“ I’m proud of my girls” Scarlet Johannsen on her breasts ( Jessica Simpson’s father said the same thing)
“There is no point sitting around feeling depressed” Scarlet Johannsen (yes, it is depressing being a young,blond rich movie star with clothes on tap and your ‘girls’ in tow)
“It became obvious to her what was going on. She was pretty upset about it. It’s one thing to have people looking at your sex tapes, but having people reading your personal e-mails is a real invasion of privacy.” A friend of Paris Hilton who had a hacker get into her emails (Videoporn is nothing compared to someone seeing your emails)
“People follow you into the bathroom. They listen to you pee, wait for you to come out of the stall, and then ask to shake your hand or sign the loo roll,” J-Lo ( hope you wash your hands)
“I’m gonna show up, I’m gonna say ‘I do’ and I’m gonna be a very good husband for a change,” Donald Trump on his upcoming wedding
“I like him the way he is,” Fdonald Trump’s fiancée when advised by Tom Ford to persuade Trump to do something about his much mocked sweep-over. ( the way he is: rich )
“Jen and Brad, I wish you both well. And I really hope you have a very good prenuptial agreement.” Donald Trump ( don’t change Donald)
“I think he was sending a message so we know which one is being dumped.” . An insider commenting on Brad Pitt wearing a shirt emblazoned with the word “Trash.” Before he broke up with Jen ( it’s a sign! )
. “I was all ready to sign, then this girl said, ‘Hey, hold on, aren’t you a convicted felon?’ I said, ‘Yes, so what?’ and she told me I’m not eligible to sign official Senate petitions because of my criminal record, which was pretty embarrassing” Winona Ryder (embarrassing)
“God had blessed me by sparing my life”, Star Jones, who replaced Joan Rivers
as Golden Globes red carpet fashion critic,after having honeymooned in Thailand only a month ago
“God didn’t bless 160,000 people. Sparing you was more of an over-sight on his part.” man of the moment, comedian Jon Stewart replies (If it sounds mean, please note: this is a woman who makes Joan Rivers seem a paragon of loveliness. (Gawker)
“The truth is, pretty people aren’t as accepted as other people. It comes with all these stigmas. It’s like, ‘She’s pretty and thin so she’s got to have problems. She must be anorexic or depressed or bitchy. Mishca Barton ( don’t hate me because I am beautiful )
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen - they are just like panda bears, everyone’s watching them, waiting to see if they’ll survive.” Claire Danes on anorexic and depressed Olsen twins (feed the animals please)

If Father Christmas brought you an ipod for Christmas, you’re probably now trying to work out how to tune the ridiculous itrip into the radio in the car. Which everyone now knows is as hard as stopping viagra spams in your in box. Impossible. So please just go straight into Dick Smith and buy the cassette adaptor. It’s an actual tape cassette that goes into your car cassette player then plugs into your ipod and plays the music through your car speakers. Too Too easy.

$28 Digitor Cassette Adaptor

If your feet have had a happy beach holiday in thongs and Birkenstocks and have started screaming when you put them in your stilettos its time to tell them to shut up and listen. Because it is with much pleasure we announce the return of the flat shoe. Yes, it shocking news for the thighs but great news for your tinkle toes. Go for cute ballet shoes in a colour, in silver or gold embellished. They look cute with cropped pants and evencuter with all thoise fifties skirts too. Go to Evelyn Miles for their own label ballet shoes $398, Myer for Marc Jacobs $500, Country Road for some sweet ones in chocolate $159 and in gorgeous beige suede. Mollini and Freelance shoes have some on sale for $50 which look just like the Chloe ones.

Am I the only person to suffer from humidity hair apart from Michael Jackson? It’s not that curly hair isn’t in fashion but what I’m talking about is the little frizz that seems to appear during the day just when you want to look chic lurking in Gucci. So please apply the Pantene “Extra straight & relaxing cream”. No, you don’t inhale it to get relaxed but instead apply it to your damp hair before you blow dry it. Watch your hair become straight and sleek and chic! I have to say it really does work. (If only someone had invented the same thing for the hips.)

