“ The two who got slapped have one thing in common - they play hip-wiggling tarts with loosey-goosey morals. Emmy voters may be regarded as typical Hollywood hedonists, but, in fact, they’re older TV industry veterans who can often act like prudish snobs” US awards buff Tom O’Neil says Eva Longoria and Nicolette Sheridan were snubbed by Emmy Awards judges because they play loose women on Desperate Housewives.
“I’ve been a porn actress for three years and Jared was the most I ever had to work with, There’s definitely a second career available for him if he ever runs out of mainstream work.” Corina Taylor, the X-rated star tells how she got cozy with Jared Leto on his tour bus. ( loosey goosey)
“I could do this breakfast, lunch and dinner.” Colin Farrel reportedly says in his sex tape (his second career has taken off).
“I wasn’t ashamed to be out there like that, I thought my boobs looked good - at least I had that going for me.” Cameron Diaz in court talking about her topless shots (but will she win an Emmy?).
“ If my boobs fall down to the floor and it all starts sagging and is hideous and gross and I shouldn’t be in front of a camera, I love producing and I’d love to direct. So I’ll just go behind the camera.” Drew Barrymore’s second career.
“All those bum shots? They’re not mine. They’re other girls. That’s not my bum, I promise. Bring in the implants, girls.” Joss Stone on her second career in Gap ads.
“My best dating tip - pretend to be a good listener. Express an interest in movies like Mystic Pizza Steel Magnolias and Ghost” Owen Wilson pretends he isn’t just after hip-wiggling tarts with loosey-goosey morals
“They wanted me to do nudity - but I said no. I wore my lingerie. I won’t do it, “Paris Hilton about her first career as an actor .
“I never saw it. I couldn’t bear” Paris Hilton on her video as a hip-wiggling tart with loosey-goosey morals.
Katie Holmes is an anagram of “Tom Likes A He”.

Emergencies can happen any time day or night. You know the scenario: you look in the mirror (shriek) and you know something is missing: makeup. Trying to calm your hysteria you realise the shops are closed and you are stuck at home. Relax! Shopping is only a keyboard away. Log onto Fresh, which ‘has the largest range of beauty products, fragrances and cosmetics at heavily discounted prices and free shipping (and free gift wrapping) to anywhere in the world.’ Buy Lancomé Juicy Tubes for $29 instead of $40 and Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizer for $51 instead of $62, plus all sorts of goodies from makeup to fragrance. If you know what you want and just want to replenish your makeup cupboard order now. The only place you’ll have to go is the letterbox.

Fresh Fragrances and Cosmetics

I can’t help noticing something is happening with celebrities; they all seem to be getting smaller but their sunglasses are getting bigger. (Exhibit A: Nicole Ritchie). BIG oversized sunglasses are hot and such a nice change from al those wire frames. Go to Prada for their fabulous square ones $250, Gucci for big black versions $300 or to Chanel for fab tortoiseshell ones for $450. There are big black square ones by Versus at Sunglasses Hut $219, Tsubi have a cool black ones $210 and don’t forget the Linda Farrow and Marni sunglasses at Belinda. For cheap but chic go to Portmans who have ombre versions for $29 and Sportgirl have all sorts for $29. The rule of thumb? Make sure your sunglasses are bigger than anything you eat and you’ll always look fabulous.

There is one problem with cleanser; it means you have to take off your makeup. Scary. So just make sure you do this at home, alone. This week I have discovered the fabulous Olay Total Effects cleanser. It has tiny little exfoliating beads which really seem to cleanse the skin, and I am amazed how soft, clean and sparkling it feels. Plus this cleanser comes in a tube so you can throw it easily in your Hermes tote for those weekends away. Even better it is supposed to help fight the multiples signs of aging - caused by all that frowning when you see yourself with out makeup.

$13.95 Olay Total Effects Cleanser from major department stores.

