“I was at those test screenings where women allegedly burst into tears and men hid their faces in shame, and I never saw anything like that. There may have been a couple of guffaws, but there wasn’t any gasping or dropping to one’s knees. For a second, [the audience] thought, ‘Oh look, there’s a movie star’s ying yang.’ ” Dallas Roberts, who plays Colin Farrell’s gay lover in “A Home at the End of the World,” NYP (Ying Yang)
“I have got every woman in my life because of comedy. When you make a woman laugh, sex follows. It’s a natural progression.” Hahaha! Will Smith (not the opposite?)
“There’s something timeless and important about making people laugh, about being the bright spot in their day, funny doesn’t sag!” Reese Witherspoon on not having any Ying Yang
“I know I’ll get married again one day. I’m the guy who loves relationships. I love women. I’m the guy who’s going to get married again. Tom Cruise ( This guy is not straight)
“With Donatella Versace and Courtney Love off to rehab, the world’s set for an enormous glut of cocaine”. Popbitch
“After heartbreak, there are different stages. First it’s denial, then devastation. Then it’s the tears, and then after that it’s the chocolate” Brittany Murphy.Fat
“We’re living in the middle of a witch-hunt and fat people are the witches,” The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance “It’s gotten markedly worse in the last few years because of the propaganda that fatness, a natural human characteristic, is somehow a form of disease.” Witches! ( breakup=chocolate=fat=rehab)
“ I was getting my makeup done, and it just hit me: I love Nick, but I need time alone. I called my psychic, and I asked her opinion.I went straight to the Kabbalah Centre and got a new bracelet”. - Paris Hilton on thinking for herself (what hit her?)
“Beauty? Let me tell you something - being thought of as ‘a beautiful woman’ has spared me nothing in life. No heartache, no trouble. Love has been difficult. Beauty is essentially meaningless ” Halle Berry ( meaningingless millions $$ and a meaningless Oscar and meaningless Ying Yang)

So many sequins, so little time. Yes, there is so much glitter around I am starting to look like a Christmas tree! But as I keep repeating, it’s all about having sparkly accessories. So I was so thrilled to find a fabulous version of the Marc Jacobs silver sequin scarf in Sportsgirl. So if you haven’t invested in a Witchery one or even if you have, nick into Sportsgirl for this little must have. It has a soft pink chiffon trim and will make you so happy for a mere $39.

$39 Silver Sequin Scarf from Sportsgirl.

If you are sick of looking into the black hole called your Birken Bag, trying to find your makeup then here’s the solution. No, not an Hermes torch, what you need is a makeup bag that isn’t black but is chic, and red from Mac. In 2 sizes, they are a perfect to throw in your handbag and are cleverly designed with a little inside pocket to put your valium. Finally no more fumbling around hysterically when you bump into George Clooney trying to find your lip gloss.
Make up bags $48 or smaller pencil case $35 from Mac

I have been working too hard. Too much shopping, Too many restaurant reviews, too many movies, too many openings. I can’t tell you how stressful it is. In fact it is so exhausting, I am getting seriously black circles under my eyes. Now, we all know that black is a NoNo this season, which is why I had to try the Chanel Precision Eye Tonic. It is supposed to diminish the dark circles with a powerful lipotrpeptide, boost circulation with bioflavonoid of mandarin and an extract of horse chestnut and has Licorice “to reduce hyperpigmentation”. Sounds like something I could eat. It feels great because you apply it with a rollerball applicator and it seems to be doing something, my black bags are going (very last season) and my skin is softer. Oh and I look like Christy Turlington too.

Chanel Precision Eye Tonic $78.

