“Lotsa was by far the richest man in the country. He had everything that money could buy, But there was a teeny, tiny problem. No matter how much money Lotsa de Casha made, he wasn’t happy.” The opening line of Madonna’s latest children’s book.
“ Her favorite designers are Dolce & Gabbana, Miu Miu and Prada. She lives in my closet.” Madonna on her daughter ( Yes money does buy Prada and happiness! )
“Everyone’s so good-looking, I feel … I feel fat, you know?” Adam Brody at the Mr and Mrs Smith premiere
“I bet she’s going to put me in something really frumpy - and with flat shoes.” Posh on being Liz Hurley bridesmaid
“If he wants to see Chicago, I’ve left him two tickets - one adult, one child.” Brooke Shields put down to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
“I want to say something really witty, but I’m so drunk I don’t know what to say! And I’ve got to present an award later in the evening, oh shit! GLAMOUR’s Film Actress of the Year, Sophie Okonedo
“ I’ve never won anything in my 22-year career. Not for TV, not for films and not for modelling,” Elle Macpherson on winning Glamour’s entrepreneur of the year ( too drunk to realize that good actresses are the ones who win awards)
“I can’t afford to have bands who won’t pull the crowds, this is a political event, not a cultural one” Bob Geldorf on the Spice Girls NOT reuniting for Live 8.
“ Do you want me to smile or not, Mr. Dick?” model Iman remembering her first shoot with Richard Avedon at the CFDA awards
“I know you just arrived here from Africa. You can call me Mr. Avedon, Richard or Dick, but never Mr. Dick.” His reply.
“Feel free to call me Mr. Dick anytime,” David Bowie, who took the stage immediately after her
Sra-owski, Swo-ki-skeee,” Combs blunders at 2005 CFDA Fashion Awards trying to say Swarovski ( too much money to know how to read ).

When I go away for the weekend or simply leave the house I pack as if Armageddon is about to happen. Imagine if it was the end of world and I didn’t have the latest American Vogue, lip gloss, ipod, moisturizer, mobile (charger for both) or a spare pair of shoes at hand. Now, that would be a meltdown. But how to carry everything everywhere for that sense of security and still look fabulous? Hire a personal assistant or nick into Borders Books for the fabulous Paperchase ‘Mag Bags’. In all sorts of cool and colourful swirl prints, stripes or spots, they come in cotton, look very Cacherel and even have matching little zip purses or pencil cases to match. All for the fabulous price of $14 for the bags and around $10 for the purse.

$14 Mag Bags from Borders Books.

If you invest in anything during the sales make sure you buy a chiffon blouse: it’s the new knit and is so much groovier. ‘UK Vogue’s editor, Alexandra Shulman, has a short and sharp wish list for next winter 06 “If you only make four purchases, make sure you get a pencil skirt, a little black jacket, a patent leather accessory (perhaps a clutch bag or a wide belt in a bright colour), and a chiffon blouse,”. A blouse looks pretty with jeans, will razz up your black, boring, work suit, will look sexy with a pencil skirt (Secretary anyone?), is just perfect for warm winter days and will take you into next summer. Best of all they don’t cling to your bootylicious figure like knits do so you can hide that lovely ‘muffin top’ of yours under the flowing chiffon and no one will ever know. Head to Prada and Marc Jacobs of course, but also check out Scanlan & Theodore , Max & Co, Saba, Morrissey, Cue has some cute ones, and so does Esprit and Country Road.

I must admit it’s very difficult to take off my makeup. What you find under there can be scary. So I feel it’s best to remove it all in the dark. That way you sleep well at night and not have any nightmares. The best make up remover to use in the dark is the fabulous Clinique Rinse Off Foaming Cleanser. It leaves the skin feeling really clean and soft rather than stripped and as hard as the new Chloe bag. And because you can’t read the instructions in the dark, they have made it easy for you by calling it ‘foaming rinse off cleanser’. Incredible.

