“Whenever your brother is on trial for molesting children, it’s a great idea to keep the family in the news by secretly planning to have Justin Timberlake rip off your clothes for the Superbowl’s 80+ million viewers.” Gawker
“I am sorry that anyone was offended by the wardrobe malfunction during the halftime performance of the Super Bowl,” Timberlake on boobgate.
“I mean, did she just happen to be wearing that big metal thing on her nipple? Don’t get me wrong: I put mine on every morning before I go to work, but I thought that was just me.” Amy’s Robot.com
“Even the camera operators couldn’t be bothered to hold onto Janet Jackson flaunting her old udders. And Terrorists didn’t strike at this year’s Super Bowl, though terror did strike viewers as a wardrobe malfunction with many calling for an independent investigation into pre-Bowl intelligence declarations that Janet Jackson’s wardrobe was “safe, secure and no threat to the television viewing audience.” Sgt Stryker.com
“Hey, you should have won a Globe for your porno.” sacked security guard to Paris Hilton from NYDN
“I am not going out with Kristin and never have done. I can’t believe that she would talk about our relationship when there isn’t one. I haven’t seen her since September not the best grounds for a relationship.” oops Damien Lewis on Kirsten Davis and their relationship ( read your SATC script better next time!)
“These days BIG won’t marry you” Candace Bushnell on marrying a man 10 years younger.
“One of his first words was ’shoe’,”Sarah Jessica Parker on her metrosexual son
“I’m petrified of reincarnation because I like being me” Chris Martin. (Rich, famous, successful and a rock star and being married to Gywnie isn’t everything Chris).
“When you are gay and nouveau riche a little pedigree dog goes along way as a carrying card” Simon Doonan on Palm Beach.
“Half an hour sounds like more than enough then we could get some shopping in” US Elle on long orgasms ( we love shopping!)
“Having your mind in touch with your heart in touch with your physicality in touch with your energy, then things will happen that you don’t have to think about’” Ashton Kuchner on why he doesn’t think too much.
“It was Olivier this and Olivier that - and I’m, like: ‘Hello, I’m here too.’” Kylie on her parents only having eyes for Olivier! Hello?

So you thought you looked fabulous in the candle light and the dinner party on the terrazzo was un grand success but there’s just one problem: the spots you see in front of your eyes first thing the next morning. No! not from the hangover but the ones all over your legs mmm mossie bites! Best thing to do is nick into Mrs Red & Sons and get their fantastic mossie coil tins made from recycled third world household tins from oil to nappies to detergent. So funny and quaint you want to buy them just to read the peculiar English on the tins! Under $5! Mrs Red & Sons 9310 4860

Let’s face it we all know beauty is all about one thing: Lighting! Of course sometimes I think I look better in the dark but failing that on a hot summers night it’s all about soft lighting with soft candlelight. so how happy was I when I found a fabulous stainless steel oil lantern. Too chic, it’s cone shaped, stainless steel and designed so the pointy end can be pushed into sand on your beach or when you’re in Gstaad pop it in the snow around the chalet! Otherwise back in your batcave it can sit in a cradle which can be screwed into the wall. Simple.
$95 Garden Life 9332 1199

While we’re on the theme of looking fabulous all summer and the spots appearing in front of your eyes let me fill you in on how to treat those ones on your face that are not mossie bites but what we like to call in the business: a blemish. Try the fabulous Thursday Plantation Tea Tree blemish stick. It’s a wand with a sponge tip applicator, it’s small, it’s cheap and it works. A mix of tea tree oil, vitamin E, spearmint oil and lots of other ingredients in really small writing that I can’t be bothered understanding or reading! An invisible treatment stick for skin blemishes, just dab it on the acne sorry blemish, pop on your YSL cover up stick and pray they’ll use photo shop. You’ll never look back! $5.95 at chemists.

http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html
Yes I know it’s a very long address but you will thank me! When you’re having a bad hair day, can’t find anything to wear and just can’t take it anymore go to this website and all your troubles will pale into significance when you have a new perspective of the universe. They show a new picture of the day from Space and they are amazing. Today there is picture of a very beautiful red star burst from 25 million years ago! (Mmm I don’t feel so old!). So if you feel like having a futuristic moment (and I’m not talking Barabella) down load a picture of space on your laptop and things will look a lot simpler.

http://www.allrecipes.com
Sometimes in life even Stephanie Alexander can let you down. I know. Devastating but what do you do when you can’t find a recipe anywhere and you are desperate to cook it? Well I used to just google anything and it does work but this great website is even better (though American) because it has the calories of each recipe ! Now you’re talking! Yes all nutritional info like carbos, fat and yummy things like that are on every recipe and there’s also a search engine you can just whack in what you feel like eating and bingo. You’ve got it! There is even A readers ratings… yes it’s the amazon of recipes.

