“I can assure you they did it the old fashioned way.” Katie Holmes’ aunt has spoken out against reports that tomkat used IVF to conceive. (call me old fashioned but since when was it called old fashioned?).
“Tom and Katie are very excited” says DeVette Tom’s sister (part of being old fashioned).
“Now they wonder if it’s a ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ situation, where Katie is being groomed to provide Tom with a child.” says an unnamed “friend.” ( a good friend)
“You’re no good.” Martin Holmes, Katie’s dad to Tom
“Katie has just announced her retirement for her latest movie Shame On You” Shame on You Katie.
“I’m a little upset about this. Here’s a guy out there lecturing people about drugs, but out of wedlock births don’t seem to bother him.” Tony Danza on TomKat. ( they take drugs for the birth).
“I’m happy for them, but we’re going to send them to Maury Povich’s show for a DNA test.” Tony Danza on TomKitten.(shame on you! Not Maury, anybody, not Maury).
“ We have spent days speculating over how Tom Cruise managed to get Katie Holmes pregnant (I think we settled on either “with a lot of gentle sobbing” or “with a syringe”) Superficial.com ( that’s why it’s called a shot gun wedding).
“She always seemed to have her act together, and getting married first would be part of the plan.” Holmes’s high school classmate (now for Plan B).
“The sex education courses! The teacher explained to us how to not get pregnant. The best way he gave to us was “Abstain!” “ Katie’s best memory in high school (Tom; The 40yr old virgin?).
“ He’s almost more of a stuntman than anything. My stuntman is standing there saying, ‘Tom, can I please do one?’M:I 3 director JJ Abrams on Tom. ( It’s a stunt! publicity stunt).
“I think that this kid, if I had to guess, will be a stuntperson, Girl or boy, future action hero or not, that baby is going to have a good life” JJ Abrams, on Katie Holmes and her upcoming release, The Spawn of Tom.
“…that’s Tom. He can do whatever the f*** he wants. Who gives a s***?Katie’s Ex, Chris Klein
“TomKitten: Apocalypse Now” Headline in Gawker
“It’s the end of the world as we know it…” — REM
“I want to dominate the world, I have never understood not aspiring to that.” Tom Cruise? No, thank the Lord ( or Ron.L. Hubbard), it’s Tom Ford. Bring it on.

How many times do I have to tell you? The Gypsy look is over and out (except on the beach). It’s time to embrace a more grown up, lady like, groomed look. So take all your hippy boho looks and donate them all to the Olsen twins (they’ll be enough for two). Then saunter into Kookai for their chic little satin and ribbon headbands. They come in all sorts of colours and prints and are as pretty as can be. You’ll be chic, polished and look as poised as Anna Wintour. Just keep an eye out for PETA and the pies.

$5 Satin Headband from Kookai.

This is going to take some getting used to. The waist is back and it must be belted. That’s right; bring your belt up from hips to that bit in the middle under your boobs and above your hips. It’s worth having a little practice now before you go out shopping, you may trouble finding your actual waist. Repeat after me. Grab that belt and bring it up and pull it in. Breathe in. Smile. Hint: To feel better about the whole thing use a YSL belt , he was the one who started it all last season. Ok, now go to Style.com and check out the YSL show, http://www.style.com/fashionshows/collections/S2006RTW/review/YSLRG.
Get the drift? Now go to the Chloe show. Shot #7. Go out a buy that striped elastic belt as soon as you can. As Sarah Mower says, it’s the key accessory for spring.

Join the dots. I play this game every morning on my face. I grab the foundation and try to cover my, um, er, freckles. Problem is sometimes you can cover them too much and you look like Cher. In Madame Tussauds. And sometimes you just can’t cover them enough and you look like Danny Bonaduce from The Partridge Family. Then and now. When I discovered Bloom’s lovely liquid foundation I was relieved to know that joining the dots would finally get easier. It is very light, and natural looking but still gives really good coverage. Plus it has SPF 8 and pretty lavender essential oil so your skin smells fresh. I am using use it every day until the plastic surgeon plays noughts and crosses on my face…

$35 Bloom Liquid Foundation from Bloom Cosmetics.