Charlotte Casiraghi, the daughter of Princess Caroline celebrated her 18th birthday at a series of parties so airtight on press that even Casiraghi’s closest friends were asked to leave cameras at the door. “It’s a pity no one sees the dress,” said Karl Lagerfeld of the flesh-toned Chanel couture confection she wore to the ball Even the sketches were destroyed. “WWD
The Atkins headquarters in Manhattan, where Dr Atkins slipped, fell and died last year, has been bought by the Kabbalah Centre, thanks to Madonna.
Brothers Laurent and Frederick Lesort are opening a new club in New York for “a limited number of private membership opportunities for a dynamic group of individuals,” Among the members are Miramax honcho Harvey Weinstein, PR whizzes Lizzie Grubman, Aerin Lauder, Lauren Davis and Cornelia Guest, the A-listers who pay the $850 annual fee will have access to a private lounge protected by a high-tech fingerprint scanning system. And they won’t have to shlep all the way down to the Meatpacking District: Frederick’s is conveniently located at Fifth Ave. and 58th NYD.
Bruce Weber has designed a men’s collection, including swim trunks and cowboy shirts, and labeled it “Weber Built.”
Elsa Klensch, the fashion TV Journo from CNN has written her first book “Live at 10:00, Dead at 10:15” an Agatha Christie-esque murder mystery centered around a family-owned fashion house where everyone — from the hot young designer to the publicist to the magazine editor — has a motive to kill. WWD
Karl Lagerfeld went on the French ‘Who wants to be a Millionaire” with model Carla Bruni and won lots of money for a charity.
Athina Onassis has put the Greek Island Skorpios on sale for $360 Million.Cheap
Corsica is the new St Tropez (says Vogue) stay at La Villa http://www.hotel-lavilla.com Balenciaga is doing a line from the archives called Balenciaga edition.
Madonna has bought the film rights to the book “Model; The ugly business of being beautiful”.
Off to Cyprus? Stay at the groovy, simple, chic hotel The Almyra http://www.cyprushotelsonline.net/almyra.htm.

http://www.successwhosmydaddy.com“If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why aren’t I famous?” this is the place to find out. This site highlights the relationship between success and family and how coming from the right one almost always guarantees success (or at least Celebrity)” Trawl this site to find out such riveting information as George Clooney’s Uncle is Oscar winner Jose Ferrer, or that Gela Taylor from Juicy Couture is married to John Taylor from Duran Duran. Extraordinarily useless and fabulous gossip.

http://eat.epicurious.com/
Epicurious is a Conde Nast website which brings together food magazines like Gourmet and Bon Appetit and has the “worlds greatest recipe collection” and you know I think it does. It is huge! There are so many links, plus a video section and a slideshow section too. Read the ‘Letter from France’ by Susan Loomis ( who wrote on Rue Tatin) and the Report from Italy.You could spend hours here. And get really fat.

Worried friends are urging Martha Stewart to stay safe behind bars — by hiring a tough-as-nails lesbian inmate to protect her from possible physical abuse. National Enquirer! ( worried )
Nick Carter broke down in tears during a reunion with his former bandmates after he was quizzed over Paris Hilton ’s bruises. Paris refuses to confirm his explanation that she received the injuries during an S&M photo shoot. (No wonder she dumped him) Gawker
Will Smith’s full-frontal scene in new movie I, Robot is too naughty for US audiences and has been pixelated out. “America is the only place where it’s really a big deal”( Big deal. Big Ying Yang)
Kate Moss is to be back with actor Daniel Craig and gone to Formentera for a holiday.
Reese Witherspoon will be on the cover of the September issue of US Vanity Fair to promote her latest movie Vanity Fair.
Nicolas Cage has married for the third time to a 20-year waitress.
George Clooney will put on 40 lbs and shave off his hair to play a CIA agent in the upcoming Syriana ( he makes me laugh)
Holly Valance has turned down a role in Nip/Tuck, because she couldn’t handle the threesome scene it would involve. ( no Ying and Yang and Ying)
Kylie Minogue has walked out on Olivier Martinez, following a furious row in the south of France (not funny Jan)
Graydon Carter editor of Vanity Fair, is to marry his British girlfriend, Anna Scott
A 60-foot billboard of Chloe Sevigny pleasuring ( !) Vincent Gallo was unveiled on Hollywood’s Sunset Blvd. The steamy and controversial ad, is plugging a notorious scene in the upcoming “X-Rated Adults Only” flick “The Brown Bunny,” “Chloe is one of the most beautiful and talented people in the world” Vincent Gallo (talented! ) NYDD
Mary-kate Olsen wants to train as a chef and open her own restaurant ( perfect for her anorxia.Talented )
Oprah has signed a new contract to keep through to 2010-11 ( not funny)

