“The other one’s like The Blair Witch Project,” Rick Soloman on his grainy, green, night-vision clip Paris Hilton sex video compared to the new full-length, in-color version (both scary).
“I have no idea what’s going on in the world. I heard something about a naked Janet Jackson.” Proenza Schouler (War? Famine? No.Boobgate)
“I’m so excited about this. I have the opportunity to bring to the world some of the pieces that I wear in my own private life.” Janet Jackson on her new line of jewelry! (Oh my god!)
“She’s come up with a few possible names for her label. She likes the word ‘exposed’, so she’s working on variations, including ‘decent exposure’ Her marketing dept! (Try overexposed)
“I’ll try and sleep it off. If that doesn’t work then I’ll just stay as I am,” Renee on being fat (Tried it, doesn’t work).
‘I love Pink! I love lesbians! Prince Albert loves lesbians! Prince Albert is a lesbian!’ Pink’s pissed assistant to Prince Albert
“I wasn’t ready for the way P. Diddy loves to have fun. At 2am, I headed to bed. I just couldn’t hang.” Kim Cattrall on being 48
“Kim is a fly woman with amazing talent,” he told Newsweek. “I don’t want to stop seeing her onscreen just because of a number.” P.Diddy on why he dates fly and stick insects models
“Marriages, I can tell you, don’t just suddenly collapse. They’re slowly poisoned,” Jude Law
“I’m not some stupid old man who fell for someone who looks good. That’s rubbish.” Paul McCartney on his wife and stupidly dying his hair.
“I look at those girls and realize all it takes to model clothes is attitude and an IQ to match your waist size.” Joan Rivers on why she is so skinny
“I think sex as a trend is definitely over, but that’s different from a major cultural response,” Ingrid Sischy on why she’s gay and Tom’s leaving Gucci.
“Faghags have become the new fags. It seems that Sex and the City and Queer Eyes’s crusade to make women into gay men and gay men into comic relief has succeeded admirably” Gawker
“I just stood there and started to cry, But nobody came to help me.” Suzy Menkes uber fashion journo who was punched in the ribs at a fashion show (what was she wearing?).

The things you find when you nick into David Jones to use the amenities. Racing up the escalators to the 3rd floor to do a quick extreme makeover what did I find but THE must have of the season. No. Not the Fab 5 but the grooviest trench by some unknown (shock horror!) label, Urban Tailor. In a matte nylon, belted, double-breasted and cut very narrow almost seventies style with epaulettes and even lined, it’s in a fabulous red, black or khaki for an amazing $99. Cheap but tres chic.

With all the crazy cooking and eating you’re doing this time of year, it’s time to lash out and buy the must have item du jour in your Kitchen: the snazzy wooden chopping board from the Nigella Lawson’s cook wares range. Yes I know. Nigella. You either like her or hate her but anyone who advocates cooking deep fried mars bars must be OK! And let’s face it she has a lot taste (in her mouth and in her style). This chopping board is ever so clever because it has a metal tray that is detachable along the bottom which means you can do your chopping then collect the chopped (mars bars) in the tray and toss them straight in the oil and butter! Perfect! $59 at Bayswiss Designers Guild and lots of other shops too.

Here’s a scoop de la scoop: Jean Paul Gaultier has launched a line of cosmetics for men called Tout Beau Tout Propre (all handsome and clean: like all Australian metrosexuals) and it’s now available in Myer. Wait. Why would guys buy makeup? Exactly. They don’t. But all the groovy girls do! Clever marketing I say. The best buy is the Lip balm $27 which is a really Tawny natural colour and the pen concealer which has a Kohl pencil at the other end $38 and has sold out already it’s so hot. Myer 1800 626 611.

