“Jessica never tries to be sexy, She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she’s sexy in both. She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!” JOE Simpson, her father the former Baptist minister turned manager.
“It doesn’t work for her to be gay the first thing out. She said, ‘But it’s cool, it’s edgy, it’s different,’ and of course the filmmakers were like, ‘It’s cool for a woman to be a lesbian,’ and I’m like, ‘That’s true, but not her first role.’ She’s going to be a huge movie star. She’s like Meg Ryan or Cameron Diaz” , JOE Simpson, the father of Ashlee simpson on her first movie role ( Meg Ryan and Cameron are fantastic actors?) ( someone cover him up)
“ Britney will get bored of babies then be on to the next thing, like a puppy or a new pair of boots. Now Britney has been surfing the web looking at parenting sites.” A friend quoting Britney’s mother ( I love my pet ugg boots)
“I really want to get pregnant. I want a baby. I’m not pregnant, but it would make me so happy if I got pregnant before I’m too old. I’d love to re-marry. It’s so great to raise a child, but it takes two. .” Nicole Kidman on new Ugg boots
“Yes, Hef’s sleeping with them all. For real! I’ve actually walked in on him. See, one time I was over at the mansion with some friends. We were swimming in the grotto, and I decided to walk around the house a little bit. And as I was walking around, I ran into one of the girls. And she’s like, ‘Come upstairs.’ So I went upstairs, and there’s Hef on the bed. There’s baby oil, there’s toys flying every which way, there’s all these girls naked. It was like watching a movie. I was standing in the doorway just looking - for a really long time. And finally I realized they were all looking at me!” Pamela Anderson to Esquire magazine: ( cover those suckers up)
“Wear control-top stockings when you wear white so they can’t see the cellulite on your booty.” Tyra Banks on covering it up
“It’s for guys who want to know more about girls and for girls who want to know more about guys,” HEIDI KLUM on Body of Knowledge book ( don’t tell them about the control top stockings)
“On Saturday night I saw Owen Wilson on Christopher St. He has the worst goddamn bottle-blonde, fried hair I have ever seen. It was mulletous as well. Yo Wilson, get that shit managed. Someone should really tell him long, shaggy hair is for losers. He was in front of a dildo store. But I guess on Christopher one is always in front of a dildo store.” From Gawker stalker ( it’s coverup)
“If people want me to prove to them that I have no homosexual inclinations, I will test all their wives and girlfriends.” - Adrian Nastase, PM of Romania.(ditto)

Need some help with all those last minute cheap but cheap presents? OK here’s the rundown on where to go: David Jones for a gorgeous little red Born to shop leather book $29, Borders Books for The worst case Scenario Cooking; card game $14 and for Stephanie Alexander Cooks Companion , only $84 ( RRP is $125) and wrapped in its own stripe wrapping paper. Empire in Surry Hills: have gorgeous tall clear glass candlesticks $35 and lots of other homewares. The Metropolitan Art Museum shop in QVB is well worth a trip, they have divine books,cards and kids pop up dolls houses $45. Jones, The grocer has short breads and baby plum puddings and beautiful Bison ceramics. Crabtree and Evelyn have Noel candles, a divine plain red and in a tin box $39.The Kinokuniya Bookstore has heaps of cute little gifts and if you are in Galleries Victoria go to Freedom too. Don’t forget HOT Dollar in Bondi Junction for all sorts of ridiculous things for about $2, and of course the POP shop, Angelo and Tony and Opus. Stuck for an idea? Remember you can never be too thin, too rich or have too many books.

Christmas isn’t only about giving (and receiving gifts) it’s also about wrapping them in divine paper. Please go to Borders for a fabulous selections from Paperchase in London, The Baytree for flocked velvet and all sorts of beautiful designs. There is La Papeterie just opened in Bondi Junction and The Paper Place down stairs in MLC. Go to Ikea for lots of cheap but chic rolls, and of course David Jones and Coles. After all, it’s not the present it’s the thought that goes into the wrapping that’s counts.