$8.95 Pantene Extra Straight & Relaxing Cream from 1800 028 280.

Prada Group plans to run Jil Sander just as if nothing has changed — even though everything has, now that the namesake designer has left once again.
The Winter Antiques Show starts on Jan. 20 in New York.
DKNY’s new ad campaign is inspired by one of life’s great pleasures: reading the Sunday paper. Shot by Peter Lindbergh and styled by Patricia Field, the campaign breaks in the March issues of five magazines in the form of an insert created to look and feel like the style section of a newspaper — specifically, The New York Times. WWD
In New York check the new restaurant, Little Giant, on Orchard Street.
Peter Jackson will adapt Alice Sebold’s best-selling novel The Lovely Bones
Sundance, the premiere independent film festival, starts today in Utah
Playboy Enterprises Inc., which now has an appetite for luxury goods and fashion as well as Bunnies, is expanding its retail presence with two new licensed stores slated to open in Las Vegas and Melbourne, Australia. Please explain.
Stephen Fry is to join the cast of the big-screen adaptation of Douglas Adams’ cult novel “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”
Elton John, Rod Stewart, Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne, Phil Collins and opera tenor Andrea Bocelli are set to contribute vocals to an all-star charity cover of Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven,” to benefit the Save the Children Fund’s tsunami relief effort
Photographers Mario Testino and the late Herb Ritts will share the Rodeo Drive Walk of Style Award this year
Established in 2003, the honor recognizes style legends for their contributions in fashion and entertainment and has already gone to Giorgio Armani and Tom Ford
Donatella Versace is planning a massive spring clean this year and is set to auction off a substantial amount of her personal art collection. A selection of sculptures, paintings and furniture will go under the hammer in Milan on April 7 and May 7..
Denise Poiret, the wife of designer Paul Poiret, was celebrated for her modern and timeless style in the early years of the 20th century. Come May 10 and 11, the designer’s granddaughter, Perrine, plans to auction off some 150 pieces of her wardrobe, and hundreds of other personal effects, at Paris auction house Piasa. And none other than Azzedine Alaïa, a Poiret aficionado, plans to exhibit some of the dresses at his Marais headquarters.
Marc Newson will design Azzedine Alaïa’s next boutique: an accessories unit across from his headquarters on Rue de Moussy. WWD
Paris’ Hotel de Crillon, better known for demure debutante balls than raucous Rolling Stones parties, is taking it up a notch. It has tapped design guru Philippe Starck to glam up its bar.

http://www.dvf.com
Diane Von Furstenburg is very cool ( and thin but chic) so check out her very new website. Click to see the latest collection, to buy her beauty products or see her all groovy shops but I like her diary of overseas trips (Just click on Buzz then go to DVF Diaries) where you can “ Join Diane and her family and friends for a globetrotting adventure that takes you from a theatre in Central Park, to shopping in Turkey to sightseeing in historic Russia” Amusing!

http://www.jibjab.com/lowband/default.htm
Well, if we must face another 4 years of George Dubya we may as well a laugh at him…