The Master by Colm Tóibín
This new Colm Tóibín book has had rave reviews, and everyone I know who has read it says it is fantastic with velvet writing. “Brilliant and profoundly moving, The Master tells the story of Henry James, a man born into one of America’s first intellectual families two decades before the Civil War. James left his country to live in Paris, Rome, Venice, and London among privileged artists and writers. In stunningly resonant prose, Tóibín captures the loneliness and longing, the hope and despair of a man who never married, never resolved his sexual identity. The emotional intensity of Tóibín’s portrait of James is riveting. ” Any book that travels through Paris, Rome and Venice among the privileged gets my vote.
The Master $30 http://www.angusrobertson.com.au

The Christmas List:
Henri Cartier-Bresson: The Man, The Image and the World
Photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson, who died Wednesday at the age of 95, was “universally hailed as one of the most influential image-makers of the last century” and this book of 600 photos, film and drawings was published in honour of his 95th birthday. It is an amazing book, full of his incredible photos of his ‘decisive moments’ as he called the instant “ when visual harmony and and human significance coalesce” A nust buy
$133 http://www.angusrobertson.com.au/

Economy:
Esprit: have a cool, sheer chiffon, drape neck black or brown V neck top $89, black Capri pants (actually really shorts) $59, a Marc Jacobs esque black dress 40’s dress with white piping $129, and dark denim side pocket pants ( pretending they are jeans) $99, a fake snakeskin bag doctors bag is $29 in hot pink, black, and outrageous green. There is just a perfect, white T-shirt with a nice stitched neckline $24, and a pretty sequin beaded soft pink or black halter top $139. Apex Shoes in Oxford St have some cool shoes on sale. For $99 there are faded silver (or pink or black) pointy heels with buckles and also check out the T bar 20’s style heels in gold $180, some sling back flats $140 and more. Museum: Have a great trench coat in stone, belted a bit 70’s cut on sale $150 and there are cool ‘Joe the Taxi Driver’ T-shirts here too. Nine West: have some low kitten heel sling backs with a silver heart on front $139 in red, cream, and black. Witchery: Best pieces are the black T-shirts with pearl front $89, the black beaded capelet $99 (a capelet? That is a little thing like a cape to throw over your shoulders and look groovy) and a black drape top is seriously backless, very Dior esque with a strip across the front $69, and there are nice matt silk camis with embroidery down the front $79. New in: a shell top with silver beading embroidery all over it $109 and a Tods style bag in camel or black $129 very chic. Swell Store have some cool slogan T- shirts. In fact I bought the one in red that’s says: “No money” perfect to wear into Gucci $59. b>Supre is cheap but (sometimes) chic central. Worth looking at are all the crazy slogan T shirts at the back of the shop, one says ‘Royalty’ in glitter $26 and ‘please don’t feed the models’ $18, also the retro print skirts $54 – (a bit Marrimekko if you squint your eyes) - and the shrunken blazers for an outrageously cheap $59 (back with a Gucci bag it will work) there are the shortest shorts ever $35, and cotton, soft pink trench coats $88. Sportsgirl; have copied the Marc Jacobs Sophia Bag (in plastic) in green or black $49, there is a good denim jean- a bit dark-$99, a soft peach, almost cream leather blazer $399. It is glitter city here with hundreds of sequin tops. Hundreds. Also they’ve done a postcard print 50’s skirt a la Prada but it’s a bit washed out water colour ish (not sure) $89.