So many parties, so little time to get ready and look like you are glowing. Time to cheat! Grab a tube of the fabulous Palmers Body Gloss Cocoa Butter Formula and you will suddenly look golden and radiant. It has a gorgeous, subtle golden shimmer. No, don’t get scared, it’s not glitter but a very clever sheen that really does illuminate the skin. I used the Nivea version of this but this Palmer cocoa butter one is much better and really moisturizes the skin, it’s perfect for the legs and shoulders. But I am not so sure about the smell - it’s a bit like chocolate, but isn’t it more slimming to wear it than eat it?

$9.95 Palmers Body Gloss Cocoa Butter Formula from Chemists everywhere.

The first Gucci Café is open in Milan’s Galleria Vittorio Emanuele . The café will offer a selection of coffees and teas, together with chocolates created and exclusively made for Gucci by Ernst Knam, one of Milan’s best-known pâtissiers. The chocolates will be shaped as tiny cubes and decorated with the house’s staple double-G logo. WWD
Critics heaped lavish praise on the world theater premiere of Mary Poppins on Thursday after it took nearly $20 million in advance sales. Fresh from winning critical acclaim in a revival of “My Fair Lady,” British actress Laura Michelle Kelly took on another iconic Andrews role and won a standing ovation at Wednesday’s first night after she soared over the auditorium. “A star is born,” declared The Evening Standard.
‘Those misshapen utilitarian sacs that hung from one too many tacky tourists’ waistlines in the Eighties have recently been co-opted by hipsters. Outlaw Consulting of San Francisco, whose clients include Nike and Levi Strauss, has a theory that explains the return of the fanny pack. The fanny pack — along with big plastic earrings, beards and moustaches, the early Nineties, white tennis shoes and Southern rock — is an “Emerging Ironic Statement.” “The concept is simple, take something so uncool that it causes a reaction, wear it with a combination of humor and confidence and it becomes cool…As a trend, irony shows no signs of waning.” WWD Ironic
New York Film Critics Circle gave their Best Film award to ‘Sideways’ the movie that just this weekend won the Los Angeles Film Critics’ top honor and dominated this morning’s Golden Globe nominations.
Christian Lacroix has written his autobiography, which details the intimate years of his childhood in Arles in the Fifties. The name of the book is “Qui est là?” and it has just been published in France, and the designer has been talking to publishers in America. It is something of a Greek tragedy, mainly because of his recounting of family suicides and his grandfather’s bizarre methods of trying to teach him to fight. “When I was very little, my grandfather once took me to a local gypsy neighborhood and pushed me in the middle of the gang, saying, ‘Start a fight and then try and defend yourself,’” says Lacroix. Wwd
Billabong USA, a manufacturer of surf and snow apparel, accessories and streetwear, plans to open its first New York store this spring in Times Square — directly beneath the MTV studios.
.After getting Vogue editor at large André Leon Talley to act as narrator for “The Owl and the Pussycat” for its performances this April, the Martha Graham Dance Company has landed another big fashion name, Oscar de la Renta to appear on its stage next year. Or at least his dresses. WWD
US Vogue is getting involved in the media frenzy over the impending wedding of Donald Trump and Melania Knauss and will publish an article in its February issue about the future Mrs. Trump’s trip to the Paris couture shows in the summer, with André Leon Talley, Vogue’s editor at large. The couple is currently in talks to grant exclusive photo rights to the wedding to an undisclosed magazine, according to Trump’s spokeswoman. Donald doesn’t need the money — he needs the respectability,” said one. “He wants to make Melania a star”

http://moma.e-cards.org
Now here is a fabulous website to send out divine e cards to all your friends for Christmas. There is a great selection of artists to choose from: click on the Animated cards section and check out the lovely ‘Peace on Earth” card by T .Cooper and watch it move, ( so elegant ) or the very groovy Jenny Holzer ‘s Selections of Truisms. ( very cool). Then click on the optical ornaments, and watch them jiggle. ( sweet)

Or go http://www.flyyy.com/
This is THE e card site ( which you already know about see FiFi #22 ) but please check out their Christmas e card selection of 90 postcards. There is everything here from animated cards to a still life of champagne flutes by David Loftus. Which is just what we need this time of year. The cards and the champagne!

