•“I have no problem with journalists – many are friends. Only if they are really stupid, or if they’ve got bad breath, or if they smell. After the Chanel couture show I had a problem. I said, ‘I’m sorry, you’ve got to tell this woman that she needs to be taken away. Her smell is not possible.’ ” Karl Lagerfeld holds his nose with stupid people.
•” Is it better to win an Oscar or fall in love with a beautiful woman” a reporter at the Venice Film Festival asks Brad Pitt.
•“Brad, don’t answer that,” George Clooney’s reply.
•“ Do you have any plans to settle down and have kids?” A really stupid reporter to George Clooney.
•“I am so surprised to hear that question. That is honestly the first time I’ve been asked that question. I am getting married and having children today” replies George. (I do! I do!).
•“And until then I’ll be sharing mine with him. I’ll have two more by next year.” Replies Pitt.
•"We were joking about calling them Mary-Kate and Ashley," Jerry O’Connell about his (about to born) twin girls.
•"I don’t need meetings. I’m only interested in my own opinion anyway. If I have a project you like, or you don’t like. There is no second opinion” Karl Lagerfeld does not have an evil twin.
•“When Annie Leibovitz photographed me for Vanity Fair . . . I didn’t know her very well then, and she said, ‘I have to spend three days with you to see what’s behind.’ And I said, ‘Annie, you’re wasting your time. Look at what you see.’ ” He casts his hand theatrically over his face. “There is nothing else.” Karl Lagerfeld. Is not getting married or having kids.

What: Cats eyes sunglasses
Why: Because they suddenly look right again. Because they work with all the retro looks for summer. Because sunglasses are the quickest way to update your look. Because all the coolest cats are wearing them. Because big, oversized shades just don’t look new anymore. Because they give you an instant face lift. And you won’t feel a thing.
Wear: With pretty retro floral dresses and 50’s skirt. With all black YSL. Do not wear with a headscarf driving in a convertible. Unless you are Grace Kelly. Do not wear with a floppy hat. Why? It will age you. (sorry to swear).
Where: head to Portmans and splash out $24 www.portmans.com.au.
Or Tom Ford at David Jones www.tomford.com

This is the most exciting fashion news since the return of black opaques and platforms. The launch of the denim collaboration between Acne - a swedish denim label - and Lanvin. Previously reported months ago in The FiFi Report this fabulous collection is now available to view online. www.acnestudios.com.. It’s all divine. ‘Made entirely of denim, only the finest Italian and Japanese fabrics have been used in a collection that sets out to be classic yet sharp. To maintain their intense shade of indigo the fabrics have been given minimal treatment, resulting in dresses, pants, suits, coats, jewellery, and shoes’. Even the fabulous Lanvin ‘happy sacs’ chain link bags are in denim. You need it all.
The bad news is that it’s not available to buy online until November. Please don’t cry. Here at The FiFi Report HQ we believe you need to be the first to know. So wipe away those tears. The good news is you can put your name of the waiting list now.

Just because your eyebrows don’t move anymore doesn’t mean they don’t need attention. For a start they need plucking and tidying. You don’t want eyebrows so big you have to blow dry them every day. You don’t want eyebrows that are over plucked or crooked either. You can only blame your surgeon for so much. This is why you will love the YSL eyebrow pencil. First you fill in the blanks and the holes to define the shape of your eyebrows with the pencil. A bit like Sodoku. They you turn the nifty pencil around and whip off the lid to use the handy little spiral brush at the other end. It will smooth out and tame misbehaving eyebrows and give eyebrows a natural look. All the better to hide the botox.

$31.50 YSL Dessin Des Sourcils Eyebrow Pencil from David Jones and Myer.