For all the groovy hotels of the world go to http://www.designhotels.com/ and check out the Hotel Ev, Bodrum in Turkey, very chic.
Go to http://parrotcay.como.bz/ it’s where Jen and Ben were married.
This Island in Fiji is owned and operated by the same people who have Huka Lodge in New Zealand, http://www.dolphinislandfiji.co.nz (daggy photography, gorgeous beach).
Another Island to stay on (thanks to CNT magazine); head to Stromboli off the coast of Italy and stay at this cute place http://www.lasirenetta.it/
Into extreme sports? Stay at the Extreme Hotel in the Dominican Republic http://www.extremehotels.com
Off to Martinique? Head to http://www.capest.com
Checkout this cute little cheap but chic hotel in Hydra in the Greek Islands http://www.bratsera.com/
‘Just a week after showing his haute couture collection in Paris, Valentino was awarded with the prestigious Chevalier de la Legion d’Honneur. Valentino has been showing his ready-to-wear collections in Paris for 31 years and his couture collection for 20 years.
Tommy Hilfiger is opening a sprawling complex in Milan with an event space, a showroom and a flagship, the brand’s first in Milan.
Last week marked the soft opening of a 5,576-square-foot Calvin Klein flagship in Milan .WWD
Gwyneth Paltrow will be in the film version of the late George Plimpton’s book, “Truman Capote: In Which Various Friends, Enemies, Acquaintances and Detractors Recall His Turbulent Career.”. The flick is titled “Have You Heard?” The script will focus on those figures of his era, who meant the world and all to Truman and who, in turn, found him absolutely delicious. That is, until he stupidly and arrogantly fell from grace by being a big blabbermouth. Nobody was more important than what he called his “Swans,” fashion immortals such as Babe Paley, Gloria Guinness and Slim Keith. Sigourney Weaver will play Babe, Isabella Rossellini will play Gloria and Hope Davis will portray Slim Keith. Sandra Bullock will also have a role, playing “To Kill a Mockingbird” author Harper Lee, WWD
A movie is being made of the cult novel “ The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things’by J. T. Leroy, directed by and staring Asia Argento.

http://www.davidlachapelle.com/
Check out photographer David lachapelle’s website and see all his music videos Gwen! Britney! Christina and then click to see his promos for Desperate Housewives and Lost…wow.

http://www.knight-foundation.com/index.html
The David Hasselhoff cult just continues to grow…this one is hilarious
‘HI HOFF FANS! We all know David Hasselhoff is a living legend.
No other man has done so much for big chest hair and smooth chatup lines.
David Hasselhoff is a god. Not only a magnificent actor/singer, but also an incredible maker of television & film.
Every woman desires him. Every man aspires to his hairy manliness.
Want to impress your friends? Printout and make the exclusive David Hasselhoff paper airplane!

Sienna Miller has been hiding out in a country house in England while Jude Law begs for forgiveness for his affair. One day after she cancelled her stage performance a smiling Sienna was back at work and showing off her left hand, which no longer bears an engagement ring.
Sandra Bullock married Jesse James.
Zach Braff has split from Mandy Moore.
Pamela Anderson is reportedly getting married to Tommy Lee this week - for the third time. But on her online diary she says it’s not true.(loosey goosey website) http://www.pamelaanderson.com/portal/journal/journal.asp
Hugh Grant and Jemima Khan have not been seen together publicly since Elton John’s white tie-and-tiara party last month, at which Grant flirted with Liz Hurley and she responded by sucking his fingers.
Jake Gyllenhaal and Kirsten Dunst have fled to New York to escape the paparazzi .
Al Pacino, 65, is said to be romancing “Charmed” actress Rose McGowan, 31.
Colin Farrell is suing a woman for trying to distribute and profit from a sex tape he says the two made with the agreement it would never be made public.
Scarlett Johansson has been enjoying secret meetings with ex boyfriend Jared Leto.( glad to see she’s been enjoying it).
Kate Moss and her Babyshambolic man have recorded a duet of the Eighties hit, I Touch Myself, by the Divinyls
Britney has cut all her hair off…
David Beckham shaved his armpits.
Black Eyes Peas singer FERGIE and JOSH DUHAMEL are reportedly engaged after a whirlwind romance. Oh, no,” Fergie “No, no, no — I’m not engaged.”
Go here to check out Princess Caroline’s gorgeous sons.. http://www.hellomagazine.com/royalty/2005/07/19/monacochildren/
Go here to see Demi in the latest Versace campaign http://www.hellomagazine.com/fashion/2005/06/27/versace/
Or here to see the shots of Madonna from US Vogue
http://www.vogue.co.uk/vogue_daily/story/story.asp?stid=27640