‘Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have laughed off rumours of a split with a naked romp. Just weeks ago the couple were on the verge of separation but now paparazzi photos of them show them in the buff together in Mexico. Kurt can be seen completely naked, while Goldie went topless - all the time laughing and joking for the cameras’ ( cover those suckers up) Glamour
Chloé designer Phoebe Philo’s had a baby girl.
Brad Pitt and Matt Damon had to be evacuated from London’s Claridge’s hotel today after a fire broke out in the restaurant kitchen. ( too hot)
Enrique Iglesias and Anna Kournikova have got married in Mexico.
One half of America’s patron alcoholic duo, Barbara Bush, reportedly slipped and hit her head during a White House holiday party on Saturday. Apparently, Barbara was dancing and “dipped her head down low.” Huh? Was she headbanging? Is there some hot new dance move we don’t know? Gawker
Brittany Murphy has moved into pop slattern Britney Spears’ old Hollywood Hills home. She has kept all of Spears’ original furnishings and likes it. Gawker
David and Victoria Beckham have hired a £1,000-a-day butler to help open the family’s presents on Christmas Day because they have splashed out on so many gifts they expect to be unwrapping goodies for over four hours and need a little extra help. “The person they’ve hired is one of the best in his field,” reveals a friend of the family. “In fact, he was originally booked by the Osbournes to spend Christmas with them, but the Beckhams really wanted him so they upped their offer. Before lunch starts he’s been instructed to go around and collect mobiles to ensure there’s no disturbance during the meal. ” (To think there are people starving in the world and I’m not talking models)Posh?
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi have fallen in love after leaving their long-term girlfriends. DeGeneres split from Alexandra Hedison and De Rossi recently left Ringo Starr’s step-daughter ( that’s A TV show itself).
Flavio Briatore is romancing Tamara Mellon, wife of Matthew Mellon.
Britney Spears smelly feet upset her fellow airplane passengers recently and caused a stink (uncovered)
A new and undeniably absurd perfume line called Bond no. 9 is offering scents based on New York neighborhoods. The Bowery scent smells of “old people and rotten fruit.” ( someone bottle britney’s feet please and sell it)
Madonna halted her Versace ad campaign shoot for a “prayer break”
Nicole Kidman is wearing bandages on both her pretty little knees for cartilage injuries she suffered in “Moulin Rouge.” ( covered up by her new ugg boots)
Liv Tyler has a baby boy early yesterday morning.
Is Kate Moss pregnant? Who’s the daddy?
When pregnant with Brooklyn and Romeo, you couldn’t escape from magazines full of the blooming Skeletor (posh) proudly showing off her bump. This time, although more than six months pregnant, we haven’t once seen her without an enormous tent-like poncho. The Beckhams announced the pregnancy right at the height of the Rebecca Loos stories - the perfect time for a PR coup. We know that brilliant PR stories from the past - the kidnap threat, but surely a fake pregnancy is too dark and twisted an idea even for these two geniuses of the black arts of publicity? Pop bitch ( it’s a coverup!)

Kate Spade: Style, Occasions, Manners
The American designer Kate Spade has written a three book series of guides to Style, Manners and Occasions and they are the perfect little Christmas gifts. They are lovely, small, old fashioned books, each with water colour illustrations very much in the 50’s style of Kate Spade. In Manners “ she shares her ideas about etiquette in lighthearted but down-to-earth terms. Kindness, common sense, and levity are the foundation for good manners at home, when dining, in the office, or out in public (at a sporting event or on an airplane)” Yes, everywhere Please. The Style book is, (yes! you guessed it) , about Style and ‘Occasions’ offers “ fresh, insightful advice for making every occasion festive, elegant and memorable” Perfect for Christmas.
$29 from Ariel and major booksellers http://www.katespade.com

The Christmas List:
Marc Jacobs ( Memoirs) by Bridget Foley (Nov 1, 2004) Publisher:Assouline
That Bridget Foley has been busy. First there was THE book on Tom Ford and now she has written or produced this must-have book on Marc Jacobs. With the lovely Sophia Coppola on the cover, this is another glorious fashion book to buy (from Amazon UK) . Colin McDowell from The Sunday Times in London writes “ There is no designer in the world more hip than Jacobs. Uniquely, he makes clothes that aren’t just edgy and chic, but fun as well. As for the bags he designs for Louis Vuitton — well, we don’t need to go there. So this is the trendiest little fashion book any fashionista could want. Sixty well-chosen pictures give a clear idea of what makes Jacobs so successful, but the real plus is the informative and perceptive overview of his career provided in the introduction by Foley, executive editor of WWD. Anyone under 35 will love this cool little primer.” Anyone over will too! £12.95 http://www.amazon.co.uk

