The FiFi Report 206
18 April 2008
Issue 206

There is only one Karl Lagerfeld! - He always has something exraordinary to say…
From an interview in .

  • •’Models? Let’s talk about the 25 percent of the population who have a weight problem, or are overweight. We don’t need to discuss the less than one percent. Anorexia is nothing to do with fashion. In today’s world, many people take drugs, not only models, hmm? It’s an unnecessary subject. Let’s talk about the fat ones’.
  • •’I hate all children. For other people, it’s fine, but not for me. I was born not to be a family person’.
  • •’I don’t want to have a social life. I’ve had enough of that in my life. It’s demode. It’s another era. Perhaps people are still excited by that era, but not me. It’s uninteresting today. It says nothing. It’s boring, pretentious and vulgar…Even for charity, people get paid. I try to avoid charity. It doesn’t happen for me. I’m rich enough not to have to do that. Thank God I don’t have to do that. I do a lot of unnecessary things for free’.
  • ‘I imagine the world from my window. I am not a traveler. I hate it. I never look at my watch. The good thing about private jets is that you go whenever you’re ready. That’s the real luxury of today. In all my contracts it says, if you want me, send a private jet’.
  • ‘Also I cannot go on airlines because people stare at me, you have to be touched by people. I hate that…I hate bespoke because I hate to be touched by strangers’.
  • ‘Ambition? I have no ambition. I just want things in a certain way…I don’t want to be a teacher. I don’t want to inform others through myself. In that way, it’s all for myself. I’m the most selfish person in the world. Being selfish, I take care of others’.
  • ‘I think that Claudia Schiffer is better than ever. There are few very, very, very great girls. But it’s not like in the ’90s, the days of Linda Evangelista. That’s demode now, that’s another era. Very tacky, hmmm? On the one hand there was something intellectual going on during that time. On the other, it was just tacky. But you know, decades have a look, a mood, but that was that’.
  • ‘I’m a computer by myself. I have a memory also for unnecessary things. Telephone numbers are a problem, but historical details are not’.
  • ‘Love is a subject I don’t analyze publicly. Love is only an interesting subject when it’s beyond. When it’s down to earth it ceases to become interesting. It’s a very dangerous subject. I’ve had so many tragedies in life, it’s hard to discuss the subject’.
Portmans Scarf

They are very clever at Portmans. There is a scarf there. It is fringed. It comes in fabulous colours like orange and purple. And it feels warm. Cosy. It feels chic. It has a label which reads ‘Cashmere Feel.’ It feels luxurious. It feels rich. So what if it’s not cashmere? My credit card is happy. (And now has a warm fuzzy, feeling too).

$14.99 at Portmans stores nationally.

Collette Dinnigan lingerie collection ‘Wild Hearts’

This cold weather means you can wear more clothes. So start with the inside. Start with the new Collette Dinnigan lingerie collection ‘Wild Hearts’ now available in Target. Check out the cute magazine online where you can turn the pages. Choose from chic styles such as pretty floral ‘Florette Bouquet’ or Animal print ‘Lulu Belle’. The best news? The Wild Hearts range will continually be updated and Dinnigan has said “that she hopes the collection will become apermanent fixture in Target intimates departments”. How thoughtful. It’s the what on the inside that counts.
Collette Dinnigan Wild Hearts Collection at Target: Bra from about $39 and briefs about $19.

Clinique Superbalm Moisterising Lip Gloss

I am an expert in lip gloss. You name it. I have tried it. I am constantly applying lipgloss. Why? Because I eat. Because I talk. Alot. Because I kiss too. Sometimes (but I never tell). Do any of these lip gloss stay on longer than it takes to eat dinner? Do any stay on longer than it takes to chat, eat, drink and kiss? No. But there is hope. There is the Clinique Superbalm Moisterising lip gloss. It clings to my lips after 2 drinks. It clings to my lips after a bite of Chicken Pie. It clings to my lips even when I am kissing my new Prada bag. Which is alot of kissing (thank god it’s a superbalm and moisterising too).

