“NEVER, ever point out your faults to anyone, Once you’ve wailed ‘Just look at my hideously fat thighs’, no one will be able to look at them again without hearing your voice.” Elizabeth Hurley wailing about her fat thighs.
‘Ever since I dated a woman, I know what it is to grab a curve, Skinny’s not right when the lights are low.’ Angelina Jolie NOT wailing about hideously fat thighs.
“ I’m 39,I’ve had a baby. And I’m very aware that I don’t feel at all confident running around and eating lunch in a bikini. I’m the first person to tie a sarong around my waist.” Liz Hurley wailing about being old and fat.
“Here lies a person who finally achieved her life’s goal: to lose weight” Isabelle Allende’s idea for her epitaph!
“That’s Anna Wintour, I feel like I should smile” Jessica Simpson trying to get on the cover of Vogue.
“Maybe if I get myself a supermodel girlfriend, take some drugs and spend a bit of time in prison I’ll get noticed,” drummer Adam Fleck wailing about the press ignoring the rest of Babyshambles in order to focus on Pete Doherty.
“ I only have human bones at home but that would have been weird so I used chicken bones instead.” Marilyn Manson in a John Galliano soldier’s jacket decorated with bones. He had to replace some of them after Dita Von Teese’s dog ate them. ( weird alright)
“I’m glad I got the partying out of my system when I was young, because now I’m so over it and I can focus on my career, I’ve had so much fun, and had a great life. I’ve accomplished everything that I wanted to accomplish and I think that when I have kids that’ll make me happier than I already am.” Paris Hilton is not happy.( her epitaph)
“ Paris Hilton has only 3 looks; the first is ‘ I look like I’m having sex , the second is I look like I’m having fun and the third is I look like I’m having fun having sex ” (well, she has accomplished all that she wanted to)
“Every day they say her 15 minutes is up, and every day you have to add another 15 minutes’ Fred Khalilian, who opened Club Paris with Paris Hilton ( time’s up)

Were you a little slow at getting into Prada last year to buy the item du jour of a jeweled brooch? Well, ne panickez pas! It’s always only a matter of time and then somebody does a fabulous cheap but chic rip off. So now you can nick into Country Road for their exceptional copy. Made from pretty coloured jewels sewn onto pieces of felt fabric a la Prada, you can grab handfuls of these brooches for only $19 each and thrash them for the season.

Jewell broochs $19 from Country Road

Need ideas for Mothers Day? (Print it out for husband/father/son)
Prada perfume $159 from Myer
Haigh’s chocolates from David Jones
Orchids in a stone tub from Papaya $155
Christian Liagre book from Leslie McKays bookstore $100
Mecca Cosmetica pedicure or manicure 60 min for $60
‘Costes’ red divine fragrant candles from Arida $110
Margart Throsby’s 10th anniversary 3 CD collection $49.95 from ABC shops
Ondene, the home wares store in Double Bay has divine camel or choc brown fringed cashmere throws for $990.

If you look in the mirror every morning and say “it’s official I have become my mother” just thank the lord you’re not saying “It’s official I’ve become my grandmother”. And thank the lord that you’ve discovered First Defense by Elizabeth Arden. I was so addicted to the eye cream I’ve got the moisteriser to match. This is super creamy, is antioxident cream and has sunscreen plus vitamin A and E. Lather it on and feel it sink in, (then buy some for your mother too).

$70 Elizabeth Arden First Defense Anti-Oxidant Cream SPF 15 from major department stores.

From UK Conde Nast Traveler’s 60 best new hotels: Check out the Karim Rashid designed 60’s inspired very modern Semiramis Hotel in Athens http://www.semiramisathens.com/rooms.asp,
In Aix en Provence stay at the old fashioned http://www.hotelpigonnet.com.
Love this groovy website of a groovy hotel outside Amsterdam owned by the art director of the hip design company Mooi http://www.lutesuites.com/index_en.html cool!
Check out the Cannes Film Festival on May 11 to 22 http://www.festival-cannes.fr/Madonna’s new documentary “Re-Invented Process” and about her recent tour, has been rejected by the Cannes Film Festival.
Stay in an old world villa on lake Garda. http://www.villafeltrinelli.com
Visit a fake tropical beach in the middle of Germany. It’s the Truman show! http://www.my-tropical-islands.com/engl/fotos-opening-e.htm. Or go to the biggest indoor park in the world found in Japan http://www.seagaia.co.jp/english/odr/od.html
“Barbarella” fans are sure to enjoy Pierre Cardin’s furniture. Celebrating some 40 years of his “Jetsons”-worthy designs, the couturier is showcasing about 150 pieces of his furniture in an exhibit at Concept 2 in Saint-Ouen on the outskirts of Paris, running through July. wwd
Marc Jacobs will use model Kristen McMenamy in his next ad campaign
Lancome has signed Daria Werbowy as its newest model.
The Costume Institute gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York pulled in celebrities from around the globe to attend the biggest party of the year: Selma Blair jetted in from Vancouver, Hayden Christensen came in from Italy and Jake Gyllenhaal even flew in from the Arctic. Elle Macpherson lifted the hem of her sea-foam Calvin Klein gown to reveal her secret to staying on her feet. “I’m wearing flip-flops,” she said. They all came to worship at the altar of Chanel.

