Foxy Morons Kath and Kim are back.

• "We have tried it all. Makeovers, makeunders. Unless there is a day procedure to have her tragical personality sucked out, I think there is no hope." Kim on a beauty regimen which could save Sharon
• "I’ve tried every diet; the CSIRO, ASIO, RSPCA. At the moment I am on the ‘Fountainlakes Women Don’t Get Fat’ diet. Basically it says you need to sit down every time you eat which suits me.." Kim
• "Kel and I do not have pre-nap because ours was a night time wedding " Kath
• "Brett worships the ground I walk on and he also mops it, which is nice." Kim
• "Kim was a very demanding child. I thought it was because she was bright. But it turns out she was just demanding" Kath
• "I am an unnatural beauty I just get by with what I’ve got. What I’ve got is a credit card that buys me fantasy tans, Brazilians, botox, lipo and laser.." Kath
• "I give him a broad spectrum placebo." Kath on Kel’s hypochondria
• "I saw a photo of Posh and I thought it was me. Like Posh I never smile and I never read" Kim
• "Looking good is something you have to work at so when it comes to beauty I’m a workaholic" Kim
• "My favourite sexual position is the starfish" Brett
• "My favourite restaurant is Nongs at Fountaingate, my favourite Movie is Girl with a Parrot earring" Kath..

 http://www.11thhouraction.com/
it’s Leonardo Di Caprio’s Documentarry on Climate Change. Take Action ..Consume less and Live More

http://www.shopvogue.tv
It’s more consumerism and shopping from us Vogue…. ( everyone’s Dicotomy.)

• Paris Hilton is working on her next book and it may be her prison memoir. Hopefully she’ll get it out in print very soon, Lindsay might need something to read at Rehab: Reports pink.
• Lindsay Lohan is not being charged with one single felony. “I’m pretty sure Lindsay could roll up the Constitution and use it to snort a mile-long line in front of the entire Supreme Court and still not get charged with coke possession. Maybe it’s out of respect for her family’s proud heritage of drug use. Lohans have been snorting coke since they crashed their schooner into the Mayflower.” Reports the superficial
• That was quick.Nicole Richie spent just 82 minutes behind bars after she reported to serve a four-day sentence. Was it because she is pregnant? Is she pregnant or did she just eat lunch?
• Britney Spears continues to choose to destroy her career. She released her new single. ’After listening to it I was expecting Ashton Kutcher to jump out of my closet and tell me I got Punk’d’ reports the superficial
• Dina and Michael Lohan have reached an agreement on their divorce settlement.” She ruins the kids during the week and he ruins on the weekend.
• Newly pregnant Miss Foxy Brown went to court and had no idea that she was about to get her ass thrown in jail for bailing out on a few anger management classes and skipping town without approval from the court.
• Jenna Jameson has apparently decided to retire from making porn and she went to a plastic surgeon and had her breast implants removed. ‘While getting her implants removed, I think Jenna Jameson turned to her plastic surgeon and asked him to make her look like a duck. And boy did he deliver’. Reports the superficial.
• Is Marc Jacobs engaged to his boyfriend former hustler Jason Preston? Reports say “ He was ‘flashing a Cartier ring to his friends, telling everyone he was engaged
• Bridget Moynahan Had a baby Boy
• John Mayer and Cameron Diaz are becoming a serious item
• Pete Doherty also escaped drug charges yesterday. You can’t arrest Pete Doherty for cocaine because Pete Doherty is cocaine. He is a walking, talking pile of blow with a ridiculous hat and a record deal says thesuperficial.

Alek: From Sudanese Refugee to International Supermodel ….by Alek Wek
This book was an excerpt in US Vogue and it is fascinating reading and simply told. “ Since the day she was scouted by a modeling agent on London when she was just nineteen, Alek Wek’s life has been nothing short of a fantasy. A model in hip print campaigns and magazines she also works the runways of Paris, New York, and Milan. Born in the southern Sudan, Alek knew only a few years of peace with her family before they were caught up in a ruthless civil war that pitted outlaw militias and southern rebels against each other in a brutal conflict that killed nearly two million people. Here is her daring story of fleeing the war on foot and her escape to London, where her rise from young model to supermodel was all the more notable because of Alek’s non-European looks. A probe into the Sudanese conflict and an inside look into the life of a most unique supermodel, Alek is a book that will inspire as well as inform
$16 http://www.amazon.com Publisher: Amistad (August 28, 2007)