The paparazzi photos of Gwyneth and Chris coming out of the doctors after finding out they were pregnant were staged by her brother ( she’s not just a pretty face).
Christie Brinkly is turning 50 this month (shit!).
The model Karmen Kass has gone to Hollywood to be an MTA (model turned actress).
Frances Agnelli widow of Giovanni JR is to marry hair guru John Frieda.
The long-term boyfriend of model Karolina Kurkova, Alessandro Bazzoni is not happy over reports that she’s been kissing Pharrell Williams.
Selma Blair got married to her rock star boyfriend, Ahemt Zappa.
Jemina Khan celebrated her 30th Birthday at Annabelles (the club named after her mother) with Hugh Grant ,Tom Ford, Elle Macpherson and Valentino and Imran? Nowhere to be seen…(I smell a rat!)
When Spencer Tracey was sleeping with Nancy Reagan, Katharine Hepburn was getting down with Judy Garland.” NYDNews ( that’s old news sorry!)
Adrien Brody and Keira Knightly are making a movie together and have fallen in lurve.
Donald Trump is in negotiations with Paris Hilton to host the Miss USA Pageant. (‘they’re trying to make me sympathize with Al Qaeda!” from Gawker)
Helen Hunt is pregnant to her boyfriend with her first baby (glad to hear it’s a baby).
Gwynie wants to name her baby Bruce. (yep she’ll be right mate) and have her baby in the US after Madonna told her horror stories about the hospitals in the UK!
Penelope Cruz is to open her own fashion boutique in Spain.
Writer Jay McInerney has postponed his fourth wedding.
Kylie Minogue says she’ll never do an autobiography, because she can’t remember everything that’s happened “ (we know)
John Kerry the democratic hopeful apparently has a face full of botox (it’s Ok George W got it in the brain)

Swimming to Antarctica Tales of a Long Distance Swimmer by Lynne Cox
Published in January all the O.S magazines have been giving this rave reviews.
Lynne Cox “the world’s most extraordinary distance swimmer writes about the almost mystical act of swimming itself.A detailed account of her major swims it is about how she overcomes extreme physical hardship, predatory sharks, and a swim through a sewage-soaked Nile while suffering from dysentery. She tells how she conceived,planned, and trained for each, and re-creates the experience of swimming (almost) unswimmable bodies of water, including her most recent astonishing one-mile swim to Antarctica in thirty-two-degree water without a wet suit. For thrills and inspiration, it’s hard to find anyone better than Lynne Cox” Review from Amazon.
Sounds an inspiring read and when I’ve read it you shall have the inside scoop (and I need some help on Marathons let me tell you.)

Christmas List:
David Bailey Locations: Photographs 1970 to 1979
David Bailey was and still is one of the most acclaimed photographers in the world though he is best known for his work in the 60’s and 70’s. This fantastic book is of all his best fashion shoots from the 70’s! What more inspiration do you need? You’’ll love the shots of Salvador Dali, Mick Jagger, Mother Theresa & Margaret Thatcher as well as all the amazing fashion shoots. Plus some intriguing stills taken from his television documentaries on Andy Warhol, Cecil Beaton and Luchino Visconti. $125 from Published Art

