The FiFi Report 036
7 May 2004
Issue 36

“ He’s got a chip on his shoulder and a block-nosed Moe look. All you have to do is put prosthetic bags under his eyes and give him a wacky haircut.” The Farrelly brothers on why they want Russell Crowe as one of the Three Stooges It’s called Dumb & Dumber& Dumbest. Nuf said.
“I have to tell you her butt is riveting! Seriously, it’s mesmerising, It’s like staring into a fire or watching a bay. It puts you into kind of a semi- hypnotic state. It’s so like something alien-like. It’s so right, and somehow it seems like it was transferred from someone else and put on her, but it works. It’s unreal.” Megan Mullally, on J.Lo. Beam me up scottie? (butt & butter and buttest.)
“Even the camels were staring at her in a certain way. The palm trees too.Dead people would even want to date her – she’s amazingly gorgeous.” Val Kilmer on Angelina Jolie. (Dead people would want to date her and she’d go.)
“Well, I think it would be kinda boring with just my mom and dad. It’d be about mom playing with her dog the whole time.” Jack Osbourne on leaving the show ( sick & sicker & sickest)
“My best friend’s very attractive. I wouldn’t particularly want to rip her clothes off, but you know, I could for fifty pounds,” kate becksinadale sleeping her way to the top ( attractive with an Alien like butt)?
“Jen and myself don’t cage each other with this pressure of happily ever after. We made a pact that we will see where this thing is going. I’m not a big proponent of happiness. I think it’s highly overrated.” Brad Pitt you have it all why be happy? Over rated.Like all that money.
“I want to look like Eric Bana.” Brad Pitt Over rated (Spunky. spunkier spunkiest).
“Apparently the Greeks were naked all the time - eat naked, play naked, they liked to be naked. I just didn’t realize I was the only one doing it in the movie” Brad Pitt. Dumber?
“Men are the new women” US Elle (proof: see Troy and the naked men in skirts)
” It is a human rights issue. Everything is not always about freedom of expression. There are limits.” Naomi Campbell’s lawyer after it was ruled unlawful for a newspaper to have published photographs of the supermodel leaving a Narcotics Anonymous meeting and details of her treatment. Human Rights issues! silly & sillier & silliest!

Cambodia House Ceramic Painted Bracelets

When you were in Prada drooling over the Boho choc, retro, global postcard 50’s collection and the fabulous bags and the cute brooches did you by any chance notice the amazing jewellery and the ceramic beads? She’s very clever that Muiccia Prada and so am I for spying the most gorgeous, handmade multi coloured ceramic beads in Cambodia House that are awfully similar. There are long ones that you can wear as a necklace for $25 (you need to pile them on) or grab the small ones on elastic for $17 and wear 3 or 4 as bracelets. Each one is different and they are quite possibly the chicest thing I’ve seen since. um… yesterday in Prada.

Ceramic Painted Bracelets $17 from Cambodia House.

Coach Twill turn lock satchel

It’s Mothers Day in a minute so here’s a tip: don’t waste time, just nick into Coach and buy her a fabulous new bag. The new ‘twill turn lock satchel ‘ looks a bit like an Birken in that it’s big, square and structured and has the turn lock on the side .In fabulous cotton twill with a snazzy leather trim, it comes in gorgeous colours and also in luxurious leather and is big enough to throw everything in and still look chic. But hell why describe something when a picture says a thousand FiFi’s? So go to http://www.coach.com to check it out and then head into the store at 60 Castlereagh st, City.
Oh what a pity! Your mum’s not so sure the bag is really her? Merde, you’ll have to keep it for yourself.
Coach Twill turn lock satchel $690 9223 7233

Bobbi Brown Crystal Lip Gloss

If you have millions of lipsticks stashed at the bottom of the bathroom drawer that look a bit last season in the dryness department then here’s the tip to up date them. Invest in the fabulous Bobbi Brown clear lip gloss and once you’ve slicked on a tiny dab of lipstick squeeze this on for a more modern, glossy look. It’s sticky and it’s stays on a bit (at least until you eat which is a good reason not to eat). ”The easy-use, squeezable tube delivers plenty of clear high-shine. Slanted tip gives on-the-spot application. Wear it alone or layer over your favorite lipstick for added sheen.”

