“The only bare breasts I want next to me in my life belong to my wife.” Jim Caviezel, (Jesus) who asked J-Lo to put her clothes on before filming a raunchy sex scene (she should sue).
“It’s a funny feeling when your husband kisses another woman, and on top of that acts likes he’s having fun doing it. I admit that I’ve freaked out before, “Jennifer on the price of fame and Brad Pitt having bare breasts next to him (not hers) (she should sue).
“Look at Nicole Kidman. She is beautiful, and she is nice. But sexy? A zero.” Muiccia Prada on Nicole not showing enough bare breasts (oh my god! sue Nicole sue!)
“Donatella Versace - that skin! She looks like something you’d hang off your door in Africa” Joan Rivers (National Geographic breasts?)
“What’s my intro? ‘Would you like to go out with me? I’ll put you on the cover of every magazine, ruin your life and invade your privacy.’ It’s a struggle, it’s tough” Ben Affleck’s on wanting more breast next to him (it’s tough)
“It means sexy boys throw themselves at me and I can borrow lots of designer dresses “Scarlet Johansson on being famous and liking bare boys and fame.
“I feel ugly, talentless and uncommitted, frightened, lonely, nervous, mad – and we haven’t started shooting yet. If it’s not rehearsals it’s weight training, if it’s not etiquette it’s voice coaching. By the end of this film if it’s not suicide it’ll be an asylum” Kate Winslet’s diary from Titanic and not getting enough designer dresses and too much fame
“I don’t want to get addicted to fame. Then when I’m no longer famous I won’t know what to do, and I’ll just seem desperate and lose my mind.” Beyonce (after reading Kate’s diary?)
“I believe I have lived before, but I’m not very advanced in my series of lives. I’m not even into double figures. I don’t have a visual memory of my past lives, but I believe I came from somewhere.(UFO). From experiences with the deceased and with the sixth sense there must be much more than the here-and-now.”Kylie on talking to Michael Hutchence (too late. Time for the Asylum.)
“They’re visiting my home, taking my fingerprints and all the stuff. It’s very exciting.”Angelina Jolie on adopting another baby (fingerprints? famous AND insane)
”On Sept. 11, I was in New York and the YSL store was supposed to open. On the day the planes went into the twin towers, we received 42 calls from customers looking for the purple peasant blouse. The World Trade Center is going down, and women are calling a store for a blouse. The power of fashion can be a scary thing.” Tom Ford (Can’t wait till you go to Hollywood, and write a diary)

Jamie Oliver didn’t make money from cooking. No, he actually made money by investing in a mortar and pestle company. No really. Apparently they sold out everywhere when he first whipped it out to pummel those herbs. Of course you might be one of those daggy people who hasn’t bought one yet or (shock horror) has just got into cooking with one but that’s OK. Just keep subscribing and the day will come when you are onto the latest thing first. In the meantime hop, skip and jump into Target for their fabulous cheap but chic black granite mortar and pestle. Cheap doesn’t mean light and flimsy: it‘s so heavy the box broke when I picked it up to check it wasn’t hollow for the lovely price of $29.99. A bargain (even without the box).

Granite Mortar and Pestle from Target $29.99

When you’ve been running around all day working and shopping frantically in high heels or if you’ve just had an exhausting day reading magazines you will need this weeks little find: a fabulous therapeutic foot massage beanbag. In a gorgeous red fabric it is filled with all sorts of goodies like spearment, rosemary, peppermint and lavender. Just pop it in the freezer to chill it or heat it up in the microwave then apply to those parts of the body that need resuscitation such as your feet (or head). You’ll feel revived in no time.(tried it on the credit card didn’t work)
Therapeutic massage beanbag $35 at Cambodia House

Every woman knows that if you look deep deep into a mirror no one can hear you scream! “I can’t find the right lipstick” well this week my journey into the black hole of beauty is over. I have found a little lip cream that is just the right colour and slides on so naturally there isn’t an extraterrestrial in sight. Incredible. Yes this week I have found the Bloom sheer colour cream in gorgeous ‘rouge’. It comes in a cute little pot you can even apply it to your cheeks too (the cream not the pot) though I must point out it is not glossy but a wonderful natural matt. It doesn’t stay on for light years but it seems to stay on for at least 2 coffees but must be applied again after your almond croissant (which is always another good reason not to eat an almond croissant).

