• "Most celebrities are annoying. So, I agree, celebrities are annoying. The fact that I am one is annoying." Rosie O’Donnell is annoying me by saying that.
• "She has a disease. Sometimes when you see her she’s in the middle of an episode. It’s like mocking someone with Down syndrome." ….”Wow. Did that person just say Britney Spears has Down syndrome? That’s a bit harsh. To people with Down syndrome that is. They try their best and are surprisingly great with kids” says the superficial.
• "Britney (left) wants to live. I’m not crazy. I miss the kids and I did love Kevin." -Britney crying hysterically. Now repeat in an English accent.
• "Britney has an angel looking out for her, don’t you, angel?" Britney talking to thin air. It’s so annoying talking to yourself.
• "When Britney was a child, she had to work really hard. When she was 13 years old, she won all the beauty pageants." Britney continues talking about herself in the third person. In an English accent.
• "I wish the best for her and I just wish everyone would leave her alone so she could live her life. She’s a great mother and a great girl and I really care about her." — Paris Hilton, on Britney Spears. And we will take notice of Paris who is such a reliable citizen. Say that in an English accent.
• “I don’t think [Spears’ current hospitalization] surprises anybody. All I’ve ever try to do is help. I don’t know the circumstances of how she wound up in the hospital today, but if it’s moving in that direction, that could be a good thing." ‘Dr. Phil likes feeling relevant. Otherwise he turns into the Incredible Hulk and eats children.’ Reports thesuperficial
• "She went willingly. It was like something in her heart was telling her she should go. She knew something was wrong," confidant Sam Lutfi . There was no suicide attempt which had previously been rumored.There has been no sign of Dr. Phil. He’s probably still firing up the Phil-jet….says thesuperficial
• "I hate dieting. I hate having to do it to be the ‘right’ size. I’m hungry all the time…All actresses are hungry all the time, I think." It’s a disease..Julianne Moore obviously has not met Rosie O’Donnell.

We love Marc Jacobs. Everything he does is cool. Now he has launched a collection of T shirts and convinced the Fembot Vicky B to pose naked on the front. All in a good cause. It’s to raise money for The Interdisciplinary Melanoma Cooperative Group at New York University. At US $35 it’s the cheapest and chicest piece of Marc Jacobs you can ever own. Only for sale at Marc Jacobs stores.
www.marcjacobs.com and go to special items.

Flowers were blooming all over the runways for resort and spring summer shows. It’s a huge trend. From Balenciaga to Prada, to Thakoon and Dolce Gabbana. So before you start to climb back into black and grey for next winter get into the trend early and look out for anything with pretty flowers and lovely florals in the sales. Head to FCUK, general Pants, Tree of Life or Zimmerman. Try Kookai or cotton on. Then head to The Mothership Prada.com to drool. www.prada.com

Sometimes putting on your makeup can be puzzling. Do you put on the primer or moisteriser first? Do you fill the botox marks with concealer or foundation? Do you drink the lipgloss or sniff the perfume? Will it change your life or your destiny if you apply the wrong eyeshadow? Now Lancôme have cleverly designed this cute little cube. “It fits in the palm of your hand, feminine and decorative, carved in a precious metal. Throw it and one of its 17 faces stamped with a metallic symbol or look for a key-word to foretell the future. Enchanting? Femme fatale? Jealous? Flirtatious? Secretive? It’s up to Destiny Cube to decide. Protected inside lies an eye shadow duo on the one side and a lipstick with matching gloss on the other.” (Answers: Drink the botox.) How fun!

Lancôme Destiny Cluedo Cube from 4th of Feb. $89 at Myer and David Jones.