Business:
CK Jeans; Not alot new in this week but don’t forget the cool trench and you want the cream V neck drapey T shirt $129. Marcs Baby Doll: Lots of pink and very casual T shirts/jeans here and nothing yelling out to be worn! I do like the red ¾ sleeve T shirt with an abstract pink dog on the front. Great to throw on under a black jacket with jeans $59, In Marcs there is a cool Diesel T shirt, backless drape V neck $96 in melon ( a new colour for pink) and there are some cool, soft blue, stripe shrunken jackets at an outrageous price of $499 ( buy an import/quality for that price) but the trench isn’t bad, belted $495. You need though the Marcs aviator sunglasses here $129 and $189. Bare: have some sexy, soft blue or white backless short 20’s dresses with sequin beaded trim $495. David Lawrence: have some classic stripe shirts in pinks or blues $95, and check out their watermelon silky knit vests $110 and a black drape almost sheer knit $110. Gary Castles; Love the Boccacini silver or black snakeskin heels $499, and the cool, Autre Chose suede, low, kitten heels in green or black with a square buckle $429, the 40’s round ankle strap T bars are cool $285 in suede, brown, black and purple and so are the silver, black or gold open toe heels $329. Country Road: Still lots of things still reduced in the back of the Oxford st store. Zomp Shoez: Lots of new shoes in: You want the Costume Nationale ones in suede with ankle strap 40’s style $600 and the teal blue, pointy heels $695, the Robert Robert cream or orange flat $180 and the medium heels pointy toes for $180 in black or white or red. There are cute Zomp flat kitten thin strap, T bar Capri style sandles $200 too. Keith Matheson: has some new John Smedley knits in blue with a green trim $295 and matching cardigan $325 and some black ones too. Charlie Brown has done a Prada style jeweled pearl trimmed cardigan $199, a pearl and jewel black Long sleeve T $139, I love it and also as a shell top $119 and a sheer sequin halter top $199.

First Class
Myer: Have a few new things in the imports. Check out the ‘7 for all mankind’ jeans and T shirts. There is some new DKNY jeans pieces like a denim crinkle cut jacket zip front $305 and a nice, straight, denim skirt with a big zip $230.There is an Armani Jeans white shell top with Warhol prints of Armani on the front, quite cool $129, and a black knit shell top $229 and a black satin cami ( no lace) $349. Check out the See By Chloe, a lot of boring black but there is a lipstick print dress $746. The Red by Valentino is not worth mentioning and there is not a lot left of the Philosophy by Alberta Ferretti. But the Chloe is amazing, very 80’s with a green bead and gold and black patchwork leather skirt, yours for $3999 and Stevie Nicks green chiffon top is $1599.There is a white/mint pearl trim T-shirt with cut out shoulders, $1500. And green jersey dresses sleeveless with a tie back $1499, Check out the matching leather gold green jacket $8999. DKNY: look at the nice pink or black rib 5 button, Jackie O tops $449 and you want the divine silk soft chiffon, camel belted trench $999, and the thick cotton, canvas one is $1299. Christian Lacroix is very pink, and very Pucci which is who he has been designing. Check out the silver lurex and pink top ( Missoni style) $619. Jaclin Chouchana: has a red/burgundy full skirt with beads scattered over it $1265, and a long singlet with a chiffon trim in black or camel $179 and check out the Matechevski for a grey strapless dress with black velvet piping $609 and a dark grey A line skirt $389. There is also some Tina Kalivas but its too 80’s pour moi! David Jones: Lots of new shoes here. You want the Marc by Marc Jacobs satin black or pink T bar with silver sequins $599 and the green open toe 40’s one with big jewels on the front $599. There is also some Marc by Marc Jacobs very scary 80’s ones but the beaded suede things are cool $550.There are some Della Spiga pink and orange strappy heels also in blue and green, $ 270 ,or Della Spiga blue ankle straps with a flower $280. Also the Walter Steiger are here and the Sergio Rossi are all gorgeous.You want the black patent heels with pink hoops $799, the aqua beaded toe things in suede $799, seriously pointy heels in black with a metal toe $800 and some classic strappy black suede ones $899.Plus you want the tan suede sandles with drawstring lacing on the ankle, $799. Also Kate Spade shoes are here but they are a bit cutsie. Check out the loafers for $450 and some good strappy 40’s style ones in black and white $450.

Yolande’s Trout and Leek Pie

This is a winner, more for a dinner party than whipping up dinner on a school night. It is full of fabulously fattening butter so only feed it to people whose cholesterol level can cope with a terrorist attack. And if not, at least when they keel over they’ll have a smile on their face knowing they’ve just had the most delicious pie ever !