$38 Clinique Rinse Off Foaming Cleanser from David Jones.

http://www.venere.com
Here is a great hotel reservation website that is cleanly designed and is very easy to use. Click on the map of where you want go and you’ll find all the hotels ( in 2 clicks) ranked from no star to 5 star.. As a test I chose the lovely town of Juan Les Pins in the South of France and I was relieved to see the Hotel Du Cap Eden-Roc is there (though it’s not bookable online). Plus all the hotels are rated by other travelers so you can see which is the best…

http://www.montypythonsspamalot.com
See what all the fuss is about and laugh at this clever website of the Broadway musical that is winning all the awards, Spamalot. Click on ‘Spamalot from the beginning’ and read Eric Idle’s funny little diary…

Nicole Kidman is on the cover of the July issue of Vanity Fair.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are playing house as husband and wife once again - this time for a 60-page magazine spread. http://www.style.com/w/ And the publication’s creative director, Dennis Freedman, says bosses loved the photographs so much, they decided to publish an unprecedented 60-page spread, which includes just two pages of text. Nuf said.
Demi and Ashton have laughed off reports they married in Florida on Saturday.
Marc Anthony gave J.LO a $1 million engagement ring.
Scarlett Johansson and Josh Hartnett are the new Hollywood couple.
Macaulay Culkin Pleads Guilty To Drug-Possession Charges.
Model Karen Elson has married to White Stripes frontman Jack White in a secret ceremony in Brazil.( so secret).
The hotel clerk who was the target of Russell Crowe’s early morning rage has confessed he was so terrified of the ranting Gladiator star, he hid in an office.
John Galliano was a no-show at Council of Fashion Designers of America Awards - but rumours of a botched plastic surgery procedure simply aren’t true, “John sustained minor injuries at home when a new glass shower door shattered,” Yes sure….
Katie Holmes has prompted rumors she and Tom Cruise are planning to marry -after refusing to rule out a wedding (‘I refuse to rule out a wedding’ she said!)
Ashlee Simpson has denied accusations she threatened to attack Lindsay Lohan because the she refused to let her into her party.
ANNA WINTOUR is in Barbados for the wedding of Jemma Kidd and Arthur Mornington. US Vogue is planning to feature their wedding later in the year.
Models Kate Moss and Daria Werbowy were seen emerging from the ‘loo at Bunglaow 8 together in a fit of giggles and then dancing and getting cozy with Johnny Knoxville. ( fit of giggles can only mean one thing: something made them laugh)..
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are not having an affair this week.
Jennifer Aniston is not studying Buddhism.
Elle Macpherson is launching a make-up and skincare range, The Body.
Kelly Osbourne has checked herself back into rehab.

Holy Skirts by Rene Steinke
Every magazine I’ve read has given this book rave reviews…” This is a lively, sympathetic fictionalized account of the true adventures of Baroness Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven, a poet, artist’s model and friend of Marcel Duchamp whose irrepressible life bordered on the fashionably sordid. Fleeing her home at age 19 for the liberation—and poverty—of Berlin circa 1904. Three husbands determine the direction of her life: the first, August, is an effete, hashish-smoking architect; the second, his best friend, Franz, is a charming, tortured poet and con man who brings Elsa to New York only to desert her; and the last is a German baron who gambles away his fortune and abandons her as well. Yet Elsa is an intrepid heroine who continually rises from her own ashes, muscling her way into artists’ parties with bon mots and conversation-stopping “self-apparel pieces.” Fantastic: don’t we all love self apparel pieces?
$16 http://www.amazon.com Publisher: William Morrow; (March 1, 2005)

