The FiFi Report 179
31 August 2007
Issue 179
  • ‘When it comes to getting dressed, men are a little bit moreimportant than handbags but less important than shoes. At any rate, weare merely accessories.” Ashton Kutcher has got it wrong. Men willnever be more important than handbags
  • “Blake is the best man in the world. We would never ever harmeach other. I was cutting myself after he found me in our room about todo drugs with a call girl. I lost it and he saved my life” What a guy!What a handbag! Amy Winehouse doesn’t need a husband to harm her; shedoes it herself.
  • “I’d like to see Hillary Clinton be president. It would benice to see a woman be the actual president and … this is a way forus to have Bill Clinton be president again, and he did a great jobduring his term.” 50 Cent thinks Hillary is an accessory and an oldbag.
  • “OK, I’m on the cover of a magazine but somebody else doesthe hair, and the makeup, and airbrushes the f— out of me - it’s notme, it’s something other people have created.” - Keira Knightley,pretending she is an ugly old bag.
  • “I would like to dedicate this award to a young man who hasbeen on my mind for the last 19 years: Ross. Ross didn’t love me. I waspigeon-toed, I had a sway back, I was slightly cross-eyed,buck-toothed, I sucked my thumb. Look at me now, Ross! Look at me now!”Jessica Alba pretending she was ugly.
  • “I came to visit Owen Wilson, get the f**k away from me. Why are you guys here?” Samuel L. Jackson (ugly)
  • “I know James has the deepest respect for Spider-Man and wouldnever want anything to happen to Spider-Man’s girlfriend.” A33-year-old mechanic who was arrested in connection with the robbery ofKirsten Dunst’s New York hotel suite. Someone please tell him.
  • “I really don’t like the gym, in fact I can’t stand it. Itried cycling in Spain but maybe my bum’s too small “Vicki B ( AKA Posh) the only woman who can say my bum looks too small in this.
Father’s Day

It’s Friday afternoon. You have devoured The FiFi Report. You zoom like a mad fashion editor at The Balenciaga Show into stores. You are in a frenzy as you struggle into fabulous new $800 Chloe platforms. You are overcome by a warm fuzzy feeling. Then something catches your eye. A Fathers Day poster. You stare at the $800 Chloe platforms. They look back at you, pleading and begging to be adopted. To be taken home and adored. It’s the shoe or a father’s Day present. Time is running out. How can spend $800 shoes and forget about your father’s Day present. (insert excuse here). You turn away, dab your eyes, put the Black Amex trying to jump out of your hand back into the Birkin. Suddenly you become a responsible citizen. Someone who must pay off their credit card. Someone who has control over their spending. Someone who is never extravagant. You rush to the ABC Shop and find the perfect present. A book. “Don’t Do It Yourself Handbook’ For men who try to tinker with jobs around the house and DYI but who never get it right. it’s for those men who whistle when they work and call tools funny names. ‘From Saturday morning, ABC Local Radio 702’s Weekend Woodies (Peter Masia and Les Miller ) it features Tools of the Week, the Boofheads of the Week and other hilarious miscellaneous pearls of wisdom. It’s $24.95. You just about afford that. If you don’t eat. That now leaves only $775.05 to pay on the shoes.
$24.95 Don’t Do It Yourself Handbook’ from ABC Books

Revlon Brow Fantasy Pencil and Gel

Scientific Fact #1: Worst ever Beauty problem is Hair. Found anywhere except your head. But especially on your face.
Scientific Fact #2: All hair needs taming. Wherever it is.
Scientific Fact #3: Eyebrows always need help.
Scientific Fact #4: Revlon’s Brow Fantasy Pencil and Gel will help. Watch it define and style your brows in two snazzy quick steps. First step. Grab the pencil and fill in all the holes and gaps in your brows. The colour pencil is very soft, subtle and incredibly blendable. Step 2: The brush-on sheer-tint gel on the other end of the pencil has a brush that will style, shape and then set al those crazy way ward brows.
Scientific Fact #5: You will no longer like John Howard.

$22.95 Brow Fantasy Pencil and Gel available at David Jones nationally.