Jude Law is planning to marry Sienna Miller in Fiji,
Britney Spears was yesterday spotted shopping for baby clothes amid press reports she’s nine weeks pregnant.
Jennifer Aniston says she can’t live in the $13 million mansion that Brad Pitt spent two years renovating. The house includes a nursery that will never be used, at least not by her. She wants to try to work out a settlement so Brad can keep his beloved house. In the meantime, she has been staying with her hairdresser, who, like many in his field, is an expert in consoling distraught clients.
Kate Moss enjoyed a birthday smooch with troubled rock star Pete Doherty, according to The Sun. Chanel face Kate turned 31 at the weekend and celebrated with a glamorous party at her home in the Cotswolds, however, despite a hoard of A-list pals in attendance, she only had eyes for one. “Kate and Pete were all over each other,”
Linda Evangelista was spotted holidaying in, Italy, Paolo Barilla of Italy’s famous Barilla pasta family.
Ricky Gervais has confirmed he will appear in Mission: Impossible 3.
Vogue writer Plum Sykes has become engaged to boyfriend, Toby Roland.
Say a silent prayer for George Clooney who underwent “spinal cap” surgery.
. Melania Knauss, the 34-year-old Slovenian and future Mrs. Donald Trump, will hit newsstands this week gracing the cover of February’s US Vogue in the embroidered confection by John Galliano for Dior Haute Couture that she will wear for the Saturday nuptials. The white duchesse satin fitted gown is made from almost 300 feet of material, with a 13-foot train, and crowned by a 16-foot veil. Knauss is also the first bride to appear on the cover of Vogue in full wedding regalia in its 115-year history. Knauss, has been advised to eat well before the wedding so she is strong enough to wear the dress and will sit on a bench rather than a chair to cater for its volume
Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake got engaged in L.A and now the rumor is she is asking one of her favorite designers, David Jet Black Horse, to create a short white leather Native American wedding dress with beading.
Lauren Bush, President Bush’s niece, is just back from Australia, where she spent her semester abroad studying at the University of Sydney. Lauren did a shoot for Australian Vogue just before she left.
Madonna and Guy Ritchie renewed their wedding vows for their anniversary.
Donna Karan who broke her left knee while skiing on powder in Idaho’s sun valley, nearly three years after breaking her right knee while helicopter skiing in the same location
Christy Turlington, who has a one-year-old daughter, filled several shopping bags with her pal Elle Macpherson’s maternity lingerie. ( for her ‘girls’?)

Front Row: The Cool Life and Hot Times of Vogue’s Editor in Chief by Jerry Oppenheimer
If only this had come out before Christmas, it would have been a fabulous read for the beach! Full of juicy gossip from bestselling author of Just Desserts: Martha Stewart: The Unauthorized Biography “ comes the inside story of Anna Wintour’s incredible rise to power as Editor in chief of US Vogue. Now in her mid-fifties and in her second decade at Vogue this revealing biography that will shock and surprise as it unveils the startling revelations: in the ’70s, Wintour was introduced to Bob Marley and got a backstage pass to one of Marley’s shows She immediately “fell for” the pot-smoking musician. She was “riveted” and acted as if she’d “met God,” and “virtually disappeared for a week”. When Wintour finally resurfaced, she looked utterly worn out from her exertions with the rasta legend, but denied to friends she’d spent the week in Marley’s bed. Throughout her colorful career Wintour had affairs with many men, including British gossip columnist Nigel Dempster, who bedded her at a young age, and “Monty Python” star Eric Idle. But she was always somewhat frosty, which Oppenheimer attributes to the fact that she had a “pretty screwed up childhood,” growing up in a “horribly depressed and icy atmosphere.” In 1984, she married South African child psychologist David Shaffer; she was 34, he was 48. The first signs of trouble came when she was reported to have gotten the top job at Vogue via an affair with Si Newhouse.In 1999, Shaffer learned that Wintour was having an affair with Texas mogul Shelby Bryan when Bryan left a message on their answering machine. Shaffer called Bryan’s wife and told her, “Your husband and my wife are [bleeping] each other.” Bryan and Wintour, now 55, are still together’ .A must read! (Page six New York Post) Sounds like it’s all gossip. Fabulous!
$24.95 St. Martin’s Press (published February 1, 2005)

The Christmas List:
Kate Moss: Model of Imperfection by Katherine Kendall
But wait, there’s more! Here’s another juicy (probably unauthorized as well) fashion biography, this time on Kate Moss. ‘Katherine Kendall is an avid Kate Moss fan who ran the most popular Kate Moss website Kate-site.com, in the mid-Nineties. With the site now defunct, she continues her role as Moss’ number-one fan with this sympathetic portrait, culled from Kendall’s personal archive of magazine articles (her chapter on Moss’ stint at the Priory hospital renders the incident practically heroic). Here, for the first time, is the shocking true story of the passion and pain hiding behind one of the most famous faces in the world’ ….A shocking true story! Well that’s original. Fabulous!
$18.95 http://www.amazon.com Publisher: Chamberlain Bros. (December 30, 2004)

