“ She never memorized her lines. So now, not only does she show up late, but on top of it she didn’t have her lines ready to go. It was a very long day working with Paris." A producer working with Paris Hilton. ‘To be fair to Paris, it’s tough to memorize lines when you can’t even read. Although the Olsen twins did a pretty good job on Full House and they were like, what, only twice as smart as her?”
"And right now who I am, I am so in love with. I am so happy with who I am. It’s all about the journey." Jessica Simpson is in love with herself. So in love with herself. Why? Read more ..
“ I think I’m too hard to be in love with. It ends up on the cover of every magazine. I scare people away. I’m a lot to take on." And there is only person in the relationship. Jessica.
"I’m waiting to have a bigger tush. I work on it every day. It’s little and I want it to be bigger.” Cameron Diaz is insane.
"It was the hardest boyfriend I ever had to break up with," Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas on using drugs. She has been single a long time.
"It’s the hope of every parent, famous or not, to have your child upstage you. So I love it when a little girl in the airport screams, ‘That’s Nicole’s dad!’" Lionel Richie is becoming even more self- centered (Is that possible?)
“The fashion industry is way too scary for me," Salman Rushdie.( feeling’s mutual).
"Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able." Brad Pitt knows he doesn’t have to commit for years.
"I am look forward very much to the festival, where I am intend to watch many Hollywood blockbusters films and then produce DVD copies of them for sell in Kazakhstan." Borat (a.k.a. Sacha Baron Cohen Ali G), on attending the Toronto International Film Festival.

Things to spend money on:

• A Lanvin dress.
• A Prada bag.
• More Miu Miu heels.
• A Chanel jacket.
• Therapy to deal with the above purchases.
• Lettuce to get into the above purchases.
• Botox for your husband (when he sees the black Amex bill).

Things not to spend money on:

• A little black (or white) cotton sundress. No need to spend a fortune on a cotton sundress. Save those Euros and buy a cute little 50’s style black sundress in Target with a cool broderie anglaise insert and pretty shoes string straps. It’s all you need for summer. (Except, of course, a black Amex).

Things best kept short:
Hair on your legs
Conversations to your accountant
Therapists list on your speed dial
Stints at rehab.
Number of husbands
Seat allocation in nose cone
And Boots. They have taken a short cut this summer (and for next winter.) So short you could call them a shoe. A long shoe or a short boot. They’re hot. Wear them with a mini skirt or with a pretty dress with black opaque hosiery. Head to Mollini for cute black suede crop boots $198; Jigsaw for tan suede boots $369; Gucci for black or brown patent boots $1000 or if you are lucky head to Chanel for boots with a divine little camellia $3000. You may need to keep your time in Chanel short or your shopping list will be long. Very long.

Yes, I know. You have been good all winter. Not eating. Not drinking. Not wearing pointy toe stilettos. Not missing one not frowning injection. Not spending all day in Prada. Now you can be bad. Really bad. It’s time to lash out. It’s so easy. Just grab the BADgal lash from Benefit and you’ll have the biggest, baddest lashes you never knew you had. They say “With a big, bad brush and a rich, black formula, it’s like wearing a set of false eyelashes without the glue.” I say start applying now and you’ll never look back. Just remember it’s not waterproof. (Not good when you are crying Prada.)

$36 Benefit BADgal Lash Mascara from Myer.