Issue 179
  • Bored this weekend? Then hop on a plane and jet off to the Venice Film Festival
  • This is a new skin care line from Edun ( nude spelt back wards)
  • Need to escape? Go to ELSEWHERE. Goa’s best kept secret. Ifyou are looking for a Small Luxury Hotel, Luxury Tents, a BoutiqueHotel in Goa, a Romantic Retreat, birdwatchers paradise, ecotourism,beach resort, villa rental, or just the most beautiful exotic locationfor a holiday in Goa, you have found your destination.
  • The latest US Vogue recommends you head here to Trancoso in Brazil . So do I. Chic!
  • Please stay here in Paris. J’insiste.
  • DivinePrada’s hotly anticipated party during New York Fashion Week will have a strong artsy bent. Revelers on Sept 7 will take in a private concert by rockers The Hours under a gigantic skull-shape mirror ball designed by none other than Damien Hirst, who has also created skull-studded wallpaper that will decorate the monumental wall in Prada’s SoHo store, site of the bash. The British artist, pal of the band, is expected to attend
  • Beauty Perfume : Prada will launch their third major scent, and Fendi’s first fragrance in almost twenty years is about to hit shelves. Estee Lauder recently released a new version of the classic Private Collection and Kate Moss will launch a new scent.
  • Chloë Sevigny will present a collection for the label Opening Ceremony during New York Fashion week. WWD
  • Tom Ford will flip the spotlight onto artist Marilyn Minter, feting the publication of her new monograph with a party at his Madison Avenue store in Manhattan. Ford is more than just a casual fan: Minter shot print ads for his men’s wear and eyewear lines in her signature iconoclastic style, which will appear in magazines throughout the fall.
  • Off to London? Head to KOKO a cavernous Victorian-era theatre in Camden where skinny 18-year-olds with a curtain of bangs and drainpipe jeans regularly clamor to see the next big indie act alongside celebs such as Kate Moss, Peaches Geldof, Kelly Osbourne and Stella McCartney reports WWD.
  • Levi Strauss and Co. is ready to rock the record business.In aworld first for Levi’s, the company’s Australian division has formed analliance with Melbourne-based music marketing company Rodriguez tolaunch Levity records.
  • Who’s London’s hippest party girl right now? Not Lily Allen orAmy Winehouse, but Jodie Harsh, a 23-year-old drag queen fromCanterbury who’s a favorite of Alexander McQueen, Gareth Pugh, and theMisShapes, But Harsh, a.k.a. Jay Clarke, is more practical than histaste for glitter would suggest. He has a registered company, HarshTimes; writes for various magazines; dreams of hosting a talk show; andis in talks with MAC to be spokesmodel. &quote;I would say I am a businessperson before I am a man who dresses as a woman. I don’t do drag everyday-put me under the shower and I’m 100% a trendy boy,’
www.kathandkim.com

http://www.kathandkim.com
Come in if you are good looking! …Hilarious

http://www.contessanally.blogspot.com
Harper’s BAZAAR included this blog in their list of favourite websites. It’s a glamourous blog from Countess Nally Bellati ‘about exhibitions, collections, festivals and interesting happenings from all over the world’ . The latest is from Capri and it looks divine!

Issue 179
  • Britney is being her usual self and left the house and forgot towear her pants. ‘I have no idea what’s going through Britney Spears’mind period. If you could peek inside her brain I’m pretty sure you’dsee a cartoon kitty taking a nap" says thesuperficial.
  • Keira Knightley was seen accessorising her oversized bag With an Actual Smile…, reports jezebel
  • Amy Winehouse was seen on holiday in the Caribbean and actually exposed herself to sunlight
  • Dear Renee Zellweger: Whatever it is you’re doing to yourself? Please Stop.
  • Britney Spears is under investigation for possible childabuse. "Sadly, this had to be the easiest case to put together. Allinvestigators had to do is follow her to McDonald’s and watch her setthe kids under the French fry lamp. She usually returns to get themafter a couple of days. It’s kind of cute actually.’ Reportsthesuperfical.
  • Eva Mendes was seen multitasking while walking in wedges.
  • Owen Wilson did, in fact, attempt suicide but reportedly he slit hiswrists, he didn’t overdose. That was Pete Doherty having his usual Sunday.
  • Gwen Stefani deserves a medal for looking fabulous " I don’twant to point any fingers, but sometimes when people have kids they getfat and ugly and forget to wear pants. And are named Britney. Spears.Britney Spears. I’m talking about Britney Spears." Reportsthesuperficial
  • Model Irina Lazareanu was arrested yesterday along with long time friend Pete Doherty.
  • Vogue Editor Anna Wintour yook off her sunglasses, was seen smiling…. reports Jezebel
  • The parents of Amy Winehouse and her husband urged them to gethelp. "They are drug addicts," they say. Thanks. We didn’t realise.
  • Lindsay Lohan was reportedly caught taking drugs and havingsex in rehab and has been warned she’ll be thrown out if she doesn’tstay clean.
  • Calvin Klein’s ex-wife Kelly is set to become a mom for the first time age 50.
  • Paris Hilton has taken out her hair extensions. This is called news
  • The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is convinced that Britney Spears’ Yorkie received proper care for its broken leg, despite concerns which were raised last Friday. People Magazine reports: Phew! Thank God. She’s only abusing the kids. Because, for a minute there, I thought, “Wow, she is really out of control.” But now, everything is okay. I can sleep soundly at night. Small animals are not in danger. Just human children. Glad that’s cleared up reports the superficial
Two Lives: Gertrude and Alice by Janet Malcolm