The Christmas List:
London; Birth of a Cult by Hedi Slimane
Dior Homme fashion designer Hedi Slimane, whose first two books of photography depicted desolate Berlin parks, tangles of speaker cable and grimy stairwells, has tackled a much more complex, slippery and alive subject for his third: Pete Doherty. In fact, Slimane got so accustomed to the train-wreck antics of the 25-year-old rock deity — anointed “Junkie Pete” by London’s tabloids — that he simply shrugged when asked about all the canceled gigs and the controversy forever swirling around the Babyshambles frontman, from his arrests and rehab to his romantic links to model Kate Moss. Slimane collaborated with Doherty for two years on his stage costumes and in that time has built up an extensive photographic archive of the musician for this book. WWD
£15.00 Publisher: Steidl (July 2005) http://www.amazon.co.uk

Economy:
The Frock Exchange: there are a lot of great pieces here. If you are a size 36 you can have the choice of 2 Chanel jackets: one in red tweed and one in black around $800, there is a very chic Ursula Beaugeste red canvas denim bag, looks new $270, a white leather Jil Sander bowling bag $$, a Burberry trench but from the 80’s with big sleeves $800, Marni tan shoes, and heaps of black suits and a couple of very cute tweed Miu Miu princess coats for about $400. FCUK: Sale: the chic, dark grey wool trousers are now on sale for $89, there are T shirts for $19, big knit ponchos for $29, a straight denim skirt $49 and a cute dark grey wool flippy skirt is $69.99. Check out the black fitted summer shoesstring strap dress, a bit Proenza Sheuoler $69 and there is a lot of knits $49. And is that cord shrunken jackets I see for miles on sale?.
Esprit has 40% off: check out the denim cord A line skirts $47, the new A line brown wool skirt in tweed $89, a handy V neck rib cardigan in choc or black $89 and the baggy pants in black and white tweed $129.Nine West …sale: Buy the Helmut Lang style open toe wedge with an ankle strap in black, brown or red $89, the green moc croc sandals with heel and ankle strap, $89, and the patchwork wedges in purples and green $89. Also check out the satin YSL copies (yes, I said it: copy) with lacing up the leg $99.Witchery: I see lots of that dirty pink rearing its ugly head everywhere here. Check out the new silver slouch glomesh bag $129, the moc croc pointy heels $139 and the burgundy chiffon paisley blouse $119. Sportsgirl: Sale here too; Buy the velvet cords in every colour $59, the cute little slouchy T shirts $19, the shoes are worth buying for $69. Check out the Sergio Rossi copy tan, open toe, heels ( also in green). There is the Marc Jacobs style cotton military jackets with brass buttons ( big for next summer) $129 and there is a cool new, black jersey top with clear and black beads as the halter $139. Hint: it can look very Mary Kate Olsen in here; read bag lady goes hippy. Mollini: have some cool wedge, ankle strap, heels, a bit 40’s $128 in moc croc or animal print, check out the wedges in choc brown $128 and the funky metallic wedges are cool too $168. Plus there is a good range of flats as well.

Business
Theodora & Martha: Has a few new Cacherel piece just arrived; Check out the big rose print coat in red and blues $1350, the cute little green cotton peasant top $450, the stripe cotton empire top with wide straps $250, and the lovely aqua and brown summer shift dress with mesh insert $1390.There is a drape, brown top with brown wooden beads along neckline $450 and a leather dress with shoe string straps $1350 with appliqué flowers, and don’t forget the fab stripe cotton 50’s skirt $420, There is also a cute Jill Stuart blouse $650. CK Jeans: there is 50% off here. Check out the nylon puffa jackets $249 if you are going somewhere cold, and the zip front hoodies are cool in black grey or cream $89.There is a handy black chiffon blouse $129,black short sleeve knit tanks $50, and the kids clothes are reduced and look so cute. There is a cream zip through knit top in red and grey $129 and a zip through leather bomber now $399 and you will find jeans there from $99.Country Road: It’s still 30% off everything: Not a lot new to report but buy the handy flat boots, the simple knits, and any dresses and chiffon blouses, plus I do like the stone cotton cropped peacoat $199 and the scoop neck long sleeve T shirts in all colours $69. in home wares there are lovely dark brown wooden, square, glass, outdoor lanterns that are so simple and chic you must have them for $15 each. David Jones: Check out the Boss by Hugo Boss on sale: there is a animal leopard trench $1199, the camel cotton straight skirt is $229, and the Smedley is all reduced and I love the polonecks with buttons along the arms $199. Also there is 50 to 60% off the divine Strenesse label: Yes, it’s all black sooo right for next winter. Check out the gorgeous chiffon bustier $264, the jersey slinky top with a beading is now $89, ( no typos) a black flippy jersey skirt $299, a belted black light wool trench now $1000 from $2000. A B & W tweed coat is now $649 and buy the fabulous racy black wool zip hoodie with a red stripe up the front $229 ( heaper than Witchery and ten times the quality: sorry Witchery ).The cream cashmere knit tank is $249. Plus the new collection of DVF wrap dresses and tops has arrived.