Economy:
Jurlique have opened up in Oxford St Paddington
Playtypus shoes have Converse trainers in every kind of colour: floral, 60’s, cartoon, paint splattered, brown, white lined in orange high tops, you name it around $89
David Jones Shoe dept: have a Milana copy of marc jacobs flats in pink or cream $138, some great Milana green suede knee high boots $425 with a strap around the leg and for a classic black work stilletos (not too high) try the Milana black heels with stiching across the front $219. Urban Soul have done some cool low heel sling backs $139, and Jane Debster has copied the Prada pointy toe suede loafers with white stitching in choc,caramel green and black with a silver buckle across the front $139! Bargain!!
Sportsgirl: have gone a bit too cheap mod and there’s not a lot to find: Best pieces are chiffon leaf print 80’s loose tops $79, tweed pencil skirt in lots of colours which would look cool with floral tops a la Prada $79, a black Marc Jacobs style black Jaqui kennedy coat $199.
Sportscraft have done their sell out trench coat from last season in a fab red $299 and also have a great black car coat trench in black or cream $249 and Portmans have a great black satin shirt belted trench for $69?? ( seems to cheap?).
Witchery: have done a chic shirt-waister dress with long sleeves in caramel or black $139, a groovex black leather and knit Balenciaga style jacket $399, pinstripe single breasted fitted jacket $239 and trousers $129, and there’s a cream or black Akira style asymmetrical drape knit top $99.Keep away from all that hot pink! Crickey!
Esprit: have done a mini tartan skirt in lots of different colours $79 and a knit fringe poncho in black or red $79, and a cute tight denim bomber jacket $129 and a cream car coat $159 and a black asymmetrical wool skirt with fake zips on the front $89 and a really cool Bottega Veneta copy woven slouch bag in pleather? $49! in white, black and green.
Business:
What a life! I’ve spent hot days in the cool of David Jones discovering all their winter stock just being unpacked!
David Jones: Check out Hugo by Hugo Boss chic tweed trousers suit $1995, the HUGO brown peacoat with $1495, HUGO panelled poloneck knit $489, gorgeous Paul Smith pinstripe trousers suit $2495, a funky Paul Smith brown and pink leaf top with groovy puff sleeves $869, and also a skirt in the same print $995 and a silk leaf print very 30’s style cocktail dress $2295.Moschino Cheap and Chic have a black beaded dress $1795, a hot pink skirt $929 and shirt $849 ( in light blue too).If you want animal print there’s a Moschino Cheap and Chic shirt $429 and a fab Prada style animal print coat $1795
Burberry is in now too with a gorgeous cute mini kilt in lots of different colour ways $949 from classic tartan to plain black ( and they’re selling out!) The must have Burberry trench with a slim fit and epaulettes $2494, a groovy fitted black jacket with epaulettes and nylon pockets $1795, divine black knee length double button down the front skirt $849.
Also check out the gorgeous pink Akira dress asymmetrical long dress $1019.
Marc by Marc Jacobs has just arrived in David Jones: it is very expensive for a cheap second label which seems to contradict its vintage look but there are some cool pieces like the Black mod dress with white panels and stitching $749, heart print satin cami $499, pink poloneck rib sweater $379 and a cute orange silk with bows $1045!! (that’s a Gucci bag!) Too much army canvas stuff you don’t want to go near ( sooo last season. sorry) but there is a cream handknit multi stripe sweater $599, and great T shirts with ‘Ce Soir’ across the front… Yes me likie! $199.
Dolce & Gabbana diffusion line called ‘&’ has some great quality work pieces: a fab grey or black knit sweater $239, a classic trouser suit $849, zip ski top with grey stripe along the arm $499, and cute knit cami $189
Armani Jeans is also worth checking out: it’s good quality at good prices like a polo neck red knit $279, a cream chunky knit sweater $279. Get in there and start thinking about winter or at least to escape the heat!
David Jones shoe dept: Have the label L’Autre Chose with some fab 3/4 length black or pink boots $750 or high black ones $750 and groovy stilettos loafers $350, Marc Jacobs shoes ooh la la! Check out the red suede round toe boots with lacing up the side $1200 and 70’s round toe stack heel green suede with buckle $999.There is a black satin cream ribbon flat $550, red mini mouse heels $599, patent leather loafers in pink, green or black $599.There is some new Ralph Lauren, Walter Steiger and Jill Sander shoes which are Ok but not so exciting. Same with the Sergio Rossi: not as exciting as last year but worth a look from around $899.
So check out the black Jimmy Choo kitten heels $999.Emma Hope has done some fab black leather boots with a white stripe up the side $1200 and the Patrick Cox collection includes Tods style driving shoes $450 in white, blue and some cool hessian Khaki mules $399.
Also check out the shoe sale still on with shoes in every size: I spied some fab Rossi’s for $550 from $700
Paul and Joe: Their winter stock will begin to arrive in 2 weeks and the sale is still on and it’s all ½ price and there are some great buys: The pretty floral slip petticoat dresses are so next season and you want them in blue, yellow, pink or green now $200, and the matching cami $160.There’s a cute grey zip sporty top $160 and some blue Cult cream cords $170 and don’t forget the Petit Bateau T shirts not on sale but always faaaabulous!
First:
Back to David Jones and I head to Heaven on Seven! It’s worth going to the top floor to check out the most fabulous Alberta Ferretti dresses. Too Too Divine! Drool over the divine Chiffon beaded burgundy dress $3995, a rose pink chiffon dress $3995, a rose pleat rose top $2295, a black beaded chiffon embroidered top $7995! Black suede embroidered coat you can buy when you sell some Sydney real estate at $3995.
Jil Sander is gorgeous. Check out this winters divine black Duffle coat $3995,a classic simple wool shift dress $1795, a cool raw edge blazer $2495, a gorgeous polo neck sheer knit sweater in black or red $1295.
And there are still some things on sale and some bargains: Jil Sander dark navy knit top $350, cream knit cashmere sweater with tie front now $645.Get in there now!
Loewe is so beautiful..You will die wanting the leather biker jacket $6450! Buy one in each colour! Or the brown leather jacket $5995.
Calvin Klein:There is a pretty green velvet print skirt $1795, a teal sweater $995 and a belted leather trench $6995 and a double cuff top black cashmere knit $995.
Also some Ralph Lauren blue label collection is there as well as Sonia Rykiel but you want the Calvin Klein.
Parlour X: Has a sale on with !0% to 50 % off selected items. The best buys are the groovy Alkira embroidered button singlets now $240, a House of Jazz black top $155, Cacherel floral tops now $221 and a Roland Mouret orange chiffon top now $400.There is also some funky gold lurex Yesim Chambray tops $290.There’ll be a 50% off rack this weekend and some Vivienne Westwood will be reduced too.

