: the fabulous earrings were $295, and the gorgeous bracelets and the beads.
Belinda Shoe Salon; No sale but lots of new fabulously delicious pieces to drool over. Checkout the Abro oversized black distressed leather bag with silver hardware and white stitching $695 and the smaller version too. Buy the Marni black patent bucket tote also in yellow with stone details $$, the patent black peep toe flats $795; the Pierre Hardy flesh heels with a peep toe $895 with a silver trim and the Pierre Hardy black ballet flats with white piping and trim $995. Buy the Sigerson Morrison flat black bejeweled T bar sandals $645; the suede heels in black with black stones along the front T $895 and the pointy toe bejewelled flats for $750. Checkout the Jimmy Choos, the divine Chloe tan T bar wedge platforms as seen everywhere in all magazines have just about sold out $1095; the Marni jewelled sandals $795; the matching bag $$ and the Chloe tan leather platforms $970. I could on and on. I could shop till I drop. Bless.
Gucci : is now on sale Will report next week

Sticky Date Pudding…………… from Stephanie Alexander..
Is there anything better on a cold winter’s night than tucking into naughty but nice sticky date pudding?

You need
170g Dates, pitted
1 teaspoon Bicarb soda
60g Butter
170g Caster sugar
2 Eggs
170g Self raising flour
1/2 teaspoon Vanilla essence
300ml Boiling water
18cm square tin

Sauce
150g Brown sugar
150ml Cream
1 Vanilla bean
50g Butter

·Preheat the oven to about 180
·Moisterise a cake tin
·Chop up the dates
·Then mix dates and bicarb soda in a bowl ( not on a bench; makes a mess)
·Pour 300ml boiling water over dates and leave to stand and have a little think about life.
·In another bowl throw in the soft butter, sugar and eggs and beat them till they are creamed
·Fold in the flour ever so gently and then
·stir in dates and add vanilla.
·Pour into a cake tin
·And toss in the oven at 180 for about 30 - 40 minutes.

Now for the sauce …make it just before serving the pudding so it’s gorgeous, sticky, hot and delicious
·Throw the sugar, cream, and butter in a saucepan and bring to the boil.
·Simmer for about 5 minutes
·Cut the pudding into big chunky servings and pour over the hot sticky sauce.
·Go on have two servings, then lick the spoon and say a prayer of thanks to one of the great joys of life.
·NB: The next day go for a run, do a workout, play 3 games of tennis, then do a couple of laps of the pool. ( Equals one serving)

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada… Directed by Tommy Lee Jones.
Who: Tommy lee Jones.
Genre: A modern Western
Awards: Tommy Lee Jones’ directorial debut won 2 Awards at last year’s Cannes Film Festival: Best Actor (Tommy Lee Jones) and Best Screenplay (Guillermo Arriago, the writer of ‘Amores Perros’ and ‘21 Grams’).
The Plot: Set in Texas and Mexico. Cool American ranch dude and illegal Mexican are friends. Bad ass, evil, mean and wicked Border Patrol guy shoots dead Mexican. Ranch dude wants revenge. Captures bad Ass Border Patrol guy. Is outrageously mean to him. Ties him to a horse. Ties the dead Mexican body to a horse. Close eyes in these bits. Off they go to Mexico. Cross the Border illegally. Not happy campers.
Acting: Fabulous!
Photography: ‘Jones coerces a riveting tale from Guillermo Arriaga script, with a choppy chronology reminiscent of Arriaga’s own 21 GRAMS. Comparisons to Sam Peckinpah’s masterfully bleak 1974 movie BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA are inevitable, although Jones’s film has a tender edge that Peckinpah’s nihilistic epic was never quite capable of reaching’ Rottentomatoes.com
Set design: It’s dirty, dusty, hot, dry and probably stinky too. Modern America at its tasteless worst.
Salon de Beaute: Moisturizer does not work here. Chapped lips, dry skin, they all need a good face mask and product for their hair.
Wardrobe: it’s cowboy hats, it’s mini skirts, its denim. It’s the D Squared Spring summer 05 collection. Yee Ha!
Mind drifted to shopping: in the scary bits
Botox: No, the anti freeze does the same job. ewww
Waterproof mascara: one application should do it
Smooches: let’s just say it’s not a romantic comedy.
Blood’n’guts: There is a dead, mouldy, decaying, body. Nuf said.
Car Chases: it’s a blokes movie set in the desert. Of course there are car chases and horse chases. It’s a chase movie.
Best review: “[A] long, kooky, immensely absorbing picture, which forges the elegiac cruelty of a Cormac McCarthy novel with the two-fisted machismo of a Sam Peckinpah movie, and comes up with an altogether new brand of Western mythology.” Miami Herald
Best worst review: “An excruciatingly boring morality tale with poorly developed characters and a big spiritual finale that sputters.” OH no, another let’s-drag-a-dead-body-to-Mexico flick? “The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada” is weird enough to be received as a masterpiece in some aesthetic alterna-universe where thematic haze is mistaken for brilliance. I am referring to France. It’s just a cluster of symbols, and what they symbolize is this: a director who has seen too many European art films” . New York Observer
See it or donate to the Prada bag fund: Sometimes seeing the dark side can be illuminating. After a while you get used to it and see the amusing side. Hint: close your eyes in the bad, gory, gruesome bits. Just like you do when you hand over the Amex in Prada. .
www.sonyclassics.com/threeburials/