Bloom Sheer Colour Cream $20 from Myer and David Jones.

Garrard has opened their store in New York with Garrard’s creative director Jade Jagger overseeing the design by Tom Bartlett, (who also designed the London flagship and Jade Jaggers Ibiza home)to resemble a contemporary gentleman’s club.
India Hicks and David Flynt Wood’s book “Island Style” was launched with a party at Ralph Lauren’s Madison Avenue store (see FiFi report number #15).
Diane von Furstenbergs new flagship boutique in Paris (opening in May off Rue Saint-Honoré) will include a small bar, a beauty department and makeup artists who will work into the evening. (Working tirelessly for the under confident).
As part of a benefit for the American Film Institute, Michael Kors and Marc Jacobs are planning to present some of their favorite films, along with editors from Vogue, at Soho House.Hamish Bowles and Kors will present “Shampoo,” the 1975 Warren Beatty and Julie Christie classic that played a big part in Kors’ fall collection. Jacobs and Sally Singer are planning to show “The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant” in May, while André Leon Talley is still working out his designer partner (from WWD).( He is gay afer all!)
French Elle will launch a trial edition of weekly French Elle Girl.
The Face is under threat of closure and staff sent out a mass e-mail to try to save the 24-year-old groovex magazine.
Architect Rem Koolhaas and his team have produced a book, a dictionary with every word that had ever appeared in Wired, graphed by popularity. Its usefulness in the long run is up for debate. Koolhaas is also touting a new book of his own “Content,” a monument to himself and his obsessions, including shopping. (What a guy!) From WWD.
Giorgio Armani collaborated with Spanish choreographer Joaquin Cortes, on his latest work, “Of Love and Hate.”
Madonna will be choreographer, costumer and set designer for her upcoming world tour: an extravaganza based on a time-journey through each decade of the last century, beginning with the Roaring Twenties (give up and stop baring your breasts).
Martha Stewart resigned from the board of directors of her namesake empire and relinquished the title of chief creative officer.
Jewel will lend her looks and vocals to L’Oreal’s Féria in commercials that link fashion, music and hair color as aspects of self-expression (hair is so arty)

http://www.bravotv.com/Queer_Eye_for_the_Straight_Guy/
What a difference a gay makes! Yes it’s the fab five out to make over the world — one straight guy at a time. Because I love the show so much (they’re getting cheekier by the minute) I had to check out the website for more. Read about Carson “you are going to call me Patty Duke because I am a miracle worker” and learn that “he slowly learned that he was a gifted child by realizing that plaid and stripes never go together and pleats make your butt look huge”. Find out what the hell Jai does apart from learning “will you marry me in Croatian” (so cultured). Learn that Jai joined the show after a long stint as Angel in the musical Rent. Then go to Hints and tips and find out that “when at a party it’s Ok to mention your profession” Thanks Jai very very cultured.

http://www.carbwire.com
In this fatty boombah world we live in, of course there is a website only devoted only to low carbs. “Carbwire is an online review of everything low-carb. Whether you’re already on a diet or are just doing research, we provide the most up-to-date info on the web”. Check out top ten hints on using mustard to give your low-carb meals some added flavor, recipes in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, and there’s a news section with headlines like “Krispy Kreme spokeswoman Angela Brown has revealed to CarbWire that consumers should be able to purchase its new low sugar/carbs donut the end of 2004” WOW. You read it here first!