Bobbi Brown Crystal Lip Gloss $40 from David Jones.

Issue 36

The Aussie actress Essie Davis who was the pregnant wife in Girl with a Pearl is now starring in the west end in a play by Tom Stoppard “Jumpers’.
Uma Thuman will star in the sequel to Get Shorty called ‘Be Cool’.
Everyone is talking about 2 new documentaries: “Super Size Me’ about a guy who eats only McDonald’s for a month .”Director Morgan Spurlock had the bright idea that he would eat at McDonald’s three meals a day for a month and see what happens. The outcome is not a pretty picture, but thanks to Spurlock’s oversized and buoyant personality and some pretty nifty filmmaking, the results are as entertaining as they are sobering. (http://www.supersizeme.com )and the other completely different subject “Heir to an execution” is about the Rosenbergs “whose trial and execution embody the hysteria fueled by the Cold War and McCarthy’s red scare. Fifty years after their electrocution, their granddaughter, Ivy Meeropol, conducts a gripping search to uncover the humanity of her grandparents”. Fascinating.
Matte and Shiny” is the bone china collection by Nobu Matsuhisa “This frosty-white dinnerware features organic shapes, enhanced by the two surface textures”.
Prada last week opened its Hong Kong flagship and plans another 13 stores in China
Shabby Chic will be doing a collection of upscale sleepwear and a fifth book, “Shabby Chic: Sumptuous Settings and Other Lovely Things,” Lovely things.
Disney, the studio that owns Miramax, has officially decided to prohibit Miramax, from distributing Mike Moore’s new film, Fahrenheit 9/11.Outrageous.
Pablo Picasso’s 1905 painting “Boy with a Pipe” sold for $104 million at Sotheby’s,.
The biggest free standing aquarium in the world (25m) with a million litres of water and 2500 exotic fish has been built at The Radison SAS Hotel in Berlin.
When you are in Florence you should stay at the Villa la Vedetta, the 5 star villa which is now a hotel run by the Ferragamo family (800 euros a night).
When in Hong Kong on the way to Italy check into the Phillippe Starck designed “Jia serviced apartments” for some 5 star service and free massages.
The Bulgari hotel has opened in Milan.
The Zetter is a cool new Hotel housed in a 19th century warehouse, in Clerkenwell London (http://wwwthezetter.com).

www.vogue.com.au

http://www.vogue.com.au
It’s been Mercedes Australian fashion week if you didn’t know. But why queue for hours in high heels, wait around for hours in the boiling hot tents and then get pushed and shoved to only end up in row b? How humiliating. Best stay at home and check out all the runway shows from the comfort of your own laptop.

http://www.dubyaspeak.com we record the damage
I know I‘ve already introduced you to www.bushisms.com but this one is actually funnier and it even has audios of dubya with The White House’s re written version…No wonder Colin Powell doesn’t want in for the next term. So whenever you want to laugh till you cry , click on here for quotes like:
“I believe that people whose skins aren’t necessarily — are a different color than white can self-govern.” (4/30/04)
“We’ve been through a recession. That means things are going backwards”.
“We want results in every single classroom so that one single child is left behind.”
“Sometimes it’s not easy to be the friend of George W. Bush — I know that. If you know what .I mean.”( yes we do)
“ I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn’t here.”