Everything Is Illuminated: A Novel by Jonathan Safran Foer
Everyone is talking about Jonathan Safran Foer’s latest novel Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (The FiFi Report #83) but you should start with his first book, Everything Is Illuminated: A Novel. Why? Because the movie is coming out in September with Elijah Wood and isn’t it always best to read the book before the movie? This book has won all sorts of awards and The Times says it’s ‘a work of Genius’. “With only a yellowing photograph in hand, a young man - also named Jonathan Safran Foer - sets out to find the woman who might or might not have saved his grandfather from the Nazis. Accompanied by an old man haunted by memories of the war, an amorous dog named Sammy Davis, Junior, Junior, and the unforgettable Alex, a young Ukrainian translator who speaks in a sublimely butchered English, Jonathan is led on a quixotic journey over a devastated landscape. An arresting blend of high comedy and great tragedy, it is exuberant and wise, hysterically funny and deeply moving, an astonishing debut” .
$22 from major booksellers Publisher: Houghton Mifflin (April 16, 2002)

The Christmas List:
The Essence of Style; How the French Invented High Fashion, Fine Food, Chic Cafes, Style, Sophistication and Glamour By Joan DeJean
This is the book to read if you are interested in fashion, food and history. And yes, anything French. It’s the book about the original King of Bling; Louis XIV.” French historian DeJean’s premise is simple yet wonderfully effective: largely because of one obsessive spendthrift, Louis XIV, France, in the late 17th century, became the arbiter of chic, a position from which it has never since faltered. Louis’s outrageous vanity, sumptuous court and devotion to his own well-being led to growth in the manufacturing of fine clothing and shoes, and the invention of shops in which to buy them, and to celebrity cuisine, cafes and Champagne. Louis was enthralled by glitter, mirrors, and diamonds, and built the first night streetlights (hence the “City of Lights”). Louis also abhorred mud (so streets were paved with cobblestones) and disliked getting wet (thus umbrellas were invented). This engaging history “lite” is a fun read despite its many Sex in the City references’. Sounds good to me.
$16 Publisher: Free Press (July 5, 2005) http://www.amazon.com

A funny thing is happening in fashion for this coming summer: the magazines are full of pages of black, minimalism and the bling backlash, the shops are full of boho chic, pattern and colour…
Economy:
Quick Brown Fox: Lots of new clothes in here though the sizes are always very small. Check out the woven Bottega Veneta style bags $69;the marc Jacobs style Venetia bags $69; the cute ‘Marc’ wallets $30 and there are some cool sandals on sale for an outrageous $12, and bags for about $20. All pleather of course.Wittner shoes: Have some cool metallic bronze, woven heels $119; also some slouch metallic leather bags on sale for about $99 and some pointy flats on sale $49. Kookai is full of more hot pink and watermelon ( trying to kill me). FCUK: I see a watermelon and white stripe T $89; a cord jacket $159 and a watermelon cord skirt. Nuf said. There are choc brown cotton cargos $119 but don’t you have enough of those? There are handy crinkly baggy tanks $49 and cut off shorts $79. I see a cool stone military jacket $150 and a jersey wrap dress in a 50’s graphic print in browns and oranges/purples $160. Veronika Maine: Have a perfect grey cotton tank, very Helmut Lang with a wide hip band and very slouchy $89, there is white pleat front shirt $129 and a pleated black pinstripe skirt with ribbon tie $159. The short khaki cotton trench with ribbon belt is $289, a black chiffon goddess dress is $399 ( ouch). I see watermelon here too…Portmans: have a stone cotton military jacket $99. Be prepared to be ambushed by cotton military jackets this season.Witchery: Watermelon has arrived in Witchery. But check out the sale rack now another 20% off the already reduced prices. Black Flippy skirts are now for $40; A great buy; slimming cut, wear with white singlets and coloured accessories in summer, with boots now. Also check out lots of basic tops and pants on sale too for about $30. Plus I did spy some boots, some flats, and those jewel heels for very reduced prices. New in are some crushed jersey oversized tanks $59; lovely steel grey velvet jackets $149; a good buy (velvet is big for next winter); and there are some cool tan crossover sandals $139. Target: yes, I know you should always buy good quality shoes and bags but check out the black or teal stacked heel woven heels $39, and metallic silver open toe heels $39.