http://www.re-title.com
This is “an international contemporary art listings guide and a directory of artists worldwide. It is for all innovative professionals working in contemporary visual art including artists, curators, and galleries.” Click on London, New York, Berlin, LA, or Chicago for in depth listings of exhibitions or just click anywhere on the map of the world…. Perfect for your next trip.

Pink is the New Blog http://trent.blogspot.com/
This is so fabulously good gossip how did we live without Pink is the new blog? It’s all here: shots of celebrities en masse: with cold sores, without makeup, with greasy hair and all the gossip to go with it. Readers just write in with all the latest; an anonymous writer says Jennifer Garner is pregnant “ I know a good friend of hers. Expect an announcement soon.” (Great friends; it must be awful being celebrity….)

Security guards at the African Hotel where Angelina and Brad were staying heard noises like those made by wild animals, or somebody being killed, coming from the direction of the Cliff Villa. They pounded on the door, guns drawn; the animal noises stopped, Brad Pitt appeared and told the guards: “Everything is cool, guys. You can leave–we’re okay.” Roar!
Brad Pitt has pulled out of “The Watchman,” set to start shooting later this year, to go on a bonding motorcycle trip around the country.
Angelina Jolie is taking motorbike lessons - so she can deliver food to the poor. A source from Red Dog Motorcycles, who sold the star her bike, says “She’s having lessons on land near her home in Buckinghamshire”. Roar
Brad Pitt and Angelina have now booked into another hotel , the Amanjena Hotel in Ouarzazate, where Pitt is shooting new movie Babel with Cate Blanchett.
Angelina Jolie is on the cover of the latest Vanity Fair and tells the magazine she played no part in the split of Brad n Jen. It’s all “absolute bulls**t”.
Read the scoop from WWD on all the gossip from Costume Institute Ball. Catalina Sandino Moreno was spotted hand-in-hand with Ian Somerhalder, formerly of the series “Lost,” and then deep in conversation with an attentive Jake Gyllenhaal, who had his arm snugly around her waist until 3 a.m. at Bungalow 8. Gyllenhaal had already seemingly exchanged numbers with model Daria Werbowy. Other potential hookups included a chummy Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber as well as Johnny Knoxville, who split from Jessica Simpson when a photographer neared. Upon David Lauren’s entrance, a cater waiter remarked, “What is Donny Osmond doing here?” . Jennifer Connelly had to introduce herself to Nicole Kidman in the ladies’ restroom. After announcing Renée Fleming’s performance, Kidman chatted with Sean “P. Diddy” Combs throughout the opera singer’s two songs. Katie Holmes stayed away because Nicole Kidman was co-chairwoman of the Chanel exhibit.
Cold-hearted skeptics continue to suspect the hookup of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is just to promote his “War of the Worlds” and her “Batman Begins.”
Jennifer Garner has sparked reports she’s pregnant with a bulging stomach.
Sofia Coppola and her cast and crew,of Marie Antoinette threw a party in Dave in Paris for star Kirsten Dunst’s 23rd birthday.
Cameron Diaz has laughed at reports she will marry lover Justin Timberlake this weekend in the South of France.