• Keira Knightley appears in the February 2008 issue of W (above left), clad solely in Chanel (minus a tutu from tutu.com). She also appears in a photoshoot (above right) for Canadian magazine Strut in which she seems to pay homage to 60’s supermodel Twiggy… from pinkisthenewblog.
• ‘Lapo Elkann and Carine Roitfeld will get together for a party atIndochine Thursday night to celebrate the kickoff of New York FashionWeek and to fete a special project between amfAR and Care Label, theeco-friendly denim and T-shirt brand in which the scion of the Fiatdynasty has a stake and is relaunching’ WWd
• ‘Bella Freud will promote her new collection, Demonstration through themedium of film. The designer is working with The Queen director StephenFrears on a three minute short, also called Demonstration, which hasbeen written to showcase her creations’. WWD
• ”What was Bill Clinton doing in the lobby of 4 Times Square Monday afternoon? The former president was spotted at the headquarters of Condé Nast Publications with a team of Secret Service agents and a photographer wearing a badge that identified him as being with the Clinton camp. Clinton’s appearance created some buzz throughout the halls, considering his wife and presidential candidate Sen. Hillary Clinton ruffled the feathers of Vogue editor in chief Anna Wintour after backing out of a photo shoot for the magazine. Could he have been trying to smooth things over with Wintour, or just attempting to garner votes for his wife in New York’s primary on Feb. 5? ‘reports WWD
• ‘The entire Spring issue of POP magazine is dedicated to the ageless Stephanie Seymour.
• After the size zero controversy, Viktor Horsting and Rolf Snoeren havegone a step further by re-creating their designs in the smallestpossible proportions — doll size. The Dutch duo have dressed sevenantique porcelain dolls for an installation in London’s Selfridges.They include one whose face is painted in black glitter, à la theirfall 2001 collection, and another that wears a gold lamé dress completewith a gold mesh mask. The dolls are encased in glass cabinets in thestore’s Wonderwall — There’s also a tiny TV screen stationed by eachdoll, along with a pair of gold headphones, so shoppers can see theoriginal piece in action on the runway and listen to the sounds of theshow. WWD
• Designer e-tailer Net-a-porter.com has struck an exclusive deal with the soon-to-be-relaunched Halston. The day after the show, Net-a-porter will begin selling two of Halston’s fall runway looks on its site, with same-day delivery in London and New York and anywhere else in the world the day after.
• ‘Marc Jacobs, Stella McCartney, Jil Sander, Burberry, Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, Donna Karan, Narciso Rodriguez and Versace are among the designers pushing sustainability to the top of their agendas in 2008, having signed up to take part in a special show to raise awareness of ethical issues in fashion. Each will create a one-of-a-kind design for Earth Pledge’s FutureFashion catwalk show on January 31, with the aim of promoting "renewable, reusable and nonpolluting materials and methods’ WWD reports.
• Miuccia Prada has a pet project: Trembled Blossoms, an original animated short inspired by artwork created by James Jean. The Taiwanese-American illustrator and DC Comics cover artist seems to have cast a spell on Prada, who featured his naughty nymphs not only in the new film but also in her Spring show, ad campaign, and store design. The filmmakers used the latest digital and Motion Capture technology to recreate the look of the lush animation of Disney’s 1930’s and 1940’s heyday. Think Fantasia 2.0. WWD
• In a move to reinforce its travel heritage and reach out to potentialnew consumers, Louis Vuitton is launching its first television andcinema ads. The artsy and dreamlike spots — with only fleeting glimpsesof leather goods and a soundtrack of stirring guitar music — are slatedto break Feb. 15 in some 15 countries and run throughout 2008. Titled"Where will life take you?," the commercial features questions like"What is a journey?" WWD (pictured left).

 
www.gawker.com
Check out Tom Cruise’s Indoctrination Video for Scientology. Super Scary to the point of hillarious.

www.funnyordie.com
Jerry Oconnel’s spoof of Tom Cruise: Hilarious, especially after watching the real one….

• Breaking news! Anna Wintour was seen without sunglasses (above left).
• "While it’s true that Angelina could be hiding incubating twinsunderneath this dress it is only fair to say that should could also behiding a small VW Beetle in there just as easily." Says pinkisthenewblog (picture above right).
• Gwen Stefani is pregnant again. Hiding a Porche under there.
• Britney has bipolar disorder. Has been hospitalised. I know. I am surprised too.
• Ethan Hawke is pregnant with his former nanny to his children. Not a VW Beetle yet. Maybe a Land Rover?
• J.Lo is about to drop twins. She is incubating a semi trailer.
• Eva Longoria is not pregnant but practicing alot.
• Amy Winehouse is still; in rehab, not pregnant, has no nanny but is probably bipolar.
• Paris Hilton has had enough sex to have triplets, not bipolar,but possibly Bi sexual when she was seen smooching Elisha Cuthberth.
• Chistina Ricci was sexually assaulted by a chimpanzee on the set of her latest movie.
• Lindsay Lohan is hitting the bottle again. But is not yet pregs, may-be bi-polar, most probably dating a monkey.
• George Clooney is a cheeky monkey.