$32 Clinique Superbalm Moisturizing Lip Gloss.

Issue 206


  • Cameron Diaz in on the cover of W.
  • Gywneth is on the cover and inside shoot of May issue of US Vogue
  • Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen made their first trip toChina last week, stopping in Hong Kong to promote their Elizabeth &James line before heading to Beijing for a trunk show for The Row atLane Crawford. Mary-Kate and Ashley stayed at the store after the eventto restyle the mannequins wearing The Row, and they did a trainingsession with the sales. WWD
  • Read fascinating interview with marc Jacobs here.
  • Watch a cute 90’s video of Cindy Crawford interviewing supermodels
  • ‘Nina Garcia was let go from her position as fashion director at Elle. Season five of “Project Runway" was up in the air last week after it was taken to the Lifetime Network from Bravo because it would be paid more money. Many at Elle assumed that would mean Bravo would likely drop season five — the last Elle magazine was contracted to be involved in as a partner. But — surprise! — Bravo decided to push ahead and, suddenly, Elle needs Garcia again — just as she needs the magazine.Garcia’s future with Project Runway depends on her decision to stay at Elle. If she chooses to stay on as a contributor, she will serve as a judge on the show through season five.’ reports WWD
  • Kate Moss is set to be featured in British lingerie brand Agent Provocateur’s campaign for its latest bridal range — her second appearance as poster girl for the label. Nick Knight will shoot a series of six images for the campaign, which will "portray Moss as a bride who has a last-minute change of heart." The first shots will appear on the company’s Web site and will be released to the press in May. A film of Moss shooting the campaign also will premier on Knight’s Web site, Showstudio.com, on May 3. WWD
  • Check out the soon to be opened Mondrian South Beach
    Stay at the new snazzy Hotel in LA
  • "Tilda Swinton will go to the Met Costume Institute Ball as a guest of Miuccia Prada reports WWD . A surprise installation is in store for the centerpiece of the Prada table at the event, meanwhile, in the form of a living art installation’
  • Please stay here in new York the new Thompson Hotel on the Lower East Side 
  •  Love this hotel in Barcelona
  • Check out the Standard Hotels….and the eyecam of the hotel under construction in New York
  • Carolina Herrera Jr is expecting her third child with husband Miguel Baez, a retired bullfighter, according to the Spanish weekly Hola.
  • Chef Mario Batali has been taping his upcoming foodie show in Spain with Gwyneth Paltrow "She won’t eat anything with four legs — she gets grossed out by a cappuccino, she thinks it is cow mucus" said Batali of Paltrow’s eating habits ..reports WWD
  • Chanel is said to be in talks with petite French actress Audrey Tautou to feature in a new commercial for its mythic No.5 fragrance. And rumor has it Tautou will reunite with “Amélie” director Jean-Pierre Jeunet for the spots..reports WWD
  • On the heels of Silvio Berlusconi’s victory as Italy’s prime minister, Santo Versace has secured a seat in the country’s Parliament, becoming a member of the State Chamber. Reports WWD
www.elle.com


We want Nina Garcia’s (Fashion Director of Elle Magazine) collection of Chanel jackets and bags. Watch the tour of her wardrobe…

So beautiful…’While they were together shooting a flower-inspired editorial for V Magazine photographer Nick Knight had Kate Moss do a poetic voice-over to accompany a psychadelic film of the leftover stills’.

Issue 206

• Nicole Kidman is pregnant but doesn’t look it. ( left)
• Cate Blanchett had another baby but didn’t feel it.
• Ashlee Simpson is getting married, is she pregnant?
• Britney Spears is not pregnant. Was in another car accident. (She is an accident.)
• Liz Taylor has been rushed to the hospital after mixing booze and pills. Another accident. Liz meet Britney.
• Ivana Trump married for the fourth time. She needs more booze & pills.
• Amy Winehouse, the alcoholic cocaine snorting celebrity star, threw back a vodka while holding the baby. No No No!
"• Kerry Katona, the alcoholic cocaine snorting celebrity star , has given birth to a large bag of pure Colombian coke on an MTV reality show’ ..reports satirical thedailysquib.