Lingerie maker Agent Provocateur has launched a store in Printemps in Paris. Beyoncé was there for the opening plus Vivienne Westwood and Malcolm McClaren, parents of Provocateur co-founder Joseph Corre.
Everyone but everyone is raving about the movie ‘The Squid and the Whale’ ; it was the darling at Sundance. http://www.squidandthewhalemovie.com/
As reported, designer Sophia Kokosalaki has been secretly working on the relaunch of a Madeleine Vionnet collection.
FIAC, the annual contemporary art fair held in the Grand Palais in Paris was held last week but if you are interested in art : http://www.fiacparis.com/
Jeff Koons designed necklaces and charm bracelets for the Stella McCartney show and he will have center stage at the inaugural exhibit at the François Pinault Foundation at the Palazzo Grassi in Venice.
The world’s largest Louis Vuitton store opened in Paris.
Drew Barrymore will do the next Missoni ad campaign and is in Ibiza for the shoot, posing for Missoni’s regular lensmen, Mert Alas and Marcus Piggot.
Lauren Hutton is in Paris to launch an issue of Big magazine devoted to her. “There are 270 pictures of me’ http://www.bigmagazine.com/home.htm
‘Galerie Kreo, the hip Paris design gallery where the likes of Karl Lagerfeld and Azzedine Alaïa scoop up cutting-edge furniture and lighting, is teaming up with Christian Lacroix for his new store concept. The first, slated to bow next spring in Las Vegas, will be a mix of “past, present and future,” (Las Vegas?) WWD.
‘Biba, the cult brand that sent British teenagers shopping mad in the Swinging Sixties, is coming back. A retro accessories collection — finished with hand-painted and laser-cut Art Nouveau effects — will hit select stores next spring. Meanwhile, a Biba ready-to-wear collection, designed by Bella Freud, will be unveiled during the next London Fashion Week.’ WWD
Pharrell Williams’ has teamed up with Marc Jacobs on a jewelry and luggage project “Louis Vuitton has shown me a lotta love,” he said. WWD
In London go to the Frieze art Fair http://www.friezeartfair.com/. Stylist Katie Grand and Isabella Blow will give tours and critiques of what people are wearing.
Go here for an old fashioned holiday http://www.chateaudecamon.com
Buy the latest Visionaire: Mario Testino has edited it and called it ‘Uncensored.’ http://www.visionaireworld.com
Nobu has opened another restaurant, in New York designed by David Rockwell .http://www.myriadrestaurantgroup.com/nobu57

http://www.diorboutique.com/
This Dior has just been launched. Click on ‘France’ and then go to ‘Live’ to see the latest show…Stella Tennant opens the show… (how could she have had had 4 children ?).

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/home.asp
I love this website: it’s hilarious; watch the Kate Moss video or play the Katrina vs Iraq game…