Issue 36

Naomi Watts has split from Heath ledger “Too immature. We’ve definitely, officially split up.He doesn’t want to get married and have kids. He’s always out clubbing with his friends. He’s so immature that it makes me look stupid for being with him.” Stupid.
Paris Hilton will be doing a perfume “ the beautiful thing about Paris is that she is so well known. She makes news wherever she goes. ” Beautiful.News?.
Penélope Cruz partied with Matthew McConaughey at her 30th birthday party in Madrid.
Hugh Grant is rumoured to be consoling beautiful Eimear Montgomerie, who is has broken up with her husband, golf champion Colin Montgomerie
Heidi Klum has given birth to a little girl. Baby Leni
Scarlett Johanseen has signed a deal to become the face of Louis Vuitton.
Kate Winslet’s new movie is Romance & Cigarettes, a musical comedy with Susan Sarandon, James Gandolfini and directed by John Turturro.
Parker Posey and Ryan Adams are dating
Brad Pitt was at the L’Uomo Vogue party to celebrate his shoot with Stephen Klein. Celebrate.
Ashley Judd recently took a flight in first class cabin wearing thick gloves and immediately took out a packet of sterilising wipes and proceeded to wipe down the seats and surroundings before sitting down. She would only accept plates and glasses if she could wipe them first and insisted on only drinking from her own bottle of champagne” Guilt issues. Big time.
Gwyneth is on the cover of W showing off her pregnant bump
Elizabeth Jagger is dating Sean Lennon (no bumps)
Melanie Knauss, the pneumatic model who is Donald Trump’s chick has been sporting a huge diamond rock on her left hand. (Pnematic diamond? A big bump)
Word at the New York Kabbalah Centre is that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher tied the knot in secret during a spiritual retreat last month. (Secret bumps and diamonds.Spiritual.)
Britney sneaked her boyfriend into her plush London hotel for a naked midnight swim.Sneaky.
Prosecutors seized two pairs of Michael Jackson’s underpants for DNA testing ( just 2?) Seized?
Madonna and Guy have legal steps to stop wanderers from traipsing through their English country estate. Traipsing Not allowed.
Brad Pitt is doing an informal architecture apprenticeship in Frank Gehry’s office


Scribbling the cat,Travels with an African soldier by Alexandra Fuller

How thrilled I was to find (as I leafed through the latest American Elle) that Alexandra Fulller has written another book. Alexandra who? She, my fellow voracious readers, is the writer of one of my favourite books (see FiFi # 10) Don’t Lets Go to the Dogs Tonight a fantastic book about growing up in Rhodesia in the 70’s . If you haven’t followed my expert advice and not read this one yet, shame on you. This new one is a bit of a kooky/interesting story when she travels “with a strangely charismatic Rhodesian war veteran into a modern-day heart of darkness. In Zambia, visiting her parents for Christmas, she asked her father about a nearby banana farmer who was known for being a “tough bugger.” Her father’s response was a warning to steer clear of him; he told Bo: “Curiosity scribbled the cat.” Nonetheless, Fuller began her strange friendship with the man she calls K, a white African and veteran of the Rhodesian war. K is, seemingly, a man of contradictions: tattooed, battle scarred, and weathered by farm work, he is a lion of a man, feral and bulletproof. Fuller and K decide to travel from Zambia through Zimbabwe (formerly Rhodesia) and Mozambique to visit the scenes of the wars”…And she has a husband and 2 children back in America so you can imagine this is interesting reading. Not light but worth it.

The Christmas List:
Rene Burri Photographs by Rene Burri
I had never heard of this photgrapher until I saw this incredible book on the 72-year-old Swiss photographer with the Magnum agency who has “covered almost every defining political crisis and social upheaval of the last 50 years — Suez, Vietnam, Cuba, the Middle East and China, to name a few — and photographed everyone from Picasso to Che Guevara, Fidel Castro to Le Corbusier.” This book is huge and heavy and all the black and white shots are really amazing: each chapters is accompanied by a brief essay that gives an overview of the images, the time period and political climate. Rivesting. $175 Leslie McKay