"• The charts are readying themselves already for a new Christmas numberone as Amy Winehouse is all set to release a fabulous new single. She’s in the studio recording last minute background vocals forher new single "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth". PeteDoherty is a guest vocalist on the song and can be heard coughingfrantically in the last verse, the producers kept that bit in forauthenticity." reports thedailysquib

• Madonna has picked up a new workout partner: Gwyneth Paltrow! Reports People.com
• After reports that her dVb denim line wasn’t selling well at hip L.A.shop Kitson – because she hadn’t been in to promote the jeans –Victoria Beckham arrived at the shop Tuesday afternoon to help boostsales.
• Rob Lowe’s nanny is claiming that he "exposed himself" to her. He alsoallegedly put his hand in her pants several times and grabbed herbuttocks without her consent. Sounds good to me.
•Spoiler Alert ! The New York Post spills tons of gossip on the Sex and the City movie:

Eccentric Glamour: Creating an Insanely More Fabulous You

Eccentric Glamour: Creating an Insanely More Fabulous You

Eccentric Glamour: Creating an Insanely More Fabulous You …by Simon Doonan
‘In these comic essays, interspersed with one-on-one interviews with some of the world’s most glamorous eccentrics (including Iman, Lucy Liu, Tilda Swinton, Malcolm Gladwell, and many more), Simon Doonan offers the women of America an alternative to the cheapness and tackiness that currently pass for personal style. Eccentric Glamour is intended as an antidote to the epidemic of slutty dressing and porno-chic that has taken over since the arrival of Paris Hilton and Anna Nicole Smith (may she rest in peace). While the typical TV boobs ‘n’ Botox makeovers force every woman to look the same, the transformations this book strives to inspire are the very opposite. Dressing like a ho is not just bad taste but boring! In Simon Doonan’s book, conformity is the only crime and dressing down the only faux pas.Eccentric Glamour is every woman’s birthright. SO SAY NO TO HO!…and yes to ECCENTRIC GLAMOUR!’
$16 Publisher: Simon & Schuster (April 8, 2008).

The Christmas List

The Christmas List

The Christmas List
Lulu by Lulu De Kwiatkowski
A sumptuous and colorful anthology of artist and accomplished designer Lulu de Kwiatkowskis strikingly original handmade collages. Vivid and dreamlike, and sometimes autobiographical, her artwork draws heavily from her own 1970s childhood experiences and her travels to exotic locale.Chic de la Chic!
$63 Publisher: Ammo Books (May 1, 2008)

Issue 206

The FiFi Report Winter Fashion Spectacular!
Need to know what to buy for winter?
Need to know the key pieces you can’t live without? It’s all here…
Instructions:
1. Read
2. Print out
3. Shop
4. Fall in love…

What: The Jacket (Lanvin, Bottega Veneta Fall08).