New York fashion week is over and London fashion week has just finished:
“It’s less of a Studio 54 moment and more of a Bloomsbury moment and therefore it might be a time in which an intellectual sex appeal is on the rise and a more obvious readily identifiable body-driven sex appeal is starting to seem a little tired.” WWD (tell that to Janet Jackson).
Hot tip: A tiny top and full skirt was the most important look of next winter as well as tweed, tweed and more tweed.
UK Vogue says Christine Mansfield’s East@West is London’s newest hot spot.
Alexander McQueen turned down the top job at YSL.
The Snow Show on in Finnish Lapland “brings together internationally recognized artists and architects (such as Tadao Ando and Anish Kapoor) to design collaborative installations using snow and ice as their primary materials” till end of march or before it all thaws out….
25 Hours Hotel is a cool new hotel in Hamburg with Bentwood furniture, Brionvega TVs, mod orange futons and a meditation solarium.
Luke Perry is in the stage play of When Harry met Sally in London (I’m busy that night)
Ilse Crawford, John Pawson and Vittorio Radice are all behind the Marks and Spencer’s Home wares range and the new Birmingham store called Life Store.
A ’size friendly’ resort for fatty boombahs has opened in Mexico with sturdy furniture, bigger bathrooms and no ladders in the pool (and the gym?).
Virgin Bush Safaris can organize a stay at Princess Caroline’s House on an Island off Kenya.
Amazon’s Canadian site got glitched to reveal the names of the writers of anonymous user reviews which gave us a little peek into the world of friends pimping friends’ books and bitter unpublished writers trashing other writers.
Cindy Crawford’s husband, Rande Gerber has opened a new groovy bar, Stone Rose, in the new 2.8 million sq-ft Time Warner Centre in New York.

Gerard Depardieu and Carole Bouquet have split and he’s run off with Fanny Ardant.
Marc Jacobs is NOT moving to Gucci.
Bridget Jones author Helen Fielding has given birth to a baby boy. “The baby currently has 12 names, but we are working on narrowing it down a bit”.
Friends’ star Matt Leblanc wife had a baby daughter.
Sarah Jessica Parker sobbed on filming the last scenes of SATC “I do have it in my contract that I get to keep all the clothing from anything I do,” Obviously crying of happiness.
SATC is planning to create a big screen version of the series
Jade Jagger is back with Pharrel Williams (last seen kissing Karolina Kurkova).
Fergie wants to live in New York and become an actress on TV (give up. just give up).
Jerry Hall will make cameo appearances in six London musicals in one night, setting a world record in the process. She will play a hooker in “Les Miserables” then jump into a limo to Her Majesty’s Theater for a quick turn in “Phantom of the Opera,” and then on to bit parts in “Fame,” “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’ and “Anything Goes,” and “Jerry Springer: The Opera.”
Drew Barrymore has lost 20 pounds since last autumn.
Heidi Klum has broken up with the father of her bump Flavio and is dating John Mayer.
Diana Ross is receiving royal treatment during her two-day jail sentence for drunk driving ”Four hours here, six hours there. She ordered her own meals, and police officers went to get them”
Arun Nayar has got a divorce and wants to marry Liz Hurley in October.
Salman Rushdie to wed for fourth time a model he met at the Talk launch party
Scarlet Johansson has signed a deal to be the face of new Calvin Klein perfume.
Rachel Hunter has gazumped the Ultimo modelling contract from Rod Stewart’s current girlfriend, Penny Lancaster.

War Paint: Helena Rubinstein and Elizabeth Arden, Their Lives, Their Times, Their Rivalry by Lindy Woodhead
Here’s a great read. If you love biographies and you especially love reading about the glamorous times of the 20’s and 30’s you will love this book about the “Bold, brilliant, and utterly ruththless, Helena Rubinstein and Elizabeth Arden” This book is full of amazing details about these two crazy characters, their rivalry and their rise to the top of cosmetics Queendom. From Melbourne to London, Paris and New York it’s fascinating, unputdownable and full of tit bits about the world of art and fashion and design. $45 Dymocks.

Christmas List:
A checkered past: A Visual Diary of the 60’s and 70’s by Peter Schlesinger.
This was reviewed by Joan Juliet Buck (ex French Vogue editor) in UK Vogue and it looks like a fantastic book about all the international cosmopolitan groovers, movers and shakers of the 70’s. Check out impromptu snaps and an insider’s glimpse of a very young Manolo Blahnik, Paloma Picasso and David Hockney all accompanied with lots of witty commentary. (Just what we like)