The Christmas List
Deluxe: How Luxury Lost Its Luster ….by Dana Thomas
” Newsweek reporter Thomas skillfully narrates European fashion houses’ evolution from exclusive ateliers to marketing juggernauts. Telling the story through characters like the French mogul Bernard Arnault, she details how the perfection of old-time manufacturing, still seen in Hermès handbags, has bowed to sweatshops and wild profits on mediocre merchandise. After a brisk history of luxury, Thomas shows why handbags and perfume are as susceptible to globalization and corporate greed as less rarefied industries. She follows the overarching story, parts of which are familiar, from boardrooms to street markets that unload millions in counterfeit goods, dropping irresistible details like a Japanese monk obsessed with Comme des Garçons. But she’s no killjoy. If anything, she’s fond of the aristocratic past, snarks at “behemoths that churn out perfume like Kraft makes cheese” and is too credulous of fashionistas’ towering egos. Despite her grasp of business machinations, her argument that conglomerates have stolen luxury’s soul doesn’t entirely wash. As her tales of quotidian vs. ultra luxury make clear, the rich and chic can still distinguish themselves, even when Las Vegas hosts the world’s ritziest brands. Thomas might have delved deeper into why fashion labels inspire such mania, beyond “selling dreams,” but her curiosity is contagious” .
$24 http://www.amazon.com Publisher: Penguin Press HC, The (August 16, 2007)

ECONOMY
General Pants:
Head here for great wardrobe basics (as well as very groovy pieces)such as an Agent 99 loose racer back white tank $29; a cute simple redTee that is cut well $29 and some very Miu Miu inspired silver t-barflats. Fabulous. You can shop for hours in these. That could dangerous.Maybe stick to those incredibly uncomfortable Chloe platforms. It mightbe cheaper in the long run. Also buy the white rim Le Specs aviators$40.95. if you remember them from last time they were in fashion; don’tworry you can wear them again but maybe go for the classic black. Thenreapply Erase Those Fine Lines
Zu shoes:
Love the very Balenciaga and Lanvin inspired silver platforms witha big silver cone heel. Very futuristic and very snazzy about $150 andbuy the fabulous white patent or yellow patent peep toe heels with abig wooden platform and heel $100. Groovy. I love these shoes withblack opaque tights and a little summer dress. Perfect to cover yourlegs. Good if they need a wax. Don’t be scared to do black opaques witha sleeveless dress. It was first shown at Prada seasons ago and if youare a fashionista you would have been wearing this look for months. Ifyou are a dag you haven’t. Your secret is with me. Also go here for aJimmy Choo inspired black clutch and some great chic but cheap balletflats.
Nine West:
Head here for some cool silver bags as reported last week. You wantthe small shoulder bag that is like a messenger bag that you can wearacross the body $69. Also buy the very Marni white cross strap sandalswith a cool stone canvas trim and heels about $129. They are veryflattering and the heel is not so high. Love the black patent 2 handletote bag with silver zips and outside pockets $69; a bargain. And whynot buy the chic little Miu Miu inspired silver jewelled flats about$129. The jewels are not big but more like Perspex.Also buy the blushtaupe peep toe heels as reported last week. So right for summer.Perfect with black so don’t panic. You don’t have to wear pink. Godforbid. If you are wearing pink there is a good reason to keep readingThe FiFi Report.
Portmans:
The accessories are the best here. Not so sure about the clothes.Love the silver and clear Perspex and white bangles $16. Buy 3 or 4 andpile them up. Watch them add a modern edge to every thing that lookssad in your wardrobe. Ditch the earrings. You don’tneed them this season except if they are from Erickson Beamon.Alos buy the thin or thick wooden bangles $15. They are great with allthe choc brown, black and cream in your wardrobe.
Target:
How clever the shoe department here is even if you have to holdyour nose. Love the red patent Lanvin platform heels with a pointy toe.You are allowed to wear pointy if they are platform and if they do nothave a stiletto heel $39. Also buy the Marc Jacobs inspired black patentsling backs with a white patent platform, chic at $39. An outrageousprice.Also buy the black patent heels with the perspex heel as reportedfor about $29. Also I spy a very Chloe inspired red Paddington bag$39.99, must have black leggings and some handy white tank tops $14
Esprit:
Best buys here this week are the pleather grey slouch bag. Grey isthe colour du jour for bags and this will take you through to nextwinter if you are on a budget. $89. Also check out the chinos here withtheir own little stripe belts and then chic navy cotton jacket. Theblack and silver lurex tank is a winner for summer under a black jacketfor summer $29
French Connection:
There are a lot of great pieces here . Check out the fabulous darkgreen and black silk smock dress with its own little low drawstringbelt $179. Wear this now over a black sweater and opaque tights andthen into summer with leggings and flat sandals. Love the linen verymanstyle high waisted grey slouch pants with a cuff. They look fabulouswith ballet flats. Also buy the big wide white belt $39 and the cutelittle silver clutch bag for just $49. Love the parkas here and alsothe black drape neck dress.
Wittner:
Head here for some good ballet flats in bronze, silver or black.Also buy the Marni style wooden necklace. I spy the very inspirated copyof the YSL black patent down town tote about $109 and some fabuloussilver quilted totes for about $100. There is also a snazzy choc brownquilted bag two handle bag, a bit Marc Jacobs $119.95
Cue:
Best buys this week include the khaki cotton swing jacket $265. ithas a small collar but once you put it in it has a great shape Justmake sure you wear a narrow skirt or pants under it or you will looklike the Michelin man. This can be a bad thing. Also if you have thelegs then get into the high waisted short shorts $199. And then investin the cute brown/mustard leaf print floral smock top. $125. You canbelt it in to give you a waist. Or leave the belt off and eat a biglunch. How nice.
Veronika Maine:
Best buys here include the fab crop  navy zip jacket with a white zip exposed zip $155; and then grab the fab graphic print dress in white, green and black it comes with its own little black patent belt $189. Wear with black leggings and switch the belt for a white one. Also check out the blouses here. Love the cobalt blue chiffon long sleeve top and the chic olive green chiffon top with those big puff sleeve detail we are seeing everywhere.