Which: Two words: Icon jacket. Vogue UK coined this term and I like it. It’s not about the statement bag any more it’s about the statement jacket. (Remember the 90’s? No, I knew you couldn’t.) It’s all about the icon jacket for winter. It may be a jacket that’s structured and tailored. Think Chanel. YSL. it may be a jacket that has shoulders pads, with a lean cut. It may be a boyfriend jacket. Think Prada. It may be a suit jacket, or a puffa jacket (think Burberry) or it may be a zip biker jacket. It may be in velvet (big next winter) or it may be a Le Smoking Tuxedo jacket. It maybe all these . Change your jacket as often as your bag. (and your undies.
Why: Because next season is all about a stricter, leaner silhouette. Wave goodbye to the tunics, loose tops and oversized shapes that you have just discovered cover your muffin top (but have been around for the last 3 years. bless). Go on: bye bye. Au revoir. Toot a loo. Say Bonjour to tailoring, shape and chic. Say hello to your waist. And a skirt suit. Because we haven’t seen them for years and it suddenly looks new.
Wear: If you are going to wear a serious jacket the you don’t want any fights. No fighting over attention. So keep the basics clean and simple. Keep the jacket the centre of attention or it will get cranky. And no one wants a cranky jacket and fights. Wear with pencils skirts, with slouchy pants, with pretty 50’d skirts. Keep the tops and necklines simple. Anchor the look with major shoes and bags and keep everything in between classic and minimal.
Where:
Economy Class: Witchery for a black bomber $229 and a fab faux fur cape coat; Sportsgirl for a cool leather biker jacket $119 and a fabulous burgundy or taupe velvet blazer. $129. Cue for a puffa jacket.
Business Class: Head to Amorica for a brilliant Helmut Lang le smoking jacket in black stretch cotton $890. They also have a dark navy looser longer wool version. Delicious. Try Scanlan and Theodore for a gorgeous black, tailored wool fitted jacket $1200 or Sass and bide cotton/polyester cropped loose fitting parka $370. Try marcs or Saba and Country Road ( for a biker jacket) or Max and co for a divine velvet blazer about $480
First Class: Head to The Corner Shop for  a Fredrick Grey amazing hip length leather jacket $1495; to Kirrily Johnston for a brilliant short cropped bomber jacket in leather and suede $1135 or Try Vanessa Bruno, and Belinda, Burberry and Prada….

What: The Dress (Bogetta Veneta, CK Fall08).


Which: You can’t get enough of dresses and why Not? Throw on a dress, climb into shoes, grab your Birkin and you are out the door in no time. A dress is always right. You want a narrow dress this season. It’s a long, lean line. It’s a sheath dress. It stops at the knee. It holds those curves. It skims over lumps and bumps. It may have a flirty skirt if you want to cover more bumps and hide even more lumps. It comes in every fabric and every colour. Hint: Watch out floral dresses are a huge story for summer
Why: Because we are women and they are men. Because we love feeling pretty and feminine. Because a dress will work for any occasion. Because a dress can be floral, print, or plain. Because a dress is Trans-seasonal and will go from summer to winter by throwing on opaques. Because dresses were everywhere for next summer..
Wear: With a pretty dress you need the heavy platform shoes. With a lace up Balenciaga boot (you wish). A dress will work under a trench or with a biker jacket. A dress will work under a long line cardigan and belted it. A dress looks great with red hosiery and black heels. Always heels.
Where:
Economy: Witchery’s black sleeveless shift dress is a great buy; with an elastic waistband and button and tab back detail $129 or try Cue for a classic sheath about $199, and French connection for print dresses. Ksubi has a gorgeous but very tight fitting ‘skinny mini’ black sheath with panels that shape the body $275.
Business: Head to Zimmerman for fabulous print dress in chiffon about $400; To Arthur Galen for chic, sculptered, minimalist dresses about $300. Try Country Road, Veronica Maine and Max and Co for fab dresses in a 70’s style shape and print. Go to CK Calvin Klein for simplicity chic or Kirrily Johnston at Paddington for a sheath dresses cut into vertical jersey panels (good for the body) $396.
First: Drool over the structured Alberta Feretti tweed and Lurex silk dress at Belinda $2415 and sob over Prada, Lanvin and Chanel . Buy the Roland Mouret from net-a-porter and never look back.