Head to Toronto Film Festival www.e.bell.ca/filmfest/2006/home/default.
Oh ! Go on…stay here in Bermuda 9beaches.com/
Or here in the Caribbean thesomerset.com/
Sail down the canals of France www.fcwl.com/
The obsession with baby TomKat drove a whopping 4.3 million page views onto vanityfair.com nearly three times more than the previous record for page views of nude Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson in February.
A divine Spa in Switzerland? How chic ! www.therme-vals.ch/?__locale=en
Off to Sri Lanka? Stay here Aman-i-Khás www.amanresorts.com/
In London check out the new play by Toby Young A Right Royal Farce. “He’s the shameless self-publicist whom the media world loves to loathe. But, having crashed and burned as a New York journalist Toby Young has (despite his best efforts) made a success of himself,” writes the Guardian arts.guardian.co.uk/features/story/0,,1863480,00.html or go www.tobyyoung.co.uk/
Check out the gorgeous furniture collection by Bottega Veneta www.bottegaveneta.com/Collection/?folderId=9e4e6f8d-4b71-4178-b988-164000917f12
Another cheap but chic global airline reservation website www.skylow.com/default.aspx
A must see for every design aficionado:Falling Water www.paconserve.org/index-fw1.asp
“The Weaponized Woman" came armed with Prada and La Perla, rather than guns and swords, at the opening of the "Love & War: The Weaponized Woman" exhibit at the Museum at FIT in New York. Featuring about 80 contemporary designs by every house from Alexander McQueen to Rochas, Angel Sanchez to Nanette Lepore, the exhibit explores the influences of military style on female fashion, positioning Joan of Arc as its style icon. It highlights two layers of weapons: a hard exoskeleton of armor and a soft skin of lingerie — dubbed "weapons of seduction WWD.

www.style.com/peopleparties/parties/video/090506KATE‘Can the world get enough of Kate Moss? Agent Provocateur is the latest brand to collaborate with the mega-model, and the first to put her in front of a movie camera. Shot in night vision by Oscar-nominated director Mike Figgis, The Four Dreams of Miss X stars Moss narrating the activities of a sleepy trance and wearing—you guessed it—lingerie by Agent Provocateur.’ style.com

www.olympusfashionweek.com/
Go here to see all the shows this week at New York Fashion Week.

Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are splitsville
Denise Richard and Richie Sambora are not engaged.
Elizabeth Hurley is rumoured to be planning to wear a total of 13 wedding dresses. How many husband’s does she have?
Orlando Bloom and Kate Bosworth are over.
Simon Cowell had to borrow cash from his driver/bodyguard after his Black Amex wouldn’t work while he was trying to buy some toothpaste at a Miami Beach drugstore. Toothpaste with a black Amex. No wonder the card didn’t work.
Carmen Electra should look into buying a mirror. Too many bad hair days
Jack Nicholson is reportedly being treated in a Los Angeles hospital for a mystery illness. Old age?
It has finally happened … Britney Spears has once again given birth to another boy.
Anna Nicole Smith’s 20-year-old son Daniel died in the Bahamas 3 days after she had a baby. .
Colin Farrell was pulled over by the police. “No idea why but it was because he looks like a badger. Although he wasn’t dragged away in cuffs like Paris Hilton because apparently his STD’s aren’t quite as large a threat to society as Paris Hilton’s.” thesuperficial.
“ Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz were spotted together suggesting they might be getting back together. Although the past few days have been such a blur of Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan that I can’t really remember what’s going on with anybody else. Did they break up? Were they together? Did they escape a group of ninjas by skiing down a mountain? The answer is yes, my friends.” Thesuperficial
British police announced today they’ve recovered Lindsay Lohan’s missing Hermes bag although they’ve yet to determine whether or not anything was taken. It’s looking more and more like Lindsay just misplaced her bag and nobody took it at all. Or Maybe it was one of the Olsen twins.

Allure: Confessions of a Beauty Editor…. by Linda Wells Editor Allure
After 15 years as Allure’s editor-in-chief, Linda Wells has learned a thing or two about beauty–things that other people might not tell you. From how to keep lip gloss on longer than six minutes, to the best fix for frizzy hair, to how to use the latest anti-aging products, ALLURE: CONFESSIONS OF A BEAUTY EDITOR has all the answers.Writing with the humor and honesty for which Allure is known, Linda and her editors share every dirty secret, explode many common beauty myths, and give readers the honest truth about how to look their best.
$16 www.amazon.com/ Publisher: Bulfinch (October 2, 2006)