Top Tips for Girls: Real advice from real women for real life by Kate Reardon
‘Top Tips from this girl…This book is FANTASTIC!’ says Donatella Versace ‘A winning combination of your grandmother’s style wisdom and style secrets. It’s invaluable’ says Jo Malone. If you’ve ever wondered how to get more juice out of a lemon, how to tame a rogue eyebrow or how to throw the best parties, this beautiful, indispensable book has all those answers and many, many more including: How to write a thank you letter; How to stop yourself calling your ex and How to get rid of slugs on the lawn …Top Tips for Girls: Real advice from real women for real life’.
£5.59 www.amazon.co.uk Publisher: Headline Book Publishing (12 Feb 2008)

The Christmas List
American Fashion (Hardcover) by Charlie Scheips
Commissioned by the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA), AMERICAN FASHION is a visual journey celebrating American fashion. Beginning with Hollywood and New York during the1930s to the years surrounding World War II it goes on to explore the achievements of American design’s brand name marquee stars of the 1980s and 1990s. Chic.
$31 www.amazon.com Publisher: Assouline (September 2007)

Economy Class:
Cue:It’s black and grey and navy from one end of the shop to the other. I think it’s chic. I think it’s wearable. I think it’s great to razz it all up with accessories in colour. You want a lot of these clothes. Start with a black shift dress with cute cap sleeves in an interesting textured bubble fabric $239. Hint: How many times do I have to tell you ? Go for texture, shine or beading when wearing black. You are not a nun (even though Geoge Cloooney has been away for weeks.). Check out the black or is it navy anorak $429 is a little steep but the fabric must be nice. Love the black knit hoodie with a red zip $149; the burgundy knit Tee $69 and the black A taffeta zip front jacket with wide sleeves and V neck $249. Also check out the drop waist satin dress with a knit trim and the very YSL black satin square neck dress. $299. There is a grey DB trench $279; and a Roland Mouret style fitted dress. You remember the Galaxy dress form seasons ago? Sienna Miller wore it in Venice. It’s slimline fit is so right again. Ditch any fatty arbuckle shapes from that have been around for the last 2 seasons and slide into a sheath dress. It’s so chic. Now buy the fab grey dress with shoe string straps in grosgrain that hangs loosely about $279. There is a grey blazer, very school boy with a black trim along the collar but not sure of the fabric about $279.Love the jean Shrimpton style 60’s shift dress; very straight tunic style with two cute patch pockets on the bosoms. Wear it with patent wedges, and a chic square shoulder bag $189
Esprit:
There are some cute pieces this week just arrived: Love the grey cotton shirt dress with a fab belt that has a gunmetal buckle. In fact buy the dress and snitch the belt to wear with other pieces. It’s a bit Louis Vuitton . A shirt dress will look right with wedges or platforms. The short sleeves are good if you want to cover all those croissants and icecream that have stuck to the top of your arms over the holidays. Also buy the grey short grey stone $159 with epaulettes but is single breasted but not bad at all. Also check out the fabulous bags here: Grey or caramel patent oversized bags with balck hardware; they look expensive but for you special price of $109. Wear them love them and think how you have saved $1800 on the Marni or Miu Miu version. Then buy some Marc Jacobs shoes,. Also buy the greycargoes pants $70 and go here for great classic Tees in white or grey.$24. There are also some Tees with 3 chic buttons along the neck inchoc about $34. I see grey knit cotton sweater dress; quite cool ; it’sloose and easy to wear. Just make sure you have chunky heels to balancethe look $99. The navy blazer in cotton is quite good it comes with itsown belt $149.
Nine West:
Love the shoes here: On the money and on the trend. They work in the American season so they get the latest shoes. Love the black satin laceup shoe boots a la Marc Jacobs about $159; the round toe grey wedges $129 and the very YSL with a peep toe and a big chunky long wide heel $149. There are some fab little elasticized ballet flats in blacks and grey about $129. Check out the black, round toe platform pumps with a white toe and a thick square heel. You want a thick square heel. Nothing spindly. Please. You need a heavier shoe to balance the silhouette but also it will make running for the Limo so much easier. $149, Excellent. Also examine the fabulous grey, black or stone round toe suede short boots. Of course if you had listened to FiFi last season you would have bought these last winter. For all the dags out there a little behind the times keep reading The FiFi Report and you will be groovy and chic soon. I promise. Love the short boot. So what if they cut off your leg a little. Low slung jeans made your legs look short and empire dresses made you look like Cate Blanchett. Now. That’s why we love fashion. There are no rules and it changes: ah and it brings so much joy. Now back to shopping: Buy the snazzy oversized clutch bags. There is a black or grey patent, not sure of the grey moc-croc it’s more mock than croc. But we love the silver metal label on the front just look at it too closely because it will say Nine West in stead of Jimmy Choo. Don’t cry. You will be laughing when you read the price tag: $79. Buy the black or grey patent peep toe with platform, almost a loafer style with a heel and a toggle about $149. A one stop shop.
Mollini:
Another fab shop for serious fashion shoes at a great prices. This means you save money twice. Once on the shoes and once on the Botox (there is less frowning excessively at Mastercard bills). Buy the Miu Miu or Prada style pointy toe pumps in the ombre patent in blush or grey $138. What is ombre you may ask? Bless. That the graduated shading I dislike intensely in sunglasses but I love in shoes and bags. You may have a pointy toe if it’s a Prada or Lanvin. Real or fake. But really they are so out they are nearly back in. Nearly. I did the pumps in bright colours in The Mothership ( Prada) and they are quite chic. Bu they have great potential to look cheap. We can’t have FiFi report readers looking like that. So please buy the Prada-esque square toe double strap heels $128 satin and the Mary-Jane black patents with a wooden stacked heel, Cool $148. I spy gunmetal wedges with huge Christmas style baubles on the toe exact copy of Luboutin perhaps? Yes Christmas is over but they are cute if you can carry them off. Also try the lace up shoes boots. The shoe of the season. Repeat after me. I want a lace up shoe-boot. I want a laceup shoe boot. I want the Marc jacobs lace up…