Lapo Elkann, the great-great-grandson of Fiat founder Giovanni Agnelli, was taken to the hospital after overdosing at the Turin apartment of a transvestite. Fiat issued a statement saying simply the cause was “respiratory problems of pharmacological origin.” .
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have sold their wedding photos to OK! Magazine providing photographic evidence that they are man and wife–or at least a reason facsimile thereof.
Rocker Jack White, is expecting his first child with new wife model Karen Elson.
Christy Turlington is expecting a baby boy.
Model Carmen Kass fainted backstage at the Prada show, prompting rumours that she’s pregnant with her chess-master boyfriend, Eric Lobron
Natalia Vodianova also confirmed that she is pregnant again.
Are Sienna and Jude on or off? Sienna apparently marched into Jude’s hotel in Paris where she was meeting him for lunch after he had spent the night clubbing with Salma Hayek. She ’screamed at Jude Law then broke down and buried her head in his lap. The couple later travelled back to London together on Eurostar’.
Jude dumped her for good last week after she slept with Layer Cake actor Daniel Craig
Elizabeth Hurley says she’ll finally marry fiancé Arun Nayar next year “Hugh will not be our best man, I might ask David [Furnish] though.” Whether Arun has a say in the matter wasn’t mentioned
Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were spotted in more than just a friendly embrace.
LEONARDO DICAPRIO is rumoured to have bought an appartment in New York, with Gisele Bundchen, fuelling more speculation that they are engaged.
MARILYN MANSON announced at the Dior show he was planning to launch his own fragrance. Stinky?
Go here; http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9651212 to see Anna Wintour hit with a pie by PETA as she attended the Chloe show . The devil wears tofu.
The International Herald Tribune fashion editor Suzy Menkes dashed out of the Alexander McQueen show with her hands over her ears and was later seen slumped outside on the stairs, attended to by Vogue’s Anna Wintour and André Leon Talley, “If L’Wren Scott says the music is loud — it’s loud,” Menkes quipped, referring to the celebrity stylist and Mick Jagger’s girlfriend.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
This book has had rave reviews and it is a must read. Warning : it’s a really sad story. “In December 2003 two terrible things happened to writer Joan Didion: her only child, Quintana, married months earlier, was hospitalized in a coma, and five days later her husband, John Gregory Dunne, died “in the living room of our apartment in New York [after] a sudden massive coronary event” just as he and Didion were about to have dinner. For more than a year, Didion’s life was completely taken over by these events; The Year of Magical Thinking is the story of that year. A heartbreaking footnote: Six weeks ago, Quintana Roo Dunne Michael died in New York City. She was 39 years old. Her mother decided, properly, not to alter this book. “It’s finished,” she said.
$16 http://www.amazon.com/Publisher: Knopf (October 4, 2005)

The Christmas list
20 Years Dolce & Gabbana (Hardcover) by Sarah Mower
These guys just love a big glossy glamorous book, in fact they love a big glamorous glossy anything. This luxurious slip-cased volume celebrates twenty years of an incomparable partnership, drawing together their most significant moments in fashion. It is a collection of memories and iconic images which marks every step of their evolution, featuring the work of photographers such as Steven Meisel, Mario Sorrenti and Ferdinando Scianna, and models including Gisele, Linda Evangelista, Isabella Rossellini and Marpessa.
US $78 http://www.amazon.com Publisher: 5 Continents; Slipcase edition (October 31, 2005)

Economy:
Witchery: Check out their simple silver beaded (on the shoulders) tank racer in grey $49; a choc brown tank $49 with bronze sequins on neck; a walnut bag with brass studs with extendable straps $169 is cool. Kookai: they have some fabulous Moroccan jewellery here; silver, chunky necklaces as well as chic stone necklaces on leather. There is a cute strapless pink/orange paisley tiered dress $199 ( Hint: there will be more of these surfacing as the season goes on) ; a pink and green chiffon top $99 and a V neck (ruched up the side) T-shirts are very handy $39.Esprit: There are some chic, simple T’s in cotton with slight beading on neck $34; a cool, floral, hippy dress in great green/red multi print with a tiered skirt and a self belt; cute, $129; a chic pinstripe jacket in brown $299 is good affordable chic for work. There are some good, classic chinos $79 in a stone. Plus check out the gold Indian sandals $59 ; also in silver and some flat ballets shoes in brights are sweet $79. Buy the handy black side pocket shorts to the knee $59.Portmans: have a very pretty pink and orange paisley chiffon caftan top with silver sequins $79 ( yes, you can buy it at this price).Mollini: Checkout the fab round toe, ballet flats in black or snakeskin $128; the ankle strap kitten heels in black with a Missoni harlequin embroidery strip $128; the chic, flat sandals with a square link bracelet leather strip as T bar $128 in soft mint and cream and dusty pink; the choc or gold woven plaited front heels $128 and the silver or gold open toe heels $128 ( they are all $128 here! ). Also check out the snakeskin ankles straps in blues or green $189. Just jeans: Go here for the fab white, cotton broderie anglaise cami and tops from $39; all over the runways last week in Milan and Paris. Buy now and keep wearing them. There are ¾ jeans for $69 and a fab navy,cotton military jacket with brass buttons, double breasted for $89( cheap!) and a pretty blue and white graphic print tunic top $69.MNG: There are some cool purple drape tops $69; a grey jersey cami is chic with a red plaited trim $154; a denim peacoat is a good buy as reported last week. There is a chic purple paisley print chiffon caftan top $69; a fab single breasted black fitted jacket $189 to go with the trousers $99 for work and some chic satin ribbon tied cardigans from $79.