Two Lives: Gertrude and Alice by Janet Malcolm

Two Lives: Gertrude and Alice by Janet Malcolm
“How had the pair of elderly Jewish lesbians survived the Nazis?” Janet Malcolm asks at the beginning of this extraordinary work of literary biography and investigative journalism. The pair, of course, is Gertrude Stein, the modernist master “whose charm was as conspicuous as her fatness” and “thin, plain, tense, sour” Alice B. Toklas, the “worker bee” who ministered to Stein’s needs throughout their forty-year expatriate “marriage.” The portrait of the legendary couple that emerges from this work is unexpectedly charged. The two world wars Stein and Toklas lived through together are paralleled by the private war that went on between them. This war, as Malcolm learned, sometimes flared into bitter combat.
$16 Publisher: Yale University Press (Sept 27, 2007)

The Christmas List

The Christmas List

The Christmas List
Bob Richardson by Terry Richardson, Bob Richardson.
Fashion photographer Bob Richardson (1928-2005) first began to publish his powerful, transgressive and emotionally charged black-and-white images in the high-fashion press of the 1960s.Always a cult photographer (and widely credited with influencing such peers as Peter Lindbergh, Steven Meisel and Bruce Weber), Richardson was plagued by schizophrenia, and he lived hard-experimenting freely with sex and drugs throughout a life of extreme highs and lows. Perhaps most famous for the profoundly compelling portraits he made of his then-partner and muse Angelica Houston in the 1970s, while the 1980s found him homeless and living on the streets of Los Angeles. This beautifully-produced volume is the first ever dedicated to Richardson’s oeuvre. Put together by his son, the equally renowned photographer Terry Richardson, it collects what remains of the original work, much of which was destroyed over the course of Richardson’s unpredictable career.
$47 Publisher: Damiani (September 1, 2007)

Issue 179

Smock dresses everywhere. You can wear them and love them for summer.But say good bye next season. You have to pull your stomach in. Fornext winter this is what you should know: Vicki Wood in SeptemberBritish Vogue writes" there is a seismic fashion shift. We are movingaway from Holly Hobbie smocks into La Femme Nikita territory. Leather,studs, shoulder pads, bondage belts, black, quilted body armour, bikerjackets, gloves and capes. Oh and big platform pointy shoes . it’spower dressing but not the empowered glamazon from the 80’s more but asexpot with a hedge fund and a blackberry in her cleavage" Take notedear FiFi readers and make sure you don’t go overboard in the prettysmock department for summer. Save the money and spend it on shoes