BUSINESS CLASS
Country Road:
Best buys this week are the gorgeous dresses. I love the smock styleone in silver and white and the new smock dress in denim with elasticcrop sleeves. There is a very snazzy silver drape dress with Pradainspired white grosgrain straps. Buy the handy drop waist, loose smockdress in black cotton with a khaki wide trim on the hem and exposedzips. Also invest in the grey cotton stone stretch chinos $99. A greatfit they will go with everything in your wardrobe and look great withheels. You can wear them now with a sweater but then head into summer.Also invest in the short cotton grey tulip skirt with its own belt$129. Take that out and try the red and white striped belt $29 for adash of colour. You can and you will. Also grab the red slouch bag $199to razz up any outfit. You want the fabulous white patent belt. That isthe same. It’s a wardrobe zapper. Instantly gives electro shock therapyto tired old pieces on their last legs from last season. You won’t feela thing. $59. Ditto applies to the white elastic belt $29. it’s sportyand it’s modern. Two words to keep repeating to your self as you shop.Buy the white linen white beaded blouse $149 for abit of of fun andthrow them over balck pants and then add the white patent sling-backflats $129, Chic. Buy the blue or black zip front bomber $199. Greatfor covering fat arms. I should know. There are the fab silver t-barsandals too. $99
Arthur Gallan:
Not a lot of new summer pieces here yet and still a few pieces on sale. But you want the divine red or black silk ruffle dress with cutaway neck $398. You do, you really do. It is fitted to waist then flares out so it’s a flattering shape covering lumps and bumps.  You also want the fabulous dark black silver crop jacket with a sporty luxe drawstring rope collar. $498.Buy the choc brown silk sleeveless dresses with tiny stud detail $398 and the divine navy silk cami with Prada grosgrain ribbon straps.$99. Wear navy and black please. I have been going on about this for the last couple of seasons.
Mimco:
Go here for some great jewellery. It’s looking much more sophisticated this season and much more chic. Invest in the black and crystal necklaces on a black ribbon. $299. Fabulous with all the silver and black that’s here for summer. Another great wardrobe zapper. Buy the black clutch bag and wear it during the day $179. if you want a black bag I like one here with big outside pockets and buttons $399. Check out the cream leather slouch bag with cream jewels, very Miu Miu $549. And don’t forge they have very good little silver glitter clutch bag to be worn across the body.
Karen Millen:
I am not made about the Karen Millen collection here but I did spy tow fabulous pieces: a grey sporty luxe anorak with two front zips $250 and a a very chic white pea coat with black buttons $685. The white is so chic and perfect for people with dogs, young children and anyone who loves slurping on spaghetti.

FIRST CLASS
There is no first class this week. Your credit card will thank me. Ifyou want the same kind of warm, fuzzy feeling in your inbox then raceinto Borders and buy the huge US September Vogue . There is SiennaMiler on the cover and 840 pages of First class fashion to drool over.You will burn many calories. It weighs a tonne.
I promise I will head to Mothership Prada next week.

Date and Banana cake from Jill Dupleix

• Preheat the oven to about 190
• Chop the dates and walnuts. Roughly. They like it like that.
• Watch the manicure
• Smash the banana with a fork. Think of ex boyfriend. In many ways.
• Keep away from wine in the fridge. It’s Sunday morning
• I said keep away from the wine
• Now here’s the tricky bit ; Mix it all up except the flour in a bowl
• Wait til it cools down
• Grab the latest US September Vogue of 840 pages
• At page 20 throw in the flour and give it a good mix
• Throw in the oven and cook for about an hour.
• Serve with lashings of butter, a cup of tea and Vogue