First:
Gucci sale is on! : Shoes, bags, and clothes with 30% off. Get in there for the bags from around $500 and the belts from $300. Cosmo shoes; It’s back to back shoe heaven here. They always have sale shelves so check out the YSL loafers in great colours $400, YSL brown suede flats $400, T bar Rossi on sale for $300, and there is 50 % off boots. In the new collections buy the D&G 40’s black patent heels $900, 20’s style heels in choc brown $800 also in burgundy sling back $900. The Sergio Rossi bronze, gold sequin pumps $1050, the T bar heels $1000, the gorgeous round toe pumps with a Gucci style horsebit detail also in sling back $800, and the peach camel heels $950. Check out the D& G floral cute aqua sling backs $740, the Rene Caovilla camel sling backs $1250, and the Missoni tweed round toe pumps $900 in burgundy with rope detail. And buy the Missoni print silk round toe heels with a big leather bow $700 plus other versions in pink print silk. Fabulous. There are YSL ankle strap choc brown leather heels $1450 also some gorgeous satin ones in different colours $750. There are Jimmy Choo bags in all sorts of colours: lime yellow, tan with over stitching, green and red. All gorgeous and all about $2000. Buy them all. Also the Jimmy Choo heels are chic: you want the plain open toe heels $900 and the red print very Florence Broadhurst style print heels $$
Max Mara: love the 30% off sale here; it’s all great quality and great classics to invest in; You want the brown chiffon blouse $425, the simple, long sleeve red T $140 (yes, correct price), the red, velvet blazer $499, the beautiful oatmeal, weekend knit $329, a choc brown knit round neck with leather trim and belt $460, and a black jersey T shirt with gathered shorsleeves $330.There is a snazzy very Balenciaga gladiator style zip jersey top $435, a dark navy velvet jacket $740. a red zip through cable knit cardi $399, and a pashmina $255 in camels. Buy the brown cable knit sweater $250 and the 50% off pink chiffon blouse now $400, and the fab dark grey wrap flip skirt for only $249 (cheaper than Witchery and ten times the quality; sorry Witches).
David Jones: There is 50% off Armani Collezione: buy the black, wool coat for $699 from $2285, the beaded black shift dress now $849 from $2794, a Hugo Boss embroidered evening opera coat is now $1699 from $3495.There is 50% off Burberry: check out the gorgeous black, crop jacket $899 from $1795, the too chic, dark grey wool, pencil skirt with a high waist and a leather belt ( you need this skirt) now $449, the Burberry trench is new at $2299. Check out the fab classic black pants 60% off. There is Escada on sale but can someone tell me who actually buys that? On sale or for full price. Daggy with a capital D. Check out the Moschino ‘cheap but cheap’ black classic pants now $439, and a pretty floral dress in chiffon $449. Plus there is a lot of new season Paul Smith and Hugo Boss to be reviewed next week ( too busy with the sale!). Bally: have some fabulous clothes in store and you must have the divine black wool peacoat $1800 and the black trench $1700 plus there are also some tanks in red, black or white with graphics across the front $175