ECONOMY CLASS
Witchery
New in this week are the following pieces to buy? Yes! it’s asmock dress but it’s not expensive and you will love and wear it andcinch it in with a belt next season. So check out the stone cottonsmock dress with 6 small buttons $129 with ¾ puff sleeves. Check outthe black smock dresses with short sleeve $79, and the long sleevepretty dress in soft pastel pink $139. Checkout the trench coats asreported last week. It’s most important that every FiFi readers has atrench. I will be most disappointed to meet you and find out that youhave not built your wardrobe as instructed. A trench is so right forthis climate change weather. And it’s Sexy for god’s sake, isn’t thatevery woman wants to be? Now check out the the very Miu Miu silk camiin a silver and white with a pleat bow detail on the front, it’sawfully lovely $99. There’s also a cami in choc brown but I must say Ican’t see myself buying any more camisoles. Too Boho nono. Except ofcourse if you are up for a bit of no no! Buy the silver short dresswith snazzy minazzy silver embroidery details on the hem, it’s thatvery 60’s shift shape which is loose and straight $279. Buy the greywith black stripe tank, Love a stripe! So fresh and clean and easy towear In accessories I love the grey oversized bag with a few zips about$149 and the very Mimco style little silver clutches. Buy the veryPrada peep toe heels with silver toe and blush pink trim at the back$149. The dark denim tulip skirt is a great buy it has no extraneousdetails or zip or buttons. Simple chic..Yes please!
Nine West:
Check out Marni esque heels with a crossover wide strap at thefront and a cute cone heel $359. This is the correct price but I thinkthey are the snazzy designer side of Nine West. Not as good as theUrban Soul same version who did the shoe with a silver coneheel. And I bought it. Outrageous I know. Also love the black patent orwhite patent heels with a thin crossover on the front of the foot witha sling back and a wooden stacked heel $149. They are a lovely shoe onthe foot. I tried them on and they extend the leg more than an anklestrap. We all need a leg extension. How lovely $169. The ballet flatsare great with an elastic side. Buy them in black with a patent toe orin a snazzex mix of silver gold and white. Or just go for the plainblack and white, very Chanel for about $129. Buy the light blue suedeblue platforms sandals that have thin straps and cross and tie anklestraps $139. They are also in choc brown, green and a taupe. Gorgeous.I also see the Pierre Hardy esque bag also available in Witchery and ofcourse Belinda.
Giallo:
(Shoes)I was racing past this shop when I was in Melbourne this week andscreeched to a halt when I saw the groovy roman sandals in the window..Very Kate Moss. They come in different colours.You might like the whitebrown leather. There are cute patent peep toe pumps with a smaller heelthat may be preferable since you have been struggling about in wedgesand admitted to hospital for knee reconstruction. About $169. That’sthe shoe not the knee reconstruction. Also check out the white patent Tbar lat sandals that have not one but two thin straps running up thecentre of the foot from toe to ankle. How nice to see something new anddifferent. I see blush pink ankle strap heels too for about $189
Country Road:
New in this week I see more good trouser suits for work. The trousersuit is a big story for winter so invest in one now and keep wearingit. There is a fab red long sleeve smock top that you will wear on theweekends with jeans. You will love eating a big breakfast withoutanyone knowing.$59. Also wear the white and red knit dress with thecream top and red skirt $119 and the black smock top is just a greatbasic . The grey marle scoop neck Tee dress top is a good buy $119.There are, of course, seamless tanks in every colour and they arefabulous to wear under everything. The grey and white wide stripe Tshirt tank dress is very sporty and cute $49. There are fab stone orgrey chinos we love. So easy to wear. So let’s pretend they are theBalenciaga jodpurs. $89. Also check out the long smock top $129 withpintucks and snazzy details. The new short silk parachute dress insilk with elastic sleeves, hot in dark denim or cotton $179. Of coursethe silver dress with white grosgrain straps is a winner and a sexylook. $199.Love the bomber jacket in black or cobalt blue $199. Lovethe cobalt blue it looks great with silver and so fresh with white. Oreven black. But I know that colour will haunt by the end of summer. DOI need to tell you about the accessories here? No of course not. Rereadlast week’s FiFi Report, laugh at the jokes again, ( I insist) and getin here and shop.