What: The Pant (Versace, YSL Fall08)

Which: We love trousers. Or pants or whatever you call them. They cover things. Like legs and hips. They make you stride. They make you feel strong. They make getting dressed a little quicker. The good news? Go for whatever suits your shape (And isn’t that so very nice to hear?). Want slouchy wide pants? Go for them in grey with a high waist. Can get away with skinny narrow pants? Go for black and skin tight. Want Flared and high waist? Yes. Want Hipster and skinny? Yes. Want low waist and flared? Sorry No way. It’s embarrassingly last year. And I don’t want you embarrassed.
Why: Because with all those pretty, pretty dresses there is now a return to man style dressing. Because pants work so well with jackets (see above). Because there is something so 70’s about a pant. Because pants were seen all over the runways from Burberry to Balenciaga. And they know.
Wear: Remember to keep it in proportion. If you have a jacket that’s full on with big sleeves, then go for skinny pants to balance it out. If you have a bomber wear it over a pretty dress or a pencil skirt to add feminity. If you have wide slouchy pants go for a jacket that’s fitted and nipped in the waist. And it’s about showing off the waist. So always wear a belt.
Where:
Economy: Head to Witchery for fabulous black or stone fitted straight leg jodphur with contrast piping along the leg; $119; Country Road for the best flat front , wide leg, high waist pants around about $110. Head to Cue for high waist pants and Veronika Maine for grey slouchy about $180. Sportsgirl and Portmans both have good grey slouchy pants for great prices.
Business: Try CK Calvin Klein for fabulous pants in grey or black, Sass and Bide for black tight pants $190; Scanlan and Theodore for a wide leg/ semi-high waist black pants $400 or Miu Miu at Beinda black wide man-style pant $685. Amorica has a gorgeous pair of black Helmut Lang tailored skinny pants. For an amazing pant with a bit of WOW factor wear the TV gold lame pant from The Corner Shop; high-waisted pant and a slim fit on the legs $370.
First: You want Marni from Marni in Double Bay, or Chloe from David Jones. You want to fit into the tiny trousers at Burberry. You want the buy the Balenciaga and you dream of the YSL.

What: The Skirt (Balenciaga, YSL Fall08)

Which: The skirt has made a comeback. But then did it every go away? A skirt this season is two things. It’s a narrow pencil or it’s a pretty 50s flare. Take your pick. Wear a pencil one day and a full skirt the next. A big trend that’s coming? It’s the skirt suit. Don’t make a face. (Oh, you can’t? glad the botox is working). Don’t make that inner cringe either. The skirt suit was all over the runways for next winter 09 and it’s going to happen. Soon. So be lady-like and invest in a black pencil or a pretty frou frou flared skirt. You may wear a tulip skirt if like. Think table top dressing. Keep the bottoms basic and your tops exciting. (exceptions? Prada). 
Why: Because a skirt is nearly a dress but you can break it up and wear it with a jacket. Because we all need a wardrobe full of mix and match pieces. Because the 50’s lady like trend is here. And skirts can show off your shoes. Because with a black pencil skirt you look about 20 kilos lighter.. And that’s the best reason I ever heard.
Wear: A pretty full skirt needs a small jacket to show off the waist. Mix up the looks. Add a tough biker to a pretty skirt. Add a pretty soft blouse to a strict pencil skirt. Wear a skinny knit with a big floral skirt (Prada did) and try skirt suit a la Chanel (Marc Jacobs did). Wear with a belt wide or skinny. Wear with black opaques and your favourite lace up shoe boots. Stick to knee length unless you have great legs. Keep away from shin length unless you are a fashion guru…. you know 70’s mid length is coming back… ( quick more botox..).
Where:
Economy: Head to Country Road for a fab black pencil that sits on the knee and waist just right …about $129; try Cue for a full 50’s skirt about $180. Try French Connection, Kookai, Mango and Portmans.
Business: Head to Scanlan and Theodore for pretty chiffon skirts about $400; to Veronica Maine for pencil skirts and to Max and Co for divine chiffon.
First: Lanvin! Burberry! Prada! Thank you.