Business Class:
Country Road: I see some fabulous new season pieces here: One of the best buys has to be the snazzy cream patent belted trench; so very Marni and you need it in this rain $249. Bargain. Buy the black drape shiny tee $139 in a glitter fabric. Don’t be scared of shine or texture this season. You need it to lift the black and grey and make you look like you are terribly edgy and interesting. This tee is a great piece for transeasonal dressing. That is dressing from now til it’s gets cold. You want the grey heavy cotton round neck tee: it’s a great cut and skims over the lumps and muffin tops which of course I know you don’t have. It sits without clinging. How nice. Buy the tulip black skirt on elastic so you can eat more croissants for breakfast without any pain about $99. I see a chic navy sleeveless dress with a paneled front and glo-mesh, that is correct – glo-mesh metal insert. Cool $249. I like the black wool gab jacket that have tulip or cocoon sleeves and hem, very Lanvin about $349. The jackets have a round neckline and 4 top buttons, very 50’s couture. Wear with a narrow pencil skirt so you don’t look like the Michelin man. The short stone trench is chic , belted with ¾ sleeves, nice to lighten up the black and control any bright colour $199. Also buy the shoes: the Marni esque t-bar patent wedges we saw in summer in black and silver are now in a divine dark grey patent. Double Divine. And in those stilt wedges you can walk through puddles and still about 5 inches out of water to protect the pedicure. Excellent.
Scanlan and Theodore:The sale continues! Head here for a lot of fab pieces to buy. You will be happy to know the winter collection arrives in store on Tuesday. Thank the lord. In the meantime check out the sale where I think it’s all 50% off. Go for the black shift dress in a knit now $300; the black silk tunic with ¾ sleeves now $300 and the red Iggy dress with buttons down the front and a very square shape now $300. You want beautiful tweed dress now $325 ; the crop black and white tweed jacket and simple shift dress. There are simple tees, great tops, knits and so many great pieces to take you through to winter. In accessories I love the t-bar flat mules almost thongs in bright neon patent pink, yellow and orange now $130. Gorgeous. Will someone please buy the chic lace up denim wedges with a peep toe in a fabric; so right for next winter now $240.
Paul and Joe:
On sale! Which is excellent news. I see a lot of fab pieces to buy. And the good news it’s a mix of this autumn/winter and last summer. If you want a glittering dress then you may buy the black or silver. $499. In fact it’ has oversized sequins, called paillettes and very glamorous. More red carpet than dinner at home whipping up a Pavlova and George Clooney. Not in that order. Go for the blue cap sleeve tunic top, roomy enough to eat 3 donuts and no one will notice now about $500. Please buy the fabulous black skirt with a front inverted pleat and two pockets, very 70’s , so right now $595 and the sweeter dress in grey, loose and sexy with bright tights and platforms a la Stella McCartney now $495. The short black patent boots with a bow at the back are sensational now reduced to $799. The blue Marle tee’s are now $49. perfect. You may now leave the building.
First Class
Bally: So many gorgeous new shoes bags and clothes. Love the orange or black patent bags with serious gold hardware: there is a structured Doctors bag about $1600; a huge slouch bag with interesting strap of tortoiseshell links $1600; black patent or orange patent heels $495; a fancy orange patent tennis bag and a of course fabulous patent belts. Love, love, love the black patent Mary Janes $595; the fabulous 20’s style lace up shoe/boot spectator style black patent , so high , so sexy about $595. We all want the long black flat boots about $700 and the orange patent mules about $495. In the clothes collection (In Pitt St store) check out cream crinkle cut leather bomber $3800; a chiffon cream blouse with pretty cap ruffles sleeves and a divine black satin blouse with pleated poets sleeves and a tie neckline $650. There is a chic de la chic simple black tweed short single breasted trench $1500; divine classic balck pants and a black leather bomber. Buy the pretty black velvet and jersey dress with a V neck and flare skirt $825. There is a very Chanel style tweed jacket with frayed edges and a white trim. Lovely.
Chanel: Nautical but nice in here. Thank you Mr Lagerfeld. In fact it’s nautical with a very fifties slant. How chic. I see a lot of navy and white stripes with highlights of red or bright peach tones. Beautiful. Love and adore the navy wool knit dress; A straight through shift with sensational cut out section at the breasts. Its made in a very heavy knit $5,650. Buy two. Love and adore the platform pumps with a closed front (from the resort collection 08). They’re in a navy and white striped canvas with red leather lining and small bow. They were sitting happily next to the equally gorgeous bright peach (almost red) pumps. So happy together they almost kissed. And so did I. Also in the same tone of red was a simple cute card wallet with the Chanel emblem in gold on the front, very chic $330. Buy ten. Love, love, love the vintage but new again quilted chain bags in black and red. Buy one for every day of the week. Then check out the very ‘out there’ ( Rachel Zoe would love it ) gold and semi-precious stone snake necklace or its panther-like matching bracelet. Snazzy.
Gucci: How thoughtful there is a sale here. Buy up the sunglasses for a start. Then faint looking at the gorgeous black platform half-shoe (the ankle is bare) boots on sale. they are black with gold trimmings and all leather now $525! Buy the black leather shoe boot with a very high heel and black leather laces for $440! The head to the clothes racks where there is a vision of the black, white and yellow prints from SS07, as well as the navy and yellow bamboo print. You desperately want the black leather jacket $4,405. It is molded to the body with every dart imaginable and the neck is trimmed with a delicate leather frill = luxe. Then after the Mastercard explodes and there is mayhem in Gucci sneak over and buy the the silver Gucci-tag necklaces for $275 and slink out the door.