Christmas is over so please! no more glitter and sequins. Hint: When you go through the sales look for any fifties skirts, pencils skirts, flat shoes,( see item du jour), statement bags and grab any shrunken fitted jackets that will take you through from winter to next summer. Buy up big on white tanks and singlets, and remember Floral is good, stripe is better and simple is best. And yes, you can keep your jeans, you must have a trench but look out for baggy chinos, they are the new jean..
Economy:
Witchery: have white straight cotton skirts $69, very handy, a trench coat $199 in cream, a blue lurex crochet caftan top $109, fab silver T bar heels with an ankle strap $139, and the copy of the square Balenciaga bag in stone ,dirty pink and black. There are flat T bar silver sandals $99 with a plaited front and the cream slouchey stud bag $139.There is a beige slinky straight skirt also in black $99.
Seduce: Not a lot in here but there is a green chiffon dress with a few beads and a raw edge $229 and I like the chloe style slinky salmon tops with white bead detail on the front $? And a blue Pucci style chiffon top $129.
Mollini: have a lot of animal print / snakeskin shoes which are a very snazzy way to razz up the black. Check out the snakeskin black and white T bar low heel $189, a sling back one $148 and an ankle strap serious heels with round toe $128. The snakeskin also in pink and green, bronze and silver, very groovy (for the young.) Also some cool flat T bar silver sandals $108.
Portmans: You can’t really be doing that horrid pink again for winter? Please check out the very good black/YSL teal blue velvet fitted/shrunken jacket (a huge size so buy small), it’s a great buy for $119!
Nine west: have some car coats in cotton $179 and a lot of shoes on sale…best new ones are the Mui Mui copy flat ones with tiny heel and white stitching $129 in pink and brown, and the high heel in fabric, a Japanese style print $139.
Cue: Have some a lot of things on sale but not a lot exciting except their YSL style ruffle chiffon tops $59.
Zu: have some cool sachi flat ballets shoes on sale $50 and the sachi Sergio Rossi esque mules now $70.
Supre: Have “Paris For President” T shirts $20 and a singlets for $10 and those cute black sequin slouch bags $20.
Giordano: Have little tight Polo shirts for $25 in all sorts of colours
Esprit; have a single breasted belted trench in red, black or pink $99 and singlet tops in every colour $9.99 and some scoop neck wide ones $24 and too much pink and black.
FCUK: not alot new and exciting in here but check out the huge range of jeans.

Business;
Bare: have a some cool little short caftan tops embroidered if you are still looking for one $125 in blue or pink.
David Jones: have the ‘Little Joe’ label and check out the camis with black lace trim $220 in caramel silk, also the Ted Baker off the shoulder groovy stripe knits $169. Plus checkout the new Coccinelle bags in caramel leather, a bit slouchey $585.
Country Road: looking good. A lot on sale. Best pieces are the stone grey trench belted DB in cotton $399, a fab steel silky ribbed cardigan with a V neck $119, white singlets $29, a long grey maille singlet Tank dress $75, a green cotton 50’s dress simple with pleats, and a cool racer back tank in red and white stripe with panels $49. Also check out the classic flat black boots, riding boot style $370. And those short caftan tops are all sale $99 and so are the Prada T bar sandals $69.
David Lawrence: there is 60% off in here but it is very conservative.
Midas: are on sale and I like the Beltrami Loafers .New in are the gold roman sandals $198. Cool
Max & Co : have 70 % off and there are quite a few bargains. Best pieces are the red and white stripe T shirts, a white peacoat ( dye it) $263, a black caftan top with jewels $100, a green and pink stripe top, very 70’s $206, a red and navy V neck jumper with a slight silver thread $58 and a cardigan is $100.
Mimco: have the big slouchey bag down pat and head here for summer hats on sale $29.
Zimmerman is on sale. Check out the swimwear and the new patchwork pieces such as a hippy dress $187 that is halterneck. Groovy