Princess Di- shagger James Hewitt was in a magazine competition where readers could write in to win a date. number of entries? Two (probably relatives)
Charisma Carpenter, Cordelia in Buffy the Vampire Slayer poses nude in Playboy next month (what is it with bare breasts and fame?).
Michael Jackson wants to do a film “Hot Rod’ about a man, played by Jackson, who hangs out with a little boy, then morphs into a car, which the boy would then get into and drive. (mmm.Freudian Asylum seeker).
Whitney Houston has entered a drug rehab facility (ditto).
Naomi Campbell is going out with Tommy Lee (double ditto).
Sinead O’Connor had a baby and won’t tell the name of the father (does she know it herself?).
At her latest court appearance Courtney Love handed a reporter a book, A History Of Women, Renaissance and Enlightenment Paradoxes, pointing out it listed female journalists, witches and prostitutes consecutively (another one. I rest my case).
Britney has signed with Elizabeth Arden to do a fragrance, cosmetics and skin care.
Nicole Kidman and Lenny Kravitz are seeing each other again and they met quietly for drinks at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hill (so quietly sshh).
Madonna and Guy are thinking of adoption. (Finger prints please).
Gwyneth Paltrow’s girlfriends gave her a baby shower in New York last week, and the dessert was a big cake with blue frosting…(it’s a trick. Must be a girl).
Paris Hilton is the new face of Guess Jeans and her grandmother died (not because of guess jeans. She just died).
Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe have been named Living National Treasures by the National Trust of Australia (neither were born in here).
J.Lo and Nicole Kidman are to team up on a musical ‘American Darlings’. Nicole will not only star but will produce the movie, about an all-female swing band that took America by storm during the Second World War.
Lisa Kudrow will star in her own sitcom about a no-nonsense psychiatrist opposite Jeff Goldblum, a playboy businessman in need of help. (Ready for the asylum?).
Colin Firth was so unloved by the crew on the set of Girl With a Pearl Earring that their nickname for him was Colin the …(um it rhymes with stunt).
Anna Kornikova’s boyfriend Enrique Iglesias gave her a big fat diamond ring.
SJP is to star opposite Matthew Broderick for the first time in a film Strangers with Candy:the big screen version of a short-lived US comedy series about a runaway drug addict who returns to high school in her mid-forties: (it’s a comedy? Hilarious)

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
When I first heard about this book I didn’t think a book about a boy with Aspergers/autism would be a great read but au contraire. On all the best sellers list this is the bitterly funny debut novel of Mark Haddon and Amazon says “ it’s a murder mystery of sorts–one told by an autistic version of Adrian Mole. Fifteen-year-old Christopher John Francis Boone is mathematically gifted and socially hopeless, raised in a working-class home by parents who can barely cope with their child’s quirks. One night, he comes across his neighbor’s poodle, Wellington, impaled on a garden fork. Wellington’s owner finds him cradling her dead dog in his arms, and has him arrested. After spending a night in jail, Christopher resolves–against the objection of his father and neighbors–to discover just who has murdered Wellington. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time is original, clever, and genuinely moving: this one is a must-read.” Get it and read it.

Christmas List:
The Way We Live: by Stafford Cliff with photographs by Gilles Chaboneix.
Don’t we all love a snazzy new book on gorgeous houses and beautiful design? This one is not only full of inspiring places but has some good info from the ex creative director of the Conran Design Group (and he should know what he’s talking about.). Drool over a beach house in Chile, a loft in Paris or a groovy house in Morocco. Big glossy and very heavy this book is perfect for the coffee table. “A sublime visual record of how we construct and adorn our living spaces, it celebrates our communal experience of the home” even if it means just looking at other peoples.
$75 Ariel Book sellers

This week’s fashion Report comes straight from the new Westfield at Bondi Junction (known as the Junga!) It is amazing:full of economy, business and first class shopping! No need to go to Chaddie Chase or Eastgardens anymore: Very nicely designed with wide-open spaces, light and with lots of club chairs everywhere. There is all sorts of fab shops here and not just fashion: Beauty stores like Aveda and L’Occitaine and our favourite Mecca Cosmetica is here plus The Cancer Council shop (best for sunscreens) The ABC shop, and of course my favourite place: Target! Upstairs there is Pumpkin Patch, Tree House and (soon to open) Esprit Kids and Osh Kosh. But you must head to the top floor food court and check out the stylish (for a shopping mall) bars. There is even a balcony with magnificent views over the harbour. Grab a wine and some oysters and head out there for a perfect lunch after a hectic day shopping! Now read on for all the shops….