Economy: It’s hard to even think about winter clothes now but if you’re shopping think tweed and 50’s chic and keep away from boxy faux Chanel jackets (think fitted) !Then go to the beach…
Shoe Box: have some cheap but chic shoes. Check out the Pierre Fontaine red patent heels $49, the Urban Soul round toe 40’s style heels $139 in red, white black and light blue and some cute kitten heel sling backs $99.
Quick Brown Fox: Have some amazing copies of a leather Tods handbags with white stitching in choc brown, black, camel, blue and a shocking green only $49 and some quite chic nylon camel and brown messenger bags with pleather trim $59.
Dotti: Have done a black and white hound’s-tooth car coat $119, a groovy wide stripe mini sundress $59.95, black patent belted jacket $79.95.
Mollini: have some outrageous Pucci print pink heels $138, black Prada /Gucci copy stilettos with tiny studs $128, fake snakeskin boots in brown $235 and lots of horrid eighties slouch boots and some nice suede round toe heels with two tones pinks/red and grey/ pink with lacing $128.
Swell Store have Sofia Coppola’s label Milk fed which is very groovy in a casual way. Check out the cool khaki shirt dress $275,and some cool T-shirts and dresses.
Esprit: Have a faaabulous soft pink suede jacket almost like a cardigan.Wear it now (more or less) brighten up your black wardrobe or throw it over a white T-shirt or a pretty dress.It’s quite gorgoeus and $399.
Witchery: have done a black leather trench with a rib knit back, very Balenciaga $299, they’ve bought out last year’s cool black zip tight knit top $99, a pretty rose print wrap chiffon top you could actually wear NOW in this heat $149 (OH my god!).
Business
Oilily: Has some amazing new winter pieces that are incredible: floral and printed and quite beautiful colours. There is amazing paisley print throws and scarves $360, Vintage print peasant (very YSL Russian) skirts $450, velvet print skirts $560, long sleeve print T shirts $250 and red wool coat with appliqué $1280, some cool tweed appliqué bags $260 and the kids clothes are so sweet.
Zimmerman: Have some of their winter collection and I ‘m scared. Some of it is so eighties bad taste. But I saw a black belted trench $495, good black fitted jackets $565 and a car print sundress with ruffles $495.
Jigsaw: Have a lot of winter stock but it is very work orientated. Best piece is a round neck sweater with a gathered neckline in lots of different colours to wear later $169,tweed A line skirt $229, Khaki cuffed pants $159 and a wool coat in a cherry $399.
Morrissey: have a fab stretch white double cuff shirt $168 and a black satin trench $599.
Country Road: have flat long black riding boots $349, the best ribbed polo necks (worth buying now for later) in gorgeous dark grey and black (they don’t pill either) $129, and a cool polo neck with buttons along the neck $129.
CK Jeans: Have a chic white double cuff shirt $119, and a cool bleached denim biker jacket $229,simple classic white T-shirt $59.
First Class
Prada: Have lots of fabulous new bags and shoes in and of course you want them all! Especially the caramel studded bags $1720, the divine camel flat T bar sandals with studs $640, the simple, simple, simple, black classic heels $560, ones with a buckle $650 and the patent multi stripe flats sandals $420. Check out Prada Sport ribbed camel V neck sweater $450, divine simple black dresses $1400 and Prada Sport simple grey rib singlets with ribbon $360.The Tie dye collection is not all in yet but its coming soon..
Gucci: The summer collection is in and of course it is all quite beautiful. Mules with studs in choc brown or black $500, gorgeous G logo stud mules in teal, white or black $700, sling back G stilettos $795, a drape slinky knit batwing topin lime or orange $690, orange V neck slinky knit sweater $1220, an amazing brown cotton belted jacket $3600, lots of divine logo and suede belts $450 to match the logo and suede bags.
Evelyn Miles: have some faaabulous new shoes and boots in and don’t we just love the new Sergio Rossi bag collection? You want the gorgeous choc brown, black or camel suede slouch bag $1200, the Rossi soft pink suede boots low heel $1500, choc brown suede high heel boots $1300. Michel Perry has done fabulous pink suede and ribbon patch work boots $1900 (oolalala!), shoes in the same look $998 and amazing hot pink, mini gold heel stilettos $900.The Robert Clergerie is in but it’s not so exciting and dare I say the same thing about the Manolos? Though the T bar 40’s style in bronze or gold are for you at $1990! and the shell and animal print sandals are fab $1998.Outrageous!