Crispy Ice-Cream Cups….from Donna Hay

What an easy little dessert this is! Takes longer to write it.
Instructions: Cook wontons with butter. Toss in a scoop of ice-cream. Sprinkle with sugar. Eat!

You need for 12 dags, 20 models, 2 fatties:
1-pack wonton wrappers
40g unsalted butter, melted
Ice-Cream as desired
icing sugar for accessorizing

• Panic about 12 people coming to lunch.
• Look in fridge.
• See packet of wontons and ice-cream.
• Pour champagne. Relax.
• Preheat oven to 200°C.
• Unpack wontons on the bench for easy moisterising with butter.
• Melt butter.
• Breathe in lovely smell. No calories in smelling.
• Find a brush in your makeup bag you don’t need.
• Dip it in the melted butter and then brush wonton wrappers with lovely fattening goo.
• Find muffin tray. Preferably non stick. Sorry but ice-cream will still stick to your bottom. Is not non stick.
• Press wonton wrappers into a 12 muffin tray.
• Tip: Use 2 wontons wrappers if you want to make it thicker and crispier but make sure you brush butter to add more calories and deliciousness between each layer.
• Toss in the oven and cook for about 5-6 minutes. You want them as golden and crispy as Donatella on a good day.
• Drink more champers as you watch the oven.
• When they look as chic and as golden as a Miu Miu bag take them out and let them cool on a wire rack.
• Pop on divine new Lanvin silk dress.
• Apply lip-gloss, fake eyelashes and bronzer.
• Dust with icing sugar. The wrappers not you. It could get a little sticky.
• Dust your self with blush.
• Now find some gorgeous ice-cream.
• And scoop it into the cups.
• Accessorize with a chic green leaf of mint . The ice-cream not you. Prada did mint leaves for summer so try a sprig on your dress.
• Eat.