There are sales everywhere! Don’t waste your money on crap go straight to Gucci and buy a bag..
Economy:
Witchery: There are very cute shortie Pajamas in blue and white, or pink or white ( very short) $29 and a top $39.There are white cotton guipure lace wrap shirts $99 and white singlets with a tiny diamante triangle ( that’s enough bling) $49, the dingle dangle earrings are good too. And there are chinos and pink everywhere you look. And you may buy the beaded trimmed long caftans in every colour $79 and the choc brown bag with ring detail, very Marc Jacobs $139, plus the T bar brass bead sandals $99. There is a very handy pleated 50’s skirt and it is black (which is why it is handy ;hides everything, goes with everything) $149. Cue; Has some cool wrap and tie cap sleeve tops $129, a watermelon swirl ruffle dress $219, and a green halter dress with a black metal ring $249,and a black ruffle chic dress is for you $175. Check out the very Balenciaga double stitched black dress with a gathered front $169. Accessorize: this shop is looking a thousand times better ( not so cheap looking) or maybe it’s because summer things can look OK but it’s hard to make winter accessories look expensive. Go in here for your daughters and nieces who love beach bags and hats and all sorts of summer sarongs. There are Marc Jacobs rip off bags in a good green $49, thongs in every colour and striped $19, and pull on cotton hats $19.Plus their Xmas decorations are fun: the cutest little knitted decorations that are doll size and I’m talking small like Barbie. Little sweaters, tops, felt little Santas and Pinocchios all knitted, all very handmade and crafty around $16 each. Esprit: have so many black drape tops and dresses. Best pieces are the white cotton wrap double cuff shirts $99 and the paneled satin black cami is the go $68 Sportscraft: Best pieces are the long cotton ruffle paisley print dresses $195 FCUK: are on sale, check out the floral wedge espadrilles $100, the cute floral skirts now $69 and the T shirts that say ‘Sing, sleep, dream, fcuk ,laugh” $39 and the faded vintage looking missoni stripe skirt now $120 and I like the big beach bags with a leather trim and in a vintage style 50’s print now $99. Sportsgirl: Kaftans and beaded city here. Check out the pink long one with silver sequins $149, the water melon chiffon poncho with silver sequins $99. There is a very Loris Azzaro top, in jersey with a key hole surrounded by sequins $79, a sheer flesh lace top with gold embroidery is chic $129 and there handy little presents here for teenagers , diaries, earrings, clutch bags etc. Glamadonna: Don’t forget they have a glomesh black slouch bag $100.

Business:
David Lawrence is looking a little bit grandma (no, not granny chic) with too much lilac and boring pink. Best pieces are the dark denim crop side pocket jeans $125, the white scoop neck tank with a gathered front $39
CK Jeans: Perhaps you want the white cargo pants for the beach $149, and the dark denim mini $100? Jigsaw: mmm ditto a bit grandma too. Best pieces are the black beaded capelet and soft pink Gucci style drape tops $139 or the nice dark denim skirt $149 and the long caftans are linen is good $169.There is a black satin silk dress with shoe string straps and a black glomesh insert in the front $169. Sexy. Country Road: Queues here to get it in the fitting rooms, a good sign. Best pieces are the green 50’s pleated skirt in cotton $125 ,the short white shorts $35, and the short caftan linen tops which just cover the bottom (very important) $69 and the racer back tops are great too $39. Check out the new red and white stripe one $49. Midas are having a big sale then having a revamp next season.