Business:
http://www.scanlantheodore.com.au/ Check this out, its fabulous, you can now e shop. David Lawrence: Check out the chic black or brown Mulberry style brass buckle pocket bag $229 and the big, moc croc doctors bag, very Gucci $229. There is a good black, single breasted jacket $349, plus trousers $179 for work. Check out the flat front, silk, drop waist skirt in brown/red/and creams $169 and the flat front pleated denim skirt $129. There is a strapless black satin, 50’s dress $299; a very resort style olive print tiered skirt $219 and there is a cool white, cotton cami with broderie anglasie trim $119. David Jones: The Stella McCartney for Addidas is here in the city store. Check out the double layer tanks in grey and white $120 and track pants and all sorts of goodies that you could wear not just for sport. Delicious. Also head to the shoe department for the shoe sale I saw some divine Mui Mui shoes; round toe with leather flowers on the front $550 and some fab Prada grey patent flats on sale here with 30% off, now around $400.Plus checkout the bag sale too; I spied a chic Pedder bag reduced by 50% to $370. Mimco: Love the jewellery here: the bangles are great and so are the necklaces. There are bright beads, silver necklaces on leather and some chic cuffs. Plus they have 20’s sequin headbands. There are some crinkle cut leather slouch bags that have extendable straps and are perfect for travelling and the perfect sun hats great for the beach , chuck on a flower for the races. Oroton: I like the bags they have this season much groovier than previously and less like the Coach copy of the Gucci. Go for the stone slouch hobo $349 and the big oversized hobo $799 or the oversized hobo with silver buckles or the choc brown slouch bag $799.Country Road; Love the very Lanvin stone or blush, silk taffeta, raw edge, trench coat; divine with epaulettes $349; the red ish/pink Guava silk camisole $69; the drop waist georgette border silk skirt $189; and the black drape neck jersey top with a smattering of black sequins; good for day and night $79.Check out the cute ballet flats in different colours in fabric or suede $99; a slinky blue halter waterfall front dress gathered front $199; and some great side pockets chinos $149. Hint: Chinos look great with a cami in a colour , they tone down the colour but they look fresher than black or denim, plus chinos look great with heels. There is a fab white cami with a cute little broderie anglaise insert ( not over board on hippy chic) $49 and I like the black strapless 50’’s style dress with diagonal panelling $299. Plus I see they have the fabulous new book by style Guru Ilse Crawford ;‘ Home is where the Heart is’ (see FiFi Report #75 in March ) for $49. A must buy. Spencer and Rutherford; Go past the bags and head to the groovy shoes by Autre Chose. Best style is the blue/white or red/white check, open toe, sling backs with a square front $340 and the fab open toe, choc brown shoes with cone heels $395.Max and Co: A few new pieces here: A lot of crinkle linen which doesn’t do it for me but check out the Gold/silver sling backs ( low) $295; the grey, linen, denim flat front, pleated skirt with a self belt $295; the grey tank is till here and a great buy with silver sequin trim on the neck line $189. There is a cool tie dye purple tank $165 and pretty white caftan tops $210. Zimmerman: Check out the blue and white rose print cotton halter 50’s dress $234; the black gathered sexy dress $407; the stripe seersucker jacket $539 and the cool bag in blue leather with white stitching $336. There is a slinky backless dress $374 and a cute brown and aqua stipe knit cardi and tank $253. Love the swimwear, of course, but also check out the cool cotton cami in pink and orange zebra with tuck detail $209. There is a very groovy denim loose bomber jacket here too for $390.