Business:
Tsubi: Have some cool Tsumori Chisato white, cotton, denim military jackets with buttons right up the front $670, amazing black leather crop jacket $1500 and some cool knit wear. Check out the Tsubi jeans of course; some funky yellow skinny jeans, also in lilac ( scary) $180; and crop to the knee shorts $170. The skinny pin jeans are $253. Also the sunglasses are the item du jour. Go to http://www.tsubi.com/but be afraid the noise is annoying and there is not much to see yet. Scanlan & Theodore are on sale with about 20 to 30% off: Check out the green chiffon 40’s dress now $400, the pretty satin cami tops (no lace) now $120, the rib rank with squiggles on front $50 and the belted knit cardigans with bead detail $200.There is a gorgeous crop grey wool melton jacket with leather toggles $350; a chiffon tiered ruffle cami $250, and a faded floral vintage floral blouse $200. Buy the satin wrap shirts $200; pretty pink belted 40’s chiffon dresses now $450; pink chiffon blouse $250, and pink and lime print blouses $350. Buy the brown and blue ruffle blouse $400. Check out the plain tanks $50 (yes watermelon is here), the velvet flocked dress $450, the cuffed side pocket pants in donkey grey $200 and the Mulberry bag is here in burgundy and how gorgeous is the choc brown fur crop jacket with leather trim for $650? Very. Armani Exchange: A crop bolero trench was the item du jour months ago and now more and more keep cropping up ( no pun). Find here a stone cotton crop trench $250, a fabulous silver metallic tank a must buy $89; and a grey scoop neck L/S T $69.Midas: Have more summer shoes just in: Check out the tan heels sandals with fringing on the front $268, the rainbow metallic sandals $268 and I just love the python black or grey round toe serious heels (still here). Very Balenciaga I presume $268. Buy the satin open toe sling backs with a bow, very YSL in pink, oyster, green or brown etc $269. And yes the Chloe esque bag is here too . Armani Exchange in David Jones: there are fab print chiffon halter dresses $640 and lovely simple fine knit T’s $299. Sass & Bide in David Jones: mmm I see watermelon. You can buy the beaded tops with appliqué $390, the goddess dress $390 and the jeans of course. But there is a lot of yellow.Country Road: New in is a crinkle cotton shrunken jacket in a brown $229, the crop tweed pants $199 are very handy wear now, and check out the thin leather bets with white stitching in great colours $59. There are handy side pocket long shorts $159 and those scoop neck L/S T’s in every colour are keeping on from last season. Check out a beaded sheer lace capelet; an item du jour from last year but still cool if you must do bling $299…In homewares there are some quite groovy glass tumblers in a egg shape $12.

First Class:
Weekend Max Mara : the sale continues; Check out the brown puffa jacket with fur collar $645, the black velvet jacket $497 and the fab rib chunky knit crew sweaters in black or cream $266. Fabulous quality. And there is a chic brown peacoat $540.New is alot of non-de-la-non pale blue but buy the stone safari style jacket with silver buttons $700, the slouch brown or black bags $460 plus the cool little stripe T shirts $85. There are some gorgeous black flat slides with a ring leather chain front $350 and chic, cap, sleeve mini stripe T shirts cut on bias $150. Plus fab long sleeve grey T shirts $100, and simple singlets $91.Ralph Lauren: Check out the black cable knit poncho now on sale $599. New is a flippy black skirt is $499, a cotton stone shrunken jacket $599 and a black crop bolero trench $599. Christensen Copenhagen: has some new cute Petit Bateau tops and dresses. Check out the stripe long sleeve T’s; the red stripe cut out tie back T shirt $75; the long sleeve sailing stripe T’s in red and white or navy and white; delicious for $110. The singlet dress is $110 in red or navy.Myer: a few more pieces of Agnes B have turned up but it’s not so thrilling. You’ll have to buy it in Paris next time you’re there. Check out the DKNY dark denim blazer $559; The See by Chloe red and green print, silk, dress,very 40’s $739 but you may look like a Christmas tree, sorry to say. ( I’m talking red and green) I do like white frayed denim jacket $899. Cacherel : check out the pretty Tyrolean floral print dress $1168; the stripe cotton full skirt $379 (seen in Martha & Theodora months ago); and the nice bird print top $459.Collette Dinnigan: What a divine white feather jacket in the window! Also check out the sale there are some good buys such beaded cami/tank now $200; a shell tops $247 and lots of floral dresses. Belinda William St: Check out the Miu Miu if you haven’t raced down there already ( they have already sold alot). Check out the faaaabulous bags; a big, brown, open top tote with leather trim and cool little clip on patches $1280; a big green bag with yellow strap detail $1180; a small, yellow, vintage leather bag with dingle dangle $1100 and a natural linen bag with rope handles is yours for $870. In Mui Mui shoes buy the most gorgeous earthy jewel front chic leather slides $660; the tan clogs, $410 with flower; the orange wedge heels $450; and the square toe, patent sandals in brown and caramel $450.There are brown patent round toe heels $450 and white flat leather sandals with butterfly front $480. Then check out Olivia Morris tan heels with knot front $890; the Marc rope espradrilles $325 and the Sigerson Morrison white sling back wedges $795. Also check out the groovy AF Vanerdvost sandals $575 and the Pierre Hardy shoes too. Helmut Lang will be arriving next week, his last collection. Sad but true. The Corner Shop: Yes, the Miu Miu is here too in all its graphic print glory. Buy the op art print shirt $900 in purples and oranges; the print skirt in browns and silver $670; and the bronze jacket $545. Checkout the denim jacket $650; and the fab 60’s print shirt $650 and the short shorts in orange and brown graphic print $520. And if you are wondering if black (and navy) is back , just buy the Balenciaga and shut up. It’s all gorgeous. And please buy a Missoni stripe scarf here from $150 instead of all those copies everywhere. That should keep you going for a while ( at least till next week)