BUSINESS CLASS:
Scanlan and Theodore:
Wow. It’s all hot here and a divine summer collection! It’s all divine.You want it all. Start with paisley floral dress with ribbon ties inbrowns, yellow and mustard with pretty ribbons. $600. There is anamazing tan leather waist coat $850 that is not for everyone. In factit’s just for Kate Moss. But it’s as soft as butter. Which is probablythe only time you are going to get close to butter this summer.So go inand feel it. There are no calories involved. While you are having a fatfree moment caress the fabulous tan leather sleeveless dress too $1200.Then buy the beautiful cream poets blouse $300, and the chicest blackdrape simple narrow dress $680. Buy the best narrow black pants but Idon’t have to tell you that. There is a simple black drop waist dress,straight shift shape with a round neck $400 which I love. Buy thegorgeous red kimono style dress $600. With a grosgrain trim It’s veryshort; great for anyone who doesn’t care about showing a bit ofcellulite. Just throw on some opaque hoisery then please hush. Yourlegs can’t be that bad. Love the short navy boat neck dress with puffsleeves and a belt $600 and the beautiful black embroidered piped tunicwith little pockets on the front and dead, dead simple. Minimalism ismost important.$600. Buy the purple print chiffon long floral dress.Yes, that’s what I wrote. Long. In print. it will be quite divine withflats lounging by the pool with the pool boy.The cream high waist trousers are so 40’s and Lauren Bacall increpe de chine $500. Make chocolate and raspberry pancakes in those andyour drycleaner will love you. The drape back high neck silk tops anddresses are absolutely gorgeous. You must have them. Tell that to theblack Amex $700. Also in a bronze blush pink satin. Also there aregorgeous dresses with a small jewel trims. And so much more.
BloodOrange:
I love the store Blood Orange in Elizabeth Bay. They have lots of newpieces in and I adore the French label APC. It’s the new Agnes B. Youwant the divine simple knit tops. Go for the classic navy knit for$230. (Think Audrey Hepburn) and the fabulous blue/grey snakeskinwedges with a leather heel. Poor snake.$650. The perfect caramelversion sold out in 1 week! Damn. Check out the ANTIPODIUM label forthe younger FiFi readers who may want to do frill edging and girliegirl finishes. Then again maybe you don’t. The best piece left was thedenim chambray dress; A singlet style top that gathered on the necklinewith a loose flowing skirt and buttons down the front. Also here is thelabel WORLD. There is a super swing tank in orange silk $332. Is it adress or a tops? Not sure but they would be worn as a short dress,looks like a swing tank with a large frill on the bottom. It’s also inother colours like organic milk $198 which you could drink and prettypink $240 in cotton. There is also a very groovy and sexy ‘breastedwonder dress’ in baby pink with Licourice; it had breast cups in a babypink with a black skirt and black straps. $370. yes, it’s true I ammentioning the colour pink in The FiFi Report. This is not going tohappen often. You can relax. Also from WORLD were a lot of ’swingsinglets’ $266. Handy.
Amorica:
is a great store in Paddington opposite Scanlan andTheodore. In the window you will see the -DAVIS By RUTHIE DAVIS amazingly- fabulously- gorgeous- you- want- them- or- you- will- die- maroonpatent high, platform peep toes with a cream rectangular heel. MUST!MUST! MUST! haves $770, Can’t do maroon? They are getting the black innext week. The new executive FiFi fashion editor Kirsten was so excitedby them she had to google Davis: Please also check out the KENETH J LANE pendant necklaces, the CC SKYEenamel cuffs with buckles and JBRAND have done the best cut wide-legman pant called the ‘Plazzo jean’ $450 in a dark wash. But of coursethe big news here is that Amorica has the new collection of Helmut Langand it has just about sold out. I love Helmut Lang and of course thereis an Australian connection there now. ‘Nicole Garrett and her husbandMichael Colovos were named as the new designers at Helmut Lang lastyear. ‘Born in New Zealand, Nicole spent 12 years in Sydney beforeheading to New York where she worked at Harper’s Bazaar. In 2002, thepair started the successful label Habitual, which had a big celebrityfollowing. The first Helmut Lang resort collection, launched in June,was well received with the designers given a big tick for respectingtheminimalism that is the house’s heritage." Reports the SMH. HelmutLang is know for his suiting and it’s almost sold out but put on youralarm clock and get in there early next week as they are expecting there-order arrival all the pieces. What was hot? All of it is scorchingincluding a black crochet knit sweater top $620 and the Black cashmereswing tank top $295. Divine. Thankyou Nicole and Micheal.