What: The Bag (Burberry, Marc Jacobs Fall08)

Which: You want a statement bag this season. It should still be so oversized and big you can’t find anything in it. You also want an oversized clutch. You want a structured lady like frame bag or something a little slouchy. It should be a colour like red or stone. It should have interesting hardware details a la Marc Jacobs. It could have fairies on it a la Prada (but that’s one out of the bag; so to speak). It could be in patchwork if it’s black a la Miu Miu. It can be in patent a la YSL or have amazing texture a la Burberry. Spend as much as you can on a bag. You want quality don’t you?
Why: Because a handbag can go anywhere with you. Because all the clothes this season are looking minimal, simple and structured so you want a bag that can dazzle. Because we love a big bag to throw around. Because if we are wearing a lot of grey and black we want a bag to add a little colour and texture.
Wear: Don’t think about rules. Throw a glamorous bag with jeans, a beaded bag in the day, an over sized clutch for work. I have said it so many times but I still get asked this question repeatedly: Forget about matching shoes and bags. Where have you been living? Under a Birkin? Ditch that idea. Now. So clash the colours, add personality to your wardrobe, mix it up. You want personal style don’t you?
Where
Economy: We love Witchery for the Marc Jacobs style Art Deco clutch about $250 and for the black multi gold or the zip bag about $229 or for black plastic hard case clutch with ribbed fan like ripples $69. Try Sportsgirl for a cute black satin clutch with a long detachable cross body chain $39 or an oversized cream clutch with a removable strap $29. Head to Nine West for Marc Jacobs style patent totes about $129.
Business: Head to Mimco for a black patent oversized tuxedo clutch with large silver turnlock $279, head to Kookai for Miu Miu inspired patchwork bag in black or stone about $220 or try Cue or Midas for good selection of bag. Myer also have a great collection of designer bags such as Cacherel which are better  but not over $1000. This is called a bargain in designer bag land.
First : If you got it you should spend it. Head to Prada, Burberry, Jimmy Choo , Evelyn Miles for Miu Miu and Cosmo shoes for Balenciaga bags galore.

What: The Shoe (Miu Miu Fall 08).

Which: Where would our life be without fabulous shoes? Short for one thing. Shoes this season are very high with a platform, or a wedge. This is good news for those FiFi Report readers who did what they were told 2 years ago and bought platforms when instructed. You can keep wearing them. You can also keep wearing any shoes in patent, in bright colours, with crazy details or heels. Anything with a round toe, with a chunky heel or laceup. You want a shoe boot. You want very high and you want flat. There is no in between. Sorry. In Boots you want laceup gladiator style a la Balenciaga or Prada, short suede, round toe boots or flat long riding boots. I like the look of shoes with opaques; my boots will keep snoozing for another season. Both Lanvin and Balenciaga showed pointy toes for next winter. This is serious news.
Why: Because we love shoes. Because we can go crazy with shoes and keep sane with our clothes. Because shoes fit on a fat day. Because it’s time to show personality with your feet. Because winter clothes are lean and mean so you want shoes and bags to be fun. And add an edge. Because you tell everything about a person by looking at their shoes.
Wear: Go crazy and experiment. Mix it up. Throw embellished heels with jeans, patent with your suit, red with all your work black. You want to wear black opaques hosiery with sling backs, with peep toes, with every shoe. You want to wear long flat boots with skirts and your short boots with sweater dresses. You want to wear ballet flats with jeans, boots with dresses and lace up shoes with skirts. Don’t tuck your jeans into boots. That look is over.
Where:
Economy: Try Mollini, Nine West, and Witchery for the best ballet flats and great designers heels at great prices. Aldo have fabulous patent Lanvin style sexy mama heels and so does Zu.
Business: Head to The Corner Shop who has collaborated with Via Roma in Italy to custom make ballet flats in all colours and the option of round or square toe $195. Try Midas for patent shoe boots about $220, Go to Wittner for Balenciaga style stud platforms and fabulous Lanvin style ballet flats about $150. David Jones have the best shoe selection in town.
First: Head to David Jones for ALL the best designers labels in the world. From Christian Louboutin to Prada, YSL, Chloe and Jil sander. Louboutin is also at Scanlan and Theodore( you want the black platform very high heel $900) Or head to Jimmy Choo, Prada and Gucci or hand over your black Amex to Net-a-porter…

Other Must Have Accessories: (Burberry, Lanvin Fall08).