The Christmas List
Grace Coddington & Didier Malige: The Catwalk Cats (Hardcover)
by Michael Roberts, Grace Coddington, Sally Singer, Didier Malige.
For more than 20 years, Grace Coddington the Creative director of American Vogue and hair stylist Didier Malige have lived together with a menagerie of incorrigible cats. This delightful, giftworthy book records their relationship through photographs (Malige’s) and drawings (Coddington’s) that document the couple’s highly entertaining private and work lives through the eyes of their feline friends. These include Henri, an old-school, catnip-addicted, surfing chartreuse; his sister Coco, a couture-obsessed chartreuse on a sashimi diet; and her pal Baby, who doesn’t quite share Coco’s discipline, and will, sadly, never fit into a sample size. Then there’s Puff, a mixed-up long-hair from Harlem whose curiosity and finally Bart, the Persian youngster who would rather sit on the rooftop terrace than in the front row. The Catwalk Cats, a visual diary introduced by the irrepressible Puff, gives us a window into four madcap seasons in the life of this fabulous furry brigade, with sec tions devoted to the Collections, the Campaigns, and, of course, the Catfights. $21 www.amazon.com/ Publisher: Edition 7L (October 15, 2006)

Economy Class:
Target: I spy a very cute Petit Bateau style stripe here: white with black stripes with a scoopneck for you at $17. And of course lots of summer dresses.
MNG: Lots of new pieces in this weeL Best pieces include the cheap but chic bags a al Marc Jacobs and Balenciaga. I spy a cream cotton canvas that looks very Balenciaga with outside pockets and long straps also in choc canvas about $60 and a pleather Marc Jacobs style Venetia bag for about $50. There are some cute scarves here too. I love the black and white spot sleevelss cutaway blouse with a pussy bow neckline ..very YSL $89. Chic. Also check out the trackie pants and hoodies here, they have a great cut and there is 20% off those too.. There are some classic stone satine chinos $119 and city shorts $49; a chic stone cotton blazer $119 and lots of puffa jackets $99, because it’s their winter collection. Check out the cotton knit rib cardigans in white or choc $69 and the cream chunky knit bolero style cardigans $69 and the cute grey singlets $49. The black and white tweed princess coat is here for about $389. Buy the shirt that it seems everyone has done: a collarle ss muslin blouse with a thin wrap and tie self belt. Very Hippy but you may wear that for one more season. Because it’s summer. Checkout the fab black and cream chiffon print sleeveless tank $120; the fab stone crinkle trench $299; and the red ruffle front chiffon blouse with short sleeves $119. There are racer back tanks in every colour for about $29.
Cue: Always new pieces here…the fabulous black chiffon dress seen on the FiFi TVC at Whatswhat.com.au has arrived in store. Be quick it’s selling like hot cakes. Buy the cute soft pink empire fitted top $165 with pretty pleating and bow front; the wide pants in black $189; the gold lurex polo top $129 and the spot cream short sleeve shirts are very 50’s lady like $119. it’s cute in red and cream . There are some great bags here too. Check out the black and white very Balenciaga style 50’s style crop jacket with a round collar $285; the blush pink very Marni style chiffon blouse with a self belt $169 with a round neck and the fab stone trench $259.
French Connection: I do love the dark blue crop DB trench jacket $178; the navy and cream knit V neck sweater is chic $79; the white muslin wrap and tie top everyone has done is here for $129. Buy the taupe stone crop blazer jacket, classic but so handy for summer over everything $119. Also check out the stone cuffed shorts $59; the crinkle chinos $89 and the fan blue and white stripe ticking wide pleat skirt $89.
Portmans: There are some great bargains here. Buy the short crop trench now reduced to about $59 ; it’s double breasted and hits just at the hips.It comes in a black, navy, teal and stone. Also check out the cute stone blazer, the stripe ticking blazer $59 and the simple Tanks.
Esprit: check out the black cotton shirtwaister ddress $129; the cute hippie blouse caftan top $69 and the crop turnout jeans $89. Cool