FIRST CLASS
Collette Dinnigan:
There are some lovely evening dresses here and perfect little numbersfor a quiet drink with George Clooney. Try the pretty bronze silk satindress with the short puff Burberry sleeves ( seen everywhere) and theMiu Miu esque jewels scattered along the neckline. Lovely $995. Alsobuy the black velvet dress with a black bow and wide boat neck .It’s aclassic LBD $890 and black dress with a square neck , lace inserts andpleats $1050. I am scared of the bright green chiffon and the Puccistyle print in browns and green. Scared. But I love the divine Prussiannavy blue silk mini dress; a must buy if you have the legs. It hasfloppy cap sleeves and deep V neck $690. Also in black. I do love thered satin cross and tie high neck top about $700; very glamorous andit will look great with wide leg trousers and a gin and tonic withGregory Peck. Cheers.
Bally:
Lots of gorgeous bags and shoes here which are great prices and greatquality. A must buy are the palest cream patent (no calories hereeither) round toe pumps. About $595. Divine. The round toe pump with asquare heel is the shoe of the season - with or without a platform. Youwant a pale shoe for summer. In fact you want two as it can be hard towalk in just one. Wear with black opaques and a sleeveless dress andyou will be Prada incorporated. Then buy the black zip leather twohandle bag a la Balenciaga with outside pockets and zips, so right andnot too oversized. $1695. You will like this bag because you can swingover your new shoulder padded jacket and carry it on your shoulder. Orif you have fat arms it will fit just as well. I should know. Alsoinvest in the sweet and chic small black velvet evening bag with themust have chunky gold chain strap $895. Love the short black round toesuede booties with a wedge about $600. They are from the next wintercollection and perfect. There are gold bronze wedges with an anklestrap $595 and a divine classic, very Grace kelly black quilted bagwith brass details and hardware about $1400. Love the caramel quiltedtwo handle tote about $1400. The ballet flats in patent are justgorgeous and you can shop for hours in those and not fel a thing $495.Of course the green and burgundy patent T bar roman sandals are justdivine and will brighten up any sad black boring tragic wardrobebegging for a makeover. $595. The belt of the season is a stripe sportybelt so you must have the red and cream signature stripe belts here.Watch them adore slipping through the belt loops of your grey winterslouch pants or dark denim jeans and never leave…
Ralph Lauren:There’s not a lot of great pieces to buy here. That is sad. But pleasedon’t cry. Your mascara will run and they may throw you out of theshop. So skip over to check out the fab blazer- almost Balenciaga stylewith an insignia on the pocket .It’s in white so if you are a personwho goes out of your house it’s probably not for you. Which is annoyingbecause it is a fab shape. It has stripe ticking along the edges and itlooks short and a great fit. I suggest dyeing it black. Then you canthrow on a fake fur scarf or grab the Yasser Arafat/Balenciaga inspiredscarf from Esprit and you have the Balenciaga hot look for winter. Andyou will be hot. But at least you will be groovy. What else is here? Alot of pretty floral tea garden party dressing in faded colours. Thesoft cream camisole tops are good if you wear them with outrageoustough platform heels. You need the juxtaposition or you will lookdaggy. And we can’t have FiFi Report subscribers being that. Godforbid. I see a navy and gold trim sporty look that is all very tennisinspired sportswear designed for the US tennis open But the gold lurextrim on the track pants and tops is a little too Versace. How ironic.Perhaps you will like it if you live in Miami and don’t actually playtennis. Bless.

Spiced lamb with couscous and sambal.

Spiced lamb with couscous and sambal.
Need a quick mid week healthy dinner? Read on.
You need for 4 girls, 10 fashionistas, 20 models

2 back straps of lamb
1 teasp cumin
1 teasp coriander seeds or dry coriander
½ teasp chilli flakes
3 spring onions
1 tomato½ red onion
1 tabs designer olive oil
2 tabs lime juice
1 cucumber
Some green beans for 4
Couscous for 4

  • Find a mortar and pestle
  • Take off new Prada heels ( you can’t walk in them anyway)
  • Roll up the cuffs on your pretty new chiffon poets sleeve blouse
  • Pour a wine or two
  • Throw coriander seeds and the dry cumin in mortar and pestleSmash. Think ex husbands to get right consistency
  • Put on couscous. You can work out how to cook that. I have told you many times.
  • Pour another wine as you read back of couscous packet and try to figure out how to make it.
  • Sprinkle lamb with the coriander cumin mix
  • Let the lamb sit and have a ponder about life while you make the sambal
  • Peel cucumber and chop into small pieces It should about the same size of the available credit on your Mastercard. Tiny.
  • Repeat chopping with tomato
  • Put on Missoni sunglassesChop red onion to the same size.Wipe away mascara
  • Grab a bowl and throw the red onion, the cucumber, the snazzy designer olive oil and lime juice. Taste and Nod if happy
  • Throw the spring onions and chilli flakes through the cookedcouscous.
  • Add some fresh coriander leaves if you have some in thefridge.
  • Cook the lamb for about 3 minutes or until it’s cooked to your liking. This is a good idea since you are the one eating it.
  • Let the lamb rest and recover. You can too in a minute
  • Boil some water and quickly steam the beans
  • Serve the couscous on the chic white plates Then top with chicly sliced lamb nonchalantly luxuriating on the bed of beans
  • Drizzle over the sambal. This will add a divine melange ofcolours, crunch and texture. Think the latest Prada winter collectionand you’ll get the picture
  • Pour wine.
  • Eat.
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