First Class:
Gucci: Are on sale in the old YSL store across the road in Castelreagh st and please go in and buy up big with 30% off (somebody has to!) Best pieces are the purple satin heels $485, the flat purple suede ballet pumps with GG are now $345, the black loafers $85, the red leather and canvas slouch bag with serious gold handles $1225, and a green leather slouch one with GG and gold stud is rather perfect for all occasions everywhere, $995. The black logo black canvas open Birkin bag style is $995, the caramel suede one with GG $1200, and there are lots of wallets in red too. Also the clothes are on sale too. You want the divine green drape top L/S $650 and the amazing green pleated and twisted tank $795, the purple cut out top $815 and the bandage black pencil skirt $1450, the white twisted top $650 and a black cut out backless dress $905.Then cross the road and check out all the all new cruise collection, clothes and bags and more pieces on sale. And can you please buy your dog the Gucci dog collar and bowl and your baby, the Gucci bib. Thanks.
Belinda MLC: has just got the Martin Grant collection and he really has a genius cut. He should get the job with Givenchy or one of the big labels. You want the fitted 50’s black coat with a leather belt $2095, a black crochet lace skirt with bronze satin lining $1945, a pink tweed shift dress with a gold fleck through it $1445 and matching coat and the most divine grey peacoat that Lee Razdiwill would surely wear $1995,plus the most beautifully cut black trench coat is yours for $2226.The Juemin Puech bags that are beaded and very evening, and all perfect for now around $700. You also want the Antipast sweaters in stripes $295 and the Sophia Kokosalaki is all divine, Please buy the new Ericson Beamon jewellery: the diamante crystal chocker and earrings are gorgeous. XSRE: is on sale and you can have the fabulous Luella bags at 30% off. The stand up tote is gorgeous and a bit more subtle than the other famous Luella bag $1100. The Valentino bags are amazing: there is a red canvas logo bag with leather trim for $1385 and the jewellery here is quite gorgeous and a lot of it on sale. Big rings, bracelets and earrings are all fabulous. Get in there now.

Christmas fruit mince ice cream pots
This is just the thing for a hot and lovely Christmas Day. It can be done in ten minutes and is outrageously easy. Just mix the mince with icecream and freezing it into exquisite little servings….

For 6
You need
1 jar of fruit mince
500 ml to 700 ml of vanilla icecream
cherries to serve on top
a bit of icing sugar as snow

·Soften the icecream so you can mix it easily
·Yes, leave it out for about 10 mins
·Now here’s the difficult bit:
·Mix the mince with the ice cream in a bowl
·Maybe I should repeat it so it’s clear…
·Mix the fruit with the icecream in a bowl
·While mixing think about all those presents you are never going to get for Christmas
·Think about all those people who never even get to eat Christmas dinner and thank your lucky stars
·Divide in cute little glasses, bowls, ramekins or whatever, lined with plastic wrap so you can turn them out easily
·Freeze for about 4 to 6 hours until set
·Turn out of the glass mould
·How chic is that?
·Serve with the accoutrement of cherries on top with a sprinkling of icing sugar
·Sensational!

·Merry Christmas and have a Happy safe New Year

The FiFi Report is away in rehab until Friday 21st January 2005.
and all subscriptions will be extended accordingly.

Finding Neverland by Marc Forster (Monster’s Ball) with Kate Winslet and Johnny Depp.
It’s about a little boy who never grows old. No, not from surgery or botox or any kind of drugs but from make believe and magic. This is the story of J.M Barrie who wrote Peter Pan and it is a tearjeeker of the highest order. The cinema was bawling, sobbing, blowing their noses and sniffing right to the end. In fact I couldn’t watch the last scene it was sooooo moving. But is it a good movie? Yes, indeed it is. It sounds like it is really soppy but in fact it is a fabulous movie, and it takes you right in. Based on ‘ true events’ it then takes a fictional look at the creation of Peter Pan, “ that speaks directly to the child in all of us and traverses both fantasy and everyday reality, melding the difficulties and heartbreak of adult life with the spellbinding allure and childlike innocence of the boy who never grows up” Johnny Depp is fantastic as Barrie and so is Kate Winslet as the widowed Mrs Llewelyn Davies who is left with four boys ( one called Peter) to bring up and who Barrie befriends. Julie Christie is great as her mother and Dustin Hoffman as the loyal producer Charles Frohman. It’s a lovely story about fairies and pirates and of course about what it means to really believe, which is just what we need at Christmas non?