Bocconcini, mint, peach and prosciutto salad

Yes it’s the time of year when you can rejoice in all the fabulous ripe and juicy fruits and pretend you are a really healthy eater. This little recipe is a vintage (well it’s a 4 seasons old!) one from Jaimie Oliver. Simple and absolutely delicious and pukka ! Blimey it’s so bloody easy you can do this blind.
Start drinking some bevvies …

·Bocconcini (or Buffalo mozzarella)
·Mixed leaf salad
·Ripe juicy lucy peaches cut into small pieces (skin on or off? who cares?)
·Mint leaves
·A few slices of prosciutto per person
·Vinagrette a lemon one is perfect

·Jaimie says it’s better to rip the bocconcini instead of slice and you now what? What Jaimie says goes! Ripping it makes it look just so much more alfresco and rustic than careful slices and we love getting our fingers in it.
·Toss the bocconcini over the salad leaves, throw on the prosciutto and cut up the peaches and put them gently on the salad (no tossing of peaches)
·Sprinkle on some mint
·Drizzle with a lemony vinagrette
·Get the bloomin geezer to cook the grilled chop, chook or chargrilled fish
·Serve ‘toot sweet’
Bleedin’ lovely Thanks Jaimie

In America
Why do some movies take you to places you’ve never been (Like Pretty Woman !) and some never get you out of the first class lounge. This movie tried to take off but I never really left town my passport limp in my hands. It has everything going for it: Written by the film maker Jim Sheriden (My left foot) it stars Samantha Morten, un known Irish actor as her husband and 2 gorgeous real life sisters who play their real life daughters. It’s about their life as Irish illegal aliens who try to find a new life in America after the death of their son. Trouble is this movie can’t decide if it is arty or schmaltzy and so you can never get a grip. Tooo groovy for its own good (Know the feeling?) OK, so I did have tear or ten running down my cheeks a few times (but that was when I started thinking about my credit card limit!) No, really it is worth seeing: great lighting, beautifully shot, fantastic music and it’s quite magical in some parts. The 2 little girls steal the show, they are absolutely charming (although they come up with too many wise insights that children never do).
But at the end I was still in Sydney not In America.

US Harpers Bazzaar Feb: Renee Zellweger is on the cover with a blonde wig…no wonder everyone is leaving this magazine! I think I still buy it hoping Liz Tilbiris will suddenly come back! But there is though some cool fashion and a great story on famous style setters wardrobes including Loulou de la Falaise and Carla Sozzani.
Tatler Feb: What a great read! A great story on Lord Harewoods life, Heidi Klum again ( enough) and an interview with Alexander McQueen.
US Elle Feb: Has an interview with Poppy King now the colour designer for Presciptives and a shoot with Candace Bushnell and her husband and an article on how to be a lady ( start reading!)
US Elle décor Feb: This is a fantastic issue with lots of great houses. Check out Ahn Duongs studio, Bobbie Browns place ( not so nice) and Muriel Brandolini’s amazing interiors for a Thomas Phifer glass house.

You are getting funnier by the minute. I bet Tom Ford doesn’t know you are trailing him………!!”
You’re back better than ever FiFi. We probably could all use a few weeks in an institution. LOVE your work.
re. borders mags - do they have titles like British Elle Decor at 50% too? Where is Borders? am too lazy to look it up. (It is in Skygarden just down the arcade next to Hermes but they only have American titles that are cheap 9235 2433)
How about some fashion scouting for fatty boom sticks like me unfortunately at the moment size 14?( great idea!)
LOVE LOVE the report! Makes me laugh when I am stuck at my desk !
The FiFi Report and your movies reviews are great for people like me who never get to the movies ( sans babysitter or avec les enfants) or the shops but would like to pretend we do.
Thankyou.I am now at an expert if anyone asks me where to find a new shoe or which beauty products they must have….it really is a style guide!