  Long, long gloves, huge oversized scarves, multiple cuffs and amazingbig chunky necklaces. Belts, belts and more belts. Wide orskinny. Patent, in a colour or simply classic brown. Cinch in your waist. That is anorder. Brooches are cool and so is any heirloom jewels. You can leavethe earrings in the drawer. They have a hangover.

Easy Chicken, Leek and Mushroom Pie… adulterated from Donna Hay

Easy Chicken, Leek and Mushroom Pie… adulterated from Donna Hay
It’s getting cold. It’s getting wintery. Time for making pies. Don’t be afraid. It’s easy. Buy the pastry. Cook chicken, leek and mushroom. Cut pastry. Put chicken in. Pop on lid. Cook. Eat.
You need for 4 pies ( enough for 30 models, 2 men, 4 hungry gourmands):

1 tablespoon olive oil
50g butter
1 leek, sliced
200g button mushrooms, chopped
2 x 200g chicken breast fillets, trimmed and chopped
sea salt and cracked black pepper
2 tablespoon Dijon mustard ( Donna says 2 teasp. I say more)
6 sheets store-bought butter puff pastry
1 egg, lightly beaten

  • Preheat oven to 200ºC.
  • Find a baking tray and moisterise with butter and oil
  • Climb into fur coat
  • Pull on ugg boots
  • Tuck Hermes scarf into Cashmere sweater ( stops it dipping into cooking)
  • Pour a wine
  • Take off long Burberry gloves
  • Take out the frozen pastry. Think of your feet. Frozen
  • Chop the leek up into the size of the credit left on the Amex. Not much
  • Chop up the mushrooms into the size of Gucci buckle ( big)
  • Chop up chicken into the size of Marni bauble ( bitesize)
  • Heat the oil in a non-stick frying pan over high heat. You want it hot,baby, hot
  • Toss in the naughty delicious butter, the leek and mushrooms and cook for about 5 minutes. Smells divine
  • Throw in the chicken and cook for 2-3 minutes until sealed and lightly browned as an Hermes bag. Don’t cook through; it will do that in the oven.
  • Taste, lick fingers, and then add lots of salt, pepper and mustard and do it again ( taste/lick fingers)
  • Give it a little mix.
  • You are now going to make the pie and play with pastry
  • You may need another wine for that. Just one.
  • Pull out the pastry and find a cookie cutter for 14cm. You won’t have that so find a bowl or a glass about 14cm to use to cut out the rounds ( the base of the pie)
  • Cut out about 4.
  • Now you are going to cut out the pastry tops for pies ; they should be about 16cm round ( note top is bigger than the bottoms. Think big top small bottom. Pamela Anderson)
  • Pop the smaller rounds as the base of the pies on the baking tray
  • Plop the chicken mix in the middle of each one and then put the pastry lid on.
  • Hint: not too much in each pie or it will spill and leak out when it’s cooking.
  • This means cover it with the bigger rounds and press edges together to make it a real live pie. ( yes; use your fingers).
  • If you are feeling very snazzy and Nigella like then you can brush the pastry with egg.
  • If you are feeling too pissed brush your hair.
  • Throw in the oven and bake for about 20 minutes or until as golden as Gwyneth.
  • Serve with a green salad and a crusty bread and a glass of wine …Then light the fire..
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Beyonce queen B!
Beyonce is on the cover
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23 August 2012

You have a $1000: what do you spend it on?

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