Issue 36

Economy:
David Jones: have lots of new bags in such as Furla, Nannini, DKNY and there’ s even quite a good Jag big black one with white trim with 2 big buckles, perfect for work a cheap but chic $99. Check out the shoes too. There are some cool Milana ones in black patent with white stitching and kitten heel $209,Milana gold or black T bar $215, you must buy the most fabulous ballet slippers with a chic scalloped edge and a grosgrain bow in camel, black or red $179.Check out the Jane Debster copies of marc Jacobs cute flats with flowers along the toe $139, Sandler’s T bar silver shoe is cool for $99,Urban Soul 40’s 2 tone brown and pink $159, and Sachi have done lots of fab Sergio Rossi um yes call them copies for $129, like the flat black patent with white strips on the toe $129. Alta linea is a cool shoe label with red flats with buckles $129 or red 40’s round toe $189.
Ben Sherman: is all very casual but there is an interesting flocked khaki zip jacket with a rib edge $179, and a Liberty print style peasant shirts $59, and a black plastic bomber jacket $249. Bracewell: have some cool Future classics pieces like the black chiffon top with sequins $380. Zomp: Paddington has heaps of flats shoes on sale. Apex shoes: have gold/bronze sling backs that are cool for $130 and for 40’s style slingbacks $178. If shop in oxford St have a fab bucket bags in fabric with sequins and leather strap $69 (it’s about to close down)(The shop not the bag).Nine west: have done some mini totes in fab colours like red green, yellow and black $39.( style.com say downsize to small chic bags for summer: I say carry 2 bags like Kate Moss).Review: have a cool retro print rose skirts $99.Esprit: have some great things in: keep away from the edc range which is too young and very eighties candy colours and instead check out the cutest black wool pleated skirt with a satin hem and a ribbon belt $149 and a cool white peacoat . A black canvas courier style bag with huge eyelets on the strp is perfect for a very casual weekendy bag to throw across your body $39, satin pencil pleated skirt in black is just the basic thing to wear now with everything ( colour is in the accessories and trenchcoats please) $139, but sure you might like the trenchcoat in black satin with press sstuds $299 too. Witchery: have some fab fur scarves in black, green and pink $69.95 and a black and white tweed A line skirt with leather spots $149, a cool grey zip hood top $59, and brown or light green singlets are still the go under a jacket $29.
Business:
Country Road: have the best ribbed poloneck sweater in every colour: black, brown grey white blue etc $139, a cool grey or oatmeal hooded zip top $149, a shrunk crop denim jacket with zips $249, velvet narrow trousers with zips on the ankle (sound daggy but will be cool with heels) $179, check out the black knit singlets with a wide sweater over it $148,and in the homewears there are some chic little bowls with white inside and light blue or green on the out $7.95.David Lawrence: DL Jeans have done a cool wide camel cord trench $259. Scanlan & Theodore: The new shop in Oxford street on the corner of Glenmore road is great (say goodbye to the old one at the top of Oxford).It’s all gorgeous in here but I always say that. You have to have the paisley print sqiggle skirts $325,the brown distressed leather belted cardigan/ jacket $1200, the crop trench $550, the fab purple empire chiffon top $320, the must have pink spot print jersey top $350 and the dress $400 and don’t forget the tweed coat $900 and the stretchy shell tops $100. You can’t go wrong in here.