Economy:
Target: is the best place for cheap exercise gear from T-shirts to track pants. You might like the long sleeve T-shirts with a fake white T underneath $19.95. Also check out the copy of a black Luella bag with silver buckles (a bit cheap looking) but $29! And interesting to NB the Gucci copy ruched short pointy boots from last season darling $49.FCUK: All too casual in here but love their Puff sleeve V neck T-shirt $39 and the T-shirt that has ‘Moody FCUK’ $39. Tree of Life is here with their Indian caftan tops $19.99 and all sorts of lotions and potions. Allanah Hill: has a gorgeous beaded and sequined khaki chiffon dress $599 and some cute lace camisoles $159 and a pretty chiffon burgundy floral dress $349.Bracewell: Have a groovy London designer ‘Future Classics’ check out their sequin and embroidered patch work dress $550, and also check out the Sass and Bide cord jackets $265 and the ‘Hot Rod’ T-shirt $89.Speedo: have a cool one piece with a bikini back and detachable straps $89 in black, choc and white, a drawstring racer back one piece $69, and too much Hawaiian prints but checkout their rash vests ( with Speedo on them) $49.United Undercolours of Benetton is an underwear shop dedicated to groovy coloured undies by Benetton $69 and bras $39.

Business:
Leona Edmiston is here and Bettina Liano is unpacking and about to open.Armani A/X: has lots of fab things as usual: a groovy belted zip denim biker jacket $399,white rushed T-shirt $119, black bias cut shoe string dress $369,V neck ribbed knit $199, grey little crop zip front tight chunky cardigan $319, collarless camel belted lined trench $569.You want the groovy tie dye cream and camel long sleeve T shirt $169, and the white soft stretch hoodie $129.Marcs: has fab classic rib Polo necks in lots of colours $140,cute Babydoll grey softest wool knit zip hoodie $180 and has their cute kids range here too. Wayne Cooper: has a chic cotton satine pleated pencil skirt $180, white wrap satin double cuff shirts $250,beautiful black leather trim and fake hide zip coat $895,a chic black velvet dress $595,and black Chloe style sailor pants (high waisted) $250.And checkout the black and white stripe cap sleeve T shirts $89.Morrissey: has cute black satin halter camisoles $159, black satin cap sleeves fitted tops $189.You want the stud ‘Rock n Roll’ T-shirt $69 and black cute cotton pencil skirt with fishtail pleating $168. And we love the groovy Aviator sunglasses in lots of different colours $99.Comme Ci Comme Ca: has a lot of ‘work’ classic clothes: you might like the pleated double cuff shirts $249,or the black fitted jacket (good quality fabric) $299, and the black and white stripe sailor T-shirt $219. Zimmerman has a gorgeous blue flower print strapless dress $464 and 50% off on their swimwear here too.
George Jensen is here with fabulous tea lights in glass on a stainless steel base $125 a divine stainless steel salad bowel $345 and lots more.

First Class:
Oroton is open and Ralph Lauren will be open by the weekend (were unpacking)Christensen Copenhagen: Have lots of gorgeous Paul & Joe. You want the wrap print dress with lace trim dress $695,white cotton flak jacket $795, cotton trench in light blue or grey $775, beautiful cashmere taupe track pants $795, a groovy trench in spots $1595 and a peacoat in same fabric $950. Also the Filippa K T-shirts are just simple $95,and the Paul & Joe shoes are cool: 40’s punched leather green or black $850.Bally: is here with all their beautiful shoes and bags seen in their city shop. You want the groovy brown heels with a round toe and brass buckle $595 and bag $750. Escada Sport is here but not really my speed (too Surfers). They have their Spring Summer collection in and the best piece is a gorgeous Pucci style print pink top $625, and skirt $545. Versace Collections: This shop has all the diffusion collections of Versace such as the Jeans Couture and Versace Sport range but there is nothing jumping out at me here but the menswear (which is always sharp).Evelyn Miles: have some amazing Mario Bologna bright fluoro stilettos in hot pink, blue and orange $798, great stud brown heels $798 and fabulous boots $999 and some very classic Manolos with a tie front $1598.The Robert Clergerie looks boring and the Michel Perry shoes are all divine at $898!