The History of Love: A Novel by Nicole Krauss

This is the hot book everyone is talking about, and how extraordinary that Nicole Krauss is married to Jonathan Safran Foer (who has written the other book everyone is talking about ‘Extremely loud and incredibly close’). It’s a story of a book within a book, about octogenarian Leo Gursky who is a WWII refugee in New York. “ What’s really missing in his life is the woman he has always loved, the son who doesn’t know that Leo is his father, and his lost novel, called The History of Love, which, unbeknownst to Leo, was published years ago in Chile under a different man’s name. Teenager Alma Singer, who was named after the heroine of The History of Love, is asked to translate The History of Love and the plot thickens… .
Publisher:W. W. Norton & Company (May 2, 2005) $16.29 http://www.amazon.com

The Christmas list:
How to Do It or The Lively Art of Entertaining by Elsa Maxwell
Want to give a party? Darling, the cocktail party is so over. Miss Maxwell shares her secrets to livening up your soiree, from scavenger hunts to tea parties in the afternoon. The party bible for hostesses who can’t stand another humdrum fete: How to Do It includes recipes (among others, dishes such as “Andalusian Gazpacho à la Joan Fontaine” and “Cole Porter’s Cherry Compote”), advice (Steer clear of bores. Really.), and trouble-shooting potential disasters (your guest is dominating the conversation? you’ll need to stop him now!). Don’t even contemplate entertaining without Miss Maxwell’s help. As relevant today as it was when it was originally published in 1956.
Publisher: Rizzoli (May 17, 2005) $17.16 http://www.amazon.com

Economy:
New Shop Alert!!: Sambag has opened a chic new store 181c Edgecliff Rd (Woollahra) with lots of goodies. Check out the cool faux snakeskin 40’s open toe heels $150, the ballets flats $150 in great colours, and the big oversized suede bags $240. You want the fab cashmere sweaters in gorgeous colours that are a great buy at $170 (CBC! ) also in kids sizes too. There are some cool little clutch bags $150 and some divine black crystal bracelets and earrings as well. FCUK: Have a black full 50’s skirt in cotton satine $180. Cue: check out the 100% wool rib knit polonecks in great colours $89. Country Road: I like the brown tweedy baggy pants $229 and the green or black pencil wool skirts with cute splits lined with satin $189. Wittner Shoes: have some very good cheap but chic Tod’s style leather loafers in black or cement $89 (selling out quickly), and some Zoe Wittner Pierre Hardy inspired black pointy toe flats with mesh/punched leather $119, and check out the Pocahontas mui mui inspired loafers in tan suede $79.Miss Shop: For budget shoppers check out the black textured wool thigh length princess coat (looks expensive) for $129. MNG: have lots of fab big oversized sunglasses so you can look like the Olsen sisters $40 and some cotton satine khaki cotton pants $59.99. Zu shoes: have a marc Jacobs style tan long boots with a round toe, chunky heel and 2 buckles on the side $200. Speedo: If you are still swimming or off to escape winter ( ahem) you need the chic simple black halter neck Tankini with silver buckle $59 or the red one piece halterneck and bare back $69.

Business: Now store alert!!! Please go straight to the fab new store Blood Orange just opened on Wednesday in Elizabeth Bay Road, Elizabeth Bay ( Sebel Townhouse spot). Check out labels such as the chic simple French APC, Claudie Pierlot, and Daryl K, plus Australian labels like Lover and Estate red label. Best pieces are APC: the grey maille T shirt with gathered neck and sleeves $155, the black pencil skirt with buttons down the front (must have) $238, the black cotton pea coat, the denim trousers $275 and the black net cap sleeve T $210. From Claudie Pierlot buy the Santa Fe print cotton skirt $275, and the V neck knit sweaters $265. There are fab Daryl K jeans $315, cool tie front mint jersey tops $255 and some cool Cohen & Sabine cute chiffon blouses $370 and check out the groovy label Lyle by an Australian in New York. Karen Millen: has a tan leather fitted blazer $1195 and a plain black wool belted princess coat, very narrow $$. Ralph Lauren has a chunky knit camisole $189, a black wool rib poloneck $250, a cream chunky arglye knit polo $249. Bettina Liano: check out the big navy oversized peasant tops in muslin $265, and the cotton military zip front jacket with a ruffle down the front $195 and buy the black velvet cuffed shirts if you’ve got the legs $195. Trent Resort has a chic wool melton peacoat, you could almost wear it now with a stripe T under it $329 from David Jones.Saba: Love the tan leather fitted blazer $795.Zimmerman: Check out the grey V neck sweater with a matching scarf $154, also in light blue, the cool peacoat, $670, a jersey wrap dress $213 and a pinstripe princess coat $790, belted. A/X exchange: Best buys are the red distressed leather satchel with white stitching $189, the short camel trench $319 and there are a few things on sale, worth a rummage. Winter collection is arriving any minute. Marcs: have a sale, buy the handy knit tops now $39, the pink chiffon blouse $220, and the black chiffon empire top with sequins $199. Myer; Love the Agnes B chunky cable cream rib polo neck, slim fit and short $399.Also check out the Nicola Finetti NF label; cute shell tops with lots of beading chiffon $325. And check out the Armani jeans l/s T shirts $100 and the red zip through sweater ( like a cycling sweater) $379.