David Jones shoes: check out the ‘Autre chose’ black or white kitten heels with big buttons on front $425, just arrived are the Jil Sander black or cream flats $525, black round toe heels with a frill $699 and the beige round toe and chunky heel $700. There are Marc by marc Jacobs red 40’s open toe $599 plus others but ne panickez pas the Jimmy Choos here are not so amazing as we see on sex and the city.Diesel: Have some undies that say forever and ever and ever on the front (a Brazilian?) a cool shrunken choc brown velvet jacket $450, a black knit singlet top with a drape neck $170, a cool camel and white tie dye top with scarf tie $240, and a fab pink, floral paisley, chiffon dress with a rib knit halter and hankerchief hem ( go Fleetwood Mac!) $345. Bisonte: Have cute leather mini skirts and I mean mini me minis!. Buy one in orange or black with a buckle on the side if you can $530, or check out the cool black leather patchwork bombers $1090, or the fabulous black suede collarless coat with a tiny frill reduced from $880 to $680 also in choc brown suede. And please someone have the fab scarf made from leather discs $429 or the cool cracked leather slouch bags in red $270.
First Class;
Gucci: Some of the summer is here so why not splurge on the jewelled snake bags with gold $$$$! Or the limited edition embroidered chain bag $2200, there’s a pink marabou fur bolero $3135, the stripe track pants $1355,some gorgeous print scarves $455 and divine leaf print top with a drop sleeves $1170 and a poncho version in oranges $1630. Also check out the shoes: the sling backs with eyelets everywhere $710,the flat sandal $625, or grab some bags like the leather double shoulder clasp barrel shape in tan $1780 or the ones with a bamboo handle and studs $1625 and please buy the new sunglasses which are so cool Jackie O style $400.
Cosmo shoes: Oh my god that place is exploding! There are shoes everywhere! The YSL are all gorgeous like the 40’s/70 ankle straps $11o0 or the brown suede ankle straps $770 or the black satin heels $700.You will die when you see the Rudolph Menudier, the Sergio Rossi, the Sonia Rykiel and what about the Dior? There are just too many to mention (will you forgive me?) Go in with the black Amex and weep.
Belinda: Want to fall in love? Zoom into Belinda in the MLC and drool and stroke all the new summer collections. The Lanvin, of course, is beautiful and I love the label ‘Lanvin ete 2004’ written on it just so you know when it’s last years and when you can call it vintage! You want the black silk dress with a big ribbon $2395, the black beaded dress with pink bow, and the gorgeous green or blue shell tops with low back $1476. You want all the Missoni: a red stripe frill top $2795, the lurex stripe blazer $2425, the stripe zig zag dress $950, lurex tops $826 and you can afford the stripe zig zag scarves in lurex $595.If you are into Boho retro chic you’ll love the Marni which looks like it’s straight from the attic from the 50’s in faded vintage colours and prints and wrinkled and washed. You want the melon or tan cropped leather jacket $2395, the flocked velvet print coat in Melon or green $2395, the retro print skirts $995 in different colours and prints and the accessories are divine: bags from $1300, and the best shoes $695 and fab retro sunglasses $495. But wait there’s more! The Ann Demeulemeester is so different from Marni:all black and white and yes Belgian. The prices are reasonable like the fabulous silver leather shell top $825 or the white rib singlet with double layer $285,there’s a viscose shell $375.Next whip out a cheque book and indulge in the Clements Ribeiro for belted 40’s floral chiffon dresses $1343, a crinkled cream trench $1775, or get into Joseph suede choc or tan simple unstructured tops $1995 or the suede hoodie $1795..delicious!