FiFi’s fig Jam

The figs are delicious this time of year so why not whip up some fig jam for the winter months? No. Don’t sit there and say “as if I’m ever going to make jam”. You can and you will. You will surprise yourself and most importantly impress your friends. Then you even might want to eat it.

·1 kg. of figs
·750 gm. of sugar
·Juice of ½ a lemon
·Handful of chopped lemon rind
·Cut up the figs into halves getting rid of those ends.
·Throw them into a big saucepan. I say big. Bigger is better. Means that when the sugar boils it won’t spit out at you, which can hurt. Cooking is supposed to be fun not a war zone.
·Mash the figs with a potato masher but don’t go crazy if you want it be a bit chunky.
·Add lemon juice and zest and sugar.
·If you feel like it let them sit there and marinate for a couple of hours.
·Sit down and read the latest Vanity Fair and do your nails.
·Get up go back into the kitchen to bring those figs to the boil.
·Let them boil on low heat but keep stirring now and again so it doesn’t catch the bottom. Watch it all become thick and glossy (sounds like an ad for hair care)
·After 15 mins or so it might actually look like jam. You can see it happening.
·Let it cool and pout into jars.

Smother you gorgeous home made baked bread with lashings of unsalted butter and your delicious home made fig jam.

The Missing Directed by Ron Howard with Cate Blanchett and Tommy Lee Jones.

The New York Times said this movie is like a Stephen King’s ”Little House on the Prairie.” But I say it’s more like Cold Mountain goes West. A gripping western full of shoot ‘em up cowboys and Injins. It’s as if Ron Howard thought I’m sick of making those clean cut, good old fashioned American movies so now I’m going to make a bloody, violent, good old fashioned American movie. Set in 1880s in New Mexico it’s about Maggie (Cate Blanchett) who sets off with her estranged father (Tommy Lee Jones) after her Boyfriend is slaughtered to find her daughter kidnapped by renegade Apaches who plan to sell her into slavery in Mexico. How about that for a plot line? And those apaches sure are the most evil, mean and wicked baddies who ever lived. And they use black magic and all sorts of voodoo to fight the goodies. And fights there are! Snakes alive and blood and guts, and whole lot more I missed from cowering under the seat. But you can’t miss Tommy Lee Jones hair extensions which are amazing as is his apache accent (I’m fluent in apache so I should know). Cate Blanchett is mesmerizing as usual and saves the day fighting all those injins, never missing a shot wearing a fabulous wardrobe of tweeds and capes and scarves. Oh yes siree you get your moneys worth with this movie. Plus I worked out why it’s called The Missing: It’s missing one thing: Jude Law saying marry, marry, marry me 3 times at the end.

Donna Hay Autumn So beautiful and back to the most amazing photography and styling. Will inspire you to start cooking up Autumnal things like bread and buns and look at carrots in a different way..
US Elle March: Has Paris Hilton on the cover and posing at the Ritz in Paris (not the Hilton?) Check out Naomi in a cowboy shoot (westerns are a coming back). A big issue and a good read about Ben Stiller (very quiet).
UK Elle March: has Christina Aguilera on the cover and interview (I haven’t met any pretty Hollywood boys I’ve been intellectually impressed with”) and is another huge March issue. Check out the articles on the ten hottest and sexiest hotels in the world (probably where the fashion team has done contras) and I like their tips on how to give good arrival (dress for success, don’t do plane food and wear a headscarf).