Spicy dry fried green beans from Kylie Kwong: recipes and stories

This is such a delicious way to eat your beans and have them too. Kylie says that the this dish “bursts with fragrance and becomes slightly caramelised and nutty” .Yum. Sooo easy and quick, you can whip it up right now with some steamed rice. Then have it again the tomorrow night. It’s addictive ..

. 2 cups vegetable oil for frying
·130 g (a bunch) of green beans
·11/2 tabs of Hoisin sauce
·½ teasp diced garlic
·¼ teasp sea salt
·¼ teasp more vegetable oil (very anal our Kylie with measurements non?)
·2 large red chilies… If you use a knife and fork to slice them in half and remove the seeds you won’t touch the chilies, rub your eyes and then have very attractive red eyes.

·Heat oil in wok. (I know. It’s a shock. You’ve been on a diet and you haven’t fried anything for 10 years but trust me this is very slimming)
·Deep fry the beans (I repeat deep fry!) for 1 to 2 mins till they wilt but are still crunchy ish
·Don’t worry if the beans split a little. Remove from the wok with a slotted spoon and put aside .Yes you may try one
·In a clean wok (pour out the oil into a cup) combine the Hoisin, garlic, salt, vegetable oil, and chilies
·Toss in the beans and stir fry for about 3 mins until they smell delicious and aromatic

Serve with steamed rice and eat just like that. Unadulterated.Simple. Hot.

Sylvia directed by Christine Jeffs with Gwyneth Paltrow.
We missed the beginning of this movie but apparently the first words are “Dying is an art” (No, not buying: dying) That’s the thing how can you relate to a movie about poetry, depression and suicide? (Look at the humorous side! Think that’s just how you feel when you can’t get that new Gucci bag that’s pure poetry!) And how can you go to a movie when you actually know the ending? And it’s not happy Jan. You go because the costume designer is Sandy Powell (Far from Heaven, Orlando, and Gangs of New York). You go to be mesmerized by the fact that all the clothes match the backgrounds and locations. You go because all those gorgeous tweeds and pretty skirts are so next winter. You go because you want to know if the reviewers were right about Gwynie playing Sylvia with radiant conviction (true). You go because it’s a beautifully shot movie (some in New Zealand). You go because it starts out as love story (don’t they all?) all bright and light then turns into a dark claustrophobic ending (crickey). You go because it’s a fantastic movie . You go because one day you might even read one of her books. You go because you realize you are not as insane as you first thought!

UK Vogue March: Has been redesigned with a whole new look. There is a “chic or shriek” page otherwise known as In and Out, a new ’spirit’ section devoted to cosmic stuff and read about the women behind male designers.
Vanity Fair March: it’s the 2004 Oscar Hollywood issue with Julianne Moore, Gwynie, Jennifer Connelly and Naomi Watts on the cover and the lovely Rose Byrne in the ‘coming attractions’ section plus in depth story on Michael Jackson and look out for Vanity Fair’s April issue: It’s not on sale yet but it is their first ever best dressed issue. A whole Vanity Fair devoted to fashion. Heaven! From icons to designers to celebrities…can’t wait!
Travel & Leisure Feb: Read about Joan Juliet Buck in Arizona, the little black book of Hollywood stylists and the best food in Hong Kong and doing Volunteer Holidays.

My husband is out of luck on tonite…..I’ll be too busy reading Fifi report no
25 in bed - and it is sooooo long it will take ages…can’t wait!!!
Thanks for making me get into cooking again, its nice to find some new recipes that are ’sooo’ easy!
Just writng to say how I enjoy all that gossip section,it beats all the gossip magazines any day because there is no boring soap star rubbish.Brilliant!
FiFi the last issue was long but what a bumper issue and we had so much to read, thanks!
There is the FiFi Report in my box! I’ve been looking forward to this week’s mayhem.
Fifi darling love the report, and will be extending my subscription - but why don’t you use spellcheck? ( mmm I do! sub editor come back!)
What a great idea! I love the fashion section because I can go straight to the shops I need to and not have to wait for anything to arrive weeks later in the shops.