Pumpkin Risotto

Pumpkin Risotto

Now it’s just a little bit chilly at night it’s what a perfect excuse to eat more. So why not try the best risotto recipe from The River Café cook book? So easy the trick is to bake the pumpkin first then toss it in at the end….then you can have it all done before you turn into a pumpkin yourself.

You need for about 6:
1 big butternut pumpkin
1 bunch of lemon thyme
2 or 3 garlics finely chopped please.
5 tabs of olive oil
1 litre of chicken stock (River Cafe say make it. I say have a good time)
150 g butter
1 red onion finely but roughly chopped, they love it!
300g of Arborio rice
75ml of vermouth or dry white wine
200g off parmesan and more for later

·Pre heat oven to 220
·Cut up the pumpkin into largish chunks and don’t even worry about peeling it. But hello? Ditch all those seeds but surely you don’t need to be told that?
·Whack it in a baking dish skin side down ( they can sun bake on their backs)
·Drizzle with olive oil, the garlic and scatter chicly with delicious lemon thyme
·And with lots of cracked pepper and salt
·Toss in the oven for about an hour or so until the pumpkin smells so fabulous and looks caramelized and soft and gooey.
·Take out of the oven: it’s here the river café says scrape the skin off but I say what the hell for? Far too messy and time consuming. Really.
·So now let it sit in the baking dish marinating in the juice and oil and thyme while you do the risotto.
·If you know how to cook risotto then skippado these next instructions please and pour yourself a wine.
·Risotto:·Heat the chicken stock if you feel like but don’t start having a nervous breakdown if it’s not hot. I couldn’t bear it.
·Melt the butter and oil and gently (they already been roughly chopped) cook the onion till it’s soft.
·Add the rice and totally coat the rice with all that fat.
·Add a couple of cups of stock to cover the rice and start stirring and keep
stirring for hours and hours on end ( feels like it) ( think of the calories) until the stock is absorbed, then add some more and repeat till all the stock has been absorbed and the risotto looks like, well risotto: creamy.
Stick your finger in Nigella and go on and taste it. Delicious? not yet cooked? Add some water or wine or more stock and keep stirring (all in the wrist action).

·Toss the pretty orange pumpkin (and all the oil and juice so you scrape the bottom of the baking dish) on top of the risotto, chuck on the grated parmesan, the vernouth ( pour one for yourself too) dob on more butter and lots of salt and pepper.
·Give it a little stir and serve.
·Check that out, doesn’t it look too too divine? Another winner.

Issue 36

Evelyn with Pierce Brosnan and directed Bruce Beresford.
The Los Angeles times said, “Despite a story predictable enough to make The Sound of Music play like a nail-biting thriller, its heart is so much in the right place it is difficult to get really peeved at it.” Hello? The Sound of Music WAS a nail-biting thriller! Don’t you remember all those horrid Nazis? (Why did they climb every mountain? Not to sing another song that’s for sure. ) In fact The Sound of Music is a great movie and Evelyn is merely good, worth seeing if you don’t get put off by too much schmaltz. Set in the forties it is based on the true story of a landmark court case in Ireland of a man who wanted to take his kids back from the state and fought the courts and church after his wife runs off and leaves them. Sad bit here. The problem with this movie, in fact, is not the sugary moments (not that fattening) it’s Pierce Brosman who produced it and who plays the father. He is just so unconvincing as a poor, ill educated, single, unemployed boozer. And far too debonair with a wardrobe that does nothing to help: he turns up his collar, throws on jaunty scarves, wears snazzy tweeds and trying to look disheveled by not shaving (mmm doesn’t work hasn’t he seen George Clooney?).This movie would have been great with Colin Farrell or any cheeky monkey larrikin (George Clooney). The guy who steals the show is Alan Bates who is fantastic as a Barrister. And what a pity the little daughter Evelyn was not played by those fantastic sisters from ‘In America’. (They probably were). But this movie will be a great girlie video night with a teary deary ending. Just don’t expect Billy Elliot, it’s only Evelyn (bless).Then watch The Sound of Music. And really sob.

Issue 36

Teen Vogue April: cute magazine.This month has a cool story by Camilla Nickeson on Khaki (green is the colour du jour) a story on some cool cats in London on street style including Peaches Geldof and all about the new movie Havana Nights with Romola Garai.
US Elle May: Here you’ll the low down on Zurich, lots of Bikinis and you’ll be proud to see Kit Willow and Sass and Bide both get editorial .There’s a piece on ‘why men are the new woman” : they like cooking, relationships and design (someone will rip that story idea off) and theres a great travel story on cool hotels around the world.
Metropolitan Home May: Is the best interiors magazine,the houses are all so modern, no chintz in sight.This issue has the Design top 100 and here’s the scoop.# 1 is Santiago Calatrana who has designed a transit hub at ground zero that will open up every sept 11, #15 is the Sony wireless TV, #17 is Hotel le A in Paris ( reported in FiFi# 32),#25 is Marc newsom,#31 is a clear Kayak (so you can see the sharks) #70 is the Muji cardboard speakers and check out the Neutra house .Buy this issue

Issue 36

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