First:
Fashion Alert!! Arida in Potts Point now has spring summer Proenza Schoeler, marc by marc Jacobs plus John Rocha. You want the Marc orange patent pointy flats with orange bow $520, the divine rope espadrilles in oranges and reds $315 and the cute Kenzo round toe flats in black or blush $435. Check out the Marc white broderie dress $795, the Marc white peasant skirt $535, the green stripe tank $240 and the geometric print satin cami $425. The Fedeli cashmere is here too and it’s gorgeous. You want the divine v neck sweaters in gelato colours $630 to $750, the stripe knits $830 and the pretty print cotton shirt, very Cacherel $635.There is some fab Ecletica shirts $119 and John Rocha white T’s with cotton sleeves $635. Not a lot left of the Proenza Schoeler and there are none of the signature bustiers or dresses but best pieces are the scenic print skirts $1200 and the beige linen tulip skirt $995 and jacket $1490.
Zambesi in Double Bay has the new Martin Margiela winter. Check out the big, thick, navy oversized peacoat $1200, a black and white punked up Chanel tweed jacket $2000, and a black net knit T $200. Buy the mattress print? satin skirt $$ and invest lots of purple gathered neck T shirts $300 plus lots of black pants. Myer: love the Stella McCartney black satin heels, almost like a boots with ankle strap and lacing up the ankle $1100 and of course the Chloe tan 40’s ankle strap heels with brass studs $800.

Bitter chocolate Almond Torte
Sometimes you just want to kill your mother. Now it’s Mothers day here’s your chance! Serve her this version of death by chocolate cake. From The River café Cookbook ( and then plundered by Jamie Oliver) it’s outrageously fabulous. All you do is whiz up a block of dark cooking chocolate and almonds, then mix it with eggs butter and sugar…oh and then cook it.

You need for 8 to 10

225g of dark cooking chocolate
225g of caster sugar
225g of blanched whole almonds
225g of unsalted butter
4 large eggs (6 little ones)
Some strawberries, King Island yoghurt and icing sugar to serve

·Preheat oven to 150
·Moisterise a big cake tin and maybe line it with baking paper
·Whizz up the chocolate by breaking it into bits. Yes you can nick a bit to nibble.
·Empty it into a bowl then whiz the almonds. Leave a bit chunky if you like it crunchy
·Cream the butter and sugar till it’s creamy and gorgeous like creme de la Mer
·Fold in the almonds and chocolate and mix it well
·Separate the egg yolks and whites
·Add egg yolks one by one to the mix
Beat the egg whites till peaks form and it’s as stiff as your black Amex ( and bill)
·Fold it slowly into the almond chocolate mix
·Don’t worry if it looks dry but never fear you are about to give some conditioner
·Yes, add the egg whites and you’ll see it becomes nice and gooey.
·Pour into the cake tin and pop in the oven
·Lick the bowl and the beaters and your fingers convince yourself that the diet will start tomorrow
·It will not rise much but it should be cooked after about 45 minutes or when it springs back when you poke it ( like your stomach)
·Serve it with a chopped up strawberries scattered on top, a sprinkling of icing sugar and some marscepone, cream or yoghurt
Your mother will die of happiness (and so will everyone else)

In Good Company
The Plot: A chick’s flick about blokes. 50 year old Dennis Quaid has 2 teenage daughters, his forty something wife announces she’s pregnant and then he is demoted and finds his new boss is a 26 yr old hottie who falls for his daughter. Good dialogue, boring plot. A pup eat dog story.
Who: Dennis Quaid, Scarlett Johansson and Topher Grace and that woman from CSI.
Acting: average but Topher Grace is quite good.
Interiors: didn’t notice them (non de la non).
Arty angles: non de la non.
Designer inspiration: None (gasp!).
Salon de Beaute: Scarlett’s lips look huge with lashings of red lipgloss
Blood’n’ guts: no but a blokey game of basketball makes me want to have a nap.
Car chases: No, but a shiny new Porche gets a huge plug and the camera lingers on it like a babe in a centerfold. It’s car. Snore.
Smooches: one or two.
Smokin’ smooches: nope (snoring).
When Harry met Sally romance Richter scale: medium
Botox to combat laugh lines? ¼ a shot will suffice.
Waterproof mascara? Only to look good in the dark
See it or donate to the Prada bag fund? Prada bag is looking good.