First :
Myer: The new imports shoes are here: Best ones are the Missoni shoes, gorgeous stripe satin heel pointy in pink and brown $600, also in slingbacks $550, the chocolate/black suede pointy boots with pattern trim $1150. There are Chloe round toe heels with chunky heel in brown $650, and flat chocolate ones with brass studs $650. Check out the Manolo Blahnik pink and red $1400 round toe and the choc brown heels $1130 and the black patent pointy toe with bow $1200 and I love the teal suede ankle strap heel with leather trim $1650.There are Emilio Pucci in fabric $800 with a round toe heel and the Givenchy ones are worth looking at too. Now can we talk about the marc Jacobs Moon boots in red nylon perfect for a Sydney winter ( not!) $350 and I love the marc gumboots in red $300 with a small stacked heel, plus the choc brown suede flat boots $1150 ooh yeh! And lots more. There is a big selection of DKNY winter in store, best pieces are the Prada style tweed dirty pink and brown frayed coat $999 plus gorgeous khaki wool pants $599. The Cacherel new range is in too: best pieces are very Sonia Rykiel looking, such as the black knit top with a stripe $399 and a black trench, belted with epaulettes $1149 and pretty floral cotton original 70’s shirts $249, gorgeous. Check out the See By Chloe winter collection : don’t buy the big puffa jacket in yellow unless you are going to the snow $999 and there are some cute T shirts $229 with Chloe on the front, a black jacket $800 and a fab coat in black and white tweed $1299.
Evelyn Miles; have lots of new shoes in check out the Missoni in red fabric $600 with a lurex knit detail, the Sergio Rossi blue and brown suede point heels $820, the plain black round toe $668, Sergio Rossi boots $1190 with a round toe, and Missoni boots with blue and black swirls $999. Also Evelyn Miles have their own label animal print heels $528 with a pointy heel .
Christensen Copenhagen :have a lot of new Paul & Joe: Best pieces are : the belted wool coat $1295 in a few colours, the gorgeous red belted trench $1295 ,the round neck knits in orange $550 and the trouser suit in black pinstripe the jacket $1295 and pants $420.
Bally: Are on sale and you must go in to buy the fab shoes, flat brown in fabric with a square toe $250 and the fab bags all around 30 to 50% off. Their new collection will be in next week .Can’t wait!

Shredded chicken with coriander and mint

This the perfect dinner on a hot summer’s night. Originally from Marie Claire, all you do is poach the chicken with lemon grass then shred it and then serve it with a bowl of coriander and mint and a drizzle of lime juice. Sensational

You need for 4
I bunch coriander
I cup bunch mint leaves
1 stick lemon grass roughly chopped and smashed
2 chicken breast fillets
1 cup of lime juice
2 teasp of sesame oil
2 teasp fish sauce
I small red chilli
2 tabs palm sugar or any other sugar
A couple of lime leaves optional
boiled rice to serve

·First things first : pour yourself a drink and sit down.All that picking of coriander and mint is very tiresome so make your self comfortable and get picking all leaves off and then set aside
·Smash, crush and roughly chop the lemon grass stick
·Heat water to boil, with lots of salt ,then throw in the lemon grass and the chicken breasts to poach for about 20 to 30 mins.
·Remember if you see pink (eeek) after you’ve given the chicken a stab to see if it’s cooked, it needs to go back in the water. …Please no more pink
·Remove the chicken when it’s finally done, throw away the water and let the breasts cool down and relax.
·While they chilling out, you can do too.
·In fact now is the time to pop on the rice
·Sit down again, put your footsies up and mix up the drizzle sauce (and a gin and tonic too ). Chop up the cute little red chilli ( Hot Hint: use a knife and fork and you won’t die and cry touching your eye) then
·Mix the lime juice, the fish sauce, the sesame oil and the sugar and chilli and perhaps a lime leaf if you feel like it ( Hot hint: use scissors to cut the leaves 3 at a time to get little thin strips)
·Better taste it to check it is absolutely delcious and add more juice and or chilli if you’re feeling hot
Now whipe your hands clean ,watch those manicured nails and attack the cool groovy chicken breasts and shred it all into strips ( Hot hint : think about an ex boyfriend and you can rip it shreds)
·We love a strip
·Now check the rice is cooked and let it cool a little
·Mix the chicken with the drizzle sauce and give it a good tossing to really get those flavours oozing through it all.
·Then throw in the mint leaves and coriander and give it another tossing ..yum
Serve the chicken mix on a chic little bowl of rice and watch as your fans drool over this taste sensation!