•Italian Vogue’s September 2008 has Viktoriya Sasonkina on the cover (see above)
•Read "The transformation of Marc Jacobs’ in the September issue of The New Yorker www.newyorker.com(see above)
•’When the W magazine crew shot Kate Moss in Istanbul’s most famous ancient bathhouse it was a steamy scene of naked flesh, jangly jewelry and totally drenched eveningwear’… Check out the behind the scenes video wmagazine.com
•Watch Amy Fine Collins from Vanity Fair introduce the 2008 list and see who made the International Fashion Hall of Fame at vanityfair.com
•Check out Justin Timberlake and model Erin Wasson in the trailer for his William Rast collection williamrastmovie.com (see below)
• ‘Bottega Veneta was hovering on the brink of bankruptcy when Tomas Maier took the helm as creative director.’ Read about the man behind the label. vanityfair.com
•In New York? Head to the photographer Michael Thompson’s exhibition hastedhunt.com
•In London? Check out the Victor and Rolf exhibition at the Barbican barbican.org.uk
•‘This is not a typo: Yves Saint Laurent will be handing out thousands of free bags come Sept. 6. The limited edition cotton totes, designed by Stefano Pilati, are the latest wrinkle in the French house’s ongoing “Manifesto” program, in which newspaper-style catalogues are handed out to women on the streets of key fashion cities. ‘More than half a million copies of the catalogue will be distributed in Paris, New York, London, Milan, Tokyo and Hong Kong, with 5,000 in each city tucked into the black or white totes. Emphasizing YSL’s ready-to-wear, this season’s Manifesto features Naomi Campbell in fall-winter designs, photographed by Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin’…..reports WWD (see above)
•Gerard "Jerry" Ford, who with his wife Eileen Ford created Ford Models, passed away on Sunday at 83. He is credited with creating modeling contracts to promote brand exclusivity, and represented such big names as Lauren Hutton and Christie Brinkley.
•Check out the behind the scenes video of the rising stars of American fashion in Vanity Fair’s September issue vanityfair.com
• The 65th Venice International Film Festival kicked off on Wednesday with the Opening Ceremony. The Russian actress Ksenia Rappoport was the host of the evening. The ceremony was followed by the world premiere of Burn After Reading by Joel and Ethan Coen, screening out of competition. The line-up of the Festival includes the Venezia 65, Out ofCompetition, Orizzonti, and Corto Cortissimo sections, as well as aretrospective section dedicated to Italian Cinema 1946-1975. Thescreenings schedule runs until Saturday 6th September. labiennale.org
• ‘The November 2008 cover of W will not feature the work of Steven Klein or Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott, but rather Brad Pitt. The actor shot Angelina Jolie and the rest of the Jolie-Pitt family at Chateau Miraval in the southern France last week, marking his first ever turn as cover photographer.’…Reports WWD
• ‘It’s a sad day for anyone who ever pranced around in a pinafore dress or woke up between graphic flower-printed sheets: Riitta Immonen, a co-founder of the Finnish fashion and textile powerhouse Marimekko, died on Sunday night at age 90. Though Immonen left the company in the late ’80s, she stuck around long enough to enjoy this year’s tribute at the Design Museum of Helsinki and to see H&M spread her happy designs to an even bigger meadow…reports themoment (see below)

nbc.com
It’s Kath and Kim in The USA! With Selma Blair and Molly Shannon….No so funny Jan. But they tried.

thecatorialist.com
Hilarious. It’s the Sartorialist for cats. ‘Selected as one of Cat Fancy’s Top 100 Catstyle Influencers…’ it’s chic cats seen on the street in all their pussycat style

•Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling are back together.Exactly like The Notebook. Except this time with more pastries and no one has Alzheimer’s yet. (see above)
•George Clooney arrives at the Venice Film Festival. This is news. And another excuse for a photo.
• 100 Things To Do Before You Die Co-Author … Dies at 47. He did. Bless.
•Charlie Sheen and wife are expecting. A baby.
•Paris is still stupid
•Benj is still stupid enough to be in love with her.
•Angelina is still perfect
•Nicole Kidman is still skinny even with all those fillers.
•Uma and Arki are still kissing.
•Jennifer Aniston met Woody Allen for dinner. Still so over John Mayer
•Karl Lagerfeld is still smoking ( without a cigarette.)
•Britney Spears is still not scheduled to terrorize this year’s VMAs.
•Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton are still not getting married. For the second time.
•Justin Long has rebounded from Drew Barrymore and landed in the pale-white arms of Kirsten Dunst.
•Gwen Stefani and baby Zuma have left the hospital.
•Sporty spice says she and her beau are expecting. A baby. A Zuma too?
•Sienna Miller was seen on a yacht. With her top on. Not expecting anything except a phone call from her lover’s wife.

One Fifth Avenue…by Candace Bushnell
“Sex in the City goes middle-aged, mordant and slapstick in Bushnell’s chronicle of writers, actors and Wall Street whizzes clashing at One Fifth Avenue, a Greenwich Village art deco jewel crammed with regal rich, tarty upstarts and misguided lovers. When a Queen of Society dies, a vicious scramble for her penthouse apartment ensues, and it’s attorney Annalisa and her hedge-funder husband, Paul Rice, who land the palatial pad, roiling the building’s rivalries. There’s Billy Litchfield, an art dealer who slobbers over the wealthy; strivers Mindy and James Gooch, and a gossip columnist Enid Merle and her screenwriter nephew, Philip Oakland. Here are bloggers and bullies, misfits and misanthropes, dear hearts and black-hearts, dogfights and catty squalls spun into a darkly humorous chick-lit saga.’ Fun.
$17 Publisher: Voice (September 22, 2008) http://www.amazon.com

The Christmas List
Yves Saint Laurent: Style by Foundation Pierre Berge - Yves Saint Laurent
‘Since its establishment in the 1960s by the designer and Pierre Bergé, the Yves Saint Laurent haute couture house has redefined femininity, creating arguably the most famous (and sexiest) suit for women, “Le Smoking” tuxedo, and innovative collections with names such as Pop Art, Ballet Russes, and Picasso.
This retrospective book is the first to cover the forty years of Yves Saint Laurent and highlights the inventive character of the designer’s work. The book is the companion volume to an exhibition that will travel to The Montreal Museum of Fine Art and the de Young Museum in San Francisco.