First :
And now straight from the runways of Paris here is the news on RTW S/S 06. The hot collections? Lanvin, Balenciaga , YSL and Chloe. LANVIN: Elbaz defended his position as a front-runner in the fashion pack for another season. He hurried on from fall’s beribboned faux-naivete. Gone was the ruffled romance, and banished were Elbaz’s bell-skirted belles. It was all replaced by a rigorous silhouette so pared down it was aerodynamic and a look that crackled with Eighties attitude.WWD. Yves Saint Laurent: a polished sportif chic achieved through the counterpoint of smart tailoring and bold decoration. It made for his best collection to date. Pilati dipped into the house history, mining his basic theme from the maestro’s Spanish motif, then keeping his references so discreet one barely noticed them. His preferred silhouette: clean and lean with an Eighties cast to the cut, with demonstrative frills softening the inherent precision. WWD. Chloé: Phoebe’s back, and you can tell. Returning after a season’s maternity leave, Philo sent out a collection that put a crisp new shape, proportion, and vigor into Chloé’s step. “I just wanted to do volume; something new,” she said of the pristine A-line shapes and stiffer couture fabrics she used to replace the drifty layers that launched a gazillion copies last year. Now Chloé has a fresh look: It flares from the shoulder, stops above the knee, and swings leggily along on great chunky platforms. Style.com.Balenciaga: Great fashion comes from designers who can fuse two apparently contradictory ideas together to create a synthesis that has never occurred to anyone before. That was the order of experiment—and risk—taken on by Nicolas Ghesquière at Balenciaga. He was aiming to make something new of “architecture, embellishment, sharpness and ornamentalism.” The show condensed Balenciaga past and present, starting with evocations of Cristobal’s cocktail bubbles, creamily rendered in heavy radzimir and embossed silk, and then delivering the surprise—densely elaborated upgrades of Ghesquière’s tailoring and drifty patchwork dresses. Style.com .Chanel: Coco meets James Dean. So read the translucent band that fastened the pile of photographs inside Karl Lagerfeld’s press kit for his spring Chanel show. Lagerfeld was too busy spewing thoughts in every direction — belted tweed dirndls, suits in blinding brights, even more blinding artsy prints, exuberant Fifties party frocks, calm Sixties party frocks, and on and on and on. All of which should make for a shopaholic’s delight come spring — unless she’s looking for clarity of message. WWD. Louis Vuitton: So au revoir, discretion. Adieu, sobriety. Bienvenue, fun times, brash clothes and a petite homage to Versace, all of which Jacobs served up in what he called “a celebration of status and luxury.” A bounty of rich-girl play clothes with attitude. They came short and shorter, bright and brighter, invested with sharp graphics, vibrant linings, chunky bead embroideries and a healthy dose of the Eighties. Though not Jacobs’ best collection for the house, it was lots of fun, making a crowd-pleasing antidote to a largely dull season WWD. Dior: A fellini esque show: they came, all tricked up in campy carnival tawdriness Three sets of twins, glamazons, lesbians, cross-dressers, punks, pimps, waiters, soldiers and grand dames, ending with the bride and groom, both little people. The clothes? Beautiful indeed. Many in the audience found it marvelous, seeing it as a welcome respite from two weeks of mostly boring European shows. For those neither captivated by the spectacle nor moved by the message (at least a few in the crowd took offense), the whole thing was a flop. WWD

Lamb and Pumpkin Massaman Curry,
This is from The Spice Market in Double Bay .The recipe was in Good Living years ago and I have coveted it ever since. A sensational dish, use a jar of Massman curry and lite coconut milk instead of cream if you must. (though the coconut cream is fabulous.)