Spiced Slow-cooked Lamb Shanks (from Jamie Oliver)
Is there anything more comforting than tucking into hot ,home cooked spicey lamb shanks on a cold winters night? And because you cook these hours ahead ( they take 2 hours) you can lie back, relax and read the latest UK Vogue without being disturbed.
*Remember a long list of ingredients means less actual cooking.

For 4 (or 2 gourmands)
4 shanks of lamb
Sea salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 teasp coriander seeds
1 small dried red chili
1 teasp dried marjoram, or, oregano
1 tabs flour
1 tabs olive oil
1 clove of garlic, finely chopped
1 large carrot, quartered, finely, sliced
6 sticks celery, quartered, finely, sliced
2 large onion, finely chopped
1 tabs fresh rosemary
2 tabs balsamic vinegar
170 ml dry white wine
6 anchovy, fillets
2 x 14 oz tins of plum tomatoes
1 handful fresh basil, roughly, chopped

Serve with mash so get some potatoes too

·Preheat oven to 180, but you can cook this on the stove if you like (but make sure you have a dish/saucepan with a lid to keep in all the juices)
·Season the lamb with sea salt and freshly ground black pepper.
·Feeling like a grumpy old woman/man? Bring out the mortar and pestle and smash up the coriander seeds and dried chilli, then mix with the dried marjoram.
·Roll the lamb in this mixture, pressing it in well. Yes, use your fingers and don’t worry about the French polish. Then dust the lamb with the flour.
·It’s time to chop all the vegetables; god, this is so boring. Best to grab a glass of wine (who cares if it’s 4 in the afternoon? This is crucial to the recipe), pop on some music and your our new oversized sunglasses and
·Start chopping the onions, garlic, garlic, carrot, celery, and rosemary…
·Find a gorgeous red Le Creuset casserole pot big enough for the lamb shanks and throw in some oil, and then brown the meat on all sides
·Then remove them from the pan to sit on the bench for a while to recover alone.
·Now add the garlic, carrot, celery, onions and rosemary with a pinch of salt and get them to sweat …which means let them just cook very happily and quietly until they are soft and moist and gorgeous: no sizzling or burning please. (The salt should stop that).
·Add the balsamic vinegar and allow it to reduce to a syrup. Yes, give it permission to reduce.
·Pour in the white wine and let it simmer for about 2 minutes. ( Pour another for yourself and let your self simmer too…)
·Add the anchovies, and then the tinned tomatoes, kept whole. Jamie says to shake the pan ….it seems to do the trick to mix it all
·Then get the lamb and pop them back in the fabulous jus. Bring to the boil, put on the lid and
·Then pop in the oven at 180 C for 1 1/2 - 2 hours, (Or leave on the stove) then remove the lid and cook for a further half an hour
·Hint: cook on the stove then you can bake the fabulously easy Soda bread (see FiFi Report #38)
.Now is a good time to make the mash too.
·Skim off any fat if you can be bothered and taste for seasoning. To serve throw in handfuls of roughly chopped fresh basil, marjoram or flat-leaf parsley.
·Then dollop huge spoonfuls of mash on the plate with the lamb shanks drizzled with jus over it.
Guests will swoon, men will propose, women will look at you in envy and you will be toasted as the chef du jour. is there anything better than that?