For 4
You need:
2 sheets per pie of butter puff pastry
1 cup short grain rice
2 large leeks, chopped roughly baby
2 spring onions chopped
fillet of a large trout ( skin off)
250g unsalted butter
dill : if you like but I am a dill free zone in all sense of the word.
Preheat oven to about 180

·Cook rice. Yes that’s right, cook the rice. You want to put it cooked in the pie so do as you are told, stop carrying on and cook it please. Good.
·Let it cool
·Heat a great big chunk of butter and cook the leeks till they are caramelized. You might even sprinkle some sugar just to help it along.
·Ok now get the trout fillet and gently- be careful – place it on the cooking leeks and turn it down so it’s just low and let it nearly cook through. Pop the lid on too to keep it from drying out. No wrinkles on this trout.
·Ok now grab those 1/2 squares of pastry and stick them together to make the base of the tart. Just wet it with your fingers and stick it together like playdoe.
·Keep an eye on the fish and leeks, and if you need to throw in more butter.
·Keep calm. Actually better have a drink.
·Grease, moisterise a baking dish and pop the pastry stuck beautifully together in it open and flat.
·Check that Trout .If it is nearly cooked, turn it off.
·Let me explain: what you are going to do is, put the rice, leeks and trout on the pastry base and then put the other ½ of pastry on top and close it up like a present. Yes, so it looks like a pie with a lid on.
·So now make a brick with the rice in the middle of the pastry. It’s so much fun using your fingers isn’t it? Should be about ½ inch high and leave enough pastry free on the edge so you can join it up with the lid of pastry on top.
·Put trout on top of the rice and then all the leeks and all the butter on top of that
·Drizzle with all that butter. You can’t have this pie dry. Dry pie no good.
·Give it a good going over with salt and pepper.
·Grab that other ½ of pastry and pop it on the top of the leeks like a lid and join up the sides with it so you have a pie that is encased.
·So clever.
·Top with more butter, smothering it like it’s crème de la Mer
·Now bake in the oven for about 40 mins or until the pastry is lovely and golden brown like Donatella.
·Wow ! This is a crowd pleaser. Thank god you made two.
·Serve with a green salad, crusty bread and a copy of the Atkins diet.

My life without Me
Tissues, waterproof mascara, maybe some Chanel eye tonic and a good glass of wine, that’s what you need to get through this fabulous movie. Yes, it is a tear jerker and I mean a serious tear jerker. But relax, it is a very groovy tear jerker which makes all the difference. But don’t read any more if you don’t want to know the story. It’s about a 23 year old girl (Sarah Polley) who lives in trailer with her 2 young daughters and her husband, in her mothers back yard. She works as a cleaner and you get the picture, what a dreary life. Well, it’s not so dreary because her husband is a huge spunk (Scott Speedman) who is madly in love with her and her mother is Debbie Harry. Mmm sounds cool to me. But, oh dear it gets dreary when she finds out she has cancer and 3 months to live from some creepy crawly doctor. She decides not to tell anyone and sits down to write “a list of things to do before I die” which includes sleeping with someone else. Outrageous. This is such a beautifully shot film, very groovy with kooky, handheld angles and harsh lighting, and the performance by Sarah Polley is mesmerizing. But I have one question: How did she get 2 gorgeous guys in love with her at the same time? Mmm things we need to do before we die. I give this move 9 out of ten! Just be prepared to cry so much you will swim out of the cinema.

US Vogue August: Finally this arrived. It‘s great (as usual) and looks like it has had a bit of a redesign. It’s the ‘Age’ issue with a fab fashion story on models from their 20’s to the 60’s. Also read about Alice Temperley, Kate Spade, Stella Mccartney and Carolina Herrera. And of course the Elvis women are on the cover and the new William Norwich social pages is fun to read.
W August: Has Scarlett Johannsen on the cover and on the inside, it’s about why she is THE ‘it’ girl. Read about Adrien Brody, Bjork, and the first black billionaire Sheila C.Johnson. There are the coolest shots of Jude Law and Sienna Miller by Bruce Weber and lots and lots to read. A must buy issue.
Vogue Entertaining and Travel August: It’s the travel issue so there is a story on Singapore, a piece on Japan by Alsitair Hendy, read about Hong Kong hot spots and Greece. And you want to cook the eschalot and red wine Tare Tatin. Yum.