Business Class:
Midas: check out the red patent peep toe $228; the fab simple black platform sling backs with a peeptoe $198 and the Prada style black pointy heels with a platform. $228.There are chic wide belts here in black or choc with a leather covered buckle , a great buy $85 and so are the bags. Also check out the simple black heels with a peep toe and a big chunky heel $228.
Veronika Maine: Best pieces are the dresses: go for the empire sleeveless dress with a belt and two tone bodice in dark denim cotton $269; or the plain black version ; the drape front chiffon sleeveless dress is great in black or a rust brown $299 and so is the matching cami. Check out the poets blouse everyone has done in light beige muslin $189; the short crop navy DB trapeze jacket seen in all the magazines $249 and the stone fitted trench SB jacket, very simple $239. There is a chic grey muslin short sleeve shirt , with patch pockets and wood buttons, cool $149 and lots of chic knits and other blouses. The grey crop trench is great $259. Check out the big tan oversized slouch bags $149 and the cream little ‘hole’ knit cream empire camisole $49;
Armani Exchange: Check out the white crochet scoop neck T $139; the fab black chiffon scoop neck top with sheer short sleeves $139; the black simple tanks $139 and the stone bomber jacket about $189.
Country Road: Best pieces here are the red strap wedges with a wooden heel also in tan $190; the flat T bar sandals – how many times do I have to tell you?-and the cute tall tan leather tote with 2 straps about $200. Check out the cute little wedge espadrilles and the fab gold roman sandals as reported last week. There are fab cap sleeve drape T with a double layer front $99 in different colours and the cream round embroidered spot empire top is cool $119 and it has short sleeves for those who don’t want to show the top of your arms. Bless . Check out the crinkle camisoles with a lace trim in lots of colours $39; the cream lace trim short sleeve shirt is gorgeous $149 and so is the satin wide pleat tulip skirt in dark blue grey $129. There are other colours in this skirt too. Buy the cute knot camisoles $49 in lots of colours .
Zimmerman: the spring collection is arriving in store. Check out the divine black circle top and black strapless dress; very evening $555 : the paperbag waist taffeta skirt with a self belt the ingénue skirt $555; the chic tulip pencil skirt and the wide stripe camel and black sweater $300 and the fab puff sleeve jacket with a fitted waist is very flattering. $590. The dark denim pinafore dress is very cute

First Class
Belinda in William St: I spy new shoes: check out the divine Proenza Schouler tan open toe with a chunky heel and white trim and cute little buckles $795; the Costume National tan flat sandals $445; the Sigerson Morrison round toe tan flats with 2 little buckles on the front – gorgeous $545; the Costume National wedge tan sandals $720; very simple Marc Jacobs blush round toe ballet flats with 2 elastic straps $495 and I see cute little silver metallic flats the $395. There are gorgeous Sigerson Morrison T bar sandals with bronze studs on the front also in black $645; divine cream Miu Miu roman sandals with brass stud detail and amazing big jewels along the flat heel $695; and Marc Jacobs blue hessian wedges with an ankle strap $695. Buy the Marc Jacobs pale blue peep toe heels with studs $525 and the Sigerson Morrison choc brown square toe heels with chunky heel sandals $645 and the fabulous Miu Miu silver sparkle sling backs with a small square heels and big jewel diamante detail about $945 , also in other black and white version. Also check out the cute brown bags by Mania and the great priced Abro bags for about $600. Also look at the Jac and Jac knit collection and the dresses for about $200. Cool.
Chanel: I went in search of the fab big oversized black patent bag with a chain handle but it’s not yet arrived in store. Of course the Luxury bags are here and all divine. Also check out the amazing sunglasses. Then please buy everything else such as the cute ballet flats about $630; the classic black heels about $700; the gorgeous black chiffon dress with a drop waist and pearl details on the neckline $$$ ; the black and white check jacket $$$ and the fab short sleeve tweed jacket about $4000. There is a gorgeous tweed black suit $$$; an incredible dress with a crossover back and chiffon inserts $$ and the pink satin one shoulder drape dress to die for…..Yes please.
Evelyn Miles: Love the Miu Miu round toe tan platform boots $1098; the choc brown zip bag with a shoulder strap $1300; the Miu Miu black velvet square bag also in brown $1700 and of course the Jimmy Choo navy big bag $2700. In the shoes check out the Evelyn Miles own label faux snakeskin double strap crossover sandals in brown and cream or black $598; the round toe patent black flats with a T bar up the front , gorgeous $428; the diamante silver flats $458 and the sling back flats in tan or white with a square leather buckle hole ( to hard to describe!) $398. There are Evelyn Miles black plaited T bar flat sandals with a brown sole $398 and a few others similar in gold. Buy the amazing Miu Miu chunky platforms sling backs with gold studs $798 and all the Miu Miu wedges with tan straps and gold detail. Also buy the gorgoeus blue velvet Miu Miu heels with huge jewel front $1000. Ish. Divine. That should do you for another week or 2.