$31 Publisher: Abrams (September 10, 2008) http://www.amazon.com

Economy Class
Nine West:
Shoes and handbags, shoes and handbags…We are all searching,searching, searching for fabulous shoes and bags…best picks here are:
•The cream, taupe and dusky orange strappy slingback sandals with a white plastic sole and a very YSL cone 11cm (!) heel $129. they are called ‘Quizoup’. Don’t try to say that when you are drunk.(see left)
•The cream patent platforms with a black (or orange) patent strap across the toe are cool. Having a sling back means your legs look a little longer than when they are strangled in a gladiator sandal (and going blue) $149
•Love the black ‘Greta’ crossover sandals with a medium heel and silver ring detail. They look very tough but when you try them on they don’t look so edgy. Must be the slim heel. $159
•In Handbags I spy a very Lanvin oversized clutch in cream and black patent with silver zips and a few studs about $109.
•The orange snakeskin slouch bag (also in a small fold over clutch) is a beauty about $99. we love orange for summer. Wear with red and pink.
Sportsgirl:
There is a hippy festival going on here. My picks? The accessories.
You want:
•The turquoise resin cuff topped with big fabulous turquoise jewels $60. So chic. Also in black and cream. It looks expensive .
•The black single feather necklace $60. This is to be worn with a simple white Tank. And black. Or you will look like an Indian Chief. How Now.
•In shoes it’s gladiators galore (as reported last week) for about $99. You also want the very Alaia brown wooden platform wedges with cut out brown leather front and sling back $49! (see left). You can pat your boyfriend on the head from up there.
•If you want simple silver -or gold trim- aviator sunglasses head here. They are so cool if you don’t feel you want to work those catseyes. $24
•The vintage second hand dresses are fab here for that individual look.. $99
•Everyone needs a black cotton denim blazer $129 and there are some great jeans from $49. How many pairs of jeans do you need? Alot. For fat days, for skinny days, for lazy slut days, for fashion days, for nights..
Witchery:
Always great buys here… check out:
•The fabulous simple, black frill silk dress in a looser shape $149. You can belt it with a brown belt. Wear it under a jacket now while it’s a little chilly outside.
•The cream silk blouse ( that is really a jacket:)  it has lovely poet’s sleeves and pretty pleating across the shoulders $149. Wear it over a tank and with high waist pants. Don’t wear this to eat chocolate dipping sauce
•The light stone -almost cream - double breasted trench in a silky fabric is gorgeous. It has shorter 3/4 sleeves with a belted detail at the elbow and cream buttons. It’s so right for wearing right now. In the rain. Throw it over jeans and a sweater or a pretty dress. And then wear it into summer $229
•The chic sleeveless stone jacket or is it a waist coat ? Wear this with a brown belt a la Proenza Schoeler or with a black belt a la YSL .. Love this with a pencil skirt or shorts. $129. It’s great for when you want structure but you don’t want to look stitched up.
•In accessories you want the very Chloe black patent cone heels with snazzy wide cross over straps. The heel has a strip of white through it and most importantly they are comfortable. Yes, please. $149
•Check out the fabulous glomesh evening bags in black ….
•Buy the brown vintage leather flat gladiators: wear in puddles until its warm $99 (see above)