TORTA DI POLENTA AND LIMONE from The River Cafe cookbook

This is my favourite cake in the world and is outrageously delicious. It feeds a dinner party of 10 easily and is a serious crowd pleaser (scientific tests have proved it). The secret is using polenta instead of flour to give it a crunchy texture, and the lemon gives a zingy taste…

You need
450 unsalted butter
450g caster suger
450 almonds (or mixed nuts)
2 teasp vanilla essence
6 eggs
4 lemons
225 polenta coarse (not soft)
11/2 teasp baking powder

·preheat oven to about 160
·Moisterise a big cake tin with lots of butter
·Whizz the almonds or nuts till they’re ground to half the size then take about a handful out (to sprinkle on later before cooking) then whizz them again till the nuts are finely ground. Hint: a few chunks of nuts are good.
·Zest 4 lemons and juice a couple of them.
·If you’ve got some preserved lemon, cut up a quarter very finely.
·Beat the butter with the sugar in a bowl till creamy and pale (then lick the beaters).
·Stir in the nuts gently with a wooden spoon so it doesn’t hurt them and add the vanilla essence.
·Now beat the eggs in one at a time
·Get the wooden spoon and fold the zest,lemon juice and preserved lemon too.
·Add the polenta and the baking powder and do more folding ( as you do with your all cashmere sweaters) so that it’s all mixed
·Do a taste test and lick the spoon again ( those calories don’t count).
·Pour into the cake tin, smooth over and sprinkle the extra handful of nuts nonchalantly over the top.
·Pop in the oven for about 1hr and 10 mins, or till it’s a gorgeous light brown on the top (the colour of an Hermes Kelly) and it bounces when you touch it. (like Lindsay Lohan).
·Hint: it’s fine if the cake is a bit under cooked….it makes it gooey and moist
·Hint: When it’s still hot and straight out of the oven, squeeze some lemon or lime juice over it, let a dollop of butter melt on top of it (to kill everyone) and then sprinkle over some icing sugar.
·Serve this and you will never look back….book deals, movie deals, invitations to every cool party and front row seats will suddenly appear…You’re worth it.

We Don’t Live Here Anymore… directed by John Curran, who made “Praise,” in 1998

The Plot: 2 Arty literary couples. Couple #1 is neat clean and tidy. Couple #2 is messy, and disorganized. Husband #2 falls for the wife #1. Wife #2 has fling with husband #1. They all scream and shout at each other. Have sex in crazy places. Against the wall, against a tree, against each other. Sex, love, betrayal and alot of deep and meaningful talk makes for chick flick heaven!
Who: Naomi Watts, Mark Ruffalo, Laura Dern and Peter Krause
Acting: Naomi is fabulous, Mark is great to look at, Laura is excellent. Peter could do better.
Interiors: big, arty, suburban houses where a university writing professor might live. Peeling walls, floorboards and cool black and white shots on the wall. They don’t live there any more but I could.
Designer inspiration: a bit marc Jacobs, a bit Target. A bit of a worry.
Salon de Beaute: can we talk about Laura’s hair? What is it with that perm? Was it supposed to reflect her permed frizzy character? Mark doesn’t shave and looks sexy, and Naomi is chic.
Blood’n’ guts: Well, it is an anatomy of adultery so, of course, there is going to be bloodnguts even if it is just only metaphysically speaking.
Car chases: no, but Mark rides a push bike and there are car wrecks of relationships everywhere..
Smooches: every seond scene ( it’s a chick flick)
Smokin’ smooches: man, it’s on fire! Scorching! Call 000
Botox: lies, cheating and adultery = botox. It makes for a lot of wrinkles.
Number of times the F word is used: lost count (then take the o out of count and you have the other word used too. oooh)
When Harry met Sally romance Richter scale: It’s goes up then plummets right down again.
See it or donate to the Prada bag fund? This movie is just like next season: it’s all about layer upon on layer. See it and love it. ( and any woman who has a glass of wine instead of doing the housework gets my vote).