Alfie ……with Jude Law, and Sienna Miller directed by someone who should never make another movie.

Dumb. Stupid. Boring. Just a few of the words going through my mind watching, sorry, snoozing through this movie. Not even Jude and Sienna could keep me awake. Oh, Jude why did you do it? Next time if I need to see them together I’ll buy Hello magazine! This movie was so disappointing and so bad the tweenagers in the cinema weren’t even laughing. I sat there wishing I was watching The Motorcycle diaries again. A complete mess of a movie, it doesn’t even make sense. Jude, I am not angry just disappointed. Which can mean only one thing: it’s time to keep up The FiFi Report tradition and run the bad reviews for much better entertainment
“A remake that deserves to be put in a burlap sack and drowned like a litter of kittens.”PLANET SICK-BOY
“This ode to the joy of chain smoking would make a great cigarette infomercial if tobacco companies were still allowed to show such things.”STEVE RHODES’
“Law is unconvincing as a roué, the script is juvenile and the directing is bereft of inspiration. I was expecting something dreadful but it wasn’t that good. TONYMEDLEY.COM
“Alfie plays more like a Republican cautionary tale from the 80s warning against illegitimate parenting, abortion and diseases that infect your bits”
EFILMCRITIC.COM
“Easy to look at, but it has no depth, and before long its smart, bright images become unendurable, like a commercial for 1-800-FLOWERS stretched to feature length.” F5
“America’s first metro-sexual film, Alfie is an empty, barren, desolate, vacuous remake with none of the bite of the original.” HERO REALM

Us Vogue Jan: With J.Lo on the cover, it’s a thin issue full of thin people ( apart from J.Lo’s bottom) Read about J.Lo and her marriage “ I’m a girl, my natural inclination is to tell you the story” But she doesn’t. Damn. Drool over the Steven Meisel shoot on the new spring collections, looking very minimalist and do I see I see any horrid pink? A great big NO! Don’t read the piece on George Dubya and Laura because it will make your blood boil so go straight to the magic moments of fashion 2004 ( Sienna! Jude! Nicole!) Then read and weep about the tragedy of Darfur and be impressed that US Vogue doesn’t underestimate their readers.

US Harpers Bazaar Jan: Thin is definitely back for Jan issues and but at least curvy Scarlett Johanssen is on the cover. Read and laugh as she says “ people think I look sexy because I feel sexy, I am a very liberated person that way” (So liberated, you go girlfriend) Read about the trends for next summer : full skirts,baggy pants, jackets, white tanks and flat shoes. Peter Lindbergh does another story in the dessert ( he just copies himself) and I think I want to make Angela Missoni’s risotto with Zuchini flowers.

W Jan: I love this issue! It’s a must buy just to see the fashion shoot using elephants. No, I’m not talking about models who actually eat , I’m talking real, big, fat elephants wearing real Chanel, Helmut Lang, Balenciaga, marc Jacobs and Louis Vuitton! Shot by Bruce Weber, it’s a cute idea and will make you laugh. Bless. Then read about Julia Roberts (on the cover post pregnancy) interviewed from the hospital ‘ I am completely happy with my life , I love everything about it” Hormones talking? Maybe it’s just true. (No use lying around feeling depressed).

Travel & Leisure Jan: This issue is all about the world’s best: hotels resorts, lodges, Inns and safari camps and ttere are list and lists. There is a fab story on driving around the South of France and buying ceramics in Provence and the Camargue and an interesting piece on a new resort on the Caribbean Island of Canouan. Thin but chic. (The New Year’s resolution except for elephants)