Business Class
Morrissey:
•Check out the fabulous chiffon halter swing/empire dress in a circle print. It’s a simple white with a black circle print. So chic $379.  It’s for evening so invest now wear later.
• Love the navy chiffon dress with 3/4 sleeves, navy sequin cuffs and a pleat skirt. It’s very chic for evening. This is not a dress for day.$399. Very glamour puss.
•Love the black chiffon black sleeveless tank with black chiffon rosettes all over the front. It’s something you can with jeans or equally with a tuxedo jacket or a cute little pencil skirt $229.
• Buy the navy satin jacket blouse, very 90’s Gucci and it looks right again. $229.
• You need another trench. You do. Buy the stone trench here because it’s a little longer than usual and sits right on the knee. My knee anyway. Does that mean I am a stumpy midget? It means I am chic. It’s double breasted with tortoiseshell buttons and,  of course, belted so you can cinch in the waist. And suck in your muffin hips.$299.
Lisa Ho:
I see a lot of fabulous long and very cool graphic dresses and maxi dresses. Best buys are :
•The Grecian style drape silk leaf print ’ fireworks” dress $1499.
•The pretty floral halter neck print dress in purple and lilac. $829.
• The simple black cotton dress with a ruffle on the waist and a full skirt. $629….Wear with a blazer and red shoes.
•Love the “Matrix” dress with wide straps, in tunic shape in a gorgeous gold and browns style print $649. Also in a dress with cute cap sleeves..Too cold for now so layer it over a knit or at least a tee.
•Buy the petrol blue top in a slinky satin with gathering on the shoulder $329…Wear with jeans.
Scanlan and Theodore:
 It’s LOVE. You have never seen so many divine clothes; it’s all fabulous….best picks include :
•The long maxi BoHo hippy dress in an beautiful paisley Etro print $1200. Wear with flats. Never with heels. perfect for the hot weather.If it ever comes.
•A chic de la chic black shift dress with an exposed silver zip all the way down the front a la Lanvin. It has short sleeves and a side pockets. They call a black coat dress. Love it, $650. This is a dress for right now. In the cold. With your platforms.
•A simple Navy silk tunic dress with big loose sleeves, Perfect to throw over your bikinis now you are off to Bali, $350.
•A very long self print black knit cardigan with one button. It hits the knee or longer so it will work over a dress $450 (now that you are backhome and freezing again).
•Love the perfect seamed skinny black pants $$. Everyone needs skinny black pants. Everyone needs skinny legs.
•Buy the black lace dress lace/sequin dress, it has a top with wide straps in lace then it drops to to a satin skirt with a few scattering of big sequins $750.
• Love the cream and brown print skirt: so very pretty, so very Marni. Wear now with black knits. and opaques. But you knew that $450.
•Go here for Dresses, dresses, and more dresses!

First Class
David Jones:
Say good bye to Heaven on Seven. The newly refurbished designer floor has now opened on level 2 and it’s all here! Drool over Lanvin, Chloe, Dolce Gabbana, Philosophy By Alberta Ferretti, Martin Grant, Burberry and Sonia Rykiel. Also thrown in the mix is Amanda Wakely, See by Chloe, Nicole Fahri, Jaeger, Max Mara, Armani and more. There is too much to write about but my eye and wallet were dragged like a magnet to the following ..
•Lanvin beautiful blush silk Grecian dress with a ribbon tie $3700.
•Lanvin cream satin sleeveless tank with an exposed zip along the shoulder $1499.
•Dolce Gabbana black silk tunic dress with puff sleeves $3600.
•Martin Grant grey silvery sheath dress $2100.
•Jil Sander beautiful black jersey drape dress with logn sleeves and wide batwing sleeves. So 80’s and minimalist $1200.
•Jil Sander white cotton sleeveless shift dress has an almost patchwork of pieces with white chiffon netting between the seams $3800.
•Chloe caramel Zip front leather jacket with almost no visible zip or details $3900
•There are quite a few racks of clothes on sale…thank the lord

Fendi at David Jones:
You want:
•The purple patent short round toe boots with a chunky heel and mini platform $1200 also in beige. They are hot. Hot. Hot. Don’t eat for these.
•The cute patent fold up elastised ballet flats fabulous go for yellow, green, pink, red $480. Throw in bag for weekends in Venice
•The belts are divine with the Fendi logo in bright patent colours. Wear with all black.
•Check out the fabulous Fendi B bags from the new collection.
• Buy up the cute cuffs: a thin leather double strap in a lot of cute colours is $210 and a wider leather cuffs with a horse clasp are $150. Buy a few of them ( who needs a car?)  and stack them up your arm with the Hermes and Chanel.
•Love the gorgeous wool scarves $215.

Chickpeas with Spinach…it’s vegetarian heaven.

You need ….for 20 young skinny models or 4 mature adults with no food disorders who love eating:
3 slices wholegrain bread, crusts removed
1/4 cup olive oil
4 garlic cloves, crushed
2 tsp ground cumin
Juice of 1 lemon
1 x 400g can chickpeas, rinsed, drained
1 x 150g fresh baby spinach leaves

•Pour a wine.
•Open the can of chickpeas and drain
•Open the bottle of wine and drain
•Chop the garlic into the same size as your bank balance
•Trim the crusts off the bread. Eat to soak up the wine
•Place the bread in the whizzer
•Whizz the bread until it turns into coarse crumbs.
•Heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium-high heat.
• Toss in the breadcrumbs and cook for 3-4 minutes or until they are as lightly toasted
• Juice a lemon
•Throw in the garlic and cumin and cook for about a minute or untill it smells gorgeous and aromatic. Add more cumin if you think it needs it.
•Now sprinkle in the can of chickpeas and throw in the fresh baby spinach and lemon juice.
•Cook for about 2-3 minutes or until spinach wilts like your boyfriend when he’s drunk
•Serve immediately. No fat in that .