You will need for 2
1 lamb rack
2 star anise
1 large pumpkin wedge (about 300g)
2 tbsp massaman curry paste
1 tsp Chinese five-spice
200mL coconut cream
200mL water
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp chicken stock powder
Pinch salt
3 kaffir lime leaf, finely sliced
1 long red chilli

·Cut up the pumpkin into chunky pieces ( the size of the YSL wedge) with the skin on.
·Cover lamb with water in a medium saucepan. Yes, you are going to poach the lamb.
·Add star anise and boil for 20 minutes over medium heat.
·Cover and set aside
·While the lamb is cooking, boil pumpkin for 10 minutes or until cooked but firm. ( like your brow after botox)
·Cut up the lime leaves and the chilli into chic, little slices for accessorizing later
·When the lamb is done after about 20 to 30 mins you can cover and set aside.
·Pour a drink, ponder the extraordinary miracle of the TomKitten saga.
·Heat up a wok to medium.
·Toss in the massaman curry paste for 5 minutes.
·Add Chinese five-spice and cook for further 2 minutes.
·Reserve a tablespoon of that naughty coconut cream for drizzling later and add the rest, as well as the water, to the wok.
·Bring mixture to the boil then add sugar, stock powder and salt. Cook for 2 minutes.
·Add the lamb, reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes.
·Bring to boil for further 2 minutes.
·Now is a good time to pop on some steamed rice.
·Hint: If the lamb is not cooked let it simmer for longer, it’s delicious if it’s falling off the bone.
·To serve, toss the lamb on top of the pumpkin wedge and accessorize with kaffir lime leaves, chilli and all that creamy extra coconut cream. ( don’t even think about trying to get into those skinny jeans).
Serve with steamed jasmine rice. Heaven.

Must Love Dogs …..directed by Gary David Goldberg
Who: Diane Lane, John Cusack, Elizabeth Perkins and from ‘The Sound of Music’; Christpher Plummer.
The Plot: Divorced 40 something Girl meets guy #1. Then girl meets guy # 2 over internet. Guy #2 thinks she is with guy #1. Girl wants guy #2.
Will girl get Guy #1 or #2?
Acting: This makes me think Renee was fantastic in Cinderella Man. Diane Lane gets the funny lines, she just can’t deliver them. John Cusack has a nap while he’s acting but is still sexy apart from his hair ( see Salon be beaute).
Photography: This makes me realize how beautiful the depression was in Cinderella Man.
Wardrobe: Dagorama. Why did Diane Lane agree to all those hideous dating outfits? No wonder she can’t get a guy.
Salon Beaute: John Cusack’s dye job is excruciatingly bad. Memo to John: Think George Clooney grey.
Smooches: it’s a rom com without enough smooching. (But why would anyone want to kiss a guy with that hair?).
Smokin’ Smooches: no smoking, no smooches.
Car chases: Only when they are desperate to find condoms. (don’t get excited, there are no smokin’ smooches).
Botox? Diane Lane deserves an Oscar for NOT having botox. Seeing her forhead so screwed up and wrinkled is quite shocking. I got wrinkles looking at it.
When Harry met Sally romance Richter scale: 4/10. Come back Meg Ryan; all is forgiven ( even your silicon lips).
Worst review: ‘Must Love Dogs is an Internet dating comedy so weightless that it makes a trifle like You’ve Got Mail look like Chekhov’ .
Best Worst reviews: “There’s no compelling reason why these two characters ought to be compatible except that their names come first and second in the opening credits.” ZAP2IT.COM
“Rolls over and plays dead.” COMPUSERVE
“Calling it a dog is an insult to canines” CNN.
See it or donate to the Prada bag/save Katie fund? Mildly amusing, see it on DVD. Please donate now to the Save TomKitten fund.
http://www2.warnerbros.com/mustlovedogs/index.html