Beetroot Risotto.
FiFi Fashion rule #1: Never wear pink. Just eat it. How terribly chic to serve bright pink for dinner. Fabulous. (it tastes great too. )

For 4 models or 2 hungry men
You need:
Risotto ingredients (look up your favourite recipe)
A can of beetroot or about 4 roasted beetroots
A dollop of horseradish or sour cream
A sprinkling of chives or basil
Parmesan
Serve with pan fried fish or chicken relaxing on the top.

·Preheat oven.
·Roast the beetroot with garlic or if you are using a can of beetroot then open it.
·Watch the juice on the white Marni dress.
·Change out of white dress into black trackie
·Pour a wine.
·Whiz up and blitz the beetroot into mush. Juices and all
·Put on comfortable Marc Jacobs flats while you stir the risotto.
·Make risotto as you would normally. More wine for you.
·When the risotto is just about cooked throw in the whizzed up beetroot.
·WOW! Check out that colour. Repeat Diana Vreeland’s famous words ‘Pink is the navy blue of India.’
·Add lots of salt , pepper and parmesan. It needs it
·Pan fry some chicken or fish. Lightly
·Serve the hot pink risotto with a highlight of white: horseradish cream dolloped on top, accessorise iwith green chives.
·Arrange a simple piece of chicken to relax on top.
·Serve with a green salad.
How chic.

Kenny…directed by Clayton Jacobson
Genre: Australian mockumentary comedy
Who: Shane Jacobson ( the director’s brother), Eve von Bibra, Ronald Jacobson, Jesse Jacobson.
The Plot: Good Aussie bloke Kenny with a lisp works as a Port-a-loo plumber. He loves his job. Does the right thing by everyone. Has a hilarious sense of humour and heart of gold. Bless. Ex Wife hates him. Father is a big grump. People are mean to him. He loves his job. He goes to Nashville for International Portable Toilet convention. Never been on a plane before. Funny. The plot thickens. Shit happens. He meets a girl. The end.
Acting: A mockumentary style acting; it’s all too real.
Photography: documentary style hand held very much like ‘The Office’.
Set design: They couldn’t possibly have had a production designer; it looks too real. “It was shot at a variety of locations – car rallies, rave parties, army shows and the Melbourne Cup – over two years and those locations lend such a veracity to the film. It was totally funded by the owner of Splashdown, Glenn Preusker, who also gave access to those events” Atthemovies.
Wardrobe: Shorts, singlet, long socks and boots. I see overalls stretched over a big beer belly. They say he is a knight in white shiny overalls. I say don’t do this at home.
Salon de Beaute: This is a man who has never used a product in his life.
Botox: You need it for the laugh lines and the hard times.
Waterproof mascara: 3 applications of Aqualash are de rigueur
Smokin’ Smooches: nil.
Car chases: I see a racetrack. I see trucks. That’s enough.
Blood’n’guts: No, but there is a lot of talk about poo. Relax; you never see it.
Rename it: Crocodile Dundee at The Office
Best Review: “Not since Darryl Kerrigan has there been an Aussie battler as loveable as Kenny Smyth. "Kenny" is the funniest local comedy since "The Castle"; a laugh-out-loud look at a struggling hero who refuses to let his career or his bickering relatives get him down.” Yourmovies.com.au
Best Worst Review: “ I think it’s egregiously overlong. I thought after about half an hour that was about all I wanted to know about Kenny. And I think it would have played really well as a medium-length film. But pushed out to feature length, I’m afraid I lost interest” . David Stratten.
MARGARET: Tough, actually. You miss out on a lot.
See it or donate to the Prada Bag fund? See this movie. Like a classic Prada bag: it may look simple on the outside but it’s quite deep if you delve a bit further. And you walk away feeling great.
www.kennythemovie.com/